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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on February 1, 2005, at 11:28:57
If there were a God, he would let me die now because I have had enough of all this. ENOUGH!!
I don't want to try anything else. Enough already. Just let me off this planet and let me be at peace.
Amen.
Maxime
Posted by babak on February 1, 2005, at 12:30:34
In reply to Why don't I just die?, posted by Maxime on February 1, 2005, at 11:28:57
I know what you mean. I have been suffering for fifteen years now.
Posted by jujube on February 1, 2005, at 12:47:30
In reply to Why don't I just die?, posted by Maxime on February 1, 2005, at 11:28:57
I don't know what to say except that you can't give up yet. It is not your time yet. You have been through so much, and I know it must be hard to believe or even continue to have hope that things will get better. But please try to hold on to some sliver of strength and hope, if not for yourself then for those who love you and care about you. I know this will sound stupid, especially with all you have been through and continue to go through, but these first two months of the year, I find, can really compound feelings of despair. I know that longer days and more sunshine are not going to send your depression into remission, but sometimes these things help us better cope with our feelings our despair.
With respect to treatment, I had come across in my reading that augmenting a MAOI with a TCA is used sometimes in treatment resistant depressions. There is a person on this board who recently added, if I am remembering right, Nortriptyline to Parnate.
My thoughts are with you. Please do not lose hope yet.
Tamara
> If there were a God, he would let me die now because I have had enough of all this. ENOUGH!!
>
> I don't want to try anything else. Enough already. Just let me off this planet and let me be at peace.
>
> Amen.
>
> Maxime
Posted by Spriggy on February 1, 2005, at 14:03:30
In reply to Re: Why don't I just die? » Maxime, posted by jujube on February 1, 2005, at 12:47:30
Never in my life have I found myself weeping uncontrollably and just aching and longing for death.. So I understand.
I suppose we just want out of our pain and death seems like a peaceful solution.
I have just had to tell myself that God, for whatever reason, has allowed this in my life. Maybe so I can relate to other's suffering- I've never known depression before until this past month.
I had no idea how helpless and hopeless and desperate and weak it makes one feel. I do now.I just have to trust God will get me out of this eventually and He will use me to help other's who have this same pain.
Try to focus on what your life will be like once this time has passed. You won't be in this pit forever!
I am praying for you.
Posted by Phillipa on February 1, 2005, at 17:19:49
In reply to Re: Why don't I just die?, posted by Spriggy on February 1, 2005, at 14:03:30
I've had it for 8 years. Not being able to be alone, work, etc. You have other options open to you. I know I feel like I don't want to get up each morning, but I do. If I could sleep I probably wouldn't. Keep trying meds, we care. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by reefer on February 3, 2005, at 5:14:01
In reply to Why don't I just die?, posted by Maxime on February 1, 2005, at 11:28:57
Actually i came to the same conclusion but then again i didn't really wanna die. So what i did was starting myself on Buprenorphine a partial opiod agonist/antagonist. I've tried a lot of meds also and since my doc wont prescribe me Buprenorphine i just buy Subutex 8 mg pills from opiate addicts on the street for $15 a pill which lasts me around 7 - 14 days. I use it by the nasal route, have to be careful here not taking to much before you learn how much to take. Note that a 8 mg Subutex pill is the same as 40 Temgesic 0.2 mg tablets. So one tablet equals about 40 doses for me. I dont develop tolerance to it but when i feel the dose doesn't do much i just take a brake for 2 - 3 days and feel like sh*t until the drug holiday is over and i get on it again. It has come to the point were i dont really care if the doc prescribes it or if i get it myself. I still dont wanna do full opioid agonists cause of the rapid tolerance development and sedation they cause. Buprenorphine is the ONLY thing i've ever tried that actually works long term and only gives mild withdrawals(compared to the benzo i'm tapering off) when stopped. My life isn't by any means perfect now or even near that but at least i go out and have fun with my friends and i'm running my own company which is going pretty well at the moment. Somehow it takes a lot of fear away and this makes me work better. The fear would be best described as a combo of depression and anxiety. And also if i would become addicted i wont be treted as a heroin addict. Rather they would just treat me as someone addicted to medications which is far more accepted. At least where i live. So if you wanna go last resort i can strongly recommend Bupe. I'm still trying different other medicine combos with my doctor, so if i find something that works i'll get off the Bupe. Until then i just dont care.. I'll stay on what keeps me feeling well.
This is the end of the thread.
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