Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 970667

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers

Posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

I'm not suicidal, but I am tired REALLY tired- physically and emotionally of trying to find "the perfect med cocktail" for the last 20 years.

First, meds I've been on @ therapeutic dosages for 6-12 weeks trail at least:

ANTI-DEPRESSANTS:
Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Luvox, Cymbalta, Effexor, Wellbutrin Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline., Ascendin, Serzone, Imipramine, Lexapro, Celexa, Remeron, Nardil, Trazadone

ATYPICAL ANTI-PYSCHOTICS
Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, Geodon

MOOD STABILIZERS
Neurontin, Lithium, Depakote, Carbamazepine, Lamictal

ANTI-ANXIETY AGENTS:
Ativan, buSpar (a joke), Klonopin, Xanax, Librium, Valium, Atarax

ADJUNCT MEDS:
Adderall, Dexedrine, Ritalin, Concerta, Provigil, Cytomel

OFF-LABEL TREATMENTS:
Hydrocodone (opioid), AndroGel (testosterone)

SLEEP MEDS:
Ambien, Ambien CR, Trazadone, Seroquel, Ativan, Klonopin, Lunesta, Sonata, Nembutal, Mirapex, Chloral Hydrate

MISC TREATMENTS:
ECt (8 treatments), VNS implant -Vegal Nerve Stimulator ( I was in the first large scale national trials. Has it in for about 2 years and eventually had it removed for a couple of reasons one being it had NO effect on my depression.

THERAPY
Group therapy, CBT, DBT, Talk Therapy for 20 years.

So that's about it - hope I didn't leave anything out. I've seen countless psychiatrists who either try me with another med or refer me along to another pdoc - for 20 years.

WHAT DOES SEEM TO HELP YOU JERRY? ANYTHING?
A: I've found over the years I do best on an SSRi or SNRI + stimulant + benzo + sleep med + OPIATE!!!!

as I posted in an earlier post - MY MAIN SYMPTOMS ARE:
Anhedonia, extremely low motivation, hypersomnia, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness, constant fatigue (without a stimulant usually), lethargy, insomnia, no enjoyment in anything.

HAVE YOU HAD BLOOD WORK DONE TO RULE OUT ANY BIOLOGICAL PROBLEMS?
A: Yes- found out my TSH was out of whack so I'm on 150 mcg Synthroid.

Found my testosterone is low -so am on AndroGel (50mg).

Found I have VERY VERY VERY mild sleep apnea, In fact I say my pulmonologist today and he basically said "Why are you here?" Because I had about 4 Hypopneas (a medical term for a disorder which involves episodes of overly shallow breathing or an abnormally low respiratory rate. This differs from apnea in that there remains some flow of air. Hypopnea events may happen while asleep or while awake.) Since Hypopneas don't cause one to stop breathing - they are not as severe as apneas.

I asked him "So, how come for 20 years I've never gotten a good night's sleep to where I feel rested in the morning?" His answer - "I dunno." So he referred me to get fitted for a CPAP but said losing weight would probably help me more than using a CPAP.

I am on Disability for my depression and it is my only source of "income." I have Medicaid and Medicare so my meds are paid for except if it's an off-lable use - then they say -NO WAY - unless you can prove you have the symptoms the specific med is supposed to treat. That's why I can't get Adderall XR or Vyvanse - I don't have ADD or Narcolepsy.

SO that's my life story for the past 20 years. I'm 38 now. I've missed out on 20 years. Sleeping, isolating, yada yada yada....

So how would a small town Psychiatrist even know where to begin with me?! My current pdoc is good - he puts up with my many calls requesting for med changes - but he'd rather work with dosages than add another med. And he's never been one to say "Ok - let's look at your symptoms and see if we can find a psych med match - even if it includes using older meds (tricyclics). And he likes to do things one at a time - so change one med, wait 2-3 months then either try another or keep it and add another - and wait another 2-3 months, etc etc.....I can handle multiple med changes but I don't know how to prove this to him.

SO I'm at the end of my rope. I feel hopeless - how can I tell myself that they may find a new med that helps when all the meds I've tried have touted the same thing?

What if I wanted to completely ditch my current med combo and switch to a tricyclic, a different stimulant, a better benzo than Klonopin - like Valium or Ativan - which has always worked the best for me. How would I break it to my pdoc?

I mean right now I'm not suicidal but my shades are down and I intend to sleep as long as I can tomorrow and the next day ,etc., because there's no hope - Therapy for 20 years + Meds for 20 years and I'M NOWHERE BETTER THAN WHERE I WAS 20 YEARS GO. I don't believe in doctors anymore.

I want to be looking on the outside instead of always on the inside - you know? I want to laugh. I want natural motivation. I want to experience joy. I want to enjoy doing the things I used to derive enjoyment. I want my SEX LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!! I want to fall asleep with in 15 minutes every night. I want to spend my life with someone. - etc etc etc

I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel. So I sleep and sleep because I don''t want to die - but if I happened to die in my sleep that'd be ok.


I really cannot take it anymore.

If I'm doing something wrong God, please let me in on the joke?

I'm tired.....time for hibernation. Good Night everyone.

Jerry

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers

Posted by MissThang on November 18, 2010, at 7:16:23

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

Jerry -- Even though you're on Medicaid, I would still try to apply for the Vyvanse patient assistance program. The only thing they need for proof of income is a tax return and I made up a fake one, sent it in with my application and got a card that gives me 30/pills a month for a year. They didn't check the return I sent them against any IRS records or anything, and I doubt they'd figure it out if you lied about being on Medicaid.

And, btw, I was just taking it as an augment to my Wellbutrin, not for narcolepsy or ADD or any kind of sleep disorder. All you need is a dr's script for it to send in with your application. I'm pretty sure the application didn't even ask if I had ADD, just if I had tried Vyvanse before.

The Wellbutrin and Vyvanse was a pretty effective combo for me for a while, unfortunately, the effects of the Wellbutrin just pooped out on me so I'm now trying Parnate (day 4 -- no effects yet).

Speaking of which, it doesn't appear you've tried Parnate either -- it's supposed to be more stimulating than Nardil and I know I've read about some people who have received no benefit from one who get a great benefit from the other. Would you be willing to give Parnate a try? It's technically contraindicated with Vyvanse, but your dr may let you combine them anyway. Mine wants me to go with either Nuvigil or Provigil if I end up needing a stimulent w/the Parnate -- he was a speaker for Cephalon and believes they're safer with MAOI's than other stims are, so I may soon by applying for the Provigil patient assistance program...too soon on Parnate to tell if I'll need it or not.

Anyway -- good luck!

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers

Posted by Conundrum on November 18, 2010, at 8:29:25

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

How do you respond to immediate release generic stimulants?

It seems like the stimulants would help you a lot by giving you energy, increasing drive, increasing libido. You might even have energy then to lose the weight to help your sleep.

Losing weight is hard when your depressed because sometimes eating something sweet is one of the few pleasures you get.

> I'm not suicidal, but I am tired REALLY tired- physically and emotionally of trying to find "the perfect med cocktail" for the last 20 years.
>
> First, meds I've been on @ therapeutic dosages for 6-12 weeks trail at least:
>
> ANTI-DEPRESSANTS:
> Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Luvox, Cymbalta, Effexor, Wellbutrin Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline., Ascendin, Serzone, Imipramine, Lexapro, Celexa, Remeron, Nardil, Trazadone
>
> ATYPICAL ANTI-PYSCHOTICS
> Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, Geodon
>
> MOOD STABILIZERS
> Neurontin, Lithium, Depakote, Carbamazepine, Lamictal
>
> ANTI-ANXIETY AGENTS:
> Ativan, buSpar (a joke), Klonopin, Xanax, Librium, Valium, Atarax
>
> ADJUNCT MEDS:
> Adderall, Dexedrine, Ritalin, Concerta, Provigil, Cytomel
>
> OFF-LABEL TREATMENTS:
> Hydrocodone (opioid), AndroGel (testosterone)
>
> SLEEP MEDS:
> Ambien, Ambien CR, Trazadone, Seroquel, Ativan, Klonopin, Lunesta, Sonata, Nembutal, Mirapex, Chloral Hydrate
>
> MISC TREATMENTS:
> ECt (8 treatments), VNS implant -Vegal Nerve Stimulator ( I was in the first large scale national trials. Has it in for about 2 years and eventually had it removed for a couple of reasons one being it had NO effect on my depression.
>
> THERAPY
> Group therapy, CBT, DBT, Talk Therapy for 20 years.
>
> So that's about it - hope I didn't leave anything out. I've seen countless psychiatrists who either try me with another med or refer me along to another pdoc - for 20 years.
>
> WHAT DOES SEEM TO HELP YOU JERRY? ANYTHING?
> A: I've found over the years I do best on an SSRi or SNRI + stimulant + benzo + sleep med + OPIATE!!!!
>
> as I posted in an earlier post - MY MAIN SYMPTOMS ARE:
> Anhedonia, extremely low motivation, hypersomnia, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness, constant fatigue (without a stimulant usually), lethargy, insomnia, no enjoyment in anything.
>
> HAVE YOU HAD BLOOD WORK DONE TO RULE OUT ANY BIOLOGICAL PROBLEMS?
> A: Yes- found out my TSH was out of whack so I'm on 150 mcg Synthroid.
>
> Found my testosterone is low -so am on AndroGel (50mg).
>
> Found I have VERY VERY VERY mild sleep apnea, In fact I say my pulmonologist today and he basically said "Why are you here?" Because I had about 4 Hypopneas (a medical term for a disorder which involves episodes of overly shallow breathing or an abnormally low respiratory rate. This differs from apnea in that there remains some flow of air. Hypopnea events may happen while asleep or while awake.) Since Hypopneas don't cause one to stop breathing - they are not as severe as apneas.
>
> I asked him "So, how come for 20 years I've never gotten a good night's sleep to where I feel rested in the morning?" His answer - "I dunno." So he referred me to get fitted for a CPAP but said losing weight would probably help me more than using a CPAP.
>
> I am on Disability for my depression and it is my only source of "income." I have Medicaid and Medicare so my meds are paid for except if it's an off-lable use - then they say -NO WAY - unless you can prove you have the symptoms the specific med is supposed to treat. That's why I can't get Adderall XR or Vyvanse - I don't have ADD or Narcolepsy.
>
> SO that's my life story for the past 20 years. I'm 38 now. I've missed out on 20 years. Sleeping, isolating, yada yada yada....
>
> So how would a small town Psychiatrist even know where to begin with me?! My current pdoc is good - he puts up with my many calls requesting for med changes - but he'd rather work with dosages than add another med. And he's never been one to say "Ok - let's look at your symptoms and see if we can find a psych med match - even if it includes using older meds (tricyclics). And he likes to do things one at a time - so change one med, wait 2-3 months then either try another or keep it and add another - and wait another 2-3 months, etc etc.....I can handle multiple med changes but I don't know how to prove this to him.
>
> SO I'm at the end of my rope. I feel hopeless - how can I tell myself that they may find a new med that helps when all the meds I've tried have touted the same thing?
>
> What if I wanted to completely ditch my current med combo and switch to a tricyclic, a different stimulant, a better benzo than Klonopin - like Valium or Ativan - which has always worked the best for me. How would I break it to my pdoc?
>
> I mean right now I'm not suicidal but my shades are down and I intend to sleep as long as I can tomorrow and the next day ,etc., because there's no hope - Therapy for 20 years + Meds for 20 years and I'M NOWHERE BETTER THAN WHERE I WAS 20 YEARS GO. I don't believe in doctors anymore.
>
> I want to be looking on the outside instead of always on the inside - you know? I want to laugh. I want natural motivation. I want to experience joy. I want to enjoy doing the things I used to derive enjoyment. I want my SEX LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!! I want to fall asleep with in 15 minutes every night. I want to spend my life with someone. - etc etc etc
>
> I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel. So I sleep and sleep because I don''t want to die - but if I happened to die in my sleep that'd be ok.
>
>
> I really cannot take it anymore.
>
> If I'm doing something wrong God, please let me in on the joke?
>
> I'm tired.....time for hibernation. Good Night everyone.
>
> Jerry
>
>
>
>
>
>

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » jerryTRD

Posted by Jay_Clockwork_Angels on November 18, 2010, at 9:11:13

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

> I'm not suicidal, but I am tired REALLY tired- physically and emotionally of trying to find "the perfect med cocktail" for the last 20 years.
>
> First, meds I've been on @ therapeutic dosages for 6-12 weeks trail at least:
>
> ANTI-DEPRESSANTS:
> Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Luvox, Cymbalta, Effexor, Wellbutrin Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline., Ascendin, Serzone, Imipramine, Lexapro, Celexa, Remeron, Nardil, Trazadone
>
> ATYPICAL ANTI-PYSCHOTICS
> Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, Geodon
>
> MOOD STABILIZERS
> Neurontin, Lithium, Depakote, Carbamazepine, Lamictal
>
> ANTI-ANXIETY AGENTS:
> Ativan, buSpar (a joke), Klonopin, Xanax, Librium, Valium, Atarax
>
> ADJUNCT MEDS:
> Adderall, Dexedrine, Ritalin, Concerta, Provigil, Cytomel
>
> OFF-LABEL TREATMENTS:
> Hydrocodone (opioid), AndroGel (testosterone)
>
> SLEEP MEDS:
> Ambien, Ambien CR, Trazadone, Seroquel, Ativan, Klonopin, Lunesta, Sonata, Nembutal, Mirapex, Chloral Hydrate
>
> MISC TREATMENTS:
> ECt (8 treatments), VNS implant -Vegal Nerve Stimulator ( I was in the first large scale national trials. Has it in for about 2 years and eventually had it removed for a couple of reasons one being it had NO effect on my depression.
>
> THERAPY
> Group therapy, CBT, DBT, Talk Therapy for 20 years.
>
> So that's about it - hope I didn't leave anything out. I've seen countless psychiatrists who either try me with another med or refer me along to another pdoc - for 20 years.
>
> WHAT DOES SEEM TO HELP YOU JERRY? ANYTHING?
> A: I've found over the years I do best on an SSRi or SNRI + stimulant + benzo + sleep med + OPIATE!!!!
>
> as I posted in an earlier post - MY MAIN SYMPTOMS ARE:
> Anhedonia, extremely low motivation, hypersomnia, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness, constant fatigue (without a stimulant usually), lethargy, insomnia, no enjoyment in anything.
>
> HAVE YOU HAD BLOOD WORK DONE TO RULE OUT ANY BIOLOGICAL PROBLEMS?
> A: Yes- found out my TSH was out of whack so I'm on 150 mcg Synthroid.
>
> Found my testosterone is low -so am on AndroGel (50mg).
>
> Found I have VERY VERY VERY mild sleep apnea, In fact I say my pulmonologist today and he basically said "Why are you here?" Because I had about 4 Hypopneas (a medical term for a disorder which involves episodes of overly shallow breathing or an abnormally low respiratory rate. This differs from apnea in that there remains some flow of air. Hypopnea events may happen while asleep or while awake.) Since Hypopneas don't cause one to stop breathing - they are not as severe as apneas.
>
> I asked him "So, how come for 20 years I've never gotten a good night's sleep to where I feel rested in the morning?" His answer - "I dunno." So he referred me to get fitted for a CPAP but said losing weight would probably help me more than using a CPAP.
>
> I am on Disability for my depression and it is my only source of "income." I have Medicaid and Medicare so my meds are paid for except if it's an off-lable use - then they say -NO WAY - unless you can prove you have the symptoms the specific med is supposed to treat. That's why I can't get Adderall XR or Vyvanse - I don't have ADD or Narcolepsy.
>
> SO that's my life story for the past 20 years. I'm 38 now. I've missed out on 20 years. Sleeping, isolating, yada yada yada....
>
> So how would a small town Psychiatrist even know where to begin with me?! My current pdoc is good - he puts up with my many calls requesting for med changes - but he'd rather work with dosages than add another med. And he's never been one to say "Ok - let's look at your symptoms and see if we can find a psych med match - even if it includes using older meds (tricyclics). And he likes to do things one at a time - so change one med, wait 2-3 months then either try another or keep it and add another - and wait another 2-3 months, etc etc.....I can handle multiple med changes but I don't know how to prove this to him.
>
> SO I'm at the end of my rope. I feel hopeless - how can I tell myself that they may find a new med that helps when all the meds I've tried have touted the same thing?
>
> What if I wanted to completely ditch my current med combo and switch to a tricyclic, a different stimulant, a better benzo than Klonopin - like Valium or Ativan - which has always worked the best for me. How would I break it to my pdoc?
>
> I mean right now I'm not suicidal but my shades are down and I intend to sleep as long as I can tomorrow and the next day ,etc., because there's no hope - Therapy for 20 years + Meds for 20 years and I'M NOWHERE BETTER THAN WHERE I WAS 20 YEARS GO. I don't believe in doctors anymore.
>
> I want to be looking on the outside instead of always on the inside - you know? I want to laugh. I want natural motivation. I want to experience joy. I want to enjoy doing the things I used to derive enjoyment. I want my SEX LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!! I want to fall asleep with in 15 minutes every night. I want to spend my life with someone. - etc etc etc
>
> I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel. So I sleep and sleep because I don''t want to die - but if I happened to die in my sleep that'd be ok.
>
>
> I really cannot take it anymore.
>
> If I'm doing something wrong God, please let me in on the joke?
>
> I'm tired.....time for hibernation. Good Night everyone.
>
> Jerry
>
>
>
>
>
>

<warning..this is looooong..>

Jerry..we are close to same age...okay well I am a bit on the more aged side, at 41..heh. Our situations are so much alike, and I may sound like I have answers, but honestly, I wake up every day still usually feeling anywhere from hardly functional to total sh*t. I can't stand f***ing mornings...never have, never will. I am now unemployed again, living off of a bit of severance (not much) then Employment Insurance, (not much either..)..and at my age, living in my parent's basement.

I've been turned down for every job I've applied to in my field over the past 9 years (exception of one)...as I actually had been choosen for the job, BUT when they checked my references, they find the one where I had a boss who thought my depression was an excuse. Now, a few weeks ago, I was *let go* because I got angry at a co-worker and told him to f**k off a couple of times. They said I had commited *Violence in the workplace*..so there again goes the old stereotype...us (people!) must be both insane AND violent..and they got away with it, because I couldn't afford a lawyer to fight it in court. So they offered me a measly few thousand dollar *buyout*, after 8 years there. They couldn't accept the fact that EVERYBODY has a bad day once in awhile, and the word f**k is in the dictionary. And I agree, it should be used with some discresion...but it doesn't make me **violent**.

About the meds..I too have really no answer my friend. Luckily, my doc likes to treat symptoms, and we go through 100 meds if we have to until I find some kind of relief. I really think I suffer from a bit of dysphoria/dystonia from my years of both SSRI and AP use...but I wouldn't have changed those...because I used to rapid cycle so bad, within an hour I'd go through 70 plans to commit suicide.

I don't have much in the way of answers, man...I am sorry. Only when I was hypomanic did I want to bang every chick I could find. Androgel is so hit-and-miss. I so badly want a loving relationship too.

I really don't know what to say..I am sorry...

Jay

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » Jay_Clockwork_Angels

Posted by Phillipa on November 18, 2010, at 9:58:23

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » jerryTRD, posted by Jay_Clockwork_Angels on November 18, 2010, at 9:11:13

Jerry which stimulants are covered on your Disability Medicaire?. I didn't know you could have both medicaire and medicaid? Phillipa

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers**

Posted by morgan miller on November 18, 2010, at 19:50:55

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » jerryTRD, posted by Jay_Clockwork_Angels on November 18, 2010, at 9:11:13

Sorry to hear about the long term suffering..total nightmare.

All I can say is, if you can get 60 or maybe 70 percent relief from a medication regimen, stick with it, even if you have a few minor side effects. Have you every achieved this? If you did, what do you think ended it?

I think the suggestion of Parnate sounds like a good one, if you haven't tried it yet.

Have you combined an SSRI with a TCA?

What SSRI works best for you?

Does exercise help? How about any supplements like fish oil? I'm sure you've tried both.

I feel like I've started a three year beginning to a long road of suffering, so I'm starting to realize and understand how this can happen to someone.

Morgan

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers**

Posted by floatingbridge on November 18, 2010, at 20:08:15

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers**, posted by morgan miller on November 18, 2010, at 19:50:55


> I feel like I've started a three year beginning to a long road of suffering, so I'm starting to realize and understand how this can happen to someone.
>
> Morgan

Morgan, what do you mean? I don't keep up on all the threads here, I admit, so I apologize for needing to ask.

I really hope that does not come to pass.

Fingers crossed,

fb

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » jerryTRD

Posted by huxley on November 18, 2010, at 20:20:20

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

Anhedonia, extremely low motivation, hypersomnia, sexual dysfunction, hopelessness, constant fatigue (without a stimulant usually), lethargy, insomnia, no enjoyment in anything

You do realise that every symptom you have listed is a side effect of psych meds?

Did you have all these symptoms before you touched a med?

Not saying to stop taking your meds but sometimes certain meds can be the problem.

One thing I would suggest is running.

Have you ever exercised every day for a sustained period?

Run for 30 minutes a day for two weeks. It can't hurt and you have alot to gain. It has worked wonders for my depression and anxiety and general well being.

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » jerryTRD

Posted by floatingbridge on November 18, 2010, at 20:25:49

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

Jerry,

Why are you tapering the effexor (short answer, isn't working?).

Your ideal cocktail sounds a bit like mine : /

(Btw, I didn't find anything I consider a trigger in your post.)

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » jerryTRD

Posted by Maxime on November 18, 2010, at 21:33:55

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

Sadly, I have no answers for your med wise.

I just wanted to say that I empathise with you so much. I've been on med train for about 20 years now myself (and depressed for 10 years before that) and I have yet to find a med or med combo that puts me into complete remission. I have been on meds that make me a feel a bit better and that's it.

So yeah, I think you have the right to be angry. I also believe that God is playing a cruel joke on me.

Hopefully the synthroid will help. It can take a few months.

I don't know what else to say ...

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » floatingbridge

Posted by morgan miller on November 19, 2010, at 12:24:01

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers**, posted by floatingbridge on November 18, 2010, at 20:08:15

Hey FB, don't want to hijack the thread, but maybe it's pertinent to the discussion. I am starting to be able to relate to long term suffering.

-Had a major mixed episode 2 years ago-been depressed and experienced periods of mixed mania ever since.
-Have done some things to myself that may have caused me to have a certain level of dysfunction and discomfort that I'm not sure I will ever be able to deal with very well. Getting older was going to be hard enough for me. I'm 37.
-I've gone through 11 different medications in 3 years- I suspect that my brain has suffered and I may have a harder time treating my anxiety, depression, and brain/physiological function after some of these trial.
-I don't have the money to do all the things I need to do to recovery some physically. I also don't have the money to see the doctors I may have to see to get to the bottom of what may be going on with me aside from just medication/depression/bipolar.
-Something likely is going on with me, at least partially unrelated to depression, medication, bipolar. The fatigue, muscle stiffness and joint stiffness, is not the type one experiences as a result of depression. The things I'm experiencing cannot even be explained by the injuries and trauma(partially resulting from surgeries). I do think, the mixed episodes, chronic depression, and medication trials, traumatized me enough to possibly trigger whatever may be going on with me

Sorry, I meant to make this post shorter. Anyway, I'm kinda one of those "lust for life" people. If I can't feel this lust and act on it, there really is no such thing as life. There are so many things I still want to do, and I fear I will never get my shot at them. Life is just too damn short.

Morgan

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » morgan miller

Posted by floatingbridge on November 19, 2010, at 12:30:18

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers** » floatingbridge, posted by morgan miller on November 19, 2010, at 12:24:01

Morgan, yeah, I know life is short. And then, try and remain calm....!!!!!!

Let me think for awhile. I don't want to hijack Jerry's thread either. Maybe a new thread?

Look on the board.

Btw, Jerry, how are things going for you today?

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers

Posted by morgan miller on November 19, 2010, at 16:32:02

In reply to I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by jerryTRD on November 18, 2010, at 2:36:13

Jerry, sorry for the hijack post.

How are you doing?

Any closer to having an idea what do next for treatment?

Morgan

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » morgan miller

Posted by jerryTRD on November 22, 2010, at 18:10:24

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers, posted by morgan miller on November 19, 2010, at 16:32:02

> Jerry, sorry for the hijack post.
>
> How are you doing?
>
> Any closer to having an idea what do next for treatment?
>
> Morgan

I've been dealing with some illnesses so those haven't helped my mood. but I see my pdoc on the 7th so we'll see. thanks everyone for your support.

 

Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » jerryTRD

Posted by morgan miller on November 28, 2010, at 14:10:07

In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! long/may contain triggers » morgan miller, posted by jerryTRD on November 22, 2010, at 18:10:24

I too am dealing with some physical issues that are making it harder to get back to my life. Keep us updated on what the doc says. Take care.

Morgan


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