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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan J on January 1, 2004, at 13:28:42
I dunno if this is the right place to post or not, but this has been on my mind for the past year or so.
I was baptised an Episcopalian, but my mother never really took me to church because she had agoraphobia issues and couldn't sit still in the church without having severe panic attacks. So I grew up believing in God, but have no real schooling or background in religion.
I've had, my whole adult life, a very strong belief in God and pray daily. But in the past year, when the depression hurt so horribly, and I lost *hope* that something in the future would somehow at least *ease* my pain, my belief in God faltered.
Can anyone explain in a religious context why we suffer from depression? Is it because I did something horrible in my life and I'm being punished? Generally I think bad experiences offer us an opportunity to learn, and I can deal with that. So a bout of depression would make sense to me.....but *ongoing depression with no end in sight?* I don't know what to make of that.
With the loss of hope that a future might be easier, anything I learn now seems almost pointless because I do not have the power or strength to either help others or even help myself. I think everyone is here on this earth for a purpose. So what is mine? I have not had children so I'm not here to procreate. At this point, I think it would be cruel to pass on my genes....
Why does my belief in God disappear or at least falter when I have lost all hope? And the loss of hope is a *direct* result of the depression, I know that for a fact. And a lack of belief in God in itself depresses me further because it gets rid of my whole *idea* of what life is about and what it offers and what it requires and how I should contribute to this planet, even if it's in only a tiny way.
Help?
Susan
Posted by TF on January 1, 2004, at 15:56:12
In reply to God and depression, posted by Susan J on January 1, 2004, at 13:28:42
Please don't take my advice or insights too seriously, as they're full of self evidence and observations that I've made over the years. It may or may not apply to other people.
I think a major reason that people get depressed is that they feel isolated somehow, or that they feel as though they've been separated from something important that they either owned, interacted with religiously, or had an abstract connection with, which was never validated. It comes naturally that when we tie ourselves to things, which are impermanent, that we eventually feel or anticipate the loss of said things. This can result in depression if we don't know how to cope or just don't have the capacity to do so.
It's my opinion that God is impermanent. That he's a cosmic force that transcends every time, place, person and emotion. He isn't a thing, nor even an entity or person. To me, He's a connection to every other living and non-living thing in the universe. The means by which we, and everything inbetween, interact(s) with the world.
This may sound arrogant, but I believe that many people classified him as an entity so he could fit into their narrow perception of the world. It was their way of spoon-feeding the idea of God to less evolved people so that they could get across the important moral messages that they had discovered. There's nothing wrong with doing this, since the truth is there irregardless of the specifics. It doesn't matter whether or not you consider God to be one entity or not. One way or the other is fine. The implication that he is a cosmic force was and is always there, and that's all anyone really needs. If they want to ponder the nature of God and push their understanding to the next level, that their perogative.
Errr... I got off on a tangent there, didn't I?
Basically, my thoughts on God in relation to depression are a bit confused... I can't really do them justice in words. I just don't have much talent for explaining myself, but I'll try. I subscribe to the belief that the devil is in ourselves, or actually is a cosmic representation of our selves. God is the connection between each being and object, the way they interact and so forth. I think that when we become tied up in the illusion of the self and thus pride along with all of the things we attribute to ourselves, we become the devil's personal punching bag and are left completely vulnerable to 'his' negativity and our own self-judgement.
As for a way to avoid this fate, I'm still looking. If someone has further insights or criticisms/corrections to my beliefs I'd welcome them.
Heheh, as for your reluctance to procreate, I can totally relate. I'm constantly questioning the quality of my genes and thus the importance of having children to pass on those genes. I look at myself and my family and think 'Oh God, are you trying to tell me something?'. Not to say that my family is a complete waste of oxygen. There are just a few bad apples that might make it worth my while to withold our genetic code (especially including myself).
Posted by simus on January 1, 2004, at 16:25:36
In reply to God and depression, posted by Susan J on January 1, 2004, at 13:28:42
Susan,
From your post, it sounds as if your depression is an inherited brain chemical condition, no different than an inherited predisposition to diabeted or heart disease, etc. Have you sought medical help?
As far as your question about why you have depression, no, God is not punishing you. I will attach a copy of my previous post to a fellow-sufferer. (Forgive the repitition to all who have already read this.)
"God's will for you to be ill, mentally or otherwise. God sent His beloved son to die for you, not just for your eternal salvation, but also so that you can have "life more abundant" here on earth. "He was bruised for your iniquities, the chastisement of your peace was upon Him, and by His stripes you are healed." I don't begin to understand why some people are instantly healed, and others go through a healing process. God didn't keep Daniel out of the lion's den, but he did close the mouths of the lions so they couldn't hurt him. God didn't keep the three Hebrew boys out of the fiery furnace, but He not only kept them from burning, He got in the furnace with them. And God didn't send a bolt of lightening to kill Goliath. He let little David fling a stone and a lot of faith to take the giant down. I don't know why it took 40 years for the Israelites to get to the Promised Land, but they did get there.
I can't answer why you are going through what you are, but I can assure you it isn't from God. It was satan who came to "kill, steal, and destroy." It is satan who is "seeking who he can devour." God can not only deliver you out of this, but He can use it to your good and to the good of others.
My heart goes out to you. My best advise is to find a good church, not a "religious" church, but a real, Bible-believing full-of-faith church to help you in this journey. When your faith is weak, they can pull you through."
God bless you.
Posted by AntiTrust on January 2, 2004, at 16:18:24
In reply to Re: God and depression, posted by TF on January 1, 2004, at 15:56:12
I think a major reason that people get depressed is that they feel isolated somehow, or that they feel as though they've been separated from something important that they either owned, interacted with religiously, or had an abstract connection with, which was never validated. It comes naturally that when we tie ourselves to things, which are impermanent, that we eventually feel or anticipate the loss of said things. This can result in depression if we don't know how to cope or just don't have the capacity to do so.
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your statement above makes sense to me, and I agree, but have to add that the imbalance of all these darn chemicals in our brains is also to blame. why some have dieases and some dont...that I can not answer.
Posted by AntiTrust on January 2, 2004, at 16:21:41
In reply to Re: God and depression, posted by simus on January 1, 2004, at 16:25:36
I can't answer why you are going through what you are, but I can assure you it isn't from God. It was satan who came to "kill, steal, and destroy." It is satan who is "seeking who he can devour." God can not only deliver you out of this, but He can use it to your good and to the good of others.
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So the weak are attacked? (sorry brain fart here)
Why are the weak attacked??? why US?
why me?
Posted by simus on January 3, 2004, at 0:04:13
In reply to Re: God and depression » simus, posted by AntiTrust on January 2, 2004, at 16:21:41
I used to wonder "Why me?", and still do on occasion. I regularly have to take a good look around and see what other people deal with: cancer, poverty, war, etc., and it makes me more grateful for what I do have. No one is immune from attack, and I don't know if anyone can live their entire lifetime without something to deal with.
I don't mean to belittle what you are going through. I know how discouraging this battle is. I face it daily too. Some days I am braver and stronger, some days I just want to throw in the towel. I don't have all the answers you are looking for. I wish I did. I just want to encourage you to not give up.
Looking back, I am glad that I battled it out this far. I have two young daughters that would have not only grown up without a mother, but they would have had to live with the shame of their mother taking her life. There are many other things that I have done since that have made a positive impact. This may sound corny, but this holiday season I was watching "It's a Wonderful Life", and it had a whole new meaning to me. I imagined what things would have been like if I hadn't been here the past eight years. Even little things, like the joy of helping friends find jobs who had families to support, and befriending the terminally ill. It didn't seem like much to me at the time, but when the families of these people told me through tears how much what I did meant to them, it made it all worth while. So...hang in there. You have a future and a destiny in Christ. Search for it, and your life will be full and rich, and full of times of great joy and peace.
God bless.
Posted by rayww on January 3, 2004, at 20:44:09
In reply to God and depression, posted by Susan J on January 1, 2004, at 13:28:42
When I read your post I see God right beside you in your thoughts providing the answers as you ask the questions.
Depression is difficult to understand when we can't see the whole picture, but if we could, things might fall more into perspective for us. Maybe the time we spend on earth is minute compared to where we've been and where we're going. Perhaps we are sent here to be tried and tested, to see what fabric we are truly made of.
By your last statement about making a difference, "even if it's only in a tiny way", it appears that if we can just ask the questions, we may get the answers.
I believe God stays especially close to us in our depressions, that we can use that time to get to know God. Some people think the incomprehensible God lives in an unreachable place, but I think he lives in the trenches, and meets us at the bottom of our bottomless pit. I firmly believe we can use our depression, or other disorders to draw especially close to God. Even spiritual peaks can surprise us during these times. Never doubt it is possible. And try to keep asking questions.
Posted by Susan J on January 4, 2004, at 10:17:48
In reply to Re: God and depression » Susan J, posted by rayww on January 3, 2004, at 20:44:09
Thank you all for responding. You have all given me some new ways to look at things. :-) I'm still struggling with it, but I guess that's the way it goes....
Hugs,
Susan
This is the end of the thread.
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