Psycho-Babble Social Thread 853234

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 40. This is the beginning of the thread.

Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work

Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 11:46:58

I don't want to.
I heard from the woman who has been handling my case for the insurance that covers my time off from work. When I told her about the doctor saying I could only work limited hours to begin with (to keep my boss from saying I have to work ungodly hours to make up for being out), she said the insurance wouldn't cover that because I've reached my limit. So she says my work may not have to honor those limitations. So we'll see what happens there.
Then she wanted to know why I was waiting to go back on Monday even though I was released to go back this past Wednesday. I told her I just wasn't up to it and I decided if I don't get paid for those days I would accept that. So we'll see what happens there too (I don't know if I'll get in trouble for it or not).
So I'm really hoping I will get that job that I interviewed for this past week. If I do I'm not going to bother with a 2 weeks notice since I already know they won't consider me for rehire. Otherwise I probably have another 5-6 weeks until they can let me go for not 'improving'. When I think about that part of it, it makes me so angry. Its just so frustrating to have someone manipulating a situation to reflect unfairly upon you, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
So wish me good luck. Again. I seem to need a lot of luck.
-T

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » TexasChic

Posted by Phillipa on September 21, 2008, at 12:06:16

In reply to Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 11:46:58

T I wish you much luck. I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. I really feel for you. What did you plan for your last day off? Love Phillipa

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » Phillipa

Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 12:47:15

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on September 21, 2008, at 12:06:16

Thanks Phillipa. I didn't really plan anything, just 'trying' to relax.
-T

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work

Posted by Angela2 on September 21, 2008, at 18:13:27

In reply to Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 11:46:58

Texaschic, you are very brave. I see you as being courageous through this whole thing. And I applaud you for that. Hang in there, good luck, and be good to yourself.

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » Angela2

Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 18:37:39

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by Angela2 on September 21, 2008, at 18:13:27

Thanks Angela Chase! ;-)
That's very nice of you to say. I certainly don't feel courageous!!! Thanks for the support!
-T

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » TexasChic

Posted by Kath on September 21, 2008, at 21:07:45

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » Angela2, posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2008, at 18:37:39

Dear TC,
Total DITTO to what Angela said!!!
I know you don't feel courageous, but guess what - you are!!! :-) (((((((((((you))))))))))))

The situation sucks big-time.
I was just thinking about you earier today.
I'm sorry it's so late when I'm writing this. I hope you get to read it before you go to work.
Hey TC - please keep this in mind all day at work....EVERYONE there brushes their teeth, spits in the sink & goes to the bathroom!
If you need to, to help you feel more power & less likely to feel like a victim - you can imagine that whoever is talking to you has forgotten to dress properly....ex your boss might be in her 'slip' - having forgotten to put her dress on. Or just wearing underwear! (not in a vogeur way, but just in a helping you not feel 'less than' them way!)
I send love, Kath

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » Kath

Posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 6:53:15

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 21, 2008, at 21:07:45

Thanks Kath. I'm sitting here trying to get the courage to start getting ready. I've already procrastinated for over 45 minutes. I just don't know if I can do it. I don't have an excuse though. I don't want to call in sick because I don't want to talk to my boss. I thought about emailing her that I am sick. I know its a cop out but I just don't know if I can face this.
-T

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work

Posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 7:07:11

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » Kath, posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 6:53:15

Well, I sent the email saying I was sick but I would return to work tomorrow. I don't know what will happen, I'm not sure if they can fire me for this or not. I just couldn't face it yet. For some reason the longer I stay away the harder it is to go back. My chest is hurting and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack, but I know its a panic attack. I took a Xanax and am waiting for it to kick in. I guess I should have taken one first thing this morning. I didn't know I was going to freak out this bad though. I feel like I'm being stupid. But I feel like anything would be better than going back there right now.
-T

I don't think I can go back

Posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 20:04:17

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 7:07:11

I actually bought wine tonight. I haven't drank for the 6 weeks I've been off work. I guess I was feeling pretty desperate. I wish I could get a freaking job. Any job. Just not the one I have.
-T

Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work » TexasChic

Posted by Phillipa on September 22, 2008, at 20:04:34

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 7:07:11

T I feel your body is trying to tell you something? And that is that it's not the right job for you. Love Phillipa

((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))))))))) » TexasChic

Posted by Kath on September 22, 2008, at 20:04:47

In reply to Re: Tomorrow I finally have to go back to work, posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 7:07:11

I know what you mean about the longer that goes by the harder something can be to DO.
I don't think they can fire you for being sick.
TC - I am thinking of you during this time more than ever. Please try to be aware of how you're feeling & take meds accordingly. Maybe your meds can help you get through this?
Maybe you can think of what is the worst-case-scenario & face it & then when you're thinking of going back you'll know what the worst case scenario IS & know you've faced it. I wonder if that would help at all.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
much love, Kath

Thanks you guys, it means a lot.

Posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 20:35:31

In reply to ((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))))))))) » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 22, 2008, at 20:04:47

I know its not the right job anymore, but I have to pay the rent while I'm trying to find another job. I should be able to tough it out until then. If I can just make myself go in tomorrow I know it will get easier after that. But I guess what's bothering me is not knowing what to expect. Like you said Kath, I guess I should try to think of the worst case scenario. What bothers me is:
- that I haven't heard one word from my boss since right after I left. When I left a message saying my time off would be extended, & when I emailed her today to say I was sick and couldn't come in, I just expected her to respond in some way. I sat cringing waiting for some rude reply, and then nothing, which somehow makes it even worse.
- HR was supposed to send me their report about the complaint I made about her, but I haven't had access to my email since I left. My worry is they probably notified her too. I don't know for sure, but she was so 'concerned' at first I think its weird to hear no word from her now.
Worst case scenario:
- I get pulled into some meeting with her and maybe her boss and she starts bombarding me with questions I don't know how to answer.
- they tell me I'm fired.
- they say I have to work 12-16 hour days from now on.
- they all treat me weird. Everyone makes a big deal about me being back.
- I feel bad about the girl who called to check on me and I never called her back
- the one person I emailed to try to find out some news about what was happening in my absence replied that her people had to do all my work. She's kind of always like that though, she turns people off by making remarks like that.
- the unexpected, I guess that's the worst.
That's all I can wring out of my subconscious for now. Maybe something will click that will allow me to go in tomorrow.
-T

((((((((((((((TC)))))))))))))))) (nm)

Posted by Geegee on September 22, 2008, at 20:43:35

In reply to I don't think I can go back, posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 20:04:17

I called in sick again today

Posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2008, at 6:27:29

In reply to ((((((((((((((TC)))))))))))))))) (nm), posted by Geegee on September 22, 2008, at 20:43:35

First off, thanks Geegee!
I sent an email to work saying I was still sick and it was easier to communicate by email than to call in. I said I am sick and it is something unrelated to what I was on illness recovery for - like a stomach virus. That part wasn't true, and I really don't like to lie if I can help it, but I felt like that was the only way I could possibly get away with being out a few more days (I said I may come in tomorrow or it may be Thursday). I'm going to call the place I interviewed at, they said they would have potential candidates come in this week to work a couple of hours and see how they fit in, so I am going to say I have today off and see if they would like me to come in. So wish me luck on that. And everything else too I guess. Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm handling this the best I know how.
-T

Re: I called in sick again today

Posted by WaterSapphire on September 23, 2008, at 9:09:51

In reply to I called in sick again today, posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2008, at 6:27:29

Hey Texaschick, I hope things get a little better for you with all this. Self preservation is sometimes all you can do...
HUGS

2nd interview today

Posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2008, at 19:37:11

In reply to Re: I called in sick again today, posted by WaterSapphire on September 23, 2008, at 9:09:51

It was with the place I interviewed with last week. I stayed and met the guys that I would be working with and shadowed them for 4 hours and worked on a couple of jobs. It went very well and it seems pretty promising, but they were also very very vague about whether or not I was going to get the job. But the guys told me they just moved in to the building and are doing a lot of expanding, so everything is kind of up in the air right now and the owners and really busy.
I just hope I didn't babble anything stupid, I do that sometimes in a nervous situation. Actually I do that all the time. I blurt out things without thinking, which I've learned is an ADD trait. But it seemed as if my blurts turned out okay this time. You know like, when they were talking about music I was like, "as long as its not country I'm okay with it". Luckily they were like, "alright!!" But it could have easily been someones favorite music. There were a couple of other things like that that just happened to be things they agreed with. I was like (to myself), "thank God, now shut up already!"
And yes, its pretty much all guys who I would be working with, which if you know anything about me you know is a GOOD thing. Plus, the guys tended to have either long hair or shaved heads, tattoos and long goatees. I wouldn't actually say these are my TYPE of guy, like to date or whatever. Not that they aren't my type either. But I am just much more comfortable with that type of crowd than the fake plastic people I've been working with lately. It'll be nice to go back to wearing frayed jeans, chucks and a t-shirt to work. And maybe do something funky to my hair.
So wish me luck! If not a permanent solution, its certainly a very promising way out of my current job from hell. And who knows, I may love it and stay quite a while. Look at me, I'm talking like I have it, which some of the guys also did today. But I know they are meeting with some others tomorrow so, who knows!
Thanks for the support everybody!!!!
-T

Re: 2nd interview today » TexasChic

Posted by Kath on September 23, 2008, at 20:12:41

In reply to 2nd interview today, posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2008, at 19:37:11

BEST of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I say 'best'? !!!!
xoxo Kath

Re: Thanks you guys, it means a lot. » TexasChic

Posted by Kath on September 23, 2008, at 20:17:04

In reply to Thanks you guys, it means a lot., posted by TexasChic on September 22, 2008, at 20:35:31

Hey TC - one thought - what if you send an email now - to the one who sent you one & you didn't reply.
You could say you feel embarrassed to be only sending this now, but you needed her to know that it really meant a LOT to you that she emailed you.
Then 1) you'd know you replied & one stess would be removed.
2) she'd know it meant a lot to you & would have your apology & also know you emailed even though you were embarrassed.
Just a thought.
luv you, Kath
PS - BOY do I hope you get that job.

Re: Thanks you guys, it means a lot.

Posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2008, at 21:35:10

In reply to Re: Thanks you guys, it means a lot. » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 23, 2008, at 20:17:04

First off, I meant to tell WaterSaphire I appreciated her post saying sometimes self preservation was most important. That's what I was feeling but couldn't seem to put into coherent thought.
And thanks Kath! The girl from work had given me her home email which I tried, but I never heard back from her. Then she left the phone message which sounded as if she was wondering about me because she hadn't heard from me. It makes me wonder if I got the email address wrong - it was a little hard to read. Then I emailed her at work, and definitely got that one wrong because it came back undeliverable. I also have her phone number, but I felt unreasonably anxious about calling her. She's very nice, and even stressed in the message she left that it wasn't necessary to call her back. My stress really was more about the connection with work that made me feel too freaked out to call her. But I really feel she will be perfectly understandable about it, I just feel bad about it myself. I feel like she is someone who could become a friend. She's the black chic who when we were talking about me being more assertive I made the comment that I needed to find my inner black woman, and she laughed her head off. That's one of those inappropriate things I sometimes blurt out without thinking. I really hadn't known her long enough to say something like that. But some people just seem to get that about me right off the bat and realize what I say is said in innocence and not as some sort of hidden insult. But then some people DON'T get that about me and I usually don't end up on good terms with them.
Anyway, I'm getting tired so I'm off to bed. Thank you everyone for all your well wishes, good vibes, and prayers. I appreciate them all.
-T

I got the job! Woohoo!!!

Posted by TexasChic on September 24, 2008, at 18:31:08

In reply to Re: 2nd interview today » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 23, 2008, at 20:12:41

Thanks for supporting me through this difficult time. I'm not sure I would have made it without you guys. Babblers rock!!!!
-T