Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 764152

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Going through phases of breakup

Posted by Squiggles on June 19, 2007, at 9:18:17

I think i'm going through phases now.


The pain part is getting manageable. The anger
a little more controllable, and now i have shame.

I am ashamed that i invested approximately 30 years of my life trying to help and love a mentally ill partner. All that time, support of partner's family, suicide prevention of partner, medical care, financial help, and appropriate job placement for high IQ of partner, patience--all that stuff that makes up love-- could have been better spent on some truly needy and deserving people.

For example truly disabled and poor kids, more attention to my family who was the butt of..., more attention to my friends, and more attention to myself.

Now, I am ashamed as i understand how the partner and a special friend and the world the partner live in, including partner's family, have always looked down upon me, corresponded humiliating remarks about me, never really appreciated nor wanted an ethnic outsider in their midst. Sometimes life can be full of nasty surprises.

It really has been my fault. And I'm ashamed.
This phase is tough, as it requires a decision of the heart and mind. The practical mess it has left is very problematic, as i am now middle-aged, poor, mentally ill, and without financial resources except from partner.


:(

Squiggles

 

Re: Going through phases of breakup Squiggles

Posted by Phillipa on June 22, 2007, at 22:09:08

In reply to Going through phases of breakup, posted by Squiggles on June 19, 2007, at 9:18:17

Squiggles I will e-mail you. Don't worry it's okay. Love Phillipa

 

Blue Skies Phillipa

Posted by Squiggles on June 27, 2007, at 11:57:21

In reply to Re: Going through phases of breakup Squiggles, posted by Phillipa on June 22, 2007, at 22:09:08

Thank you Phillipa--- i think you stood by
me during the really tough days.

So... i think i'm starting to get *part* of the
picture, and really i mean *part* as more is to
come. Enough prodding for now.

I think the bottom line is, that many people
themselves mentally ill, will accept all the help
that is given to them, but if the person they are
helped by, remains ill for too long (even though comparatively much healthier), they get fed
up and resent having to give any help themselves.

I can understand that. Not everyone is like that. It is a question of character or lack of it if you like. But i should have been told long ago, or i should have realized it myself. But things could be much much worse.

So, now it's a question of helping myself.

I think I'm making some progress.

Squiggles

 

Re: Blue Skies Squiggles

Posted by Squiggles on June 27, 2007, at 13:21:19

In reply to Blue Skies Phillipa, posted by Squiggles on June 27, 2007, at 11:57:21

No, it's more than that:

- beauty
- health
- intelligence
- sexual appeal
- mental health
- physical prowess
- popularity
- the right ethnicity
- seduction
- flattery
- close proximity


- and most important

------------------ Y O U T H -------------------


Yup.... what can you do; you just have
to accept the facts of life.

By George, I think i've got it.

Squiggles

 

Re: Blue Skies Squiggles

Posted by Phillipa on June 27, 2007, at 21:31:34

In reply to Re: Blue Skies Squiggles, posted by Squiggles on June 27, 2007, at 13:21:19

Squiggles me too. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Blue Skies

Posted by wheatlandgirl on December 6, 2007, at 12:15:39

In reply to Re: Blue Skies Squiggles, posted by Squiggles on June 27, 2007, at 13:21:19

It's interesting '...mental health..' is like the fifth thing listed....my mental health used to be so poor I'd end up in extremely unhealthy relationships...my health completely compromised my decisions to the point where my love life left me homeless and carless...happy to say now, I've made great choices due to my illness being in remission and am with a great guy....


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