Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 941095

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Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 13:22:39

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 13:10:54

> Hi Brian,
>
> Whatever the Trileptal is doing, it would be unwise to stop taking it abruptly. Pretty much all psych meds can cause problems if they are suddenly discontinued. Are you going to try taking 150mg twice a day?
>
> I assume you are still taking 20mg diazepam three times a day. Now that you are feeling a bit more stable, I think you should be able to start reducing quite soon.
>
> Seriously though, how are you managing to go on dates?!

Oh Ed, I've got the charisma and charm no matter how crazy I am (I can fake and hide it pretty well)!!!! The women are pretty addictive creatures I tell you LOL

For some reason, the morning trileptal hypomania seems to be stopping, i don't know if it's the added lyrica or the diazepam. I'm going to lyrica 175mgs 3x a day today, and i think i was just gonna go through with trileptal 300mgs 3x a day, see if i can't get that mid day crap gone, as i feel it would really help with tapering.
You think get to 600mgs lyrica real soon and start tapering diazepam? Should i do it strict eg ashton taper schedule. My last taper, i was SO obsesssional about, it was outrageous. Now, i'd rather just be more nonchalant, and be like, hey, i think i can take 5mgs less today. Or does it need to be meticulous again, given my sensitivity?

Now the choice is to get on a bus or plane and head to California tonight. HHHMMM.

Regards,

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 13:24:57

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 13:22:39

PS- Yes, last year, dropping trielpal cold turkey, during my fast diaz taper i was doing with no issues, put me in the midst of a benzo cold turkey, and put me to where i am now.

I learned my lesson not to drop an anticonvulsant during a benzo taper i think.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 14:02:01

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 13:24:57

Or, I could try to go work a mindless job that i might be able to handle, such as at a restaurant, do my taper, and have money saved for ect. I'm sick of conversations, things repeating in my head, hearing me texting people, what i text, what they text, repeat over and over again. Just look at my phone, and i will hear what i just texted the last person i texted.
You can see why i want to get away from technology and people) Pre ect, this was WAY worse, especially hearing me telling people, drs, all day long, explaining what i was experiencing. And the intrusive images. I would have to literally say out loud, don't talk to him/her, or when i'd see the intrusive images, i'd say, don't show me that.

Obviously a lot of PTSD from this whole experience.

If this were pre ect, and pre re-introduction of drugs, you and i would be having many conversations in my head Ed. And what you would say to me, would repeat over and over, and i would hear what i would write or say before i said it.
I'm glad it's calmed, but i want it gone. It's tough to remember what it was like to be sane, like my whole life, and it's sickening to get used to these phenomenea.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 16:52:22

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 13:10:54

> Hi Brian,
>
> Whatever the Trileptal is doing, it would be unwise to stop taking it abruptly. Pretty much all psych meds can cause problems if they are suddenly discontinued. Are you going to try taking 150mg twice a day?
>
> I assume you are still taking 20mg diazepam three times a day. Now that you are feeling a bit more stable, I think you should be able to start reducing quite soon.
>
> Seriously though, how are you managing to go on dates?!

Ed, for lyrica, how many days of 175mgs 3x a day before 200mgs 3x a day? I can move up quick on it, i tolerate it fine, and it helps.

Regards,

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 17:24:52

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 16:52:22

> Ed, for lyrica, how many days of 175mgs 3x a day before 200mgs 3x a day? I can move up quick on it, i tolerate it fine, and it helps.

It's not set in stone. Just depends on whether you experience any side effects.

Alternatively, you could stay at your current dose for the moment (if you think it's sufficient) and then increase Lyrica later on during the taper if you need more for anxiety.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 17:27:59

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 14:02:01

> Or, I could try to go work a mindless job that i might be able to handle, such as at a restaurant...

I think a restaurant could actually be quite stressful!

When you hear things repeating over and over, is it like a voice inside your head or as if someone was speaking in your ear?

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 17:37:22

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 13:22:39

>Oh Ed, I've got the charisma and charm no matter how crazy I am

I can imagine :)


>i think i was just gonna go through with trileptal 300mgs 3x a day, see if i can't get that mid day crap gone, as i feel it would really help with tapering.

Perhaps you should wait until you're on a stable dose of Lyrica first? If you make too many changes at once you won't know which med is doing what, if that makes sense.


>Should i do it strict eg ashton taper schedule.

As far as I know, Ashton advoctated flexibility in the taper, although she did produce tables with suggested tapers as a guide.

>hey, i think i can take 5mgs less today. Or does it need to be meticulous again, given my sensitivity?

Reducing from 60mg/day to 55mg is a very small reduction, but reducing from 10mg to 5mg is a very large reduction.

I think it's important to avoid going so fast that you end up having to increase the dose again. If you have to increase, you don't get where you want to be. I suppose it's a compromise between sticking to a planned taper and being guided by how you feel.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 17:54:26

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 17:27:59

> > Or, I could try to go work a mindless job that i might be able to handle, such as at a restaurant...
>
> I think a restaurant could actually be quite stressful!
>
> When you hear things repeating over and over, is it like a voice inside your head or as if someone was speaking in your ear?
>

For some reason, i'd like to get to 600mgs lyrica. After 2 175mg doses today, mixed with my 2 300mg trileptal doses, and 2 20mg diaz doses, i feel a little drunk, which is better than the alternative.

It's my own voice that never stops. It's me talking, it's me telling stories, asking people questions, answering questions etc. Although, there were many times when the first thing i would hear when i woke up would be, it's time to die. I would hear this constantly throughout the day. Usually it would be telling me terrible things, and as i was speaking to people,my friends, doctors, it would be telling them goodbye in my head, as suicide was iminanant. I would think about these medical tests that i was having done, and knowing that i was never going to be able to pay the medical bills, because i would not be alive.
I would speak to my grandmother on the phone, and cry after our talks, because i thought of how much she would miss me. I see all of my friends on facebook, i could literally hear them speaking/talking about me after i died. I held my own mock funeral in my room, with a music compilation, and had written my obituary. My own voice first thing in the morning, would say, it's time to go, you're not supposed to be here.
Every 3rd thought, or what i would hear, would be about dying.
Mind you, the only time i have ever felt suicidal in my life, was a couple days on paxil, which i quit, and also neurontin had given me some dreams/visions of me carrying it out. other than that, i'm a calm, peaceful person.

2 months into cold turkey, as i was attempting to go to a movie theater, much crying involved, i was shooting baskets at a basketball machine, every shot i took, my own voice would say, i want to die, i want to die, i want to die, as i'm crying, and calling my shrink constantly. He calls many drs around the country, and all say it's psychosis from benzo cold turkey.
I would hear my own voice saying, "I'm scared", and i have to respond, "I know". Or it would talk about, i can't be affraid anymore, cause i'm not on a benzo. there were many morbid thoughts, times, i felt like something was going to make me jump out of the car. If i saw a knife, i was afraid that something was going to make me hurt someone with it.

Like i say, MUCH has improved with the ECT and the meds right now, but the memories are horrific, and still some of the phenomenea are terrible. When this first started, i literally could not even see myself in the mirror, as my thoughts were so thick. I could not do simple tasks, such as clip my finger nails, as the intrusive thoughts/memories were so thick, and then a running commentary, and even my own voice mocking me of what i couldn't do. Memories and telling stories, of how much of my life i wasn't on benzos etc. At night, as i closed my eyes, all that i could see, were memories, and hear my own voice. I mentioned that there were moments of times of believing of devil possesion, or a night of being incarnated as God.

Those delusions have passed.

I messed something up in my brain from a cold turkey dramatically for sure. And I believe that ECT has helped reset some of it.

How to ever resume a life of normalcy, I don't know.

I could tell more, but i doubt that anyone wants to hear it, and as i have mentioned, i have been banned from speaking about it to my family.

Love,

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 18:39:04

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 17:54:26

Not to mention the days to where i could only hear songs play in my head, walk around the house doing an obsessional habit, and vegetatively staring at the computer.

Oh what i've put myself through, and what my life has become with my potential, could not be more tragic if you ask me. I just wanted to go teach overseas:(
To think of me fearlesslely traveling all over Brazil alone when I was 20 years old, to being reserverd to my condition and state now, could not be more depressing.
Perhaps this is why i feel like doing something dramatic is in store for me

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 18:42:15

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 4, 2010, at 17:37:22

> >Oh Ed, I've got the charisma and charm no matter how crazy I am
>
> I can imagine :)
>
>
> >i think i was just gonna go through with trileptal 300mgs 3x a day, see if i can't get that mid day crap gone, as i feel it would really help with tapering.
>
> Perhaps you should wait until you're on a stable dose of Lyrica first? If you make too many changes at once you won't know which med is doing what, if that makes sense.
>
>
> >Should i do it strict eg ashton taper schedule.
>
> As far as I know, Ashton advoctated flexibility in the taper, although she did produce tables with suggested tapers as a guide.
>
> >hey, i think i can take 5mgs less today. Or does it need to be meticulous again, given my sensitivity?
>
> Reducing from 60mg/day to 55mg is a very small reduction, but reducing from 10mg to 5mg is a very large reduction.
>
> I think it's important to avoid going so fast that you end up having to increase the dose again. If you have to increase, you don't get where you want to be. I suppose it's a compromise between sticking to a planned taper and being guided by how you feel.
>
>
>
>

Oh yeah, this last years brutal taper, where i had the most rare, severe, and uncommon withdrawal symptoms (perhaps that was MS), going from 30mgs to 17 was brutal. I think there were times where it was 1-2 mgs drops every two weeks.

Not sure how i will do it this go round.

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown

Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2010, at 19:40:05

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 18:42:15

Brian not to upset you but you do say psychosis right? Are you definitely diagnosed with MS or could this be just a thought? A Delusion? But you do mention the med. Could you be also scared of this new dianosis? Probing is what I'm doing. I seriously think you need to contact you pdoc immediately. I care. Love Phillipa ps you sound so miserable and uncomfortable in your skin

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 19:49:04

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2010, at 19:40:05

> Brian not to upset you but you do say psychosis right? Are you definitely diagnosed with MS or could this be just a thought? A Delusion? But you do mention the med. Could you be also scared of this new dianosis? Probing is what I'm doing. I seriously think you need to contact you pdoc immediately. I care. Love Phillipa ps you sound so miserable and uncomfortable in your skin

Thanks Phillipa. Yes, I do have MS, I inject myself daily, and my cerebral spinal fluid analysis papers are sitting right next to me as we speak. I am not afraid of the new DX. I was pissed at the neurologist when he thought that the psychosis and the MS weren't related, although when i research MS, i do see psychosis as a possibility.

I contact my PDOC CONSTANTLY. He actually has to constantly remind me to limit calling him once a day, because typically, it's excessive. Uncomfortable in my own skin would be an understatement, but it's been better since ECT and the 3 meds i'm on. It was my fault for going cold turkey, but in the state i was in, the toxic/psychotic reaction i was having, it seemed the only choice:(

I do not like my PDOC much, and have saught out the help of a karma integrative PDOC who teaches at the zen center i like. Although ingesting psychiatric medications seems pretty counterproductive to my health, and i believe for health, and sanity, i will ultimately have to get off, just more safely off the diazepam this time:)

Thank you for the concner Phillipa

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 20:02:20

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 19:49:04

Ed,

We seemed to side step the headache and naseau today, and the bad depression phase. A little down, but not that bad. I have an optimistic feeling, that with these two on board, tapering might be easier. I will hope.

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 20:21:58

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 19:49:04

Phillipa, pre ECT, they even tried me on clozaril/clozapine, which is only fda approved for treatment resistant schizophrenia. It did not help at all. Funny thing, is that that we did not try a benzo. As after ECT, and put on a benzo, people thought i was semi back to normal.
As my pdoc believes, it's psychosis secondary to MS. The ect did help some as i mentioned, and i'd like more, but can't afford it. But this did all seem precipitated by going cold turkey off a benzo. Bad idea(


Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me? » qbsbrown

Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2010, at 21:39:53

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 20:21:58

Brian would it be a good idea or bad one ECT with MS I have no idea? As for psychosis and MS that I will also search. I wonder if it's kind of like what my Infection control doc said. When the damage is done treat what the damage is with appropriate treatment. Benzos are used in MS I did read that. So many that would help. I don't know have to do some research. And if you now know how to babblemail send your address we can correspond with information. Oh go to National Osteoporosis website. Off shoots on there I'm sure will also link to MS. Get support system site. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:33:36

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 18:42:15

>Oh yeah, this last years brutal taper, where i had the most rare, severe, and uncommon withdrawal symptoms (perhaps that was MS), going from 30mgs to 17 was brutal. I think there were times where it was 1-2 mgs drops every two weeks.
>
> Not sure how i will do it this go round.

Brian,

What symptoms have you experienced which are definitely due to MS? You've not said much about the MS.

I wouldn't expect that reducing by 1mg every two weeks would be brutal unless there was also something else going on. Like you say, this could have been to do with the MS.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:38:57

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 20:02:20

> We seemed to side step the headache and nausea today, and the bad depression phase. A little down, but not that bad. I have an optimistic feeling, that with these two on board, tapering might be easier. I will hope.

Well, that's good news :)

You must be traumatised by what happened after the CT, and what happened during your previous taper. Perhaps you're previous taper was aggravated by symptoms of MS? That's what I was thinking. I don't think it will be so bad this time.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:49:23

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 20:21:58

Brian,

So, let me get this right. You're now taking...

Trileptal 300mg three times a day
Lyrica 200mg three times a day
Diazepam 20mg three times a day

Your morning hypomania and afternoon depression have both reduced. You aren't suffering any inter-dose symptoms with diazepam. I think you also said that you feel slightly intoxicated.

If this is correct, I think you will be able to start reducing diazepam soon. The intoxicated feeling suggests that the diazepam dose is actually a bit too high, which should mean that it will be easy to reduce at first.

Is the voice in your head any less intrusive today? It sounds awful.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 11:36:40

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:49:23

> Brian,
>
> So, let me get this right. You're now taking...
>
> Trileptal 300mg three times a day
> Lyrica 200mg three times a day
> Diazepam 20mg three times a day
>
> Your morning hypomania and afternoon depression have both reduced. You aren't suffering any inter-dose symptoms with diazepam. I think you also said that you feel slightly intoxicated.
>
> If this is correct, I think you will be able to start reducing diazepam soon. The intoxicated feeling suggests that the diazepam dose is actually a bit too high, which should mean that it will be easy to reduce at first.
>
> Is the voice in your head any less intrusive today? It sounds awful.
>
>

trileptal 300 3x, morning hypomania seemingly gone, afternoon bad physical illness seemingly gone, and just a little depressive side
yesterday afternoon
yesterday was lyrica 175mgs 3x, and was planning on the same today. tomorrow, could i go to 200 3x a day? I tolerate fine, and it helps.
diaz 20mgs 3s a day, no interdose

Personally, i think the slight intoxicated feeling was/is from lyrica, i could be wrong. For sure felt no intoxication from 6mgs of xanax, which would be equivalent.
I know the sedated, drunk, depressive, irritable feeling from diaz, and this didn't feel like it.

My own voice in general, is a LITTLE less intrusive, repetetive, asnswering future questions, telling stories, running commentary, intrusive images etc.

At many times, i still wonder if i am bipolar, as diagnosed 2 times and need to dope myself on these drugs highly.

I remember being on a high dose of trileptal 1800 last winter, frantically calling my dr asking if we could go to the max, 2400 (maybe even on zyprexa too), and him saying fine, but i've never had a patient on that high of a dose, cause i was still having racing thoughts (mind you i was on 3mgs ativan for sleep, interdose could have been brutal and a big cause). thiking of times i needed 30mgs of zyprexa to drive. Times i needed 2000mgs of depakote to slow me enough to stay in a hotel alone. Albeit i was always a drugged up idiot and not happy, and as i tried to mention, saw ugly depressive existentially ugly things in the the environment, and disgust in people. I often wonder these things, and have an obsessional habit (muscle testing) to see/think if i am. Even though as i also mention, back from detox in middle east, and off of drugs, i felt great, only to have racing thoughts after 5 days, which could have been benzo wd, and much more withdrawal.

On the bright side, I found out that i would have inernet access in the mountains of california.

I had a great interview with a school in south korea yesterday, yeah yeah, i know, traveling to a foreign country and teaching in my state, albeit it's teaching english, and the curriculum is laid out, no teacher planning, i might actually enjoy it greatly, as even now, i love tutoring english online. Maybe having my own autonomay away from my parents. I don't know what would/could aggrivate this, and what could make it better.

As i saw my doc, kind of a jerk, i told him about my idea of going to the mountains in california, and he's like, let's get your stable first. And i'm like WHAT THE HELL IS STABLE???

Ok, i'll stop now

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 12:01:06

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 11:36:40

>yesterday was lyrica 175mgs 3x, and was planning on the same today. tomorrow, could i go to 200 3x a day? I tolerate fine, and it helps.

I think that would be OK.

I don't suppose you're driving at the moment, are you?


>Personally, i think the slight intoxicated feeling was/is from lyrica, i could be wrong. For sure felt no intoxication from 6mgs of xanax, which would be equivalent.

It could be from Lyrica, certainly. Xanax and diazepam are never quite 'equivalent' though, so it is possible that it's due to diazepam.

>I know the sedated, drunk, depressive, irritable feeling from diaz, and this didn't feel like it.

Meds can work differently in combination, so it could be from Lyrica and diazepam together.


>On the bright side, I found out that i would have inernet access in the mountains of california.

:)

>I had a great interview with a school in south korea yesterday, yeah yeah, i know, traveling to a foreign country and teaching in my state, albeit it's teaching english, and the curriculum is laid out, no teacher planning, i might actually enjoy it greatly, as even now, i love tutoring english online. Maybe having my own autonomy away from my parents. I don't know what would/could aggrivate this, and what could make it better.

When does the job start?

Once you're on Lyrica 600mg/day, I think you will be able to reduce your daily dose of diazepam by about 5-10mg. You could try taking 15mg - 15mg - 20mg or 20mg - 15mg - 20mg. I don't think the initial reduction will be particularly difficult because in percentage terms it's not a large reduction and also because your current dose is probably higher than you need to suppress withdrawal symptoms. After all, the 60mg/day starting dose was only an estimate.

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 12:04:01

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:33:36

> >Oh yeah, this last years brutal taper, where i had the most rare, severe, and uncommon withdrawal symptoms (perhaps that was MS), going from 30mgs to 17 was brutal. I think there were times where it was 1-2 mgs drops every two weeks.
> >
> > Not sure how i will do it this go round.
>
> Brian,
>
> What symptoms have you experienced which are definitely due to MS? You've not said much about the MS.
>
> I wouldn't expect that reducing by 1mg every two weeks would be brutal unless there was also something else going on. Like you say, this could have been to do with the MS.
>
>

Yeah, why the reducing 1mg every 2 weeks was outrageous was beyond me. not being able to leave the apt as i couldn't find my way back. i was in total shock, couldn't barely remember my roomies name. Would sit on the couch in pools of sweat, and do an obsessional habit. couldn't swallow food. Like i mentioned, tried to add an anticonvulsant, in able to slow down a bit, maybe help taper, and leave house, to have them basically give me a breakdown just from things i saw, heard, or someone even saying a word, would give me that existential angst/ugliness etc. My muscle deterioration was incredible, being reduced to nothing. Feeling like i was high, on acid, speed, etc. YES, something else was going on!!!!! Became EXTREMELY chemically sensitive. Tried to add any supplements, if it had any precursor to serotonin, such as tryptophan etc, would make me severely depressed, as SSRIs did/would. Or anything involving dopamine/norep would make me irritable as the psychotropic drugs would. not to mention my experience trying to add trileptal, depakote, tegretol, were horrific memories as well. Reminded me what it was like to see the world through ugly eyes again.

I began to feel like the craziest schizo person around.

Problem is, is that my WD symptoms mimic and are similar to MS symptoms, so what was what?

MS symptoms

vision problems, extreme blurry vision (this has subsided with injections) I'm talking at night, i literally could barely see, car head lights would extend from the ground, all the way to the sky, same as street lights

muscle weakness
muscle loss of tone/deterioration/atrophy
slurred speech/pressured speech (this one lead me to neurologist, along with me being unable to spell simple words)
muscle spasms, random, all day (has subsided with injections, perhaps addition of valium)
I would be up in the middle of the night having to stretch my hamstrings
sometimes issues swallowing
times i get bad chills/shivers
memory issues
male private part issues (my LEAST favorite symptoms, effects 80-90 percent of MS males, thank god for cialis)
would have bad electrical shocks in brain at night (could have been cold turkey, has subsided)
bad tremors in hands, could have been WD
I could not feel sensations in my limbs. EG, I went wandering off in the mountains (not really planning on coming back), only wearing sweats, shoes, jacket, and hat, sludging through snow for hours, i literally could feel NO cold in my legs or feet.

The list could probably go on.

I'm supposed to see the neurolosist on the 13th. don't know what to say. i'm not a big fan of his, just as my PDOC

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 12:11:22

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 8:49:23

But then you look at things like these

http://www.benzo.org.uk/morelistz.htm


The following symptoms may emerge during gradual dosage reduction but can usually be reduced in intensity or eliminated altogether by reducing the rate of reduction:

* Anxiety, possible terror and panic attacks[37][40]
* Agitation and restlessness[37]
* Hypochondriasis[37]
* Dilated pupils[5]
* Impaired concentration[40]
* Nightmares[41]
* Insomnia[41]
* Muscular spasms, cramps or fasciculations[42]
* Electric shock sensations[4][43]
* Blurred vision[37]
* Dizziness[37]
* Dry mouth[37]
* Aches and pains[37]
* Hearing impairment[37]
* Taste and smell disturbances[37]
* Chest pain[37]
* Flu like symptoms[37]
* Impaired memory and concentration[37]
* Increased sensitivity to sound[37]
* Increased urinary frequency[37]
* Numbness and tingling[37]
* Hot and cold flushes[37]
* Headache[40]
* Rebound REM sleep[44]
* Stiffness[37]
* Fatigue and weakness[37]
* Hyperosmia[45]
* Restless legs syndrome[11]
* Metallic taste[45]
* Photophobia[45]
* Paranoia[45]
* Hypnagogia-hallucinations[6]
* Nausea and vomiting[41]
* Elevation in blood pressure[46]
* Tachycardia[47]
* Hypertension[48]
* Postural hypotension[41]
* Depression (can be severe),[49][50] possible suicidal ideation
* Tremor[51][52]
* Perspiration[40]
* Loss of appetite and weight loss[53]
* Dysphoria[54][55]
* Depersonalization[56][57]
* Derealisation (Feelings of unreality)[58]
* Obsessive compulsive disorder[59][60]
* Tinnitus[61]
* Paraesthesia[45][57]
* Visual disturbances[57]
* Mood swings[37]
* Indecision[37]
* Gastrointestinal problems (Irritable bowel syndrome)[62][63][64]

An abrupt or over-rapid discontinuation of benzodiazepines may result in a more serious and very unpleasant withdrawal syndrome that may additionally result in:

* Convulsions, which may result in death[65][66]
* Catatonia, which may result in death[67][68][69]
* Coma[70] (rare)
* Suicide[3][71][72]
* Attempted suicide[57]
* Suicidal ideation[73]
* Self harm[57]
* Hyperthermia[41]
* Delusions[74]
* Homicide ideations[75]
* Urges to shout, throw, break things or to harm someone[37]
* Violence[76]
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder[11]
* Organic brain syndrome[77]
* Psychosis[78][79]
* Confusion[36]
* Mania[80][81]
* Neuroleptic malignant syndrome like event[82] (rare)
* Delirium tremens[83][84][85

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 12:17:08

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 12:04:01

What type of MS have you been diagnosed with? Will you be getting any other treatment apart from the Copaxone? I assume these meds are covered by insurance. I honestly don't know how things work in the USA.

>male private part issues (my LEAST favorite symptoms, effects 80-90 percent of MS males, thank god for cialis)

You feel like sex at the moment?!

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 12:23:45

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 12:01:06

> >yesterday was lyrica 175mgs 3x, and was planning on the same today. tomorrow, could i go to 200 3x a day? I tolerate fine, and it helps.
>
> I think that would be OK.
>
> I don't suppose you're driving at the moment, are you?
>
>
> >Personally, i think the slight intoxicated feeling was/is from lyrica, i could be wrong. For sure felt no intoxication from 6mgs of xanax, which would be equivalent.
>
> It could be from Lyrica, certainly. Xanax and diazepam are never quite 'equivalent' though, so it is possible that it's due to diazepam.
>
> >I know the sedated, drunk, depressive, irritable feeling from diaz, and this didn't feel like it.
>
> Meds can work differently in combination, so it could be from Lyrica and diazepam together.
>
>
> >On the bright side, I found out that i would have inernet access in the mountains of california.
>
> :)
>
> >I had a great interview with a school in south korea yesterday, yeah yeah, i know, traveling to a foreign country and teaching in my state, albeit it's teaching english, and the curriculum is laid out, no teacher planning, i might actually enjoy it greatly, as even now, i love tutoring english online. Maybe having my own autonomy away from my parents. I don't know what would/could aggrivate this, and what could make it better.
>
> When does the job start?
>
> Once you're on Lyrica 600mg/day, I think you will be able to reduce your daily dose of diazepam by about 5-10mg. You could try taking 15mg - 15mg - 20mg or 20mg - 15mg - 20mg. I don't think the initial reduction will be particularly difficult because in percentage terms it's not a large reduction and also because your current dose is probably higher than you need to suppress withdrawal symptoms. After all, the 60mg/day starting dose was only an estimate.
>
>
>
>

Once again Ed, you are too kind and considerate.

I don't think that any amount of benzo could cover what my wd symptoms are/were.

Nope, license suspended after DUI last year, which was that moment that realized that the drugs were ruining my life and well being. It was my disgust of being on high dose trileptal and 30mgs of zyprexa (which gives me blackouts sometimes), i tried to tell the judge that, he didn't care

I could drive, but it would cost 300 dollars to get my license back, don't think it's in the cards,

Will go to 600mgs lyrica tomorrow.

Do you think hold 900 trileptal, or any plans of increasing this?

The teaching job in korea could begin in perhaps 2 months, maybe good timing? Like i said, something in my heart/intuition is telling me something dramatic need/is going to happen soon. I've failed so many times in my life with jobs and other things (think abraham lincoln LMAO), that i don't care what happens any more. After these experiences, things like death i have no fear of anymore, which perhaps is always a great subconscious anxiety driver for people. Sometimes i have this thought, maybe delusion, that after suffering this, and going through this, that i'm on the brink of enlightenment LMAO.

In your heart of hearts, think I need off the benzo, and that it's the problem Ed???????

I believe PDOC said hold it at least 2 weeks, and maybe on it long term, but i should give a crap what that guy says. I've worked with him for more than 2 years, and see how far he has gotten me.
I think sometimes taking your health into your own hands, and of knowledgeable persons (ED), is a much greater idea than giving that over to people who barely know you, just wanna see you for 30 mins every month, and hand you out drugs.

Brian

 

Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?

Posted by qbsbrown on April 5, 2010, at 12:31:05

In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by ed_uk2010 on April 5, 2010, at 12:17:08

> What type of MS have you been diagnosed with? Will you be getting any other treatment apart from the Copaxone? I assume these meds are covered by insurance. I honestly don't know how things work in the USA.
>
> >male private part issues (my LEAST favorite symptoms, effects 80-90 percent of MS males, thank god for cialis)
>
> You feel like sex at the moment?!

LMAO.

Like I said Ed, I am addicted to the women, and even during the psychosis, the charisma runs rampant, more sex has been going on now, than ever in my life combined (probably TMI for persons on this board), and even my PDOC is blown away by this fact. Maybe subconsciously it was a drive/desire to procreate, then leave the world, move on to the next realm, which i was told/thought often.

LUCKILY, I get the Copaxone for FREE. On it's own, guess how much it costs, $3,500 per month. I do not know if the Dr will want to add any more drugs/treatments. Perhaps a steriod during a serious flare up, and what else, i dunno.

Brian


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