![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 31 to 55 of 89. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2018, at 22:17:52
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2018, at 22:13:36
they just chose not to process my med application. there is this clause about 'normally x' but nothing to say that if x doesn't obtain then applications get to be culled.
but culled it was.
then i had something about how x was going to be the case... so they started processing again and i got an interview.
then that thing didn't turn out (because it wasnt processed in time). so they stopped processing to.
and they say 'try again next year!'
but if they didn't process me this year, why would they process me next year?
and if they just don't process things when they feel like not processing things then why would i trust them to process things in future?
i mean... do i really want to study a medical degree with them if every single year i worry abotu whether or not they processed my year alright or not? whether they are going to credit me the degree or try and flunk me out right at that very last minute, there...
why would anybody want things to be this way?
i don't understand.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2018, at 22:21:34
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2018, at 22:17:52
apparently there is an incentive to keep you in the program once you are in the program because by culling you they are down a student in your cohort and they can't replace that student (get another students fees).
but probably not so very much to complete you right at the last minute, there.
except for the world database thing which makes them report how many students they have and how many were graduated. for the international thing. which will affect their international students aka $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
i'm sure they have a line about how 'only the applicants who really want it figure out how to get their application processed'.
well. just so long as the applicants were focused on making administration want to process their application (and not on studying for their examinations) then all must be well in the world.
i mean, really. what is one supposed to say.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:19:38
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2018, at 22:21:34
so apparently now it was processed, it was just that i was too crap to get offered a place. and then i wasn't going to be offered a place even if i wasnt crap because i didn't meet some clause...
but i don't believe them when it comes to my rank score.
i mean... they tried that one already. they sent me a email to say my application was unsuccessful because i didn't make it to interview. the idea being that i didnd't meet the GPA cut-off. only i would have had one of the higher GPAs so i queried it... and they then offered me an interview...
so now they say that i was rank scored lower than 40 other people who did not make places, either. only... i don't believe that. not with my GPA.
and then they took me off that, anyway, over the interpretation of a phrase that didn't have a comma to disambiguate the way they choose to disambiguate which meant they threw me off the list.
how am i supposed to take this process / them seriously?
when they seem so very very very very very very very determined to cull me at every single point they possibly could.
why are they so awful to me?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:24:47
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:19:38
and they just go 'it's okay! try again next year!'
yeah...
spend several hundred dollars on the test again (where one test gave me a low score because, you know, i'm autistic which means i get a low score' and then the next test gave me an even lower score because, you know, previously i asked for accommodatinos and this time i didn't and so this time i hvae to do worse because otherwise it would look like their accommodations were actually discriminations against). so they f*ck*d it up. completely. by basically not just... giving me the score i f*ck*ng well earned in the first place... or maybe they actually were never capable of giving people the score that they f*ck*ng well earned at all...
i mean... how can i go from getting maybe 2 or 3 section 2 (verbal) questions wrong in all their hundreds of questions test preparation material only to score low 60's for the actual test (which was actually a thinly veiled 'personality assessment' where they clearly valued boorishness - since I figured they probably didn't want boorishness and i did badly - boorishness it was).
but i pay them for the privaledge of supporting... their boorish private school 17 and 18 year old offspring getting expediated wonderful scores because they are future of healthcare for australasia. clearly.
why think this year will be any different?
it's a f*ck*ng farce.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:30:15
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:24:47
and there's 'normally' clauses all over the place. like... the interview portion of selection is based on objective qualities that are assessed... uh... 'normally' by interview.
but i guess 'also not normally' by... whatever mechanism they like.
apparently people get 'definate yes' and 'definite no' scores (must have or must not have) on the basis of interview.
i wonder how that goes...
'one parent is a doctor, they therefore demonstrate perfect knowledge of the field and if they then say they want to do it they also demonstrate perfect motivation --- must have!!!'
and then we have the university administrations kids.. the business peoples kids... the politicians kids..
if they are all expediated through with 'definite yes' because of their 'must have' qualities then it makes sense that someone with (say) an 8.3 GPA would miss out because, you know, there are 40 people or whatever who got 'definite yes' just so long as they made the very basic cut off for GPA.
the whole thing just feels like a f*ck*ng farce.
just one more year?
how many times have i been there before...
i think give me the place that i'm owed.
yeah.
i think people have profiteered from me a little too much already.
i think they have and i think they have been.
i'm really f*ck*ng fed up
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:36:00
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:30:15
because this was the year i was going to f*ck*ng well earn it via hard work.
but my supervisor decided to sit my work in her tray for 5 weeks because, you know, why wouldn't you - if you thought you could get away with it?
people decide to teach me a little lesson in 'your hard work isn't worth anything unless we acknowledge your work and we simply dismiss it and so what are you going to do about it?
people decide to berate me all year on how i can't possibly get done in standard time. i need to take longer than everyone else. because of my autism, you know, standard accommodation for it is extra time because if you have the diagnosis that means everyone around you gets to waste your time and not acknowledge the work you do with your time and get you spending your time doing their work and get you you know... staying poor and throwing money at them while they continue to make the considerable profits they do and have been at your expense for... how many years now? and how many years to come?
and all this is a f*ck*ng farce because it's not even about me being granted my independence or my freedom or any of that. it's about entry to a f*ck*ng program that is just the very start of however many years of being their bitch on the way to...
why is it so f*ck*ng hard to get started?
oh, yeah, expediating their kids... their kids... the best of the kids here... the kids who were expediated through to take up all the charity overseas offers our way... those kids... all the US scholarships and the british training places... those kids...
whatever...
they didn't process anything of mine normally all year. i didn't get sent an offer of interview with all the other kids.
i got targetd for 'special treatment' alright.
i f*ck*ng hate this country.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:43:06
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:36:00
i say 'i have a disability but i am seeking no accommodaitons please just process me with all the other kids'
so they say i don't make cut off for interview.
only, i did make cut off for interview.
so they say i didn't make it to ranking because i'm not eligable.
so i point out that the clause doesn't support their culling my application from ranking.
so they say they actually did rank me and i ranked badly.
and that then after i ranked badly i was removed from ranking because i'm not eligable.
i bet all their kids have to do all of this. every step of teh f*ck*ng way. sure they do.
or only the autistic ones?
?
i guess this is supposed to be a lesson in huddling with the herd because if you appear differnet for any reason you will be constantly targeted for exclusion.
i know that.
therefore: put me with peers.
before i die.
thanks.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 15:30:22
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 2:43:06
the whole thing was just a jack up / conspiracy to make me waste another year.
instead of the dean inquiring about when they needed evidence of completion the dean inquired about whether i could apply again, next year.
instead of them not telling the f*ck*ng world whether or not i was eligable to apply again next year (personal information -- right???) they tell the f*ck*ng world that it's okay -- i can apply again next year.
they intentionally stabotaged me in order to waste yet another year of my life.
and that was why i was flunked for population health, too. because they thought they would get me for another 2 years to finish up a degree.
then right for that very last course of my degree there would be that one person sitting there with something sufficiently arbitrarily graded like a laboratory report or perhaps a nonsense multi-guess where the answers are not released... and they would make sure you just scrape the cut off for entry to honours but don't do well enough for entry to medicine or entry to anything overseas.
unless you are 'one of their kids' of course.
there is no integrity in our university system, anymore.
they used to say that university was unfair because it was only for the rich / elite... only i don't see that it was, in this country. it was for anyone who wanted to go. you could take out a loan to go to university in this country if you wanted to go. this was during a time when people were going from secondardy school into employment, however. so going to university was taking a short-term sacrifice for some longer term objective.
now... there aren't jobs so everyone must go to university. so now the grades are meaningless because the good ones are given to the kids who they select for ... not even jobs...
for entry into training programs. the private training programs that may or may not give you a job out the end of it...
i'm not even good enough to be cannon fodder taking the shots for their kids along the way.
f*ck*ng idiot *ssh*l*s.
i hate this country.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 15:47:40
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 15:30:22
my old supervisor said something once about how we don't believe in bonding anymore, we believe in branding. we don't believe in apprenticeships anymore - the idea of people working for a time in order to pay off the cost of their training. instead we believe in branding - the idea of permanently marking our property with something that means they are forever stuck as our slaves.
this is not the free world.
this is all just a lesson in how if i won't do as i'm told (primarily to do something else: to do philosophy, to do law, to do bioanthropology, to do cell biology) then i will forever be excluded. forced to live on welfare, wracking up more and more and more of a (false) debt to work and income in order to cover basic items like motorcycle repairs (since my house does not have a garage for it and it will get blown over occasionally and things will break)... forced to keep handing money over to the university so they can use that money to offer full fee paying scholarships to their elite kids... so they can earn in excess of $200,000 per year while not even acknowledging receipt of request to look into why an examination process is taking more than 3 months several weeks later...
this is not the free world.
i f*ck*ng hate this country. and all the idiot *ssh*l*s expediating the next generation of idiots to further expediate the demise of this country where the people are thrown as slaves to the savages... but then that's happened already.
i f*ck*ng hate this country.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:27:56
In reply to Re: processing, posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2018, at 15:47:40
I got "First Aid for USMLE" for 2019 even though it is unclear to me whether or not I get to do Med. Now, or ever.
For anyone who is following along, who doesn't know, it seems to be the go-to textbook studying for Step 1 of the Medical Lisencing Exam for the US. It's a really nice summary textbook of the basic science and basic organ system information that you are expected to know. More than that, it is a really nice summary textbook of things that it seems pretty darned obvious (to me) are useful or helpful to know. Relevant stuff. High yield. Whether it has anything to do with that particular exam, or not. Which is precisely what (to my mind) makes it worthwhile.
No matter how much of a jack-up the actual test (and test score allocation) might be...
I notice it does have a speel on how some schools are focused on high test scores... While other schools are more focused on other things. Letters of reccommendation, and the like. And I guess that is the thing, really. Me applying to MIT and Cornell... They were both Ivy League / Who's who kinds of schools. I needed letters from people who were known to people on the inside there, and / or to be from one of the schools where there is a through-flow of people (collaboration) between them...
There are plenty of really good schools in the US that are less... 'Destination' (for want of a better word). I should think more carefully about (and try and identify) that which is under-rated and on it's way up... That's more the spirit of it, for me... It's too 'easy' to find some of the bigger schools with more marketing investment and so on -- but those probably are not a very good fit for me...
I've been having lots of administration troubles, here. With the processing (or not). They are refusing to complete my research qualification in a timely fashion and I need it to be complete to be eligable for my next program of study.
It is like how the public schools won't get students grades back in time for them to start University the following year.
Or in time for them to be eligable for foreign scholarships to overseas Universities the following year.
The place I applied to Med... They calculated my GPA wrong (according to their algorithm). They aren't very explicit about their algorithm, but there are some statements of it that aren't too-contradictory so are probably at least partly authorative. And they say about 'full-time' and 'best 120 points'. But they calculated my GPA on the basis of one part time year... Treating it as a full time year. And they calculated my GPA on the basis of my worst (rather than best) 120 points for the other year. They made a complete balls-up of it, in other words. 8.0 instead of... Well, I make it to be 8.6. That's a pretty big difference when the GPA is weighted for 60 per cent of selection. I would be astounded if it wasn't enough for a place.
And yet, I still don't have a place.
Offers were sent out December 10 and I don't have a place.
Apparently my GPA was too low. Apparently with the 8.0 they gave me I was 40 places lower than the last selected Graduate.
I don't believe that... Or... I'll believe it when I see it...
I've put in an official request for information to see the rank list.
But then even if they calculate my GPA correctly (and they haven't acknowledged that they f*ck*d it up, yet) I'm not eligable (unless they make a 'special exception' because the other University refuses to say I've completed my thesis, you see.There are a range of thesis outcomes from 'accepted - subject to minor changes completed within 10 weeks' to 'accepted - subject to major changes to be completed within 10 weeks' down to 'failed. the thesis is returned to the student. teh student is required to pay 6 months additional fees before resubmitting the thesis'.
they are trying to make me believe the outcome is the last.
but the outcome is supposed to be on the basis of examiners reports.
the examiners say i should 'keep working' on 'making changes' but they don't say whether i should do that for 10 weeks or 6 months.a bunch of people from the Uni (who don't have authority to make final decision on thesis outcome) 'invite' me to pay 6 months more fees to the university.
they all go on and on and on about the scope and extent of the changes required.
they say i'm required to log all the changes so it's easy for someone else to verify i've done them (i don't see any evidence of that)
they just...
They all seem so utterly full of sh*t.
Is this a f*ck*ng joke?
Is it really the case that everyones stuff is mis-processed unless you spend however many hours paying sufficient homage to administration?
They simply refuse to do their job.
Refuse to work in a timely fashion.
Awful people.
This is corruption, yes? I mean... This is exactly what corruption looks like. I don't know another way to see this...
I'm spending all this time doing appeals and so on for the VC and Dean and so on and so forth... All these people paid in excess of $200,000 per year... Who don't seem able to calculate a GPA or deliver an assessment outcome for a 120 piont paper (1 academic year study) within 4 months.
Why can't they just do their job?
ffs.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:37:52
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:27:56
All I can do is make the changes within the 10 week time-frame, I realise.
Get it hard-bound.
Once I've submitted the hard-bound version they either accept it (f*ck knows how many months later) or they reject it. If they reject it then there is no 'pay us 6 months more fees and maybe we'll pass you later'. There is only accepted or not accepted at that point.
My supervisor said she couriered her comments so I'll wait a few days for them to turn up, make some changes, get it in.
I suppose it's possible they won't sort out things with Auckland until I've submitted the hard-copy.
I'm just f*ck*ng mad that people refuse to process my things normally. They refuse to offer me an interview with all the other people who are offered interviews. They say 'declined'. Then, after I spend several days trying to sort it out, two days after interviews have started, I get an interview. I don't get an offer of place with all the other people who are offered places. I get 'declined'. Then, after several weeks trying to sort it out...
It doesn't make me feel warmly / kindly towards these people, at all.
I mean... If they wanted me to think well of them, this is not the way for htem to be going about that.
The 10 week timeframe... It was something about making changes and submitting the hardcopy and it being accepted within 10 weeks.
So the idea is that I should pay 1/2 fees again to fund the fact that the university thinks it should allow someone 6 months to read it, again.
I'm supposed to pour an endless stream of money into them doing their jobs so slowly... So slowly... So slowly.... Such that I can only study part time. Because they're not capable of processing a full-time workload for a student.
What a f*ck*ng joke.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:42:03
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:37:52
Of course I'm just supposed to go away, really, so there is more room for their kids. And more room for kids who get to do it because they are less complain-y about taking the hits to better expediate the progress of their kids...
Deep breath...
These are the people who got chucked back...
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:48:40
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:42:03
There will be an issue, I would imagine, where the University will not release completion information in time for the match.
There was something in the New Zealand Medical Journal about students feeling pressured to do invasive examinations (e.g., cervical) without having obtained informed consent. E.g., on women anesthetised for surgery for unrelated things. Or under situations where it wasn't clear to the student that consent had been obtained. They needed someone to sign off they had observed them doing the procedure, you see. For completion.
And so... What do you do?
The idea seems to be: You keep your head down and you huddle with the herd, and you give them no reason to single you out. Because they can just flunk you out of the program, or withhold your grade, and what are you going to do about that?
This is the culture.
And this is, of course, why training here and obtaining registration to practice in the civilised world is no small feat.
Because these things are fairly obvious no brainer unacceptable.
But they are *required* here as part of the whole branding / bonding thing we do where only the kids who are unacceptable to everyone else get to be promoted and revered as our best. Ooooooh mighty leader. Son or daughter of head administrator. Born to power.
Ugh.
I was worried about prostate exams, before. But apparantly the focus is largely on cervical exams. Newborns, in the first instance. Collecting the cells... Observing the progression of cervical cancers...
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:57:03
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:48:40
Or not...
I don't know what administration is playing at, at this point.
It might be that they are seeing whether they can get me to self-implode.
That won't happen.
It might be that this is genuinely fun for them. That could be it.
I suppose it is possible that many or most students are routinely mis-processed and the only difference is that I'm standing up to it.
I suspect that is it.
I guess they are used to expediating the ones who have been properly trained to keep their heads sufficiently down.
I forgot how oppressive the culture was, at Auckland, particularly. No, here, too. The kids are scared. People in power seem to like to keep them scared.
I don't know that they would have any other student (or how many they would have) who elected to do more than 120 points in 1 year. I wonder if they genuinely did do worst 120 point GPAs all round...
They didn't process my enrolment in my thesis until May. 2 months later. It should have been done in 1 (uni Calendar) and could have been expediated (I actually thought they would because I actually thought they were comptent and good-natured people). But it's a 1 year program so now they don't want to say I'm done until May. But the academic year starts in late February. So they mis-processed it to make it take up 2 years.
I shouldn't have to wait 2 years while they figure out how to calculate a GPA
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:08:13
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 9:57:03
as is the case... as is always the case in my life... i can't ask friends for help with any of this. they don't know how to help. they aren't able to say (well, except Damos, who is wonderful, honestly), but none of the other guys can say they don't know... but they are an ear. or whatever.
but sometimes i need something... and i go round and round and try and see my way out of it. but i guess posting here... sometimes people do know something to say that helps. sometimes they do. and here is an opportunity for that. i guess. that's why i post stuff here, still, sometimes.
i think it probably comes down to there being cohorts wihin the intake. pre-destined for different outcomes. they aren't supposed to know that, at the intake time... but that's the way that goes down. so there are a bunch of 'special entry' categories and the idea is that basically you are bonded. we don't say they are bonded, but we just sort of brand them, really, so it's next to impossible for the to get their way out.
for example, the Maaori people have been selected because they are acceptable to Maaori people. it isn't about equity for Maaori in the sense of a kid who is Maaori and smart and wants to be a doctor in the traditional sense getting to be a doctor. I really do not think that we believe in that, at all. The idea is to select students who are acceptable to Maaori so they can better persuade the Maaori to hand over their tissue biopsy samples (to just sort of do them / get them done as a matter of course -- if people aren't screaming 'no' then consent is implied) and having their immunisations and so on...
And the rural people are supposed to be GPs in rural communities for much the same thing. Again. Acceptable to the people.
And it seems like this is the Harvard endorsed thing. We hear a lot about Harvard this and Harvard that and I think this is the idea, here.
And so these students come through... And that's I don't know... 2/3rds the intake? Maybe 1/2... And they aren't supposed to be looking to overseas... They are supposed to come through here and spend however many years working in the public hospitals for the district health boards... And then apply to be selected to train as a general practitioner in NZ. And then go off into the smaller town rural regions and have some kind of general practice or allied health practice hub thing clinic where they are on call 24/7 for all the things so people don't go to the hospitals.
And that is one vision of medicine and what being a doctor is and lots of people want to do that and so that's fine as far as it goes.
And then I suppose there are the doctors kids. That probably means the GPs kids or maybe the general surgeons kids or.. I don't know... But these kids have their sights set on specialist training. As in, working in a hospital but as head of the unit. Or maybe workin in a hospital as one of a couple people who share being head of the unit.
NZ doen't much like this... Specialists.
Administration likes to pay for administration but not for specialists and not for the treatments that specialists can provide.
I don't really know about our private practice situation.
ACC (accident) is a source of funding...
Anyway...
They do this class division thing... And people have been inquiring about how they decide how to split up the class. How they decide to divide up the cohort and say where people do their placements.
I don't know... But it seems it's about putting like with like. So if you want to be a specialist you want to stay as close to the hospitals and university as you can. It would not be considered ideal to be shipped off to the rural communities with high need populations. I mean, you would get to practice more procedures when less supervised -- but you would get less supervision so you wouldn't actually be taught how to do things in a way that would be acceptable in the civilised world...
But what would they do with me?
My high GPA comes from Philosophy. And Psychology... Which is not so relevant. I have earned A's for relevant science -- but not on a full time basis, and other students have earned A+'s. It's clear to them I'm not a rural person but it's probably not clear to them that I am a hospital person / that I would fit with that cohort.
And they are thinking that people their (and nearly my) age are investing everything they can into their kids and their kids success.. And here I come saying 'I didn't have kids - I chose to invest in me' and they really don't like that. Don't know how to handle that. Don't know how to process that.
There's the whole line on 'stages of investment' or whatever that your bank sells you. About what you are supposed to be doing... About your mind-set... At diferent life-stages. People think of it as being like stages of rolling... Standing... SPeaking... For infants. Stages of learning to drive and having a boyfriend / girlfriend and graduating college and getting married and having however many kids...
And I opted out of that. Which makes people nervous.
They worry that I won't be controllable by the usual measures. Threaten to remove the exhorbatant salary. Threaten to move someone to a location where there is no adequate school for their kids...
And just the fact that people have regrets about their own lives. Have stories about what could have been. I say the people who got chucked back... But the people who quit working for their dreams and started doing something else. And there is some level of investment, sometimes, in my not doing things. To confirm beliefs they have about their own limitations.
I don't know.
Just let me f*ck*ng do it, already.
I don't understand how NZ isn't embarrassed about it can't even tell who is capable, anymore, and about how people won't even seem to let capable people get anything done. It's all about everythign being as slooooooooooooow as we can poooooosibly maaaaaaake itttt.
There never was anything wrong with me. It's an impossible country. It's awful here. And always, the people with the power have no f*ck*ng idea what they're doing / don't see how they make things worse. But will not listen to anybody else about what is good for them or what it is tha tthey need or anything else at all.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:22:52
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:08:13
i'm not even interested in politics, at all.
but they wouldn't let me do the science. they're too busy expediating their own kids through to let other people's kids catch up on the science in enough time to get the GPA...
so i went away and did part time for a while, to catch up, for sure. i mean, if other kids have done year 11, year 12, year 13 chemistry and physics and statistics before starting univerity then if i do one physics and one statistics paper in one semester (2 courses is part time) then what is my workload really given how much of it I need to catch up myself?
and then how do you compare the grades... when i'm pulling around B+ for my efforts... but a lot of my study time is spent trying to identify and fix up whatever it is that's missing... which... i don't know... and i don't have individualised tuition. though, to be fair, the tuition we had wasn't so amazingly helpful... the courses seemed mostly to be providing, like, a hundred or so worked examples (many similar to ones the kids at the better schools had already been doing for a few years) and I would get a bit side-tracked trying to 'understand' the lecture concepts, too...
and of course it turns out that it's not so relevant for med, anyway. and physiology concepts are much more... intuitive. and interesting to me. and learnable. and not anywhere near as mathematically demanding. or notationally difficult.
but people see i can write. and i do have views. and then they want me to play their game. but i don't want to play their game. the dean is into immunisation. we have high rates of rheumatic fever. they would like to develop a vaccination for the bug that we get here...
sure...
but i feel it can be a bit like propholactic antibiotics for chickens kept in unacceptable living conditions. i mean, one solution is to keep them in better living conditions so as to eliminate the need for propholactic antibiotics.
you start wanting to give different batches of vaccines to different people to see which ones are more effective... and then it's tempting to see about all kinds of other things, too.. i mean... why stop with differnt ways the bacteria is chopped up (for example). why not experiment with other things about the medium... or... who freaking knows. that's the point. who freaking knows what.
and when the dean says publically that all that's in the vaccination is the bug that's so obviously false. i mean... bugs just aren't that big but the sample that is delivered is bigger- right? i mean just so obviously false. there is clearly other stuff in there too. what other stuff is in there too?
the people don't have the right to know?
i just...
moving away from the people... yeah...
i would like to be a surgeon. in a hospital. somewhere with equipment so things can be steralised. i understand i'll likely need to do it myself. sigh.
please nz don't be as backwards as you pretend to be, for me, so much of the time.
:(
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:28:07
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:22:52
but sure, get the people to take their shots.
'science communication' for the people, given the level of education of the people (even after they take 10 years + to do their 3 year 360 point degree) is 'there isn't anything in it except chopped up pieces of the bug!'
upload all the information to the foreign software systems. information about vaccination and batch number. information about presenting symptoms. information about prescriptions given. information about side-effects reported. uploading all the information.
thankyou very much for all your information. i'll just take a biopsy sample, and here's your shot.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:32:25
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:28:07
and the point is..
that that is the level at which things are at.
you would think there would be a rational dialogue or a discourse.
but there simply is not.
it's still the case of 'crazy anti-vacc cranks' vs 'there's only chopped up bits of the bug!'
the ethics discussion here was still the church party line on abortion.
and lots of odd talks by people who genuinely seemed to think that consent is the default unless you hear people screaming at you to stop, but even then pooh pooh rubbish rubbish most often that could and probably should be over-ridden.
and a strange one on how it would likely be better for everyone if we would not legisltate against organ sales, in this country. it would be better if people could buy and sell kidneys and like, here. instead of getting them illegally overseas.i am not interested in any of it.
it was just that i had to write the thesis for eligabilty. but now the f*ck*ng admin people who are all up in the politics think that i want to engage with them.
:(
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 15:32:14
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 11:32:25
i just hope things get sorted out for me to start this year. and i'm worried about housing. i can't get the housing transfer request moving along until i have an offer of place. and that might well involve a month living out of a cheap hotel with the people fresh out of jail, as our government likes to do... and then getting used to, likely, a different part of the city. riding a motorcycle with the crazy commuter traffic likely along motorways.
i am disappointed that my things couldn't have been processed in a timely fashion. i should have been offered an interview without my having to contact people about why i wasn't... my thesis should have been accepted (subject to changes completed in 10 weeks) in time for me to be offered a place back in December.
but instead i'm required to chase things up. there isn't official policy i can see anywhere on a procedure to follow. you talk to one person and they blow you off or send you off talking to another person. it doesn't make me feel at all good about integrity or honesty or all those things. that it seems to be so much about the whims and vagaries of people in certain positions.
anyway... whatever...
i don't really know what it is about. well, it will be something about how my grades don't count because they are in irrelevant subjects or my grades don't count becuase they were a while ago now... there is always some reason, some excuse, why i don't count. why i'm illigtimate. why all the usual things don't apply to me. i'm sick of their excuses, especially when you see where the money goes and what they choose to do with the power they've got.
i do hold some hope that things aren't quite as bad as they seem...
but it was my goal all year to have completion by December 7. And it seemed to be the universities goal all year to not do that. no matter how I worked... they simply were not going to do that, for me. they were going to take 2 academic years to process everything more slowly than normal.
so they get 1 1/2 times the money for a one year qualification, you see.
it seems to be that.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2019, at 23:25:18
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2019, at 15:32:14
maybe i can get housing transfer moving along, anyway.
i am still f*ck*ng appalled at their incompetence / corruption. it is one or the other. or one and the other.
i don't know what they think the lesson is, here.
it reminds me of some article i read years and years ago in my first course in social and moral philosophy. there was this anti-pornography lady who used to write letters to the paper and so on anti-porn. and then she was apprehended by the police for importing all this porn. and she said that it was imported by her so she could better make some sort of case against importing porn.
and there was something 'methinks the lady doth protest too much' about it.
i'm sure people here think they are teaching me some kind of lesson.
but i think, in fact, they are more likely testing the limits of their incompetence / corruption.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2019, at 23:32:29
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2019, at 23:25:18
and it could well be something about the perception of risk and pay-off structures.
you know, their kids got their places in med last year, already, and they are ready for early retirement, now.
university will smooth things over on their way out in the interests of protecting their own reputation so saudi arabian sheep farmers will still pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for certain women to train to be doctors in english speaking first world country to better look after harem girls back home...
or similar.
i don't f*ck*ng care what it is.
i am f*ck*ng sick of people treating me like i'm an idiot imbecile and totally ignoring and disregarading and rubbishing and pooh pooh poohing everything i have got to say.
these awful people who can't even tell the difference between some illiterate psychopath and someone who is educated and genuinely morally inclined.
these f*ck*ng awful people.
someone said someting about 'these are the people who will inspire and motivate you...' well go on, then, do something inspiring or motivating. or, uh, do something psychopathic and idiotic and dismissive and corrupt and, uh, see the rewards that you come by in life!
i mean, what do you want me to say????
if you want me to respect your integrity: act with integrity!
whoda thunk!
Posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 18:58:41
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2019, at 23:32:29
maybe we don't want universities, anymore. maybe we don't want medical schools. we don't seem to be either willing or able to hire people to follow the rules.
i see the only reason people accuse me of not following the rules is that they aren't following the rules. that's a thing they do. externalisation, or whatever it is. instead of doing their job according to the rules they accuse me of trying to make them do their job against the rules when i'm trying to get them to follow the rules.
you know. like, i submit an application to the medical admissions committee. so the dean thinks that he can just remove it from the pile so it doesn't go to the committee. i mean, he's a person on the committee. in fact he's the head of the committee. in fact, we may as well just say that he is the committee and so he made the decision on behalf of the committee and i would be asking him to do his job improperly if he were require to bring things to the committee for a decision instead of simply making decisions on behalf of the committee.
and then the next year an administrator decided she had the power to dump my application on behalf of the committee. becuase she decides what gets to the dean, and he decides what gets to the committee, you see? you see how it goes and how it's all just them doing their job...
so i bring that to the attention of the dean. and he doesn't like that. for obvious reasons.
apparently there are policies / procedures. to be followed. from within the university and then from outside the university, too. from the government. i guess if the university wants money from the goverment that is what that is about. and if the government wants money from... the world bank. or whomever. to try and encourage civilisation.
and apparently it is part of these that the official people are supposed to inform you of what the process is and of reasonable timeframes.
but they don't / won't. they spout garbage. tell you falsehoods. if you say something that isn't right (to kind of see whether they put you right) then they don't. They will intentionally propogate the misinformation.
and part of the problem is that there are different sources of information. instead of their being clear statements of the policy and procedure in... in the University Calendar. an obvious place to look... they will try and 'explain it so someone incapable of parsing english' can understand - which sort of defeats the purpose. they try and rephrase it - but that always involves their altering the meaning. and so you get less official university webpages spreading false information that people come to accept as the rules. like, for example, saying that people 'invariably' take more than the minimum time to complete the qualiflication (which is only the case because the administrator people refuse to work according to the timelines they are required to work within).
which isn't acceptable.
i guess the 'within the last 5 years' requirement is to ensure people have seen what the brain drain has done to NZ. or the corruption. it is hard to tell whether people intentionally profit from the ineptitute or whether it's an unintentional sort of benefiting. the incentive structures are mostly towards ineptitude for many.
if you can convince people that they are incompetent / inept / incapable and so they just stick around throwing money at you...
we shouldn't be allowed to take international students.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 19:07:07
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 18:58:41
we shouldn't be allowed to have universities if we can't play by the rules.
we wouldn't be allowed to have medical schools.
hospitals.
wait...
no kidding.
well bring on in the foreign military so the locals can have their shots and so the tourists don't get sick!
and train up a few of the locals to collect up the biopsy samples and give the people their shots.
bring on in the computer systems so all the data.. all the data.. hey what a wonderful experimental population! they don't look after each other at all! nobody will stick up for their interests!
the whole country is just tower of babble. not because people worked together especailly well and achieved anything at all. it's hard to see how the people ever will, at this rate, though.
maybe it is a mindset they are trying to teach me.
if you wait for other people to notice your competence / give you permission then that is never going to happen, here.
the only way is by forcing them to accept you. by forcing them to see that they have no grounds for not accepting you.
if they can find anything, anything, anything at all... anything at all.. anything at all... so they can get you to give up or go away or give them money or... anything at all... they can get you feeling badly about your height or your weight or your nose... they can get you feeling badly about your age or your grades or your family or your... anything at all. they can beat you because they found you alone in the corner and they had opportunity! anything at all... because they managed to accuse you of sexual harrassment or racism or sexism or being mean or anything at all... anything at all... the people just go around kick kicking at everyone they can for anything at all...
such friendly people!
tis the kiwi way!
i don't know why people choose to live like this.
awful people.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 19:23:27
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 19:07:07
apparently it's the people with power. when you get close. when you are percieved as a threat to their power. they turn nasty. so you try not to make it personal. but they likely will. anything at all. anything at all. they have the people they want the places to go to. it will never be me. anything at all anything at all anything at all. it isn't about disability or age or gender or anything systematic like that. it is just them searching about for anything at all.
i think the idea is that it makes their own look better and brighter.
there is this thing, though. this idea... whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. the idea of testing testing trial by fire.
i guess i think of the immune system. and slummy housing. does that make the immune system stronger or just wear people out and keep them down?
apparently slums do result in...
the immunologically elite.
i found that somewhere.
an old book.
mostly... i found it crappy. but that was brilliant.
the immunologically elite.
e.g., amongst an AIDS epidemic... where AIDS is endemic... you find some individuals who, despite repeated exposure, don't get sick.
the immunologically elite.
then you take up samples and so on from them. then manufacture that for people who can afford it.
without the countlessly many dying of AIDS...
you would't find the immunologically elite in a timely fashion.
you wouldn't get it to market so swiftly for the...
financially elite. i guess.
anyway...
i don't know if people are testing / showing me how to get justice in this country. i guess i have to belive they are. and that things will come through for me over the next month.
i guess things really have come to a head with respect to potentially just how f*ck*ng corrupt things may be, here.
this year...
it is as f*ck*ng clear as clear as clear can be. if i do not get offered a place it is because they did not follow their own policy / procedure. they have no grounds to deny me.
it's probably only becuase they thought my GPA wasn't good enough that htey let me do well on interview.
i heard that somewhere... people who do worse on GPA tend to do better on interview.
it will be interesting to see who did get in via supposedly 'competitive' routes. more particularly, just how much of a whos whos kid it is. and what school they went to. i'm sure they taught them to keep their head down...
i could care less. i just want to get on with the f*ck*ng job, already.
i guess it is teaching me to find the policy that (when followed) gets things to teh highest level people the fastest. because most admin people are not so competent and they waste your time.
it is a surprise to me, genuinely, how many people seem to find reading / following policy / procedure to be hard.
i do know this is why we don't have more operations and so on in the public sector.
wash your hands.
doesn't happen. and that's just the start.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 19:49:11
In reply to Re: admin, posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2019, at 23:32:29
And it's just an awful situation, all around.
I suspect they think they don't need to follow the rules because I've gamed the system somehow in retaining my GPA over the years, despite the very best efforts of Auckland and Otago and WELTEC to ruin my GPA.
Only, what I did was what I was required to do to retain my GPA.
And I think it was actually that they attempted to act against the interests of the people / society by attempting to set up rules that would swiftly and irrevokably cull out people who weren't in the know about the way things are.
The way things are... Being that first year at University (for Med entry) is designed so as to be mostly revision for people who went to good schools and did science there, and mostly impossible for people who did not.
The way things are... Being that there is no way for students who did not go to good schools and do science there... To do those things so as to have the opportunity later in life.
There is no do over.
Unless...
Unless you study part time. Because part time status doesn't count for your GPA. Becuase you could just do 1 course and get an A+ and have a 9.0.
But the flip-side of that is that part time status doesn't count for your GPA. So if they are going to fail you for a course then you drop back to part-time status. So they can't give you a fail for one course which irrevokably f*cks up your GPA.
I wish the system wasn't the way it is. With trying to scam people. With not providing people with a genuine pathway so that they have the opportunity to earn competitive entry to a degree that is supposed to be competitive entry and merit based.
Unfortunately, it's just a competitive entry degree for the kids of people in the know who are basically purchasing the cheapest medical degree in the english speaking world they can for their kids -- largely because the government picks up the bulk of the bill. that means they can save their college fund to get their 19 or 20 year old undergraduate kid sitting the Step 1 (after 2 years at med school). saving for the other steps and so on...
But not having to pay for a US college undergraduate degree.
Or graduate entry Medical degree.But that's the 'best' kids NZ was able to put forwards for match, you see.
Mostly by way of kicking at and preventing everyone else.
Especially those with genuine merit.
Who didn't get non-aborted earlier in the system.
You see?
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