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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
Does anyone else have anxiety when the phone rings?
I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety last September(for the second time.
I get very agitated and do not want to talk,and if I have to return a call I fine it almost impossible!!
CjayP.S This was just the case, I feel sick to my stomach and shaky and I can't seem to get over it(it does not matter who is calling even one of my kids)
Posted by dana on June 27, 2001, at 19:28:17
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
Hi cjay,
..can I suggest that it appears that you have somehow 'connected' the sound of the phone ringing to your being diagnosed with anxiety and depression.When I had my first panic attack a couple of years ago, I was in my kitchen at a certain spot...........now it is no problem for me to be in that spot, but while battling with my illnes, I would try to avoid standing any where near it.........as if being in that spot would bring up the panic attacks again for me.......
It's part of the OBSESSIVE cycle of thinking....and through Cognitive therapy I have learned to retrain my thinking...... which mostly works now........... NOTHING DANGEROUS IS GOING ON HERE......... it's JUST THE PHONE RINGING.......
Did you get some bad news around the time of you being diagnosed ??........ Did the phone ring and it was someone with bad news ??............... it is just so easy to connect to certain events or situations and become obsessive about it...
can you change the RING tone on your phone ??... but I guess therapists would say that that is 'avoidance'.......so maybe don't go there............
It's learning how to break the cycle of thinking......... de-sensitising yourself to the sound of the phone............ is it the thought that there may be bad news on the other end ??....is that what happens........... and sets you off on a cycle of trembling.....
Maybe you just don't want to have to talk.... then DON'T until you are go and ready........don't put pressure on yourself......
hope this isn't too jumbled up......
Dana
Posted by geekUK on June 27, 2001, at 20:42:57
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
I hate the phone ringing,
sometimes because i hate the idea of having to be talkative for X amount of time, and sometimes because i want people to leave me the hell alone and stop giving me bad news!
when pritty down i often become almost agraphobic (sp) stay in a bubble and try not to float off.
Posted by kazoo on June 28, 2001, at 1:17:44
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:04:05
> Does anyone else have anxiety when the phone rings?
^^^^^^^^^I get anxious when it *doesn't* ring (meaning: nobody is interested enough in calling me).
Also, may I suggest you get a different sounding ringer? A softer one, perhaps, or maybe even a unit with a small blinking light for incoming calls. In fact, I knew someone that had a "talking phone," one which would announce in a very soft, mellow voice: "Incoming call, incoming call...", but that didn't last very long since the unit was flung out the window of a high-rise in NYC.
It's that confounded jangling of the bells, those bells, THOSE BELLS, that drive people loopy.
kazoo
Posted by PuraVida on June 28, 2001, at 3:37:46
In reply to Re: Telephone anxiety » cjay, posted by kazoo on June 28, 2001, at 1:17:44
I get both - at different times.
Worried (lonely) when it doesn't ring, but, when I'm really down, I hate it when it does. Then I want to be in my hole. I used to be in sales/cust service from home - every call meant a lot of bother. Even now, I have 10 mssgs saved on my VM because I haven't completely taken care of the mssg! You are not alone. Answer when you want, you are in control. Caller ID is pretty cool, too - saves me a lot of anxiety.
Posted by Maisy on June 28, 2001, at 7:09:03
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
I agree with dana. This is the way that phobias develop. Say you had a panic attack while driving. Afterwards, you become tense whenever driving. Pretty soon a phobia develops about driving. Try to think of a reason why the phone triggers this response in you. Are you afraid of having an attack while talking with someone? What is the worse thing that can happen? These are the type of things that cognitive behavioral therapy may help you with. I don't see a pdoc but I read a lot of things about how to help myself. There are a lot of books out there on how to stop the cycle of negative thinking in depressives. Good luck to you.
Posted by Noa on June 28, 2001, at 10:55:22
In reply to Re: Telephone anxiety, posted by Maisy on June 28, 2001, at 7:09:03
I am sometimes anxious about using the phone, either answering it when it rings or making a call. My feelings about being available to answer calls vary, and at home, I often turn the ringer off if I don't feel like dealing with the phone. Then, at a later time when in the mood, I check the voice mail. This is the case even now when I am not really depressed, other than a passing depressed mood from time to time. Other times, I love gabbing on the phone. I feel like I have learned to respect the variation in my moods about phone calls.
At work, it isn't as easy. I have anxiety about calling people. Perhaps because I am more of a visual learner, or at least I rely heavily on visual input, combined with the auditory. I feel like I need to see people's faces to get the full effect of communication. And, I process information better by reading it than by hearing it, although I usually require a combination of the two to really process things. One of my weaknesses at work is that I don't call people back quickly enough, and this is definitely because of the anxiety. I am trying to work on improving this.
Also, with colleagues, I usually ask them to convey informational messages by email rather than voice mail, becuase it is hard for me to process a lot of information from voice mail messages--people tend to talk too fast for me to take notes, etc. so I have to listen to the message several times over. This also makes me a bit anxious, too, I guess, although certainly not as much as making calls to clients or others.
Posted by lissy on June 28, 2001, at 12:18:11
In reply to Re: Telephone anxiety, posted by Maisy on June 28, 2001, at 7:09:03
> I agree with dana. This is the way that phobias develop. Say you had a panic attack while driving. Afterwards, you become tense whenever driving. Pretty soon a phobia develops about driving. Try to think of a reason why the phone triggers this response in you. Are you afraid of having an attack while talking with someone? What is the worse thing that can happen? These are the type of things that cognitive behavioral therapy may help you with. I don't see a pdoc but I read a lot of things about how to help myself. There are a lot of books out there on how to stop the cycle of negative thinking in depressives. Good luck to you.
I also had and still have a bit of phone anxiety.
I used to be a receptionist at a bank whose phone rang off the hook! I was expected to pretty much single-handedly manage all the phones plus get a ton of work done also. I would never get caught up and alot of the phone calls were abusive ie: people yelling at me because they were late on their payments or bounced checks, as if it were my fault they did it. I always and still feel that the phone interrupts everything I am in the middle of and get alot of telemarketers. I guess I can't disconnect the feeling that my home phone does not have abusive people calling like at the bank. Also while working at the bank I could never answer my phone at home after listening to the ringing all day I would tense up when it would ring at home and my husband would have to answer every time. That job was 10 years ago but I still get tense a little when it rings. Caller I.D. has helped alot. (Calls from my mother in law would stress me sometimes) so now I can choose to talk to her at times when I can handle her better. It is It may be worth the extra money for caller I.D. if you don't have it. I like being more in control of knowing who is calling and deciding if I want to answer or not. Alot of family and friends would hang up on my answering machine so that wasn't the answer for me.
Posted by Dubya on June 29, 2001, at 0:48:22
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
I sort of feel the same way. I live with my parents. I often feel that I will get a phone call such from a college instructor saying that I did something wrong. Also, whenever the phone rings and it is for me (regardless of if I know who it is), I immediately think that I let someone down or did something wrong. I think this "telephone anxiety" thing relates to being "anxious" of/dealing with other people.
Posted by rmshed on June 29, 2001, at 22:51:12
In reply to Telephone anxiety, posted by cjay on June 27, 2001, at 19:05:59
> Does anyone else have anxiety when the phone rings?
> I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety last September(for the second time.
> I get very agitated and do not want to talk,and if I have to return a call I fine it almost impossible!!
> Cjay
>
> P.S This was just the case, I feel sick to my stomach and shaky and I can't seem to get over it(it does not matter who is calling even one of my kids)
Cjay:I had a bad experience with the phone about 16 years ago. I got a phone call from my ex-boss's jealous wife. She was imagined that I was having an affair with her husband, and there was nothing going on except she was drunk and probably feeling very insecure. Since then, I am very reluctant to answer the phone still today. I go to great lengths to avoid the phone at home. I have every feature added to my phone so that I have control. At work, I have to answer the phone, but then most of the calls are in regards to business. I seldom worry if someone is about to ambush me for no reason. Perhaps you can trace your phone anxiety to something someone said to you on the phone or maybe you have a fear of something that may be said to you on a call. Not many people understand why I don't answer my phone, and I learned not to care what they think. When you turn the ringer off, you will never know if it rings. The only problem with this is that I live about 30 miles from my parents and if they were to ever get sick quickly, I run the risk of not knowing. I do have caller id, so if they call, I do at least know that they called. I wouldn't worry about the phone anxiety, and just handle it with what makes YOU most comfortable.
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