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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1142 to 1166 of 1313. Go back in thread:
Posted by ctheg on November 28, 2004, at 10:41:21
In reply to Re: thank you!!!!, posted by dancingstar on November 28, 2004, at 3:09:07
I'd be very interested in taking some sort of action.
*c> I, too, have had my own business since 1988 and have also had to drop out of two classes that I just cannot make it through this quarter because of the withdrawal symptoms.
>
> Please consider joining me in pursing taking action against the makers of this drug for not alerting us to the dangers before we took it. I don't know about you, but I just wish I had been informed that this were possible so that I could have made an intelligent decision about whether or not I wanted to take a risk like this with my health.
>
> In any event, may you recover quickly!
Posted by dancingstar on November 28, 2004, at 10:48:26
In reply to Re: thank you!!!!, posted by ctheg on November 28, 2004, at 10:41:21
I've posted my email address in a few of my posts. Others have been advised to not overdo repeating themselves; so I don't want to push it.
Posted by ctheg on December 9, 2004, at 20:01:34
In reply to Re: thank you!!!!, posted by dancingstar on November 28, 2004, at 10:48:26
Well I did what some folks on this thread did - and i went to the health food store, bought a detox formula that cleans all systems - and got some homeopathic stuff - then I also got some motion sickness stuff at a local pharmacy. WOW do I feel better now.
The symptoms started on 11.27 or 28 and I not longer suffer from ANY of them.
The docotr told me I should go back on the meds and to wean off more slowly but the thought of going through it all over again made me just deal.
I couldn't drive the entire time I was withdrawling and it was horrible walking down the street. felt like I was about to fall over.
Thank you for sending the remedies through this forum. It really helped me geet through it all.
*C
Posted by roobie on December 9, 2004, at 20:38:52
In reply to Re: thank you!!!!, posted by ctheg on December 9, 2004, at 20:01:34
Well, I tried... I dropped the Effexor from 2x daily of 37.5mg down to just in the morning. I had the dizzy, nausea ... then it passed. I only lowered it because I thought my stress decreased and a friend suggested 'maybe I didn't need it anymore'. Well, the major aggression set back in and my nerves have been on fire. My g/p had allowed me to go from Paxil to Effexor because I thought it would help reduce the weight gain and apathy. No luck on the weight.
I checked in with my mom's p-doc who said that due to other circumstances, I probably have a lot of stress and 37.5mg is very low dosage and I should go back to 2x per day.
I suppose as with anything, some things work very well for people, while others cannot tolerate it.
Any positive support for Effexor... not to pick on it, but I hear so much of the concerns which I TOTALLY understand... but I could use some positives as I HAVE to believe there are some good experiences out there.
thnx.
Posted by pandareina on December 10, 2004, at 8:19:54
In reply to Effexor - again - any positive input?, posted by roobie on December 9, 2004, at 20:38:52
I tried many pills before getting into Effexor, and for me it was the drug that changed my life, for the best. It help with my depression, anxiety, apathy, self confidence and turned me into a positive person, always looking forward to the next challenge ahead. It did not help with my weight, I did not gain any, but did not loose like my doctor said it may. My doses varied from 75 mg to 225 mg a day through the 4 years I was on Effexor. I stopped a couple of months ago because I want to start a family and I am doing fine.
Good luck to you!
v.> Well, I tried... I dropped the Effexor from 2x daily of 37.5mg down to just in the morning. I had the dizzy, nausea ... then it passed. I only lowered it because I thought my stress decreased and a friend suggested 'maybe I didn't need it anymore'. Well, the major aggression set back in and my nerves have been on fire. My g/p had allowed me to go from Paxil to Effexor because I thought it would help reduce the weight gain and apathy. No luck on the weight.
>
> I checked in with my mom's p-doc who said that due to other circumstances, I probably have a lot of stress and 37.5mg is very low dosage and I should go back to 2x per day.
>
> I suppose as with anything, some things work very well for people, while others cannot tolerate it.
>
> Any positive support for Effexor... not to pick on it, but I hear so much of the concerns which I TOTALLY understand... but I could use some positives as I HAVE to believe there are some good experiences out there.
>
> thnx.
Posted by Jenna Starrett on December 18, 2004, at 3:15:23
In reply to Re: Worm - Antidepressants and suicide, posted by PoohBear on July 12, 2004, at 10:08:19
Hi, my name is Jenna, and I am trying to detox from Effexor. I have suffered from depression since 1997 and have success with A/D's to alleviate it, however kept switching due to numerous side effects. My Doctor was trying to switch me from Effexor to Wellbutrin, so he cut my 300mg dose to 150mg after I was on 150mg of Wellbutrin for about a month. I was having terrible side effects from Effexor, "volts" in my body if I waited too long between doses, major thirst and frequent urination, weight gain and overall, it made my depression worse. I had only been on Effexor for about 6 months.... but during this time I got so depressed I held a knife blade under a flame and seared my skin, I guess just to make sure I was still alive! (This is crazy! it was a 3rd degree burn!). Well, 6 days after the reduction of Effexor, it unexpectedly hit me. I woke up after sleeping about 12 hours (not normal for me)and thought I was dying. I began to cry uncontrollably and felt severe "volts" through my whole body (I recognized this feeling from times I didn't take my dose on time) so I assumed I was having a withdrawal from Effexor. I took a pill of Effexor and ate, thinking it would help me feel better, but it was too late. I got a SEVERE headache and began to vomit. I called my Doctor to confirm this was withdrawals, and he said it was (I wish he would have informed me of this before!!!) By this time I had already called my friend because I was too confused and sick to care for myself. I ended up at the ER with morphine in my IV. After this, they placed me on the psych ward for 72 hours so I could be monitored for the withdrawal(my visit to the psych ward cost $900.00!!!). The most ironic thing about this is that I was not depressed at the time (I think the Wellbutrin was really starting to help). I was really hurt that my regular Doctor did not come up to visit or call me (I haven't heard from him since). While in the hospital, the ward Psych Doctor took me from 150mg of Effexor to 0mg. Well.... I am coming up on day 6 again and feeling major "volts". I am too scared to take Effexor for one more moment. I am preparing for pure hell and really scared (but ironically not depressed). Please pray for me... and I will pray for all of you. Thank you, Jenna
Posted by TrinityX1 on December 18, 2004, at 9:02:33
In reply to Thanks for listening to my story :), posted by Jenna Starrett on December 18, 2004, at 3:15:23
Jenna,
I will pray for you and I can definately relate with you on the "volts" going through your body ... so can every one else comming off of Effexor .. the withdrawl symptoms really SUCK !! It took me 7-8 days to have relief from those annoying volts and I was only on 75 mg so I can only speculate on how much worse yours were. But not to worry, they go away, just hang in there and WELBUTRIN does work very well. I am not on anything anymore for my depression but a frien of mine did switch from Effexor to Welbutrin and says that the Welbutrin is SO MUCH BETTER for her. I do pray that it will work much better for you as well. Depression SUCKS and it will ruin your life IF YOU LET IT so stay stron and work from within. One thing to always remember ... You are a divine and unique manifestation of GOD and he does not make mistakes, so take care of yourself just as you would if you had to answer to GOD tomorrow. Be good to yourself and know that you are getting better every day. Hang in there and make sure that you have a lot of support when you need it, and not just from medications, people can give you thinkgs that medicine can not. Know that you are perfect the way you are and GOD will be there to help you take care of the rest. God Bless you.
Posted by dancingstar on December 18, 2004, at 12:19:27
In reply to Thanks for listening to my story :), posted by Jenna Starrett on December 18, 2004, at 3:15:23
Jenna,
If you can get out of the house, try to get some Benadryl. It's really the only thing that helps. I've tried everything. The other thing that hasn't harmed me is SAMe.
A week ago I started to take L-Tryptophan, but in the same week my throat has been kind of closing up on me, and I've been having an allergic reaction to something. I haven't changed anything else. Last night I simply forgot to take it, and I woke up feeling better. All I mean by this is that you have to be careful cause we are all different, and different things work well for some of us and not for others. The Benadryl, though, seems to be universal on this drama. I say this cause you're getting the Wellbutrin anyway; so you really just need to counteract whatever effect removing the Effexor is having on your system. Please post your reaction with the FDA when you have the strength to do it. I will post the link for you.
I've been doing this for three months. You'll be okay, honest!! My heart truly goes out to you. If you ever decide you want to join my list of people that are considering pursuing legal action against Wyeth for misrepresenting Effexor to us because we have been so sick, please drop me a line at Bebe0217@aol.com and I will add you to the list.
If not, try to hang in there. Write here. Everyone is really supportive cause so many of us have had a hard time with withdrawal from Effexor, though you may be at the top of the list ;-) Go slowly. Treat yourself gently. The doctors do seem to be less than understanding abou this, which is why I think you should -- we all should write the FDA.
-Bebe
Posted by dancingstar on December 18, 2004, at 12:21:58
In reply to Re: Thanks for listening to my story :) » Jenna Starrett, posted by dancingstar on December 18, 2004, at 12:19:27
Here is the link to the FDA so that you can tell them what happened:
Posted by Jenna Starrett on December 21, 2004, at 22:35:54
In reply to Re: Thanks for listening to my story :) » dancingstar, posted by dancingstar on December 18, 2004, at 12:21:58
Thank you for the support :) I hope everyone feels better today. I am taking one day at a time. I can't take benadryl because it makes me feel jittery for some reason (of course jitters is Disney World compared to Effexor). I did get a box of Claratin D (24 hour) however, and it seems to really help! I still have some "volts" in the day but I can function. It scares me though that when the Claratin wears off I still feel very sick....major VOLTS, nausea (really dizzy), headaches.... Does anyone know when this will go away? I am on Wellbutrin and my depression is better but I am seriously getting afraid of taking all these chemicals. I am really shocked and afraid at how strong they are! I hope Wellbutrin isn't strong like this too. When I get bad withdrawal moments I just try to get real still and pretend an angel has his beautiful warm fluffy wings wrapped around me. I know I won't get too sick then... and feel safe. P.s... thank you for the FDA web site. I am going to sit down one day when I can think clearly and fill it out. I would also like to do whatever I can to get Effexor taken off the market, or at least labeled with very clear warning labels about the withdrawls. I have to go look for my angel now... Jenna.
Posted by dancingstar on December 22, 2004, at 1:55:34
In reply to Re: Thanks for listening to my story :), posted by Jenna Starrett on December 21, 2004, at 22:35:54
Hang in there Jenna. I quit cold turkey three months ago. There's not much left of the original pain except for the brain thing in the morning and the bathroom drama, I can't leave it sometimes. Besides that, I'm completely fine. And I've had it as bad as anyone that I've read so far. I went shopping tonight, and I didn't get home until 11:00 p.m. I can function, pretty much. Okay, so I've skipped most Christmas parties, I'm a little more anxious than usual, but honestly the storm is truly over. I can take a deep breath. The sweating is gone, I can exercise. No more real pain. No fever, and I'm not afraid I will die before morning.
You'll be okay. You won't have to take the Claratin forever, though I get that it feels like you will. I even thought I would have to take the Benadryl forever. Just be patient. Very patient. Lots of water and maybe add lemon to it, like I was told. We're here for you, promise. If you want to, write to me, and I will give you my phone number in case you freak out in the middle of the night. I think I wish someone had done that for me, though I would not have called. It's just nice to know that you can in case of an emergency.
Bebe
bebe0217@aol.com
Posted by nelke on December 30, 2004, at 21:14:57
In reply to thank you!!!!, posted by anna1banana on November 24, 2004, at 10:30:02
I am so thankful for all the support and info on this message board!
I have been taking Effexor 75mg daily for just 4 month to help me through some tough times (lost my son). Told my PA that I was ready to get off and her advise was to do the weaning "thing" over a 6 week period. Well, I did not take my pill on Tuesday and did not feel to bad. Decided to skip the next day too and just go cold turkey. Today is my 3rd day off Effexor and I am soooo sick. I have all the withdrawal symptoms mentioned in the posts but I will never ever again take another dose of Effexor!!!!!
I saw that someone suggested taking Benedryl to ease the symptoms - will try to get to the store :) and get some tomorrow.
Any idea how long the withdrawal period could be?
I don't have to be back to work until Monday which would be the 7th day off Effexor for me.Thanks
Nelke
Posted by dancingstar on December 30, 2004, at 21:45:55
In reply to Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by nelke on December 30, 2004, at 21:14:57
75 mg for only 4 months shouldn't be too terribly long...but if you feel flat out rotten, you may consider following your doctor's advice and cut back slowly.
Basically what I am saying is to do as I say and not as I did cause what I did was not the "recommended" way to stop taking Effexor, and if a doctor actually advised you otherwise and you feel really terrible -- I dunno, it was just so darn hard. Since you only took E for four months, you might not have that difficult a time, and it could be over more quickly -- with any luck within a week or two, but there's no point in stressing your body if it gets to be too hard. k?
I guess I'm bit confused here. I can't tell if people that wean off the drug have it any easier...or not. It seems like some don't have any trouble at all and others go through hell. I don't understand why or if there is a difference in the chemical makeup of some people than of others and if so, what that difference is. I even wrote to a friend today that is a scientist that works with drugs to see if he might be able to help me in any way, and I was incredibly disappointed with his reaction. I felt as though I had been slapped across the face. Here is a line from his response to me:
"you do know e.g. that of the 1 million complaints lodged to the FCC over
the past year for indecency that most were simple repetitions of 3
letters from the same 80 people using different names. A fact checker at
the NY Times discovered this. I consider that a conspiracy."So that you know, I never mentioned anything at all about "conspiracies" to him. This comment of his was in reponse to my including a link to the numbers that you can click on to read what people have said about Effexor in the petition. I had been hoping that he could help me by breaking down Effexor and helping me to understand why it does what it does to some of us. He took my attack of Effexor as an attack on the entire scientific community and was personally insulted.
He berated me for stopping the drug cold turkey and placed the blame for all of my problems with Effexor squarely on my doctor. I went on to explain that I lost three years to severe fatigue and fibromyalgia that doesn't exist now that I've stopped taking Effexor; that I still have stomach problems, etc., etc.; that even my internist had no idea that any of this was related to the drug...to no avail. He thinks it's a great drug. I'm still kind of reeling from his email and wondering what I said to provoke his response other than tell him what has happened to many of us.
(Deep sigh) Despite my feelings about Effexor and even your own, that's why I feel obligated to remind you to be careful about the cold turkey thing :-)....
Blessings,
Bebe
Posted by Jenna Starrett on December 30, 2004, at 22:55:20
In reply to Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by nelke on December 30, 2004, at 21:14:57
Thanks for all the support from everyone! Once I read here that Claratin D may help with the withdrawals, I immediately went down and got some. I was taking a 24 hour Claratin D every night and I was feeling pretty good during the day. I would have some of the "volts" during the day but pretty minor. I could really tell at about the 23 hour (of my 24 hour Claratin D) that I started to feel more volts and all, so I would immediately take another one not wanting to take chances. Well, 2 nights ago I ran out and thought it had been a while, and maybe the Effexor was out of my system by now and I could get off the Claratin. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I got thorough one day ok (minor stuff) but that night when I went to sleep I had nightmares. I woke up thinking someone was trying to kill me, and didn't even know where I was (very disoriented). I took Xanax (and lots of prayer) and slept till morning but had to force myself to get up (the first time I had these withdrawl symptoms it made me sleep until 5pm and by then they were "full blown". Anyway I drug myself to Walgreens and got more Claratin to take right away. I continued to feel disoriented, crying, aggitated, "volts", nausea and a major headache until it finally kicked in again. I guess I will be buying Claratin forever now. Nelke, I don't know if you will react like I did, but my initial withdraw (which put me in the hospital by the way) came about 3-5 days after going from 300 to 150mg. They took me off of it completely in the hospital and I refuse to take that poison ever again (I feel pretty good on Wellbutrin now, at least I have my sex drive back!!!) I would probably be going back in the hospital if it wern't for Claratin. I have no idea how long this will last but thank God I found this website! Also, I went into the hospital on the 13th of Dec so about 2 weeks and counting for withdrawls. I guess from what I'm reading it could take months. The crazy/sad/angry thing is that my Doc never told me what to expect for withdrawals, so I ended up in the ER and 2 days of voluntary psych observation to make sure I wasn't dying. All of that(and my thoundands of dollars in medical bills) could have been avoided with a little Claratin (or not putting me on the poison in the first place). God Bless, Jenna
Posted by worm on December 31, 2004, at 10:31:27
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period? » nelke, posted by dancingstar on December 30, 2004, at 21:45:55
Okay, it may be me, and someone who is better at number-crunching could tell, but is it even POSSIBLE for 80 people to generate a MILLION letters? Is this in e-mail, so that they could just mass-mail with different names? Maybe they put out a letter, and real people just signed their name to it, which is why it is word-for-word, but still a million people felt strongly enough that it represented their feelings to send it along? I would need more info before I bought into a conspiracy theory, or totally ruled it out, either way. I can just see them, "Oh yeah, these people have been taking a mind-altering drug, they must all be crazy, so let's ignore them" Bad idea, for many reasons.
JMHO,
worm
Posted by dancingstar on December 31, 2004, at 11:22:17
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by worm on December 31, 2004, at 10:31:27
I get the feeling, worm, but I'm honestly not sure that he was talking about Janet Jackson and trying to say that the complaints to the FCC re the Superbowl incident was the real conspiracy, not possible defects with Effexor or the withdrawl from it. It took me half the morning yesterday to figure it out but that has to be what he was talking about, doesn't it?
Posted by nelke on December 31, 2004, at 11:36:33
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by worm on December 31, 2004, at 10:31:27
Thanks for the replies and support.
I am now on day 4 "cold turkey" withdrawal. (was on small dose - 75mg daily for 4 month only) Last night was terrible - major brain zaps (feels like voltage) and nightmares (felt like a participant in Freddie Krueger movie)and vomitting.
Considering my small dose and short time on Effexor - the withdrawals are just terrible. I can't imaging what everyone else went/is going through. I don't feel to bad this morning - but I am basically just laying around on the couch and watching tv :)
I will continue to go cold turkey and never ever take another Effexor.
This drug worked wonders for my situation but the hellish withdrawals certainly outweigh the benefits.
I would be more than happy to join a petition drive, write letters, make phone calls etc to get the "word" out on Effexor.
I can't wait to see my doctor and have a talk with her about the withdrawals - will ask her to take small dose herself for a few weeks and than go off. I don't think she would ever prescribe this stuff again.
I was amazed at the amount of signatures on the current petition on dr.bob.org.
I am so glad to have a place to "vent".
Thanks - and Happy New Year to all - hang in there
Nelke
Posted by lia mason on January 1, 2005, at 13:31:43
In reply to Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by nelke on December 30, 2004, at 21:14:57
Hi...
I've been on and off Effexor 3 times. Twice I had withdrawal and my doc prescriped low dose Lexapro which worked great.
This past time--no withdrawal. But I was switching to Cymbalta and we did it fast... weaned off Effexor and built up Cymbalta simultaneously.
I would never do cold turkey with Effexor.
Lia
Posted by nelke on January 1, 2005, at 15:54:05
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period? » nelke, posted by lia mason on January 1, 2005, at 13:31:43
> Hi...
>
> I've been on and off Effexor 3 times. Twice I had withdrawal and my doc prescriped low dose Lexapro which worked great.
>
> This past time--no withdrawal. But I was switching to Cymbalta and we did it fast... weaned off Effexor and built up Cymbalta simultaneously.
>
> I would never do cold turkey with Effexor.
>
> LiaHi Lia
You are right - I would probally not go cold turkey if I had to do it over again.
This is day 5 off the Effexor for me and I am feeling lots better. Found some pain medication in my medicine cupboard yesterday and been taking that. (Oxycodone leftover from a dental procedure)That took the edge off.
Last night had only a few brain "zaps" but could not really sleep well at all and off course drifted in and out of some really scary nightmares.
Sweated a bunch and also itched all over my body.
This morning I was watching tv for a bit and just cried and cried about some sad news. Felt really hyped up and happy an hour later. My moods are sooo out of sync right now.
I will run out of my pain meds by tonight and hope that day 6 will be much better without taking anything but asprin if needed.
The nights are really the worst.
Nelke
Posted by dancingstar on January 1, 2005, at 16:02:33
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by nelke on January 1, 2005, at 15:54:05
Hang in there Nelke. It took me three months to feel pretty close to normal but not completely.
Still, I feel at least 100 times better than when I was taking Effexor as I didn't know that I shouldn't have been taking it and it was making me very ill. (Which is worse?)
Posted by miniowner on January 1, 2005, at 21:53:52
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by nelke on January 1, 2005, at 15:54:05
I have been taking Effexor XR for about 2-3 years for chronic depression. The side effects I experienced included progressively worse numbness in my hands and face. I decided to try life without it. I went from 225mg to 150 (1 week) 75 (1week) 37.5 (1 week). This was the protocol established by my doctor. I have been without it for about 4 days and I am soooo sick. The flu would be a welcome relief at this point. Today I've had this really weird sensation in my head. Is this going to last long???
Posted by dancingstar on January 1, 2005, at 22:29:32
In reply to Re: Effexor - how long is the withdrawal period?, posted by miniowner on January 1, 2005, at 21:53:52
It may take a while. Some people, they say, do well with Prozac added in. I didn't want to take anything by day 6 cause I figured it would be over any minute...it wasn't.
***Benadryl or something like it helps. St. John's Wort, Rescue Remedy, Valarium, SAMe, 5HTP, if you are not allergic to it, Tryptophan -- I'm allergic. Favorite food at my worst was small red potatoes, chocolate chip cookies. tomatoes maybe. Tea. Gingerale. Flan, but I couldn't keep it down. This coming from the original no sweets, low carb girl. Haven't seen her (me) since September. Make sure you get your vitamins, Omega3's are supposed to be really good, too.
I quit 150 mg all at once; so what I did might be worse, but it's possible that you may get better and then get sick again so be very patient with yourself. Tell everyone around you that you love them and to not take anything that you say or do now seriously. You probably won't want to talk to anyone for a while. Listening is easier.
Besides that, anything that makes you feel better and doesn't hurt you or someone else, especially laughter...this is good, but tears are okay, too. We're all with you. You'll be okay.
Bebe
Posted by Fathe on January 9, 2005, at 15:35:55
In reply to thank you!!!!, posted by anna1banana on November 24, 2004, at 10:30:02
I am in day 2 of my self-imposed weaning off of 75mg Effexor. Yesterday, I went 30 hours (only 6 after my first "missed" dose and the zaps, nausea, intense sweats and eye problems started and I took my first reduced dose 37.5 mg pill. After it kicked in (about 60 minutes) I was fine. Today, I am approaching the 30 hour mark again since that does yesterday and so far nothing major. I hope to increase the intervals over the next 2 weeks and finally stop Effexor. I am also armed with my Benadryl - not sure why that helped yesterday except maybe it makes me sleepy and being sleepy dulls the side effects. If I ever need to be back on an anti-depressant I will make sure it is something beside Effexor. This is the second time in 2 years I have attempted to stop Effexor. Last time I tried a totally differnt approach and the withdrawal became so uncomfortable and dispruptive, I finally relented and went back on. But I feel better this time, armed with the suggestions from this web site and the determination to get through this.
Posted by JGE on January 10, 2005, at 18:59:46
In reply to Effexor withdrawal - very bad news, posted by janey on November 1, 1998, at 16:30:34
Hi people, this all makes interesting reading.
These side effects are amazing. I was on such a low dose (75mg) that my doctor told me to stop and not wean off. Day 3 and the "volts" started with the dizziness. Day 4 worse and now wanting to cry at the slightest sad instance (movie etc.). I am out of Effexor but if I had some I would take it because this is unbearable.
By the way, I DID wean myself. I had half my prescribed dose for 1 week and then stopped. This is very difficult to write!
It's Saturday today, I'm calling my doctor on Monday.
Maybe I'll have someone get some claritin for me.
Good luck everyone. If there is light at the end of this I don't see it.
Posted by partlycloudy on January 10, 2005, at 18:59:52
In reply to Re: Effexor withdrawal - very bad news, posted by JGE on January 8, 2005, at 17:10:40
benadryl is good if you can take it. I was on 150mg at my peak, and at 75mg for several months. My p-doc had me taper very slowly, so I'd be pretty angry with my doc if she'd told me to just stop taking it.
p.s. stopping wellbutrin was bad. slept for days, it felt like. nothing is easy, i guess.
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