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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 109 to 133 of 255. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2005, at 13:33:51
In reply to Re: Okay, read the whole thread first, GG! » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 9:21:25
Well thank goodness for Risperdal, then. I'm nervous, too. And excited. It's a bit daunting to think that we have these images of folks, and we will have them altered in some fundamental way when we meet in person. For example, I always think of KK as a blonde, but she informed me she was brunette. I just can't put that together. If I ever met her, I suppose I would have to give up my image of her as blonde.
And your T going on vacation, oy! Bad timing. Unless you want to pretend that he is coming to Chicago to watch over you from a safe distance? (But not allow you to see him, of course!)
:)
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on May 30, 2005, at 16:29:30
In reply to Alexandra, posted by Dinah on May 29, 2005, at 20:36:27
But we want to meet you!
If you are still angry we can skip dinner. I promise not to leave you hanging there by yourself.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 30, 2005, at 19:00:28
In reply to Re: publicly viewable » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on May 28, 2005, at 17:41:04
> It reminded me forcefully of a reply in a presidential debate.
I find the request-(it's rarely a mere suggestion) "choose to focus" to be condescending and a bit silly. I can see where it could be useful if someone knows one very well, like a therapist, and they see a continued pattern of unhealthy focus. However when it's used by people in specific situations I would find it would offend me far less if the euphemistic *choose* was left out. After all how can one advise someone else what they should *choose?*
It reminds me of Henry Ford saying you can paint your car any color you want as long as it's black.
>
>
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:12:27
In reply to Re: publicly viewable » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 30, 2005, at 19:00:28
I have a fair amount to say on the matter, but I think I'll wait a week. :)
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:15:00
In reply to Re: Okay, read the whole thread first, GG!, posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2005, at 13:33:51
I like that thought! I think I can manage it. He's hiding right out of sight.
At least he'll be there the next Monday.
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:16:28
In reply to Re: Okay, read the whole thread first, GG!, posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2005, at 13:33:51
I don't think I have images of people in terms of color of hair, or how tall they are. But I definitely have images of their styles. As you say, I might really have to make some major adjustments.
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:18:42
In reply to Re: Alexandra » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on May 30, 2005, at 16:29:30
My husband's response to my desire to cancel was so extreme that I think I'm even more afraid to stay home. :)
Good to know you guys will be there to bolster my flagging confidence.
And I'll just mostly avoid Admin. It's only another three days. Eeeek!
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 30, 2005, at 20:23:08
In reply to Re: publicly viewable » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:12:27
I was not thinking!!!!
Oh I feel so terrible. I did NOT Think about drawing you in.
I wasn't thinking about the whole concept, just the expression, and well..Oh I'm sorry.
No need to reply.
Posted by henrietta on May 30, 2005, at 20:24:26
In reply to Re: publicly viewable, posted by alexandra_k on May 29, 2005, at 20:06:17
Just feel like giving you a big hug, so I will!
(((((Alex)))))
hen
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 20:28:15
In reply to I'm so sorry! » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 30, 2005, at 20:23:08
I appreciate your post. I'm just being careful where I reply.
No need to apologize *at all*.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 30, 2005, at 21:14:10
In reply to Re: publicly viewable » alexandra_k, posted by henrietta on May 30, 2005, at 20:24:26
I appreciate that.
You have one yourself :-)(((hen)))
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 22:02:41
In reply to Re: Thanks » henrietta, posted by alexandra_k on May 30, 2005, at 21:14:10
I'm stressed about any number of things right now, many completely unrelated to Babble. Including going off a much needed mood stabilizer so that my system can be clean for another one in late June.
I blew up, and I'm sorry for that. I really try hard not to blow up at fellow posters. And I'll try really hard not to do it again.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 30, 2005, at 22:04:25
In reply to Alexandra, I apologize, posted by Dinah on May 30, 2005, at 22:02:41
Thats ok.
I've blown up on admin before.
I understand.(((Dinah)))
You take care of yourself.
Posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 9:57:32
In reply to Re: publicly viewable, posted by alexandra_k on May 29, 2005, at 20:06:17
Just my 2c
>>>Most people who are against small boards already feel included on the main Babble boards. They are worried about feeling excluded from the small Babble boards.
I'm not "worried" about feeling excluded, as I don't want to be included in the first place. To me (remember, this is just *to me*) being excluded from a small group would be much like being excluded from a Mexican prison.
>>>>So one way to see it is to focus on those who will feel excluded if there are small boards.>>>>But another way to see it is to focus on those who do feel excluded currently on the main boards.
There is a difference here, you know. On the current boards no one is *physically* excluded.
Where, on the small boards there *would be* a physical exclusion. period.
One is fact, the other is perception.
Apples and oranges.
>>>But what about the people who don't feel included on the main Babble boards? They may feel included on the small Babble boards.>>>So by creating small boards more people may get that feeling of inclusion...
Is this true? I had a hard time at first, believe me. For a while I felt ignored. Then, by accident of timing, I was taken to be a troll. If the option of small boards had been there I might have joined one - and then I would have quit trying on the other boards.
Sure I would have felt included more at first. But in the long run it would have paled in comparison to what I have now.
So - to sum it up - I don't "resent" the idea of small boards, I wouldn't feel "excluded" or "envious" or any of those other things. I just don't like them on principle, and I don't (personally) think they would be good for babble.
Posted by Minnie-Haha on May 31, 2005, at 12:59:51
In reply to Re: my two cents » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 9:57:32
> > Most people who are against small boards already feel included on the main Babble boards. They are worried about feeling excluded from the small Babble boards.
>
> I'm not "worried" about feeling excluded, as I don't want to be included in the first place. To me (remember, this is just *to me*) being excluded from a small group would be much like being excluded from a Mexican prison.I think Alex made some good points in the post you're referring to. I could see how some might disagree with the assumption that most people who are against small boards are worried about feeling excluded from smaller Babble boards, but I think there's is truth behind the argument that most people who are against small boards already feel included in the existing, larger Babble boards.
I also don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I felt offended by the notion that being included in a smaller group would be like being in a "Mexican prison" (by which I guess you mean a completely distasteful place by ALL accounts, since no healthy, happy person wants to be in any prison). This is the kind of attitude I ran into when I started my Babble women’s group and it baffled me that such emotion was directed toward the idea of such a group.
> > So one way to see it is to focus on those who will feel excluded if there are small boards. But another way to see it is to focus on those who do feel excluded currently on the main boards.
>
> There is a difference here, you know. On the current boards no one is *physically* excluded.
> Where, on the small boards there *would be* a physical exclusion. period.
>
> One is fact, the other is perception.It is exactly perception, even the idea that Psycho-Babble is infinitely inclusive. It is a support and education resource for the mentally ill. You have to register to participate fully, though non-members can listen in all they want (if they have access to the Internet). And I doubt that the system Bob uses could handle it if every person on the planet tried to register, so actually there are physical limits here too.
I see the difference as how some people might feel at a large convention. Perhaps when the group/convention started out, it was much smaller. In the beginning, the group was small enough for the members to get to know each other pretty well. That doesn’t mean they all like each other, but when they communicate, they’ve got that foundation. And they get to know new members as they join in. And this might work pretty well while the group measured in the dozens. But once it hits hundreds or thousands – well, there are some people who would walk into that convention hall and turn right around and walk back out. And there would be some in that convention hall (some old-timers and some newbies too) who would eventually be overwhelmed by the size of it all too. They’d look for a smaller room to meet in. And that room would only accommodate so many people. But as some wandered out, others would be welcome to wander in. I don’t see it as uncivil that some might want to meet in a smaller group, unless they get selective about who can come in.
> > But what about the people who don't feel included on the main Babble boards? They may feel included on the small Babble boards.
>
> Is this true? I had a hard time at first, believe me. For a while I felt ignored. Then, by accident of timing, I was taken to be a troll. If the option of small boards had been there I might have joined one – and then I would have quit trying on the other boards.
>
> Sure I would have felt included more at first. But in the long run it would have paled in comparison to what I have now.Does one have to suffer being ignored and misunderstood before becoming a bona fide member of the group? And isn't it possible that after being a member of a smaller board, some might feel more courageous about posting on larger ones?
> So - to sum it up - I don't "resent" the idea of small boards, I wouldn't feel "excluded" or "envious" or any of those other things. I just don't like them on principle, and I don't (personally) think they would be good for babble.
But are they necessarily *bad* for Babble? To me, it seems trying them out would be no worse than all the discord that's surrounding the debate. People have threatened to leave and predicted that Babble will die, or never be the same, if smaller groups (change) are “allowed” to happen. But change, IMO, is inevitable, especially when a group has grown to the size of this one. (The group HAS changed.) People will continue to feel excluded and misunderstood (like you and I and many others have) regardless of the structure. The key thing is getting the rules into place to minimize that as much as possible, IMO.
Posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 13:37:43
In reply to Re: publicly viewable, posted by alexandra_k on May 29, 2005, at 20:06:17
Alex - I didn't mean to imply that I think the small boards would be equivalent to a prison. I only meant that *to me* they would be about as desirable.
I certainly didn't mean to imply that I would have any hard feelings towards - or think any less of - anyone that desires them. I was only trying to show that I wouldn't *feel* excluded.
I'm sorry it probably didn't come out right.
Posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 13:47:26
In reply to Re: my two cents, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 31, 2005, at 12:59:51
No - sorry about that. We crossed posts, it seems.
I realized later that some people might think I was equating the two. That is not what I intended - I was must trying to come up with an example to show that I wouldn't feel excluded.
I was really talking about my personal feelings of *not* feeling excluded - because I didn't want to join anyway. I didn't mean to put down people that *would* want to join.
As near as I can tell, the issue has been decided already and there isn't any point in going further with any debate. I just was trying to have a friendly logical sparring match with Alex.
I'm sorry I offended you.
Posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 13:59:26
In reply to Re: my two cents, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 31, 2005, at 12:59:51
"Does one have to suffer being ignored and misunderstood before becoming a bona fide member of the group?"
Hopefully not. I wasn't exactly *being* ignored when I started. It just *felt* like I was being ignored.
Why? Not the group's fault. I only tentatively posted at first - and then if someone didn't answer me I would sulk for a while and then - days later - try again. It was totally me being too sensitive. Apparently my social phobia extended to the net.
I have a lot of sympathy (empathy?) for those feeling the same way. I wish I knew how to fix it.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 31, 2005, at 14:42:46
In reply to Re: my two cents » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 9:57:32
Ditto for me there Auntie Mel. Honestly, call me self-centred, but not feeling included on the smaller boards never even occured to me.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 31, 2005, at 14:47:15
In reply to Re: my two cents, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 31, 2005, at 12:59:51
This is the kind of attitude I ran into when I started my Babble women’s group and it baffled me that such emotion was directed toward the idea of such a group.
> I got that Aunti Mel was not equating small boards with Mexican prisons, but using the analogy to compare her lack of desire to be included in either. However, I too, couldn't understand the emotion directed toward your invitation to the PsychoBabble sisters. I meant to mention it to you actually, I did notice.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 15:11:47
In reply to Re: my two cents » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on May 31, 2005, at 9:57:32
Hello :-)
I didn't take offense from the mexican prison idea - so don't worry about that.I quite liked Minnie's response.
You are strong.
You managed to battle on and continue to post *despite* how hard you found it to start with.But what I worry about is the people who just aren't that strong.
The people who do leave.
The people who don't even post because they are daunted by the huge number of posters here.
I think feelings of inclusion / exclusion are a matter of perception either way.
My understanding (though maybe I'm wrong...) Is that there will be as many small boards as people who want to post to them.
So... Everybody can be a member of a small board if they like...
Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 15:15:50
In reply to Re: my two cents, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 31, 2005, at 12:59:51
:-)
Thanks.
I thought you made some good points too.
I think that one of the reasons why people didn't like the idea of the womens group was because of where the conversation was at re small boards over here at the time.
People saw the womens group as something of a 'small board' and so you got a fair wack of that directed your way.
The main reason I had for not joining... Was that I like the civility rules here. I think they work to protect me. I wasn't too sure about how that was going to go and about how people were going to be dealt with (should problems arise) on your board.
But I'm sorry it didn't work out :-(
And I'm sorry about that other thread (again...):-)
Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 15:17:17
In reply to Re: my two cents » AuntieMel, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 31, 2005, at 14:42:46
Good morning Gabbi!
How are you today???
Sorry. I just dragged myself out of bed...
Must have coffee...
But wanted to say hello:-)
I wish I could think of a joke..
Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 15:18:36
In reply to Re: my two cents » Minnie-Haha, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 31, 2005, at 14:47:15
Oh.
I liked your explanation of the mexican prison analogy..
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 31, 2005, at 15:36:40
In reply to Re: my two cents » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 15:17:17
Morning Alex.
Trying to post before you have coffee is a bit of a joke isn't it? I can't even *make* my coffee before I have coffee and that's a conundrum.
Thanks
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