Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1082809

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Able to hold a successful job while on daily benzo

Posted by Chelle on September 22, 2015, at 11:42:18

Hello all, I am new here and have been struggling for a bit. I'm a wife, mom, and employed full time as an HR Professional. I have been on Ativan 1mg at bedtime for three years, then it was upped to 2mg. I started taking it once daily at work and it really helped keep anxiety at bay. I was on low dose Paxil 20mg for ten years then switched to lexapro 20mg a few years ago. I stopped taking all antidepressants about a year and a half ago.
A few weeks ago, after getting sick with a mono flare up, my anxiety srarted to return. At first I could calm myself down, but have now been experiencing daily panic attacks. For me the worst is the body symptoms and feeling "not like myself"... I went to my doc and she gave me more Ativan and Effexor. I'm on day 6 of the Effexor and don't notice anything yet. The panic is so bad I filled out FMLA paperwork for the first time in my life. I feel like a failure. I had my anxiety under control for so long... I'm scared I won't be able to go back to work, that my husband will leave, I'll be homeless, in a mental hospital...it's bad. And I can't sleep. I've been taking more of the Ativan and finally took 4mg just to pass out. Woke up 4 hours later. I haven't been sleeping well, no appetite...I just don't understand how I'm fine for years, then this happens. I'm so scared right now


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