Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 995353

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am I just being a pain now?

Posted by manduh on August 31, 2011, at 3:29:05

Today I met with a new therapist. The whole appointment was uncomfortable for me. First off, I'm not very comfortable with male doctors (or therapists apparently), I didn't actually know I was going to be seeing a guy until I got there. Other than that, he sort of treated me like I was a child who was upset about something. I'm not one of those people who likes to be coddled by a therapist. Whenever I answered a question he'd say "mhmmm" and look at me in a "aww you poor thing" way.
This is the second therapist I've met in the past month or so that I haven't liked.
Now I'm considering asking my PNP if she can take me on as a therapy patient as well. Though I'm not sure if it's possible for her to do both (I don't know if there are rules about that sort of thing).
But I feel like I'm being a pain in the bum because I'm being really picky about therapists.

 

Re: am I just being a pain now?

Posted by Solstice on August 31, 2011, at 6:06:08

In reply to am I just being a pain now?, posted by manduh on August 31, 2011, at 3:29:05

> Today I met with a new therapist. The whole appointment was uncomfortable for me. First off, I'm not very comfortable with male doctors (or therapists apparently), I didn't actually know I was going to be seeing a guy until I got there. Other than that, he sort of treated me like I was a child who was upset about something. I'm not one of those people who likes to be coddled by a therapist. Whenever I answered a question he'd say "mhmmm" and look at me in a "aww you poor thing" way.
> This is the second therapist I've met in the past month or so that I haven't liked.
> Now I'm considering asking my PNP if she can take me on as a therapy patient as well. Though I'm not sure if it's possible for her to do both (I don't know if there are rules about that sort of thing).
> But I feel like I'm being a pain in the bum because I'm being really picky about therapists.

It is NOT 'picky' to insist on having a therapist you can genuinely connect with. It's fundamental that this element be there. And it's not your 'fault' if it's not. A therapist that you don't feel connected to is not going to be able to do anything to help you. It might help to just say it real candidly... "I really want therapy to be successful.. but for some reason I just don't feel the connection with you that I want to feel." There's a chance that saying it out loud might open up the possibility. Regardless, the therapist should know that this means they need to help you find someone else. To accept therapy with a therapist you don't feel connected to is like expecting a marriage to work with someone who doesn't 'get' you. It's just fundamental. There is nothing wrong with your need to feel connected.

Solstice

 

Re: am I just being a pain now? manduh

Posted by floatingbridge on August 31, 2011, at 19:30:05

In reply to am I just being a pain now?, posted by manduh on August 31, 2011, at 3:29:05

I dislike, ok hate looking for a therapist.

So I sat through one year of a woman who I didn't think even liked me who'd sip on her iced coffee during session.

Another two years with a very sweet woman who would tilt her head and say awwww.

And three years with a man who didn't really ever see me.

When I do the math, it's pathetic.

Be picky. It's you. If you're going to show up and do the work, you need a good partner to align with you.


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