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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2005, at 19:41:17
In reply to today's session » fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 0:28:41
> Now I didn't act out, but didn't anybody notice me?
That's very much a subtext of what's going on with me. The only time I ever got any help was when I acted out. The rest of the time, it was just expected that I'd be and do whatever I should. Of course, I really hated the sort of help I got so I went back to being good again and everyone was happy.
It meant so much for my therapist to tell me that he would believe me just because I told him so.
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2005, at 19:43:49
In reply to Re: today's session, posted by antigua on January 7, 2005, at 12:32:28
What a great response!
Posted by mair on January 7, 2005, at 22:02:14
In reply to Re: today's session, posted by antigua on January 7, 2005, at 12:32:28
That is a nice story. One of my most mortifying moments was showing up an hour early. My appointment is at 11 and I really need to leave my office by about 15 to 20 minutes before to get there on time. I was sitting at my desk and looked at the clock and it was 10 minutes before 10. I panicked and went into brain lock and either thought it was 10 minutes til 11 or just forgot my appointment was at 11 and not 10. I flew out of there and raced up to her office arriving breathless at about 5 after with apologies at the ready. I felt beyond stupid when she pointed out to me that I was an hour early, but very fortuitously, her 10 o'clock patient had cancelled so she didn't have to send me away. So I guess it really could have been worse. In fact I arrived for an appointment last week and found another woman in the waiting room which is unusual but not unheard of since the waiting room is shared with another therapist. My T's look when she came out of her office told me that this other woman was there to see her also. She was 2 hours early, having gotten confused about the time. The woman appeared to handle it ok, but I'm sure she was upset. There's no way to kill time where my T's office is. The nearest anything of interest is about 7 or 8 miles away.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 23:31:26
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 7, 2005, at 12:20:59
>
> A fellow skeptic and MD, concurs with me: Isn't it curious that ALL recovered memories are negative ones?Wow, ALL recovered memories? Have you ever remembered anything you had forgotten for years? Was it negative, too? Ever remember anything good? I know I have. But of course if someone remembers a traumatic event, it's going to be traumatic. So it gets attention.
> >
> > "EEEKKK! BREAK OUT THE ARTICLES! THE WEBSITES! THE PITHY COMMENTS"
> >
> > "GET ME SOME IODINE, I'VE GOT DOG GERMS!" (with apologies to Snoopy)
> >
> > RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!
>
> Doesn't Dr. Bob have anything in his civility rules about it being rude to post in all caps?There isn't anything in the FAQ on civility. I checked the archives, and there has been discussion, but I believe that it is accepted as an intensification of the message and a posting preference. It has been noted to be more difficult to read, however.
>
> Why are you yelling at me?Well, I do remember--------it was for dramatic effect.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 23:37:33
In reply to Re: today's session » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 7, 2005, at 12:29:07
> I think that they often really don't have a clue how much therapy effects us. My therapist changed how he was dealing with me a lot right after we had a discussion about how it wasn't "healthy" for me to be so destroyed by therapy. And the changes really have helped with that.
Falls, I would be interested in hearing how things changed, if you feel like posting about that. I actually have a client who felt worse after our first session, and I think we need to do some wind down or containment stuff at the end of the sessions. I have some ideas, but I would love to hear what you and your T have found successful.
>
> I'm glad you were open and honest with him. Sometimes I think the disjointed sessions are really important.Yeah, I think you are right. It certainly points to something that is disrupting my usual flow of speech. (Can't help it, I'm a talker!)
> I hope that whatever you are heading towards is helpful in the long run.
Thanks, me too. But I do remember (giggle) telling him "remember how I said I always need to know *why*? Well, I'm not sure I do anymore."
Ignorance feels appealing right now. ;)gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 23:39:49
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy, posted by Annierose on January 7, 2005, at 12:31:14
> Not sure I want to get involved in this conversation, but just as a fyi, I have recovered wonderful memories of my grandmother! And I love it when I discover another time we shared together!!
That sounds lovely.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:02:00
In reply to Re: today's session, posted by antigua on January 7, 2005, at 12:32:28
> GG, I'm so very glad you went today. One thing I am picking up on is that maybe you're really opening up more to your T--I don't know how to say this, really, but if he was somewhat surprised at how you felt and wasn't able to put it neatly together, then that could be a really good thing. A new level of trust, maybe?
Yeah, I suppose that if I can surprise him (and scare myself) after more than a year, that must mean something good. And I new level of trust would be good. But he still wonders if I needed to be rude to him. We kind of let that aspect (of me not showing) drop.
> I've also been told that these kinds of feelings/behavior often precede a breakthrough and I certainly hope that is what is happening to you.I hope so too. It's got to be leading to something, or it will really tick me off! :)
>
> It doesn't matter how much time I give myself, I'm always late now. We talk about it. It's significant.What significance do you and your T attach to it?
>
> One silly story for you.
> My T moved over the summer, as I know I've mentioned. I didn't (and maybe still haven't) adjusted well to her move. One day the traffic was terrible (I have a 9 am appt)and I decided to go the back way, or so I thought. I ended up getting lost and the more anxious I became, the more lost I became. The clock was ticking and my prescious T minutes were awasting! I ended up overshooting her new place and had to pass by her old place to get to the new place (still following me?). I don't regularly go by her old place; it's out of the way.
>
> By the time I reached my T, I was more than 30 minutes late. I was so flustered. She sweetly told me it was fine and said that I wasn't late for therapy, I had just started it somewhere else (her old house). It was a very productive session.
> good luck,
> antiguaAww, your T sounds lovely. I had a disaster on the way to a T appt. once. That's when I had my car wreck. Ugh. Never did make it in.
Thanks for your insights,
gg
>
>
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:14:28
In reply to Re: today's session » gardenergirl, posted by Shortelise on January 7, 2005, at 12:44:39
> gg,
>
> You really are in the middle of it, aren't you?
>
>I second guess myself all the time, with very little of that knowledge. I can imagine what it's like for you.You really seem to get it. That's a nice feeling. And yes, I am the middle child. Although many think I am the oldest, cause my bro is 40 going on about 14. How did you guess?
>gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:17:38
In reply to Re: today's session » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on January 7, 2005, at 19:41:17
> > Now I didn't act out, but didn't anybody notice me?
>
> That's very much a subtext of what's going on with me. The only time I ever got any help was when I acted out. The rest of the time, it was just expected that I'd be and do whatever I should. Of course, I really hated the sort of help I got so I went back to being good again and everyone was happy.
Sounds like a classic example of how we learn to act the way we do. I think I was always the good girl. 'cept when I was about two. I threw tantrums then. A lost skill... :)> It meant so much for my therapist to tell me that he would believe me just because I told him so.
That is really a special thing to hear, I'll bet.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:20:51
In reply to Re: today's session » antigua, posted by mair on January 7, 2005, at 22:02:14
Oh my, I did that once. I think I was two hours early. They looked at me funny. I just said, Okay, I'll be back. And went.......................wait for it.........................altogether now...............
to Starbucks of course!gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:24:30
In reply to Re: today's session » mair, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:20:51
There is FINALLY a Starbucks near my home!! I was just IMing with Emmy, and I remembered this!! Woo hoo! My hubby told me about it on New Year's Eve, but I forgot. Must have been the spilled candle wax that interfered with my encoding.
Happy dance!!!!!
Now I don't have to go way out of the way for my treat!
gg
Posted by Aphrodite on January 8, 2005, at 4:32:14
In reply to Just remembered !!!!!!, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:24:30
It's funny, I go to a coffee house *before* every session. I always get a mocha latte. I'm chronically sleep-deprived, so it's my way of getting through therapy appearing at a normal energy level. Of course, by the end I crash and have to use the bathroom;) Espresso goes right through me!
I should total up how much money I spend on this ritual. Then again, maybe not.
I'm so sorry for your depressed feelings. I understand the need to hide under the covers and pray for the sun. And I'm sorry your T was confused, but I'm sure he'll work on the pieces of the puzzle and have some insight next time.
It's been so gray and cold and dreary where I live and that only feeds my depression. On the days when I've forced myself to bundle up, put on the headphones, and take a walk, it has done wonders. The cold actually becomes quite stimulating for me. It's getting out the door that is the problem! Just a suggestion . . . I want to help until your T can give you some brilliant insight.
Take care.
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 8, 2005, at 10:55:13
In reply to Just remembered !!!!!!, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 0:24:30
GG!! Yes! A recovered memory!! And, yes!! It's a positive one!! Oh my goodness!! Say it ain't so!!! :-P
TButt
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 8, 2005, at 11:19:53
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 7, 2005, at 12:20:59
>A fellow skeptic and MD, concurs with me: Isn't it curious that ALL recovered memories are negative ones?
Really? I think think this fact may be wrong...I am pretty sure I have had more postitive 'recovered memories' than negative. Unless I am not understanding the meaning of recovered memories.
Posted by fires on January 8, 2005, at 12:15:35
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » fires, posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 23:31:26
Perhaps what we have here "is a failure to communicate." ;)
In my book simply remembering something that we haven't for some time, is not a recovered memory.
Also, some forums I post on do list typing in all caps as rude behavior -- that it is unacceptable. I find it somewhat ironic that this site, with some of, if not the strictest rules on civility, doesn't address the issue. I'm not too surprise though because rhetorical questions that belittle people, have been allowed here, too.
I think I have been quite civil in the above paragraph. :) My 82 year old mother agrees!!
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2005, at 12:29:06
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 8, 2005, at 12:15:35
Posted by fires on January 8, 2005, at 12:31:22
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » fires, posted by rainbowbrite on January 8, 2005, at 11:19:53
I don't think you understand what I mean by recovered memory. From "The Myth of Repressed Memory" :
"Since it is not actually a legitimate psychological phenomenon, the idea of "recovered memory"—and the movement that has developed alongside it—is thus closer to a dangerous fad or trendy witch hunt."
I hope that explains what I mean.
Posted by fallsfall on January 8, 2005, at 13:48:08
In reply to Re: today's session » fallsfall, posted by gardenergirl on January 7, 2005, at 23:37:33
I'm not really sure what is different. Some day I'll ask him.
We talked about how his goal wasn't to destroy me in every session. How I should be able to function after therapy. We talked about how I might expect that if I were destroyed that it would mean that I was working "harder" - but that wasn't what he had in mind.
From my perspective, he stopped arguing so much. He stopped challenging me as much. I don't know if he actually changed what he was doing.
For my part, I tried to see that functioning after therapy was a goal. This sort of was part of the "even if you get better, you won't lose therapy" discussion. Sort of that I didn't need to *prove* that I was a mess in order to stay in therapy.
I am interested to know if he changed, if I changed, or if we both did. But I haven't asked him yet...
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:06:22
In reply to What do you get? » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on January 8, 2005, at 4:32:14
> Of course, by the end I crash and have to use the bathroom;) Espresso goes right through me!
Ha! I ran into a friend of mine in the lobby a couple of weeks ago since I had the same issue and had to hit the restroom before I left. It was nice to see her, though. Poor T, having to deal with us back to back like that. :)
I always get a decaf venti non-fat cinnamon latte. So, now I'm busted if anyone in my town reads this. :)
>
> On the days when I've forced myself to bundle up, put on the headphones, and take a walk, it has done wonders. The cold actually becomes quite stimulating for me. It's getting out the door that is the problem! Just a suggestion . . . I want to help until your T can give you some brilliant insight.You know what? This is an excellent idea! I'll give it a try today. Maybe I can convince my hubby to go with me. He's feeling slug-like today, too.
Thanks, sweetie.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:08:21
In reply to Re: Just remembered !!!!!! » gardenergirl, posted by TofuEmmy on January 8, 2005, at 10:55:13
Thanks for helping me remember this. It's a valuable memory, one that I'm sure will have a great impact on my well-being, if not my pocketbook.
;-)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:17:04
In reply to Re: today's session » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 8, 2005, at 13:48:08
Sounds like a good goal, and a good shift in thinking regarding therapy.
Let me know what he says.
Take care,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:19:05
In reply to Re: today's session » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 8, 2005, at 13:48:08
I hope no one is feeling as if I am making fun of them or making light of what can be a very difficult and painful event. It's just my way of dealing with the anxiety of what's going on with me. Humor really helps me cope.
Thanks,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:23:32
In reply to Re: I think I'm resisting in therapy » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 8, 2005, at 12:15:35
> Also, some forums I post on do list typing in all caps as rude behavior -- that it is unacceptable. I find it somewhat ironic that this site, with some of, if not the strictest rules on civility, doesn't address the issue.
It has been addressed. You can find several threads about it in the archives. Just google "all caps"
>I'm not too surprise though because rhetorical questions that belittle people, have been allowed here, too.
Really?
>
> I think I have been quite civil in the above paragraph. :) My 82 year old mother agrees!!
>I don't have a problem with it. Glad mom approves, too.
gg
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 8, 2005, at 16:55:55
In reply to Hope I'm not offending anyone with recovered mems, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:19:05
Me too...hopefully people know I almost never post a serious word. (ok...it's an issue!)
I was just teasing my buddy GG. Truly don't mean to offend anyone!! well,...except maybe GG! ;-)
Posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2005, at 14:09:07
In reply to Hope I'm not offending anyone with recovered mems, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2005, at 14:19:05
This thread seems to have died. I don't know if it was a natural death, or if my goofiness killed it.
I apologize for letting my humor run amok. There's a time and a place for sick humor, even if it helps me to avoid thinking and feeling what I don't want to think or feel. This may not be the place.
Sorry, folks.
gg
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