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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 1:47:50
As I see it, a recurring irritant on PB is not simply disagreements in treatment approaches, but on the manner in which the supposed disagreeable advice is given.
What if the PB civility's 'I' statements and mutual respect were applied to giving advice as well? (Whoa. I am not suggesting adding rules.) 'I have read/ heard this', or 'I have tried/experienced this' or just freely licensed intuition and creative thinking stated as such is so
much easier for me to hear. In the case of disagreements regarding treatment, I am less likely to feel personal irritation or concern for another poster's welfare if
they are given advice I disagree with.I dislike being told, when I am sick,
depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed,
(often all at once), that 'anyone with a
brain could see that blah blah'. Or if I
'really wanted to get well,' I'd ______.In this light, I see habits of speech
obscuring the intent of extending a helping hand to someone in distress, and this is what seems to be at the heart of most advice given here.To make it short, the pb civility
requirement of 'I' statements which make self-ownership of feelings clear
also supports mutual respect when applied to giving advice. Who knows
what or how much from where is very important, yet secondary to admitting one's subjectivity in giving advice. Mutual respect shown through our posts
supports self-authority, a wonderful quality to own and share with another person who finds themselves here.
Posted by 49er on October 27, 2010, at 8:21:13
In reply to my 2¢ on giving medical advice, posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 1:47:50
> As I see it, a recurring irritant on PB is not simply disagreements in treatment approaches, but on the manner in which the supposed disagreeable advice is given.
>
> What if the PB civility's 'I' statements and mutual respect were applied to giving advice as well? (Whoa. I am not suggesting adding rules.) 'I have read/ heard this', or 'I have tried/experienced this' or just freely licensed intuition and creative thinking stated as such is so
> much easier for me to hear. In the case of disagreements regarding treatment, I am less likely to feel personal irritation or concern for another poster's welfare if
> they are given advice I disagree with.
>
> I dislike being told, when I am sick,
> depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed,
> (often all at once), that 'anyone with a
> brain could see that blah blah'. Or if I
> 'really wanted to get well,' I'd ______.
>
> In this light, I see habits of speech
> obscuring the intent of extending a helping hand to someone in distress, and this is what seems to be at the heart of most advice given here.
>
> To make it short, the pb civility
> requirement of 'I' statements which make self-ownership of feelings clear
> also supports mutual respect when applied to giving advice. Who knows
> what or how much from where is very important, yet secondary to admitting one's subjectivity in giving advice. Mutual respect shown through our posts
> supports self-authority, a wonderful quality to own and share with another person who finds themselves here.FB,
You have some good ideas but as one with a bad memory, I would worry about having to qualify every last thing I say.
I try to be respectful of people and make sure I carefully word what I say so it isn't offensive. But I have always have said that no matter how careful you are, someone is going to be offended. That is just the way it is.
Speaking of subjectivity, I don't think anyone who gives advice whether it is an amateur or professional is completely bias free. Again, that is just human nature
49er
Posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2010, at 10:58:41
In reply to Re: my 2¢ on giving medical advice » floatingbridge, posted by 49er on October 27, 2010, at 8:21:13
I try to use I statements and I feel but as 49er said someone will certainly be offended. Sometimes I feel it's not only what you express but that the person doesn't caree for me or doesn't read it right. Remember the saying " You can please some of the people some of the time but not all the people all of the time". I think that's how it goes? Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on October 27, 2010, at 17:31:38
In reply to my 2¢ on giving medical advice, posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 1:47:50
Well, we can at least try your approach because it is a good one.
Posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 22:41:19
In reply to my 2¢ on giving medical advice, posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 1:47:50
Hey, it's my thoughts after reading some testy exchanges that were about differing treatment approaches in which the best interests of the person asking for advice* was just about forgotten while one poster challenged another's authority. And the other poster, IMO was not 'owning' his or her advice, in that it sounded so disembodied--like 'this is how it is and anyone can see that'.
It's very small fish to fry, again, IMO, because afterwards I read another long thread started by (I think) Lou.
*Soliciting advice online seems dicey to me (yet here I am, giving and receiving it). My assumption is that anyone doing so needs to make their own decisions and comes here of freewill (even if tinged with a bit of desperation). There's no reason why we shouldn't hold our behavior on PB to a high standard, each in their own way. My post was meant as suggestion and musing, not prescription.
This is the end of the thread.
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