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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 1:43:01
I've been pondering this question for the past hour, so I've decided to put it to the group. When you've suffered from depression for a long time, how do you know when you're cured? Like all of you, I'm desparately seeking the right meds that will "cure" me, but I really don't know what to expect from a supposedly normal life. Assuming I find some miraculous drug cocktail that knocks out all the symptoms of my disorder, then what? How do I separate the sick parts of my life from the healthy? What is the line that separates normal feeling and emotions from the depression that I'm trying to cure?
I've oversimplified my questions to shorten this post, but I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to say.
J.
Posted by RG on March 10, 2001, at 1:49:45
In reply to What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 1:43:01
J,
It's a good question. I mean, if you've had depression ever since you can remember (possibly childhood), how can you differentiate between living with depression and living 'normally'? I mean, it's a little subjective to say what's normal living for one person or another, but... Bears some thinking...
I suppose, moderation between moods is something to hope for?
Posted by ChrisK on March 10, 2001, at 5:36:49
In reply to What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 1:43:01
I don't consider myself as "cured" so much as relieved. I htink one day about a month ago I looked back at my day and realized that I had felt the full range of emotions. There were times of the day when I was "normal" and laughed at funny things and actually enjoyed having a conversation with someone. For the first time in a long time I looked at my wife when we were just watching TV and had a warm feeling, thinking that I was lucky to have her in my life.
I'm 37 and have been treated on and off for depression for the last 20 years. I'm not sure what "normal" is but I do know that I have emotions that have been locked up for a long time.
I don't believe that there is any magic happy pill for anyone but there are meds that can give us a fighting chance. I may have just finally gotten lucky and found the right combo to restore my sanity somewhat. I'm not suicidal anymore, I don't have uncontrolled crying fits, I don't isolate, I get out of the house and have actually started a part time job, I can go out to dinner, I joined a dart league and have something resembling a social life.
Some day when you are "cured" you will find things start to fall into place. These things no longer seem like a great effort. It's taken me 3 years since I've been with my current pdoc and since my last suicide attempt. Everything isn't perfect but it's better than anything I can remember in my adult life.
I just want you to know thatthere is hope. I still hang around here because I think I have something to offer other people. I'm hoping that my current med combo continues to work well and I won't have to start looking for something new. It's been a long time coming and it is a great relief.
Wishing the best for you,
Chris> I've been pondering this question for the past hour, so I've decided to put it to the group. When you've suffered from depression for a long time, how do you know when you're cured? Like all of you, I'm desparately seeking the right meds that will "cure" me, but I really don't know what to expect from a supposedly normal life. Assuming I find some miraculous drug cocktail that knocks out all the symptoms of my disorder, then what? How do I separate the sick parts of my life from the healthy? What is the line that separates normal feeling and emotions from the depression that I'm trying to cure?
>
> I've oversimplified my questions to shorten this post, but I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to say.
>
> J.
Posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 21:05:21
In reply to Re: What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by RG on March 10, 2001, at 1:49:45
< snip >
> I suppose, moderation between moods is something to hope for?That is part of the answer. It's not "normal" to feel desperately unhappy and fearful all the time.
I read that personality disorders are so deeply rooted in the psyche, that it's not possible to cure a PD, the same way you might cure a phobia. So if I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, all medication will do is transform that back to Avoidant Personality Type - a very shy, sensitive, reclusive personality. I can accept limits and circumstances of my life due to my natural personality. But those limits should not be imposed by conditions like social anxiety and depression. Those conditions can't be part of a "normal" or "healthy" life, whatever personality I have.
So if there are things that I can't do in my life, or things that I do poorly because of my disorder, then I'm still not "cured." I guess that's one way I can tell. I'm not sure it's the whole answer though.
RG and ChrisK, thanks for sharing your experiences. The best therapy I've had has been listening to people say "I've been there."
J.
Posted by Lorraine on March 11, 2001, at 10:29:19
In reply to Re: What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by ChrisK on March 10, 2001, at 5:36:49
Chris: Aren't you on Mirapex? I'm on Selegiline and Neurontin. But have physical anxiety (tightness in chest and difficulty taking deep breaths) and have started developing restless leg syndrome. I was thinking of adding Mirapex (which I don't think conflicts with either of these drugs) and Klonapin. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated. By the way--weren't you looking for info to give to doctors re Mirapex? I've collected some links and posted them in another message here.
Posted by jasonl on March 11, 2001, at 12:08:52
In reply to Re: What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by ChrisK on March 10, 2001, at 5:36:49
ChrisK,You are an inspiration. Keep posting your success. It keeps people like myself going.
Best wishes and continued improvement,
Jasonl
Posted by ChrisK on March 11, 2001, at 14:27:36
In reply to Re: What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by Lorraine on March 11, 2001, at 10:29:19
Lorraine,
I've been on Mirapex since the beginning of the year and it has worked out very well. I don't know that it would help you with the tightness in the chest but it is used for RLS. The antidepressant part of Mirapex is still an off label use but since I have reacted so well to it, my pdoc is considering it for other treatment resistant patients.
It's been a year of trying stimulants to get rid of the anhedonia problems I've had but I now feel much better than before. I currently take Nortriptyline as my main AD, Zyprexa which really helped with rumiinating thoughts and anxiety and now Mirapex.
I think if you ask your doctor for some Mirapex for the RLS that you may find that the AD qualities are very good. It's worth a try.
I did see those links posted before and already used two of them for my doctor when I got him to agree to this trial at the first of the year. Three months and all still looks good.
Chris
> Chris: Aren't you on Mirapex? I'm on Selegiline and Neurontin. But have physical anxiety (tightness in chest and difficulty taking deep breaths) and have started developing restless leg syndrome. I was thinking of adding Mirapex (which I don't think conflicts with either of these drugs) and Klonapin. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated. By the way--weren't you looking for info to give to doctors re Mirapex? I've collected some links and posted them in another message here.
Posted by desertbred on March 17, 2001, at 13:12:32
In reply to What does it feel like when you are cured?, posted by J on March 10, 2001, at 1:43:01
> I've been pondering this question for the past hour, so I've decided to put it to the group. When you've suffered from depression for a long time, how do you know when you're cured? Like all of you, I'm desparately seeking the right meds that will "cure" me, but I really don't know what to expect from a supposedly normal life. Assuming I find some miraculous drug cocktail that knocks out all the symptoms of my disorder, then what? How do I separate the sick parts of my life from the healthy? What is the line that separates normal feeling and emotions from the depression that I'm trying to cure?
>
> I've oversimplified my questions to shorten this post, but I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to say.
>
> J.J - what a wonderful question. It's so "zen," but it's also something that I believe we need to keep discussing with our doctors for very practical reasons. I have also suffered for a very long time (since adolescence) with malady or maladies undiagnosed until quite recently. Even then, my dx has changed significantly once (we're thinking BP II right now). The challenge for us is to overcome decades of distorted thinking. Do I wish daily for a "happy pill?" You bet. Because the distorted thinking is the norm for me - I tend to look around at what other people do and think "they're crazy - that will never work!" -- although recently I've at least reached the point of saying "I envy them - that would never work for *me*" - still a defeatist, depressed point of view. And I do believe that correcting this ("curing" it, if you will, although I shy away from that word) has to involve both pharmaceutical input and hard mental work - I have to help to change my thinking by changing my thinking.... And how will I know when (or if) I *do* arrive at a "normal" point? I think for me, it will be a combination of things: I will probably rely a great deal on a shrink I trust; and I will take stock of my life and decide whether it holds the things I want it to. You mentioned "sick parts" of your life - first of all, go a little easier on yourself: are you vivisecting small animals in your basement? ;-) Secondly - as our thought processes emerge from the cloud of depression, it will be easier to identify and simply leave behind those things (or people) you don't want to have in your life any longer. Only the depression makes this process agonizingly impossible. You also mentioned a "line" separating "normal" feelings from depression: I don't believe in a "line." We are all on a spectrum. You are responsible for defining for yourself when you reach that part of the spectrum where you feel comfortable, and capable of dealing with what life brings you. No one can really do that for you, IMHO. (Yeah, no one said it wasn't going to be semi-tough!) Are there some guidelines in this society/culture? Sure. Being able to get out of bed and go to work each day, for example. And I'm not being the least bit facetious here, folks. Bottom line: what to expect from "a normal life" - it's still *your* life. Expect to be the best possible *you.* I hope you get there - best wishes.
This is the end of the thread.
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