Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 441543

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Re: right, first come, first serve

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 8:58:38

In reply to What if first come, first serve??? » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on February 7, 2005, at 16:03:44

> In that case, what's the point? I doubt if it would be all that cozy.

The point would be to limit its size. Why don't you think it would be very cozy?

Bob

 

Re: Alexandra

Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 9:17:16

In reply to Re: blocked for week » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 8:58:03

You've got my email address, and I answered you on Relationships.

 

Re: right, first come, first serve » Dr. Bob

Posted by AuntieMel on February 8, 2005, at 10:51:23

In reply to Re: right, first come, first serve, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 8:58:38

Gee, Dr. Bob. Let's think about that.

The great thing about the 2000 board is that the people that can post there all have a long history together.

But that's not something that can be recreated, as nice as that might sound.

Even then, there was not a finite number of people that could join. It was just the way things developed that it started small and then grew.

First-come-first-served is (to me) the same as saying that my house is only so large, so my kids can visit but the grandkids or their kids can't come over. Even if one of my kids is temporarily out of town - because they will come back.

But to the coziness question? How can anyone feel cozy if there is someone that wants to join but they just-don't-fit-so-tough-luck-even-though-everyone-likes-you?

I know I couldn't. And I wouldn't want to get cozy with anyone that could.

 

Re: I'll tag you » Dinah

Posted by AuntieMel on February 8, 2005, at 10:56:46

In reply to I'll tag you » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2005, at 20:25:45

You speak perfectly good English. Quite articulate actually.

And, thank you so much for asking, I *am* feeling better. But the mess isn't near sorted out. In fact the trip, except for showing support, was pretty much useless. Court: Come back March 3, goodbye. School: Here's the way the judicial review works, goodbye. The only thing accomplished was shedding myself of a few hundred dollars I apparently didn't need.

And the bird is still in the freezer. I've decided I'll keep her there in case I get hungry....

At least I can laugh about it now.

 

Re: I'll raise you one » gardenergirl

Posted by AuntieMel on February 8, 2005, at 10:58:12

In reply to Re: I'll tag you, posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2005, at 22:59:25

How about a separate (expandable) room for those that think there should be no walls.

 

Re: I'll tag you » gardenergirl

Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 8, 2005, at 17:31:37

In reply to Re: I'll tag you, posted by gardenergirl on February 7, 2005, at 22:59:25

> I think the Star-bellied Sneech room is the best on the board.
>
> Any other Sneeches with stars on their bellies?
>
> gg

Hey! Did you just figure that out your clever self or did you know that Dr. Seuss wrote "One Fish Two Fish" with Racism, specifically Anti-Semitism in mind?

 

Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read.

Posted by Jai Narayan on February 8, 2005, at 19:00:22

In reply to Re: blocked for week » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 8:58:03

I tried to email you but I guess since you were blocked I couldn't even babble email you.
bummmmmmmer.
Okay what I said.
I really care about you and hope your are alright.
I miss you on babble and wish I could chat with you.
in the future...I want your other email.
thinking of you dear person.

Jai

 

Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read.

Posted by Mark H. on February 8, 2005, at 19:44:53

In reply to Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read., posted by Jai Narayan on February 8, 2005, at 19:00:22

Ditto.

MH

 

Re: unblocked » alexandra_k

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 19:54:41

In reply to Re: blocked for week » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 8:58:03

> she asked you not to post to her, so I'm going to block you from posting for a week.

Oops, I didn't realize this was what I'd already addressed:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/452117.html

Sorry!

Bob

 

Re: let's keep it administrative here, thanks (nm)

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 19:55:14

In reply to Re: I'll tag you » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 8, 2005, at 17:31:37

 

Re: Thanks! :-) (nm) » Dr. Bob

Posted by alexandra_k on February 8, 2005, at 19:57:13

In reply to Re: unblocked » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 19:54:41

 

Re: my house is only so large

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 20:15:03

In reply to Re: I'll raise you one » gardenergirl, posted by AuntieMel on February 8, 2005, at 10:58:12

> The great thing about the 2000 board is that the people that can post there all have a long history together.
>
> But that's not something that can be recreated, as nice as that might sound.
>
> Even then, there was not a finite number of people that could join. It was just the way things developed that it started small and then grew.

That would be a difference, yes, but still each of them could start small and then grow...

> First-come-first-served is (to me) the same as saying that my house is only so large, so my kids can visit but the grandkids or their kids can't come over. Even if one of my kids is temporarily out of town - because they will come back.

OK, your house is in fact only so large, right?

We could have going out of town open up a spot... And you could go out if you wanted to have a larger get-together?

> But to the coziness question? How can anyone feel cozy if there is someone that wants to join but they just-don't-fit-so-tough-luck-even-though-everyone-likes-you?

It's not just tough luck, they could join another cozy room.

Is there anxiety is that some smaller boards would be "better" than others? That one might miss out? Or feel guilty if it their board were one of them?

> I wouldn't want to get cozy with anyone that could.

Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.

> How about a separate (expandable) room for those that think there should be no walls.

How would that be different from Social?

Bob

 

Re: my house is only so large » Dr. Bob

Posted by partlycloudy on February 9, 2005, at 6:46:17

In reply to Re: my house is only so large, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 20:15:03

Dr Bob, why do you feel we need more and smaller (read restrictive, though I dislike the concept for the reasons others have voiced) boards, again? Is it because the ones we have are getting so large (lots of threads, and long ones)?

pc

 

Re: my house - hang on a second » Dr. Bob

Posted by AuntieMel on February 9, 2005, at 12:37:51

In reply to Re: my house is only so large, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 20:15:03

First start with :

> > I wouldn't want to get cozy with anyone that could.
>
> Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.

By "get cozy" I mean "be in a cozy room with." All I said was I wouldn't want to share that cozy room with someone that didn't mind that others couldn't come in. I still stand by that.

BUT!!!!! That doesn't mean that I think that this person would be a bad person or that I wouldn't respect their feelings. And I would happily socialize with them outside the room. But I don't see anything insensitive about saying - in essence - "I wouldn't want to {be in a 'cozy' room with}
anyone that could {feel cozy with not allowing someone in.} I'm talking about how I feel, not anyone else.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


> > Even then, there was not a finite number of people that could join. It was just the way things developed that it started small and then grew.
>
> That would be a difference, yes, but still each of them could start small and then grow...
>

Well, actually they can't keep growing, can they? Isn't that the point?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> > First-come-first-served is (to me) the same as saying that my house is only so large, so my kids can visit but the grandkids or their kids can't come over. Even if one of my kids is temporarily out of town - because they will come back.
>
> OK, your house is in fact only so large, right?
>
> We could have going out of town open up a spot... And you could go out if you wanted to have a larger get-together?
>

An out-of-town opening would only be temporary, right? So that person would get kicked out when the first person comes back? That sounds (to me) a lot like "gee, nice seeing ya, but you were only a visitor, so don't let the door hit ya..."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> > But to the coziness question? How can anyone feel cozy if there is someone that wants to join but they just-don't-fit-so-tough-luck-even-though-everyone-likes-you?
>
> It's not just tough luck, they could join another cozy room.
>
> Is there anxiety is that some smaller boards would be "better" than others? That one might miss out? Or feel guilty if it their board were one of them?
>

Well, actually, as one who was shoved into a "small town" environment {I was in third grade and had experienced better} where only third generation townies were accepted {this applied to the kids, too} I know only too well what it feels like to be on the outside looking in.

I swore that I wouldn't do that to others, or pre-judge anyone. So - for me ------ It's the principle!!!!! ------

But now that you mention it... crudely borrowing from Orwell, I *do* envision "All cozy rooms are created equal. But some cozy rooms are more equal than others."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> > How about a separate (expandable) room for those that think there should be no walls.
>
> How would that be different from Social?
>

What's wrong with social?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And about the house - sure it's finite in size. But you wouldn't know it - I can always squeeze in more. One time, BD, I had a backyard BBQ and hubby comes home and says 'I hope you don't mind but I invited about 20-30 people and their spouses.' My answer? 'I guess I can't fuss at you 'cause I just did the same thing.'

Most of them showed up.

Mel

 

Re: unblocked - Thank you for that (nm) » Dr. Bob

Posted by AuntieMel on February 9, 2005, at 12:39:12

In reply to Re: unblocked » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 19:54:41

 

Re: cost / benefit analysis

Posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2005, at 21:49:31

In reply to Re: unblocked - Thank you for that (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on February 9, 2005, at 12:39:12

Potential actions are evaluated as justified or not in terms of their costs and benefits, where these indicate values, positive or negative, that need not be measurable monetarily (that is they may be moral or aesthetic values, or some other for which the question of price may be inapplicable).

Expected value

Let O1, O2... be the possible outcomes of an action A; let V(O) be the value (cost or benefit) of each outcome O, and let P(O) be the probability of each outcome (given that action A was performed). Then the *expected value* of an action A is:

[ P(O1) X V(O1) ] + [ P(O2) X V(O2) ] + ...

Hmm. I guess thats ok as far as it goes
But as is typically the case it remains silent on what interests us the most
(ie how to comparatively weight the values of the outcomes...)

 

Re: cost / benefit analysis

Posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2005, at 21:57:25

In reply to Re: cost / benefit analysis, posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2005, at 21:49:31

Above from "Critical Thinking: A concise guide"

 

Re: let's keep it administrative here, thanks

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2005, at 22:09:05

In reply to Re: let's keep it administrative here, thanks (nm), posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 19:55:14

> let's keep it administrative here, thanks

Here's a link for other posts:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050205/msgs/455727.html

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: my backyard

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2005, at 23:17:59

In reply to Re: my house - hang on a second » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on February 9, 2005, at 12:37:51

> Dr Bob, why do you feel we need more and smaller ... boards, again? Is it because the ones we have are getting so large (lots of threads, and long ones)?
>
> pc

I haven't meant to imply that I think anyone in particular "needs" anything. But I do think some people might like cozier options. One size doesn't fit all?

----

> > > I wouldn't want to get cozy with anyone that could.
> >
> > Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
>
> I don't see anything insensitive about saying - in essence - "I wouldn't want to {be in a 'cozy' room with} anyone that could {feel cozy with not allowing someone in.} I'm talking about how I feel, not anyone else.

It's fine for you to feel that way, but I'm afraid posting it could lead someone to feel accused or put down, so could you please not?

> ++++
>
> > > Even then, there was not a finite number of people that could join. It was just the way things developed that it started small and then grew.
> >
> > That would be a difference, yes, but still each of them could start small and then grow...
>
> Well, actually they can't keep growing, can they? Isn't that the point?

They could keep growing to the size of 2000...

> ++++
>
> > We could have going out of town open up a spot...
>
> An out-of-town opening would only be temporary, right?

We could have it be permanent...

> ++++
>
> Well, actually, as one who was shoved into a "small town" environment {I was in third grade and had experienced better} where only third generation townies were accepted {this applied to the kids, too} I know only too well what it feels like to be on the outside looking in.
>
> I swore that I wouldn't do that to others, or pre-judge anyone.

Thanks for reflecting on experiences that may be playing a role in how you're reacting to this.

1. No one here would be shoved anywhere. Or pre-judged.

2. I think people here would be more accepting than the people there were.

3. If you don't want to do that to others, don't. Be supportive of everyone on your small town board. :-)

4. Was that town growing?

> But now that you mention it... crudely borrowing from Orwell, I *do* envision "All cozy rooms are created equal. But some cozy rooms are more equal than others."

And what would make some more equal?

> ++++
>
> > > How about a separate (expandable) room for those that think there should be no walls.
> >
> > How would that be different from Social?
>
> What's wrong with social?

I didn't mean to imply anything was wrong with Social, I just meant we already have an expandable room...

> ++++
>
> And about the house - sure it's finite in size. But you wouldn't know it - I can always squeeze in more. One time, BD, I had a backyard BBQ and hubby comes home and says 'I hope you don't mind but I invited about 20-30 people and their spouses.' My answer? 'I guess I can't fuss at you 'cause I just did the same thing.'
>
> Most of them showed up.
>
> Mel

1. Was it cozy?

2. What if it had been 200-300?

Bob

 

Re: my backyard » Dr. Bob

Posted by AuntieMel on February 10, 2005, at 9:14:40

In reply to Re: my backyard, posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2005, at 23:17:59

>>> so could you please not?

Sure. It's not important enough to scrap over. And if anyone took offence I'm very sorry - it certainly wasn't my intention.

+++++++++++++++++++

>> An out-of-town opening would only be temporary, right?

>We could have it be permanent...

Hmmmmm.. and if another went oug of town, and the new permanent person went out of town, and so on and so on.

An end run around the finite size???

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>> But now that you mention it... crudely borrowing from Orwell, I *do* envision "All cozy rooms are created equal. But some cozy rooms are more equal than others."

>And what would make some more equal?

The nature of the beast. Especially if it's some semi-random group of people. In some houses you would have the Cleavers. In others you'd end up with the Osbornes. What if poor June ends up sharing a house with the Osbornes?

Or if you know you're a Cleaver but the only house with space is the Osbornes? The Osbornes might be perfectly happy the way things are, but to a Cleaver it might look "less equal."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>> And about the house - sure it's finite in size. But you wouldn't know it - I can always squeeze in more. One time, BD, I had a backyard BBQ and hubby comes home and says 'I hope you don't mind but I invited about 20-30 people and their spouses.' My answer? 'I guess I can't fuss at you 'cause I just did the same thing.'
>>
>> Most of them showed up.

>1. Was it cozy?

------------- It was very cozy. And there was a bit of rain so for a while everyone was inside.

>2. What if it had been 200-300?

------------- First I'd make sure all the neighbors knew they could come over, too (so they wouldn't complain.) Then I'd have gone out for another keg or two - and ordered pizza if I ran out of food. But I wouldn't have turned them away, if that's what you're asking. I was taught that it would be rude. "Southern hospitality" you know.

 

Re: back to the boards » Dr. Bob

Posted by AuntieMel on February 10, 2005, at 13:34:16

In reply to Re: my backyard, posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2005, at 23:17:59

It seems you really want to give it a shot. Some folks here are for it and some are against and most probably don't even look at admin and don't know about it.

There is only one way to find out how it will go, right? So, how 'bout you just go ahead - and we'll see how it works out? It has to bet better than the going back and forth about it for the last month has been.

 

Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read.

Posted by Jai Narayan on February 10, 2005, at 21:20:19

In reply to Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read., posted by Mark H. on February 8, 2005, at 19:44:53

Hi Mark H.
I don't see you posting much on babble.
are you mostly reading?
the few times I have read what you posted...
I really liked what you had to say.
Ja*

 

Re: eep! Can we avoid that subject header??? :-) (nm) » Jai Narayan

Posted by alexandra_k on February 10, 2005, at 22:45:10

In reply to Re: blocked for week ALEX....please read., posted by Jai Narayan on February 10, 2005, at 21:20:19

 

Alex is the most wonderful person....:)

Posted by Jai Narayan on February 11, 2005, at 16:09:40

In reply to Re: eep! Can we avoid that subject header??? :-) (nm) » Jai Narayan, posted by alexandra_k on February 10, 2005, at 22:45:10

sorry about that other subject line....
is there anything I can so to stop it?

At PC you can delete anything....I think.

there was a poster on PC who first deleted her poem, then she deleted her name and became anonymous then all of it just disappeared.
haunting.
Ja*

 

Re: Jai is the most wonderful person....:)

Posted by alexandra_k on February 11, 2005, at 16:18:52

In reply to Alex is the most wonderful person....:), posted by Jai Narayan on February 11, 2005, at 16:09:40

> sorry about that other subject line....
> is there anything I can so to stop it?

Thats okay. I just didn't want it continued indefinately...

> At PC you can delete anything....I think.

Within a certain amount of time.

> there was a poster on PC who first deleted her poem, then she deleted her name and became anonymous then all of it just disappeared.

Yes. That would be a downside.

> haunting.

:-)

Have a wonderful day

> Ja*

:-)

ps - lets keep it admin in here ;-)


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