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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Ron Hill on March 21, 2002, at 0:57:05
In reply to Help me please...., posted by Rrissa1317 on March 20, 2002, at 17:02:09
What is you dx? Are you working with a pdoc or just a GP?
-- Ron
-------------------------------------------> I tried Celexa with no results. Switched to Effexor. Gained 10 pounds in 2 months so I'm going off it. No real improvement. But going off it is interesting. I get this "buzzing" feeling in my hands, feet and lips. Of course I'm trying to do it twice as fast as they suggested. Was on 150mg. Doc suggested I go to 75 for a week, then to 37.5 for a week. I cut that in half. I was ballooning out of my clothes too fast. Gotta get that crap out of my system. Going to try Wellbutrin next I suppose. I've been depressed as far back in my 39 years as I can remember. I'm starting to think they don't make a med to handle my warped head. Tried Prozac, left me totally emotionless. Paxil gave me a mini psychotic breakdown. Anyone got any suggestions for me? I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not the one that needs fixing. It might be all these flippin' happy people that are warped....grin
Posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 16:40:40
In reply to Re: dealing with the loss of friends? - Jannbeau, posted by JANNBEAU on March 20, 2002, at 16:55:26
The Serenity Prayer, why yes!
i actually have the little black book "Twenty Four Hours A Day" For 6 years straight (in my 20's i read it). Thanks Jannbeau i must need it again so i will start to read it once again (even though it is the same prayer for the same day every year - for me it always meant something different and i could tell how much i grew by my thought process while reading it.
If it is ok i would like to share today's prayer entry "I pray that God may be with me in my journey through the world. I pray that I may know that God is planning my journey." To me that means always have hope and even if we don't like where we are right now, remember everything is for a reason.
The 24 Hour Day Book of course!
The book i related to for healing myself is "You Can Heal Your Life". To me you must have strong belief in yourself and a willingness to hold on and keep meditating until "you get it" (the best way for me to express it)
The other books i have been drawn to (they actually come to me) are:
Conversations with God Books 1 & 2
Celestine Phrophecy
In The Meantime/One Day My Soul Just Opened Up - these books really put it into prospective for me with the combination of "You can..." hey i sound like a dr. dispensing medicine! but with these books they helped me shape and still shape who i am today and still to become.The Tao of Pooh / The Te of Piglet - i found these books break down the type of people we are quite simply and honestly (i believe i am the rabbit)
These books might not be for everyone but they certainly helped me along the way!
I would like to share something i wrote today with the words of Sarah McLauchlin:
The winter year's cold and bitter, it chills us to the bone. Haven't seen the sun for weeks to long too far from home (our soul?). Feels just like i'm sinking and i claw for solid ground (the state we get into?), pulled down by the undertow(heightened awareness?) never thought i could feel so low. In all the darkness i feel like letting go (giving up on life/ourselves?).
All of the strength all of the courage come and lift me from this place (god/universe/angels?) I know i can love you much better than this (ourselves?) full of grace, full of grace, my love.
It's better this way, I haven't seen this place before ("the real world?"), with everything we say and do hurts us all the more, it's just that we stay to long in this same old sickly skin (same experiences daily, weekly, monthly?) pulled down by the undertow (our state of being?) never thought i could feel so low. In all the darkness i feel like letting go.
All of the strength, all of the courage come and lift me from this place i know i can love you much better than this, full of grace(full of god's strength to heal ourselves and those around us?).
I know I can love you much better than this; its better this way..........
Sarah McLachlan / Surfacing / Full of Grace
( ) My interpretation of this song
Grace - God's free and undeserved favor to and love for mankind; the infulence of God operating in man to improve or strengthen him (taken from the Gage Canadian Dictionary)
I strongly suggest listening to this song with Sarah's beautiful and soulfoul voice singing this masterpiece! If you have Napstar or something like it you should really download this beautiful song.
While in this state right now (this morning right now all ok!) (not quite sure if i have climaxed yet or not ha ha) I am soooo aware of my thoughts and feelings that i must write them out.
While here -- i go into a state of not caring, i want to just be my myself even away from my beautiful family (husband, 10 year old son, 5 month old daughter)
I don't eat - food repluses me - I only eat enough to survive through this (my therapist and I did discover it is a way of me hurting myself because deep down i still don't quite love me and want to punish my self for being here on earth - i also say sorry a lot. I do know that food gives energy and life and when i finally do eat i am reminded of that once again, but instead of doing the sensible thing like eat, I smoke a lot and drink Tim Horton's French Vanilla Cappuccino (if ever in Canada you must go to a Timmy's).
I see all the "short comings" in those around me and get very irate.
When out in public, I don't quite "connect" with people, I feel like I am outside looking in....(reminds me of the little match girl)
I need to be loved, I need to be listened to, and even if you don't think what i am saying makes sense all i want you to do is just listen.
I hurt all over, my head, my back, my stomach, and full of cramps, very, very, tired.
This has just made a world of difference to me!
peace Shanti
Posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:02:56
In reply to Re: Angel, could you pls check in with us! » Angel Girl, posted by Reneeb on March 20, 2002, at 22:11:34
>
> Hi Angel, I think you are absolutely right on! What I was trying to say is that it seemed like yu were taking all the blame and I was saying that they need to take responsiblity for how they treated you. I do not think you are selfish at all. You know Angel, we can't change anyone but ourselves and if you have expressed you feeling to your friends and they choose to stay away then as far as I am concerned its their lose. From reading your posts I think you are a very passionate and caring person and I can relate to friends that don't understand. I have found so much understanding here and hopefully some wonderful new friendships and my prayer for you is that you find the same thing and I hope I can be one of those friends that really do care about you and how you are feeling.
>
> Hope to talk soon,
>
> Take care
>
> Renee
Hi ReneeThanks for answering my questions. My friends can't seem to see anything other than their own feelings and what I have done to them by my actions. I accept my responsibility for that and I'm very sorry and have told them. One of them told me that I don't deserve to have my feelings acknowledged. :( And the other one has yet to even mention anything but her own feelings. That really hurts me. I'm really suffering with all this hurt and anger I have right now. I don't know how to get rid of it.
I'm hoping to make some new friends here too and I would be honored to include you as one of my friends. <hugs> I feel like this is a haven for all of us to listen to each other, try to help and comfort everyone that comes here. Here we will not be judged by our actions and emotions because we can feel each other's pain and joys. Unfortunately when we're not here we are not embraced the same way. :(
Angel Girl
Posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:08:28
In reply to PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by Reneeb on March 20, 2002, at 22:20:32
> Hi Guys, I know that if we don't move some of these converstations over to social-babble Dr. Bob will redirect us soon. What do you think??
>
> Renee
Hi ReneeOoops!!! Guess I didn't know we couldn't have these kind of conversations here. I'm really new here. Sorry Dr. Bob. :(
Where and what is social babble???? <confused> Is it a message board like this or a chat room??? And how do I get there??? Needing some guidance here please.
Angel Girl
Posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:17:12
In reply to Help me please...., posted by Rrissa1317 on March 20, 2002, at 17:02:09
> I tried Celexa with no results. Switched to Effexor. Gained 10 pounds in 2 months so I'm going off it. No real improvement. But going off it is interesting. I get this "buzzing" feeling in my hands, feet and lips. Of course I'm trying to do it twice as fast as they suggested. Was on 150mg. Doc suggested I go to 75 for a week, then to 37.5 for a week. I cut that in half. I was ballooning out of my clothes too fast. Gotta get that crap out of my system. Going to try Wellbutrin next I suppose. I've been depressed as far back in my 39 years as I can remember. I'm starting to think they don't make a med to handle my warped head. Tried Prozac, left me totally emotionless. Paxil gave me a mini psychotic breakdown. Anyone got any suggestions for me? I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not the one that needs fixing. It might be all these flippin' happy people that are warped....grin
Hi Rrissa
Sorry you're having a hard time finding the right medication. :( I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you, hopefully somebody else will.
Had to smile at your comment about the flippin happy people being warped. Needing to find something to bring a smile to our faces. Thanks!
Hoping you find the right medication soon. <hugs>
Angel Girl
Posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:40:04
In reply to Re: Help me please...., posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:17:12
I'm on Effexor XR 267.5mg a day. How do you know when you're on the right AD and/or the right dosage? Although I'm ALOT better than I was even a month ago at a lower dosage, I still have alot of emotions and sadness to deal with.
What can I expect from an anti-depressant??? How should it make me feel? How do I know when it's working??? <very confused>
Thanks,
Angel Girl
Posted by JANNBEAU on March 21, 2002, at 18:47:34
In reply to PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by Reneeb on March 20, 2002, at 22:20:32
> Hi Guys, I know that if we don't move some of these converstations over to social-babble Dr. Bob will redirect us soon. What do you think??
>
> ReneeHi, Renee, Yeah, you are right! We're getting WAY off the subject of medications, but, as usual, I can't figure out how to get over to Psychosocial Babble or to find you all again. Dr Bob gave me a link once, but I've lost it. Please re-enter the link for all of us. Then, as Shanti says, we can all meet over there!
Thanks, and, hopefully, see you with this thread over the way.
Jannbeau
Posted by Rrissa1317 on March 21, 2002, at 19:18:46
In reply to Re: Help me please.... » Rrissa1317, posted by Ron Hill on March 21, 2002, at 0:57:05
well this time around it's just a GP. I've run the gamut of psychs and therapists with about as much success as the meds
Posted by Rrissa1317 on March 21, 2002, at 19:21:15
In reply to going off both effexor and wellbutrin...now!, posted by maximillian on March 20, 2002, at 17:34:32
I tried to go off the effexor too fast. Don't do that. Go at least a week at 150. Then a week at 75 then a week at 37.5. Stay longer if you start having the withdrawal crap. It's no fun....
Posted by Rrissa1317 on March 21, 2002, at 19:23:38
In reply to Re: Help me please...., posted by JANNBEAU on March 20, 2002, at 17:46:01
Not until society learns that, just because we aren't always perky and happy, we don't necessarily need fixing
Posted by lolly on March 21, 2002, at 19:25:16
In reply to Re: withdrawing from effexor - angel girl-celexa, posted by Angel Girl on March 20, 2002, at 16:27:15
> > angel girl,
> > thanks! just got back from the doc and i'll be trying to dose down off the effexor while building up on celexa. i'm up for whatever happens because these side affects aren't worth it. knowing i can catch up with everyone here for help or just to chat is a great relief.
> > lolly
> > ps
> > anyone know anything about celexa?
>
>
>
> Hi lolly
>
> I didn't realize you were switching to another AD. Hope it goes well for you. What side effects were you having with the Effexor??? I was on Celexa before the Effexor and it did nothing for me. But we all have different reactions. Hope it works for you. Keep us updated.
>
> Peace,
> Angel Girlangel girl,
you mean which ones didn't i have. for two years i've done very well, the last two months not so. i have no energy, can't go to sleep or wake up, bad rash on my shoulders, night sweats and really strange vivid dreams. thats not all, but the worst. my mom has a problem of building a resistance or allergic reaction over a period of time, i hope i'm not going to be that way also. the effexor was pretty good except i never really felt happy. i used to be happy. some day soon!!!!
lolly
Posted by Rrissa1317 on March 21, 2002, at 19:27:21
In reply to PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by Reneeb on March 20, 2002, at 22:20:32
I don't know. I'm new here, so I don't have a clue
Posted by lolly on March 21, 2002, at 19:39:52
In reply to Re: going off both effexor and wellbutrin...now! » maximillian, posted by Reneeb on March 20, 2002, at 21:01:40
> > today is my last day on wellbutrin...threw the last four in the toilet...that was 150mg's twice daily...i will continue to take effexor twice daily @ 150mg. then cut back to 150mg. i'm off this stuff. no fun. i guess i'll get ready for the ride. any thoughts, fellow posters??????????
> >
> > max
>
>
> Hi Max, Please take it slow with the effexor!!! I have been weaning myself off them myself. I tried stopping it and that was horrible. Why are you getting off wellbutrin?
>
>
> Renee
max,
take it easy with that stuff! i dropped down 1/2 on my effexor awhile back and just about lost it. if you start feeling angry add a little back in. after 2 days of 1/2 dose i had rages at the drop of a hat. i only lasted 4 days before i realized what was going on. the withdrawls from this stuff are horrible. hang in there, i'm following along at 3/4(75+37.5) dose for awhile so let me know how you're doing.
lolly
Posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 19:44:26
In reply to Re: withdrawing from effexor - angel girl-celexa, posted by lolly on March 21, 2002, at 19:25:16
> angel girl,
> you mean which ones didn't i have. for two years i've done very well, the last two months not so. i have no energy, can't go to sleep or wake up, bad rash on my shoulders, night sweats and really strange vivid dreams. thats not all, but the worst. my mom has a problem of building a resistance or allergic reaction over a period of time, i hope i'm not going to be that way also. the effexor was pretty good except i never really felt happy. i used to be happy. some day soon!!!!
> lolly
Hi lollyI have lots of side effects too on the Effexor XR. With every dosage increase comes new ones.
Are ADs supposed to make you feel 'happy'???? It's not doing that for me. It is definitely giving me alot of relief from my severe depression but happy???? Not in the least.
Actually, what is happy???? That's not an emotion of which I have any experience. :(
Angel Girl
Posted by lolly on March 21, 2002, at 20:04:27
In reply to Re: withdrawing from effexor -celexa - lolly, posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 19:44:26
angel girl,
does anyone know what happy is???????
i just know that there are things i used to love to do like fishing, hiking, exploring and playing in the mudd(not that long ago) and they don't make me feel excited anymore. i'm only 33 and i don't want life to be this lifeless for the next 60+ years!!!!!! there has to be a way to get back some of those feelings. I got to do something this summer that very few people will ever get to do in their lives and i just couldn't get as excited about it as i should have been. it was the opportunity of my life and i took full advantage of it but the "umph" wasn't there. i realize there is no such thing as a happy pill, i guess i thought finding the medication to control my depression would include bringing that back to me. more soul searching and maybe, just maybe, i'll find that i've only missplaced it. anyway, hope the effexor works for you, my doc says her other patients are haveing great success with it.
thanks for your'e input, you made me actually think today.
lolly
Posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 20:53:16
In reply to Re: PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by JANNBEAU on March 21, 2002, at 18:47:34
> > Hi Guys, I know that if we don't move some of these converstations over to social-babble Dr. Bob will redirect us soon. What do you think??
> >
> > Renee
>
> Hi, Renee, Yeah, you are right! We're getting WAY off the subject of medications, but, as usual, I can't figure out how to get over to Psychosocial Babble or to find you all again. Dr Bob gave me a link once, but I've lost it. Please re-enter the link for all of us. Then, as Shanti says, we can all meet over there!
>
> Thanks, and, hopefully, see you with this thread over the way.
>
> Jannbeaui just tried to find my way and the only thing that came up was the page about the chat room...??
anyone out there know how to get on?
peace
shanti
Posted by Reneeb on March 21, 2002, at 21:50:59
In reply to Re: PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 20:53:16
> > > Hi Guys, I know that if we don't move some of these converstations over to social-babble Dr. Bob will redirect us soon. What do you think??
> > >
> > > Renee
> >
> > Hi, Renee, Yeah, you are right! We're getting WAY off the subject of medications, but, as usual, I can't figure out how to get over to Psychosocial Babble or to find you all again. Dr Bob gave me a link once, but I've lost it. Please re-enter the link for all of us. Then, as Shanti says, we can all meet over there!
> >
> > Thanks, and, hopefully, see you with this thread over the way.
> >
> > Jannbeau
>
> i just tried to find my way and the only thing that came up was the page about the chat room...??
>
> anyone out there know how to get on?
>
> peace
> shantiHi Guys, you will find it when you first enter the site it gives yu highlighted options and pyscho social babble is one option.
Renee
Posted by SueDoeN on March 21, 2002, at 21:57:40
In reply to Re: PLEASE READ THIS ! , posted by JANNBEAU on March 21, 2002, at 18:47:34
Posted by Reneeb on March 21, 2002, at 21:59:59
In reply to How do you know?, posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:40:04
> I'm on Effexor XR 267.5mg a day. How do you know when you're on the right AD and/or the right dosage? Although I'm ALOT better than I was even a month ago at a lower dosage, I still have alot of emotions and sadness to deal with.
>
> What can I expect from an anti-depressant??? How should it make me feel? How do I know when it's working??? <very confused>
>
> Thanks,
>
> Angel Girl
Hi Angel, all I can tell you about is my experience with AD's. I was put on effexor 150mg and wellbutrin 150mg for over a year now. I felt the effexor kick in rather fast maybe 2 weeks. Now that I am weaning off effexor I can say that it made me feel almost numb to my feelings and very tired. I didn't cry/or laugh/or yell etc., actually I really just existed. When I first started to wean myself off effexor I couldn't believe how much more energy I got back. I am staying on the wellbutrin for right now because I like it and hasn't caused me any negative effects yet?!hope this helps
Renee
Posted by Reneeb on March 21, 2002, at 22:05:07
In reply to Re: Help me please...., posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:17:12
> > I tried Celexa with no results. Switched to Effexor. Gained 10 pounds in 2 months so I'm going off it. No real improvement. But going off it is interesting. I get this "buzzing" feeling in my hands, feet and lips. Of course I'm trying to do it twice as fast as they suggested. Was on 150mg. Doc suggested I go to 75 for a week, then to 37.5 for a week. I cut that in half. I was ballooning out of my clothes too fast. Gotta get that crap out of my system. Going to try Wellbutrin next I suppose. I've been depressed as far back in my 39 years as I can remember. I'm starting to think they don't make a med to handle my warped head. Tried Prozac, left me totally emotionless. Paxil gave me a mini psychotic breakdown. Anyone got any suggestions for me? I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not the one that needs fixing. It might be all these flippin' happy people that are warped....grin
>
>
>
> Hi Rrissa
>
> Sorry you're having a hard time finding the right medication. :( I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you, hopefully somebody else will.
>
> Had to smile at your comment about the flippin happy people being warped. Needing to find something to bring a smile to our faces. Thanks!
>
> Hoping you find the right medication soon. <hugs>
>
> Angel GirlHi Rrissa, I hear ya! I hate what effexor has done to me also.
Good luck,
Renee
Posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 22:06:42
In reply to Go to P-B homepage, scroll down link is at bottom (nm) » JANNBEAU, posted by SueDoeN on March 21, 2002, at 21:58:19
ok i'm trying right now;
shanti
Posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 22:19:05
In reply to Re: Go to P-B homepage, scroll down link is at bottom, posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 22:06:42
> ok i'm trying right now;
> shantii'm lost......
i see short messages from beardedlady, so on and so fourth so i started a new thread there is that it?
Posted by Shanti on March 21, 2002, at 22:26:28
In reply to Go to P-B homepage, scroll down link is at bottom (nm) » JANNBEAU, posted by SueDoeN on March 21, 2002, at 21:58:19
i think i'm in the social room does it take this long for responses?
shanti
Posted by Penny on March 22, 2002, at 8:18:55
In reply to How do you know?, posted by Angel Girl on March 21, 2002, at 17:40:04
> I'm on Effexor XR 267.5mg a day. How do you know when you're on the right AD and/or the right dosage? Although I'm ALOT better than I was even a month ago at a lower dosage, I still have alot of emotions and sadness to deal with.
>
> What can I expect from an anti-depressant??? How should it make me feel? How do I know when it's working??? <very confused>
>
> Thanks,
>
> Angel Girl
Good question. I've been wondering the same thing. I was on 225 mgs of Effexor XR for about a year and, like Reneeb, realized how numbing it was when I went off of it. I'm on 80 mgs of Celexa and 300 mgs of Wellbutrin right now, and can't say it's doing a whole lot. I've also taken a Paxil/Wellbutrin combo, and it didn't do much either, except that they all seem, for a little while, to get me out of suicidal mode. The closest I've come to feeling 'normal' was on the Effexor, but I was very flat, tho' definitely not suicidal.My second pdoc would ask me how I was feeling, and I would tell him "okay" and he would say "How okay?" and I would say "Well, I don't want to kill myself right now." To that he would respond that he would like to see me at a better level of wellness and feeling 'good.' I told him I didn't think I knew what that was, not sure I've ever experienced it! So now, I think it's all subjective. The ADs aren't going to get rid of life's problems, but I suppose you are on the right one/right dosage when you feel okay with it. That's what I'm hoping for, at least. I would like to get to a place where I'm not wishing at least once a day that I was dead. I'm not there yet, and I'm not sure it's possible. I'll be interested to see what others have to say about your question.
Best of luck.
Penny
Posted by Shanti on March 22, 2002, at 9:35:31
In reply to Re: How do you know? » Angel Girl, posted by Penny on March 22, 2002, at 8:18:55
> > I'm on Effexor XR 267.5mg a day. How do you know when you're on the right AD and/or the right dosage? Although I'm ALOT better than I was even a month ago at a lower dosage, I still have alot of emotions and sadness to deal with.
> >
> > What can I expect from an anti-depressant??? How should it make me feel? How do I know when it's working??? <very confused>
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Angel Girl
>
>
> Good question. I've been wondering the same thing. I was on 225 mgs of Effexor XR for about a year and, like Reneeb, realized how numbing it was when I went off of it. I'm on 80 mgs of Celexa and 300 mgs of Wellbutrin right now, and can't say it's doing a whole lot. I've also taken a Paxil/Wellbutrin combo, and it didn't do much either, except that they all seem, for a little while, to get me out of suicidal mode. The closest I've come to feeling 'normal' was on the Effexor, but I was very flat, tho' definitely not suicidal.
>
> My second pdoc would ask me how I was feeling, and I would tell him "okay" and he would say "How okay?" and I would say "Well, I don't want to kill myself right now." To that he would respond that he would like to see me at a better level of wellness and feeling 'good.' I told him I didn't think I knew what that was, not sure I've ever experienced it! So now, I think it's all subjective. The ADs aren't going to get rid of life's problems, but I suppose you are on the right one/right dosage when you feel okay with it. That's what I'm hoping for, at least. I would like to get to a place where I'm not wishing at least once a day that I was dead. I'm not there yet, and I'm not sure it's possible. I'll be interested to see what others have to say about your question.
>
> Best of luck.
> Pennyangel girl first;
where are you we would like to hear from you?
penny;
don't give up it also takes a willingness in your mind to do this as well and that is the hardest part but you can do it, right now i am experiencing mine but with the help of the friends i have found here and writing out my feelings i feel a little better than the last episode (actually it feels a lot worse but i believe that it must feel this way in order to be one step closer to healing and feeling better)
i had a revelation this morning - while going through this i always look to those around for support as i feel i am drowning but i am not getting it in my eyes but you know what? it hit me this morning (and after talking with my therapist yesterday - thank you) that i can't look for them to solve this i must go deeper within myself and have me- bring me back to my "reality world" so to speak.
i hope this helps
peace
your friend
shantips we are going to try and go to the social room tonight at 11:00 pm eastern hope to see you there!
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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