Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 868597

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I would really appreciate some advice and insight

Posted by Asya on December 13, 2008, at 19:59:33

Hi all-

I am really hoping someone can shed some light or commiserate with me. I am almost 30 years old but I have never had a serious boyfriend and I don't really undestand what this FEELS like or what it is supposed to involve. I have been physically intimate wih men, my sex drive isn't an issue, it is more that I hate dating, don't really have a desire to do it much, and never really feel those sparks or anything with anyone. I don't have much of a motivation to really spend time with a guy in an intimate way (meaning emotionally intimate). I don't know if this is making sense, but my bottom line is - I don't know what it is I am supposed to do to be with someone, even when guys like me I can't bring myself to reciprocate. Any insihts would be appreciated.

 

Re: I would really appreciate some advice and insi

Posted by caraher on December 13, 2008, at 21:51:25

In reply to I would really appreciate some advice and insight, posted by Asya on December 13, 2008, at 19:59:33

I guess I'm just wondering whether you're dissatisfied with being this way. Could be that you just need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Nothing wrong with that!

 

Re: I would really appreciate some advice and insi Asya

Posted by raisinb on December 14, 2008, at 14:18:13

In reply to I would really appreciate some advice and insight, posted by Asya on December 13, 2008, at 19:59:33

Lots of possibilities here! My thoughts are:

1) You haven't met the right person yet, or
2) You have some problems with intimacy (and most of us do, that's why there's therapy!) It is hard to feel anything for someone when you do not know how to be vulnerable with them.
3) This is a long shot, but how do you feel about your sexuality? Do you feel like you might desire women, or connect with women, more than you do men? I hope that doesn't offend you; it's just something that came to mind when I read your post. Sometimes people who eventually decide that they are more gay than straight begin by being unable to connect intimately with the opposite sex. I personally have had experiences with both women and men (I am female) and have been in love with both. Sexuality is complicated and not always black and white.

Good luck ;)


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