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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by harry b. on June 16, 2000, at 10:07:15
Back to work on Monday. Don't want to go. Afraid to go.
It sounds like there are going to be some conflicts,
reduced pay and benefits. I've got calls into the various
state & federal agencies, and may be forced to file
complaints. I don't really want to go that route, would
probably lose my job, but, just as I have to abide by
any (legal) rules set by my employer, so does my employer
have to abide by state & federal regulations.What a mess I've gotten myself into.
hb
Posted by Rockets on June 16, 2000, at 10:22:09
In reply to 3 Days and Counting, posted by harry b. on June 16, 2000, at 10:07:15
Gosh, that sounds familiar. I felt the same way after five weeks on medical leave I really needed to go back to work myself. I was pretty torn up about it and had to take some Ativan to calm down. (Note that taking Ativan for long periods of time is not a good idea. I don't take Ativan very often. Usually just once a week and typically just .25mg which is like 1/2 a pill.. almost nothing). Fortunately some nice supportive people encouraged me (yes I got a backrub too.. heh) and I was able to go back. I have been back for 5 weeks now and except for a failed med increase (which may have been unnecessary) this week, I have been consistently able to perform a full day work. I do go home afterward and relax, walk the dog, and do deep breating/relaxation periods (not cult wacko stuff just medically approved relaxation). I hope this user experience helps. Peace :).
Posted by NikkiT on June 16, 2000, at 10:42:27
In reply to Re: 3 Days and Counting, posted by Rockets on June 16, 2000, at 10:22:09
(((hug)))
OK, the worst thing you can do is sit and worry about it all weekend... don't know what ya can do to not worry though!
The law is there to help protect ALL of us... use it if you need to.. I did once in a previous job, and they then *couldn't* lay me off, without very very good reason.
We're all here for ya.. and I'll be rooting for you on monday.
I'm sure Tina will be wearing her cheer leaders outfot and doing some cheers for you too...take loadsa care
N
xxx
Posted by me-but-not-me on June 16, 2000, at 11:22:23
In reply to Re: 3 Days and Counting, posted by Rockets on June 16, 2000, at 10:22:09
Hi, Harry-
What kind of work do you do? Reduced pay sounds like a crock of you-know-what to me. I am glad you are checking around about that, it seems like that is discrimination against you for your illness and I think that IS against the law?!
You are so brave for going back to work, even though you are dreading it. Do you have any coworkers that are friends or at least empathetic? Sometimes that can help ease you back in. I know it will be hard if you have to file complaints. But at least you are taking steps to take care of yourself - you said it best when talking of having to follow laws at work. They can't do something illegal, and if they fire you- you may be able to sue them for firing you as retaliation for filing your complaint.
Geez, this is a lot to put up with when you are just starting back. Do you have anyone to talk with? (I assume you are still in therapy) You know you can always talk with us... Please check in and let us know how your day goes on Monday.
This is a lot to handle, but you can do it! If you anticipate some of the crap you may have to put up with, you can get your coping strategies in order. Try to take it as it comes, and know we support you here. I will set an alarm in my palm pilot for Monday morning to send good thoughts your way : )
Shelley
Posted by Libby on June 16, 2000, at 11:59:52
In reply to 3 Days and Counting, posted by harry b. on June 16, 2000, at 10:07:15
Harry, I took ten weeks off last year and would have chewed off an arm to keep from going back,
but financial situation wouldn't allow more time off. When I went back, it was to a new job because I was forced out of my old one. What they did was illegal, but that doesn't seem to matter.I was surprised to find that some of my best friends before my depression would hardly speak to me when I returned. But I have been suprised by the number people I would never have considered friends who came through with various kinds of support.
I am doing a much less satisfying job than before. I make a little less money. I don't have the active social life I used to have with my associates from work, but I got used to the change much quicker than I thought I would.
The one thing the experience gave me was a chance to reevaluate the importance of career in my life.
Before, work was a component of my self-worth.
Now, work is something I must do to earn an income. To get there, I had to ignore a lot of negative crap from people who wanted to convince me I was worthless as an employee. It helped to
have standards of my own. For me, that meant
1. showing up at work bathed and on time and
2. doing ONE productive thing each week, regardless of whether anyone asked me to.
I've done those things for six months and work is no longer a major stressor for me. However, I still have days when some jerk seems determined to take advantage of my illness/history to further his own agenda. Not as many as I expected, though.Try to keep your expectations reasonable and take your time. Let the people who understand matter to you and ignore the rest as much as you can.
Good luck...
LibbyThere are a surprising number of people out there who understand and go out of their way to help.
Posted by JudithC on June 17, 2000, at 6:33:12
In reply to 3 Days and Counting, posted by harry b. on June 16, 2000, at 10:07:15
> Back to work on Monday. Don't want to go. Afraid to go.
> It sounds like there are going to be some conflicts,
> reduced pay and benefits. I've got calls into the various
> state & federal agencies, and may be forced to file
> complaints. I don't really want to go that route, would
> probably lose my job, but, just as I have to abide by
> any (legal) rules set by my employer, so does my employer
> have to abide by state & federal regulations.
>
> What a mess I've gotten myself into.
> hbharry b.,did the agencies return your calls yesterday? I am concerned for you.
Posted by shar on June 17, 2000, at 15:20:35
In reply to 3 Days and Counting, posted by harry b. on June 16, 2000, at 10:07:15
Isn't it ironic that when we take care of ourselves by taking necessary leave or whatever, it can be perceived as a "mess" by employee or employer.
I am 100% in favor of you filing whatever complaints or grievances are necessary in order to achieve what is due you: equitable treatment. You are absolutely correct about your employer needing to follow rules, and there are restrictions on penalizing people without cause.
I totally understand your being scared. I would be, too. I still encourage you to go in thinking you deserve to be treated in a civil and decent manner, you are worthwhile, and if your employer tries to screw you -- nail them, in your polite way, of course.
You don't have to hang your head down. Your time away from work was necessary. You have nothing to be ashamed of, period. Hold your head high, keep breathing, remind yourself that you are a worthy individual that should not be treated poorly.
Please keep us updated, and I will wish you strong vibes, and feeling together, and the ability to put yourself out there and say hi to people, and hold your head up, to shake hands and say you're glad to be back.
You don't need to get into details with anyone. If someone pries, have your response ready. "I appreciate your concern, and I'm glad to be back."
or "It is so good to see everyone. Glad to be back." It doesn't really have to make sense, you don't owe anyone an answer. You can even say "Oh, I was wondering how you've been?"
UBU
Shar (I'm wondering if you work for gov't. agency? I do, and this sounds very gov't.)
Posted by harry b. on June 17, 2000, at 18:04:28
In reply to hb: Nail Them, posted by shar on June 17, 2000, at 15:20:35
Thanks to you all for the advice, encouragement,
and support.I'll answer a few questions.
I work for a large contractor as an estimator and
project engineer.I've let 3 messages with the state labor board,
they have not replied.The federal Dept of Labor has returned my call, we
have been playing phone tag. I give the investigator
credit because he has tried to reach me at least
4 or 5 times. I'm sure we will eventually speak.All of the news I've heard has come from the (minor)
VP who oversees the division I work in. Before he
became a minor VP he had a position equal to mine.
I've taken him & his family sailing a few times.
We are not exactly friends, but we get along OK.
He's trying to climb the corporate ladder tho, so
he spends more time looking up to see which way
the wind's blowing rather than sticking up for
the employees in his charge.The Exec VP will be my ally, but only to a point.
The President is the one who is hammering me. We
have not seen eye to eye since my employment began
there 7 yrs ago, and I've had to work hard and fight
for every raise & perk. So, I have no higher level to
appeal to since the problems are coming from the
very top. Why does the multi-millionare President
of the company choose to spend his time 'punishing'
me? I have no idea. BTW he has actually used that
word, "Harry and Mike, because you blah, blah, blah,
whatever, I'm going to dock you a day's vacation
time as punishment."
So far I've learned:I will not be getting my company vehicle back, it
was a '99 Ranger, bought new for me last year. I was
permitted personal use of it, not restricted to
only business use. (They came to my house & took it
while I was in the hospital)My office, large and with windows, has been given
to someone else. I am to be given a closet sized
office, of course it has no window.They plan to reduce my salary by a certain percentage
that equates to nearly $10,000.00 per year.Geez, I gotta stop, I'm getting more angry by the
minute. This post is longer than I planned.Thanks again
hb
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