![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 14:54:13
Since my lat contribution here on effexor and marihuana lots has happened.
My boyfriend is still in mental hospital and is still psychotic.
I don't know how to talk to him, often it is very nice when I visit him, but also often he is rude, insulting, making aquisation that are completely out of the air or exaggerated.
I try to avoid any topics that can lead to discussions,but it seems anything can trigger an outburst. On the other hand there are times he very sweet, nice and friendly.
How do I talk to him, without upseeting him,
I don't know anymore what to take serious: his expressions of love for me or his insults?
He insits that I pay attention to the details he is telling, and when I refere to the details I should have put it in a broader context...
Any suggestions or experiences??Putih
Posted by maria on March 6, 2000, at 15:37:22
In reply to How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 14:54:13
I would get the hell away from him!!
Posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 16:28:20
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by maria on March 6, 2000, at 15:37:22
> I would get the hell away from him!!
Are you talking from experience living with a psychotic person?
How can I leave him, we are together for 5 years, I love him and before all
this happened I was sure he loves me too.
For now I just need to find a way to cope with him and this situation.
Thanks for your reply anyway.Putih
Posted by Fred Potter on March 6, 2000, at 18:30:49
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 16:28:20
> > I would get the hell away from him!!
>
> Are you talking from experience living with a psychotic person?
> How can I leave him, we are together for 5 years, I love him
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Putih
Good for you. What sort of reply was that to give you? I wouldn't take anything he says to you personally. Can you talk to a nurse or Dr about how best to help him and how best to cope yourself? Your steadfastness, love and loyalty are a lesson to us all. I always found it most helpful when visiting schizophrenic or old demented people in hospital, to enter into their world with them and try to modify and soften some of their beliefs from inside. But I'm not a professional. I just recognise compassion when I see it.
love
Fred
Posted by bob on March 6, 2000, at 20:13:10
In reply to How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 14:54:13
Putih,
I'm sorry I missed the discussion on effexor & mojo (nothing to contribute + not enough time to read everything here), so I don't know the full context.
All the same, your two posts here say quite a lot. I'm with Fred -- good for you! It's times like these that show a person's true character, and what you're doing takes a lot of courage, a thick skin, a ton of patience, and a lot of love.
I haven't *actually* been psychotic, but my first trial on wellbutrin had me stepping across the borderline. I would fly into near-incontrollable rages at the slightest cue ... there was absolutely nothing rational about what would send me as well. While my girlfriend has been tremendously supportive and patient with me, she is also combative and bullheaded (she WAS a lawyer and now is training to be an ANALYST ... that should explain it). The only thing that kept me from hurting her was a thin slice of sanity that I was able to keep a grip on -- the same slice kept me from harming myself when I wanted to start bashing walls and other hard but breakable objects instead of her. It was a very unreal sensation ... 90% of me just wanting to rage and ruin, and the horror in the other 10% being ten times stronger than the rage, keeping it in check. This rage expressed itself early enough, tho, for my pdoc to counter it successfully with an antipsychotic.
[The troubles that led to further down the road is quite another story, but ...]
I don't know if I can suggest anything to do to help in an **active** way. On the sane side of psychosis, we want to fight it by taking reasonable measures. On the other side of psychosis, I don't think reason has any hold. Maybe a gentle stubborness is the best offense and defense against it. For me, that rage was chaos. Give your boyfriend something that is just as steady and sure as his moods and mind may be mercurial. I can only imagine how hard it must be to let the verbal blows bounce off you instead of catching ... but there's a part of him that will need that lifeline out to what he's had with you. Quietly, confidently reaffirming what you've had together may help him get through this as much, or more, than any med the docs give him.
God bless the both of you,
bob
Posted by AndrewB on March 6, 2000, at 22:42:27
In reply to Having been one myself, ..., posted by bob on March 6, 2000, at 20:13:10
I really don't have much in the way of advice except that you should remember what you've had together in the past and to have faith that better times lie ahead. What I really want to say is that you seem like a special person. Your solid love and concern in this man's time of need is touching. As Bob said, God bless both of you.
AndrewB
Posted by John Cornwell on March 7, 2000, at 1:38:49
In reply to How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by putih on March 6, 2000, at 14:54:13
> My boyfriend is still in mental hospital and is still psychotic.
> Any suggestions ...
>
> Putih^^^^^^^^^^
Yes, get a new boyfriend.
There's no getting through a psycho.
Just ask Norman Bates.
Posted by PaulS on March 7, 2000, at 2:01:00
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by John Cornwell on March 7, 2000, at 1:38:49
Talking to one of the docs or nurses is your best bet. Other than that, I would suggest keeping your conversations to very light matters...such as the weather or how his meals are. This is a time to avoid talking about any personal matters between the two of you until his psychosis has been brought under control.
Posted by JL on March 7, 2000, at 12:14:38
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by PaulS on March 7, 2000, at 2:01:00
I cannot believe what I am hearing here !! Is this whole site about caring and being compassionate ? You hang in there girl and listen to the positive remarks about asking the nurses and doctors how to handle this. From my experience, the staff usually have sessions for significant others. If the mentally ill were given up on just because they were having a HARD time for a while,we would all be more alone than we are by isolating ourselves. My family has not always understood my bipolar 1 behavior, but they have never tried to give up on me. Thank God. They are why I'm still alive. If I did not have someone on my side, there would be no reason for living. There is a great possibility your boyfriend can get better with further treatment. Advice for uncomfortable visits: just sit there and patiently listen to every word no matter how way out or angry it may sound. This may be his only way to comfortably vent. Don't take it personally, then you go to a theropist or friend that you can vent on. Everyone needs to be heard. I cannot believe the neandrothrol thinking in saying to dump your boyfriend because of this, jeez!!
Posted by Fred on March 7, 2000, at 12:56:54
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by John Cornwell on March 7, 2000, at 1:38:49
> > My boyfriend is still in mental hospital and is still psychotic.
> > Any suggestions ...
> >
> > Putih
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^
> Yes, get a new boyfriend.
> There's no getting through a psycho.What the Hell category is Psycho? Stick them all
in Bedlam I suppose is one way, except we might
find ourselves in there too. Let us know your news
Putih
love
Fred
Posted by putih on March 7, 2000, at 13:42:44
In reply to Re: How to deal with a psychotic person?, posted by Fred on March 7, 2000, at 12:56:54
Dear people,
Thank you all for your warm comments and possitive ideas.
I'm just back from another visit and today it was a
little bit OK. After a bad evening yesterday I popped into the hospital this
morning to bring a cheerfull postcard. It helped before.
It really is so helpfull to read your posts. I will hang on, no intention of
giving up.
Talking to the his doc is a little difficult because my friend has to give his permission, which of course will depend on his mood.
Any way, I feel a little better now,
Thanks again, hope I'm not boring youYou take care too!
Putih
Posted by bob on March 7, 2000, at 16:50:59
In reply to Thank you all..., posted by putih on March 7, 2000, at 13:42:44
Boring us? Well, maybe those out there waiting for you to bail on someone in need who means so much to you.
As for me, I'd like to hear what works for you. You never know when you'll need that sort of info for yourself, and I bet you'll have quite a bit to teach us from your experiences.
Hang in there,
bob
Posted by putih on March 8, 2000, at 2:30:25
In reply to Re: Thank you all..., posted by bob on March 7, 2000, at 16:50:59
Hi Bob,
I will keep you informed when I find my way a little in dealing with this situation.
Have to go for work now.Putih
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.