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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 18:47:10
like i said, im going to try getting ketamine, but i'm just so scared it might not work for me. it wouldn't be so bad if i didnt always have a feeling like the worst thing in the world just happened. in a way, i guess the worst thing in the world has happened. me losing myself. i am just a hateful, bitter person that cant feel much pleasure in anything. and alot of the time when i do appreciate things, it is because im telling myself i should appreciate it.
i'm freakin 24 years old and living with my parents. my younger sister, who is 17, will most likely be moved out before i am. the world is just moving on without me. i cant stand always having these bad feelings and thinking these bad thoughts. i might go out somewhere and see people that might look like they might fun to talk to, or a pretty girl id like to talk to.. but i cant. i ignore everyone ive ever met because i just cant have friends right now. i wouldnt be able to actually act like a friend to anyone. and then i get on psychobabble and i feel like i can barely understand anything people say on here because i feel in such a daze all the time.
what am i supposed to do? tell my psychiatrist how bad i want to end this myself just so my rights can be taken away and locked up, meds forced on me, and if i refuse they shock the hell out of my brain with ECT? i'm not sure why i'm writing this, i just wish someone could give me some advice that could give me some hope. i'm sorry i hardly ever get on here and offer advice to others, i feel like im the same on here as i am in the world. always taking and never giving anything.
Posted by Phillipa on February 21, 2012, at 19:06:42
In reply to i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 18:47:10
Poser that is what babble is for to help others.You do write very well. So it seems your very coherent in your writing and thoughts. Would you like to go to a hospital if it didn't force meds and ECT on you? Why do you feel this would happen has it happened in the past? Phillipa
Posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 19:28:54
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » poser938, posted by Phillipa on February 21, 2012, at 19:06:42
the only place ive ever stayed at was just a crisis stabilization place. it was no help. i didnt feel better while i was there. i dont think staying longterm anywhere would be any better. like i said before, my brain doesnt just go back to normal after stopping a med, so im scared as hell to try anything. doctors dont or arent willing to unnderstand this. neither is my dad.
i know what my brain loves, and that is a dopamine system that is working correctly, and that is what the problem. i used to have a brain that worked much more correctly than it does now until i started meds. i was reading a book that was besically putting my problem into perspective. well, with what mirapex did anyway... the example it used was with SSRI's, but it can be related to just about any other psychiatric med. when you put too much stimulation on the presynaptic receptors for too long, the system just shuts down. and this is similar to the effect of a labotomy. and because of this, i cant feel the effects of antipsychotics at all. i dont think there are any meds aimed at fixing something like this. i cant take ritalin or adderall or selegiline or tianeptine because they all lead to the same problem.
and now, with ketamine.. i dont really understand much about how it is thought to work, but what really interests me is what i read on ketamine.com where it says "Ketamine, researchers increasingly believe, may be a "reset button" for brains stuck in dysfunctional ruts." and this is far different than normal antidepressants where they make an artificial change to your brain. and ive read for most people, they need a new dose once a week to keep depression away, but with me, it wasnt my genes making me like this. im positive that if it were to correct the problem in my brain, my brain wouldnt go back to its depressed ways.
Posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 19:42:18
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 19:28:54
and i even saw a story on here about how someone stayed in a hospital, and when people there refused their meds, they did ECT.
Posted by SLS on February 22, 2012, at 5:34:43
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 21, 2012, at 19:42:18
If you can conceive of an untried treatment, there is still hope.
I was able to maintain hope by having a list of alternate untried treatments. There is a logic to this kind of "sighted" hope. There have been times when I thought there would be no treatment for me in my lifetime. At times like this, I had no choice but to have "blind" hope if I were to continue to choose life over death.
Novel drugs are being developed. Old drugs are being used in novel ways. Make a list.
I am currently responding to the addition of prazosin (Minipress) to my treatment regime. It is an old drug with a new use. It was my doctor's idea. I would never have thought of it myself.
Currently:
Parnate 80 mg
nortriptyline 150 mg
Lamictal 200 mg
Abilify 10 mg
lithium 300 mg
prazosin 6 mgIf you have never tried this exact combination, I guess there must still be hope for you.
- Scott
Posted by b2chica on February 22, 2012, at 9:42:23
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » poser938, posted by SLS on February 22, 2012, at 5:34:43
thank you Scott.
i needed to hear that.
i'm running a low on hope today too.b2c.
Posted by poser938 on February 22, 2012, at 13:40:54
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » poser938, posted by SLS on February 22, 2012, at 5:34:43
saw my regular psychiatrist for the 1st time after having rTMS done today. i told him how i had no benefit from the rTMS. he asked me if i had any other ideas, and i brought up ketamine and a expected he said no to that idea (but thought it was a good idea to tell me about another psychiatrist that might prescribe it for me). what i didnt expect is him telling me i am "psychotic and delusional" for believing that meds have had a long term/permanent effect. but anyways, i ended up asking about another med called Saphris that i am considering, and he said no. he i am going to have to sign a paper for him, stating that i am "psychotic and delusional" before he will prescribe anything other than an SSRI or SNRI for me.
oh yeah, he also brought up ECT during this, and i said i was scared to have it done. he tells me there is no reason to be scared of it and that i am delusional about this, too. i told him that i have talked to people that have told me it had permanent side effect in their cognition and memory. so then my wonderful psychiatrist says "they think this because theyre on drugs."
and he told me he doesnt believe me about me never doing any drugs. this is just what i get for being low on money because of life circumstances, a sh*tty doctor.i hate this guy.
Posted by SLS on February 22, 2012, at 14:23:42
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 22, 2012, at 13:40:54
> saw my regular psychiatrist for the 1st time after having rTMS done today. i told him how i had no benefit from the rTMS. he asked me if i had any other ideas, and i brought up ketamine and a expected he said no to that idea (but thought it was a good idea to tell me about another psychiatrist that might prescribe it for me). what i didnt expect is him telling me i am "psychotic and delusional" for believing that meds have had a long term/permanent effect. but anyways, i ended up asking about another med called Saphris that i am considering, and he said no. he i am going to have to sign a paper for him, stating that i am "psychotic and delusional" before he will prescribe anything other than an SSRI or SNRI for me.
>
> oh yeah, he also brought up ECT during this, and i said i was scared to have it done. he tells me there is no reason to be scared of it and that i am delusional about this, too. i told him that i have talked to people that have told me it had permanent side effect in their cognition and memory. so then my wonderful psychiatrist says "they think this because theyre on drugs."
> and he told me he doesnt believe me about me never doing any drugs. this is just what i get for being low on money because of life circumstances, a sh*tty doctor.
>
> i hate this guy.
Me, too.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2012, at 18:14:45
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » poser938, posted by SLS on February 22, 2012, at 14:23:42
Somehow you need another doc? Phillipa
Posted by poser938 on February 22, 2012, at 21:51:38
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » SLS, posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2012, at 18:14:45
haha yeah i do think i need another doctor. now i wish there was somthing that could be done about this doctor, dr. hussein. the best i can think to do is report him to some watchdog agency.
doctors like him are why there is such a bad stigma on psychiatrists in this country.i just dont get what can cause a psychiatrist to think he can treat a patient like this. my mom thinks he has a "god disorder" thinking he is so high above his patients making him think he can demean them in any way. he has said things like this every time i have seen him, but not as bad. last time i saw him he let me know "it is my fault my life is ruined." but i just figured i would ignore his BS and treat him with respect, and that maybe i might eventually get somewhere with after developing a good doctor to patient relationship. i was wrong, though.
i dont take any of his words to heart though, not really. i just hate having doctors like him in the way of me getting some actual help.
Posted by Elanor Roosevelt on February 24, 2012, at 14:21:22
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 22, 2012, at 21:51:38
I hate your doctor too. Is there a reason you cannot switch? Can you go to your MD and get some help with this? Most care systems bow to the the MD. It is difficult going ahead with a doctor you do not trust.
I don't get what you said about dopamine or miramax. But it does sound like you could use a bit of a sense of future.
Anyway, I'm with your mom and think your dr has a god thing going. This is not uncommon among shrinks with prescription pads. You should ditch him. There are good doctors out there.
Hang in there.
Posted by sigismund on February 25, 2012, at 19:07:31
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 22, 2012, at 13:40:54
>oh yeah, he also brought up ECT during this, and i said i was scared to have it done. he tells me there is no reason to be scared of it and that i am delusional about this, too. i told him that i have talked to people that have told me it had permanent side effect in their cognition and memory. so then my wonderful psychiatrist says "they think this because theyre on drugs."
Pathetic and wrong.
Posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 19:56:33
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by sigismund on February 25, 2012, at 19:07:31
Are you alone in the office with him? If so, can you bring someone in with you if you have to see him again?
I'm so sorry. That's outrageous behavior.
Posted by Elanor Roosevelt on February 26, 2012, at 14:59:09
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope » sigismund, posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 19:56:33
If you do see him again either bring a recording device or a note pad.
Tell him you are having trouble keeping track of all the two of you cover in a session. Either method of record keeping will make him careful about what he says. Might sensitize the creep a bit.
Posted by poser938 on February 27, 2012, at 13:27:17
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by Elanor Roosevelt on February 26, 2012, at 14:59:09
thanks for the idea, i do think i will brink a recorder with me if i see him anymore.
Posted by sigismund on February 29, 2012, at 16:37:33
In reply to Re: i just feel like i'm running low on hope, posted by poser938 on February 27, 2012, at 13:27:17
Record him secretly and tell him later?
Or do it openly?
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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