![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 84. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
Dinah got me thinking on a previous post that there should be a rule book (preferably written by patients) of things they should and shouldn't do. Daisy has mentioned wanting a "therapy rule book." Let's write our own! Dinah's is the first contribution:
1. Do not bring up emotionally charged subjects before a holiday or vacation.
Aphrodite's contribution:
2. Do explain all policies and procedures on the first visit, including phone rules, emergency procedures, and fees.
(For the first 6 months, I was afraid to call, even when I was feeling suicidal. I needed the rules and was too scared to ask. Sore spot with me!)
Others?
Posted by vwoolf on November 27, 2004, at 8:22:58
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
Repeat things many times. People in therapy (therapands?) don't hear very well, and need to keep being reminded of the rules.
Posted by badhaircut on November 27, 2004, at 9:15:14
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
What a great idea.
4. (A version of #2) Spell out very plainly at the first or second session what your theories or criteria for successful therapy are. I went to a therapist for 5 appointments before he told me he was a "neo-Freudian psychoanalyst" and for a couple years before he said that he did not have a goal of ever making his clients feel or function better. (I guess we were just supposed to understand ourselves better?)
5. Admit when you've made a mistake. Just say, "Yeah, that may've been a mistake." Your clients will sleep better.
————
PS to vwoolf-- I love the word *therapand*!
Posted by badhaircut on November 27, 2004, at 9:29:04
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
Another addition to #2:
State very clearly at the first session and in any hand-outs exactly "what" you are: a medical doctor? a social worker – and if so, what on earth is *that*? When I was 19 I went to a therapist and for several weeks I thought he was a medical-doctor psychiatrist; turns out he was a clinical social worker with a master's degree. I had even called him "doctor" and he didn't say anything.
Posted by cubic_me on November 27, 2004, at 9:49:58
In reply to State theory; admit mistakes, posted by badhaircut on November 27, 2004, at 9:15:14
6. always have a clock in clear view of the client (therepand!)
Posted by Toph on November 27, 2004, at 9:55:24
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
7) Try not to cross or uncross you legs simultaneously with your client (this really freaks them out).
Posted by Skittles on November 27, 2004, at 12:26:19
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Toph on November 27, 2004, at 9:55:24
> 7) Try not to cross or uncross you legs simultaneously with your client (this really freaks them out).
I am so glad you mentioned this. I always sit with my legs crossed and my body angled a bit to my right. I've noticed that the way my therapist sits mirrors me. In an effort to figure out if this is purposeful, on my last visit, I angled my body to my left. She mirrored me again. I guess I didn't really accomplish anything because I still don't know if it is a deliberate act or just a coincidence. If it is deliberate, what is the purpose?
Posted by Shortelise on November 27, 2004, at 13:44:59
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
My therapist has always made a point of ending on as positive a note as possible if we're not going to see each other for a while. We rarely embark on heavy stuff then. For that reason, I thought it WAS in the rule books! Maybe, Aphro, because your T keeps in such close contact with you, it's not an issue?
ShortE
Posted by annierose on November 27, 2004, at 18:15:48
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts » Toph, posted by Skittles on November 27, 2004, at 12:26:19
#8 - Turn off the ringer on your telephone and cell phone. You'll still get the messages without the interruptions.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on November 27, 2004, at 20:33:53
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by annierose on November 27, 2004, at 18:15:48
9. Do not tell your clients about past male/female/PERSONAL area surgeries that have zero to do with your session...I still cannot look at my T with a straight face and thinking on THAT :-P
Posted by peacefeline on November 27, 2004, at 21:17:21
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Fallen4MyT on November 27, 2004, at 20:33:53
Awesome thread! Here's some I've collected from my own & other people's experiences:
10. Has dealt with his/her own "stuff"
11. Maintains professional distance, but at the same time is emotionally open
12. Should not congratulate themselves on getting you to overcome your anger when all that has happened is that you've realized negative statements are unwelcome.
13. Never implies that trauma was the fault of the client.
Posted by messadivoce on November 27, 2004, at 21:53:27
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Fallen4MyT on November 27, 2004, at 20:33:53
LOL!!! Sorry I don't know if you meant to be funny, but I had to chuckle. That would be so mortifying! Augh! I wouldn't want to know that about anybody!!
Posted by Fallen4MyT on November 27, 2004, at 23:26:16
In reply to Re: Fallen4myT, posted by messadivoce on November 27, 2004, at 21:53:27
Lmao I meant to be funny AND honest he told me this crazy story on his surgery that had zero to do with ANYTHING lol and I still OVER a year later cannot get that out of my head or the smile off my face. I did at that session keep a face any T would be proud to sport hearing the most loopy info. He mentioned it not long ago again...nobody wants to know this data trust me I would not tell my spouse about that kinda thing lol it was a trip :P
> LOL!!! Sorry I don't know if you meant to be funny, but I had to chuckle. That would be so mortifying! Augh! I wouldn't want to know that about anybody!!
Posted by Poet on November 28, 2004, at 1:34:46
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
How about straighten pillows and afghans/blankets that are on the couch or chair? I hate it when i walk in and it's obvious that somebody before me had been curled up in *my space.*
Poet
Posted by Fallen4MyT on November 29, 2004, at 0:44:59
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Poet on November 28, 2004, at 1:34:46
Also add do not tell me you get diarrehea when you have to do lectures....I have no need for this info and do not have a fear of public speaking
Posted by Aphrodite on November 29, 2004, at 18:26:06
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
Do NOT slurp your drink while the patient is talking!
Sheesh. I can't believe I had to even write that one. Can you tell I just returned from a session?
Posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2004, at 23:05:57
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 29, 2004, at 18:26:06
--Don't belch after drinking a large swig of your soda. I did that...D'oh! So embarrassing.
--Don't blame the secretary all the time when you are really late.
--Don't double book.
---Do have tissues. Lots and lots of soft tissues.
---Do use humor at times. Laughter is healing, as some wise woman on another board said (Jai) :)
---Do refer out when someone's problems are not within your area of expertise to treat.
Loving this thread! (and taking notes)
gg
Posted by Aphrodite on November 30, 2004, at 6:31:42
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2004, at 23:05:57
You don't need to do that -- we know you instinctively know these things!
Love your contributions, by the way!
Posted by gardenergirl on November 30, 2004, at 8:35:57
In reply to taking notes » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on November 30, 2004, at 6:31:42
Posted by Blossom on November 30, 2004, at 21:31:29
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
This is a great thread!
I have one to add...Don't bother trying to come in and do therapy when someone significant in your life has just died.
My T came in one day after just having attended the funeral the day before (BTW, he didn't tell me this. I overheard him talking with a colleague) Let me tell you, it was the worst therapy session ever! Boy was he cranky and morose! I left feeling so horrible.
I know that T's are not supposed to bring their own issues into the therapy session, but maybe there are times when it is unavoidable...
Blossom
Posted by messadivoce on December 1, 2004, at 2:13:01
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
I would have to add, monitor the temperature of your office. My T had this little cubbyhole for an office and it was always sweltering! He had a little fan which provided marginal improvement. Once when I was visibly sweating he turned it towards me...and it blew my hair around.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2004, at 9:31:40
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2004, at 23:05:57
re. referring out. That may indeed be good advice, but I would add to the list that therapists understand what termination of any sort does to a client, and behave accordingly. Perhaps suggest adjunct therapy, or a transitional time, or something.
Were my therapist to say that I was outside his range of expertise (and fortunately I'm not - he's had experience in the area) I would never ever go see the person he referred me to, it would cause trust problems forever, and I would have probably killed myself (I'm not being dramatic here, literal) at the perceived rejection.
I think not taking on a client outside of your ability to treat is a no-brainer. Referring out someone who's grown attached is a whole lot trickier.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2004, at 9:34:28
In reply to Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by Aphrodite on November 27, 2004, at 8:01:05
DO be flexible. Clients aren't eggs, twelve standard to the box. They're individuals.
That's my therapist's greatest strength. He's willing to evaluate what's going on and change course if necessary.
And DO be committed to the therapeutic relationship. Trust is a big issue with so many of us. Knowing that a therapist can get angry, or feel frustrated, yet remain committed to working it through, is healing in itself.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 1, 2004, at 10:14:59
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on December 1, 2004, at 9:31:40
Oh I definately agree with referrals and/or terminations for long term clients. I was thinking after the initial interview or session or two, if it's outside of your realm, you really have no business beginning treatment, unless you are the only game in town. And if that's the case, you need to get a supervisor even if at a distance, ASAP.
Sometimes I think T's can get caught up in the idea that they can apply similar techniques to new (to them) problems. That's not necessarily the case.
gg
Posted by Daisym on December 1, 2004, at 10:20:11
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on December 1, 2004, at 10:14:59
problem is, lots of us don't disclose the "real" problem for a long time.
then what?
ESPECIALLY PTSD...
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.