Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 995084

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Ups and downs of new therapy

Posted by floatingbridge on August 28, 2011, at 11:07:06

I like my new therapist. She listens to me, asks direct questions in a firm but gentle way, and does not seem afraid to lines of query, though she always has asked if she may change topics or ask about particular subjects before hand.

On my third visit, we were moving along when she announced she had a free hour afterwards, and asked if I felt comfortable continuing. I did.

She wants to get a though history and begin to sense where
feelings I have now are familiar and have appeared elsewhere. We are preparing for EMDR work,down the road, if, again, that feels comfortable.

Has anyone here experienced EMDR?

So, in our third/fourth session she feels I am dealing with bipolar along with other issues. She worked for the county for a number of years before private practice, and spoke of how
some clients had case files so thick depending on the dx in vogue and who the multiple providers they might have seen.

The bipolar dx felt very familiar and a great relief at first. I was dx'd as cyclothymic years ago. I had tried to tell the old (now toxic) doc this, but he dismissed it for MDD and chronic PTSD. He would ridicule my attempts to explain how I experience what seemed like some Boderline features.

My new threrapist listens without any perceivable charge and will talk with my new pdoc to work on optimal treatments.
She was the first person to say my depressions sounded psychotic, and in such a way that it did not hurt or frighten me.

However, days later, yesterday I felt awful. I realized I didn't want to be bipolar and had eagerly run form the dx given half a chance because I have wanted to run from my family of origin and didn't want this genetic piece. I felt ashamed and alone and frightened. My family of origin does not believe in treatment. They resort to eccentric religiosity, and being ill or taking medicine is seen as a moral weakness and being out of god's grace.

Childhood PTSD complicates my acceptance. At least I have a neutral therapist who may help pull me into the here and now.


 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy floatingbridge

Posted by Solstice on August 28, 2011, at 14:28:41

In reply to Ups and downs of new therapy, posted by floatingbridge on August 28, 2011, at 11:07:06

Fb... based on what I've heard so far about your new therapist, I'll betcha anything that if you describe how you felt several days later (not wanting the dx, etc), she will be able to help you with that. I have a therapist who is really good at helping me figure out how to be okay with all kinds of things.. and yours sounds like she has a very similar style.

Solstice

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy Solstice

Posted by floatingbridge on August 28, 2011, at 17:03:39

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy floatingbridge, posted by Solstice on August 28, 2011, at 14:28:41

Sol, that is a great suggestion. I just might use that as a focus/starting point for my next session..

Thank you for an astute observation. I'm not sure I would have thought to do that myself.

fb

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy floatingbridge

Posted by Solstice on August 29, 2011, at 6:20:15

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy Solstice, posted by floatingbridge on August 28, 2011, at 17:03:39

> Sol, that is a great suggestion. I just might use that as a focus/starting point for my next session..
>
> Thank you for an astute observation. I'm not sure I would have thought to do that myself.
>
> fb

:-) I don't think I would have tho't of it myself, either... it's just I've been in this therapeutic relationship for such a long time now.. and any time I've been out-of-sorts about anything, T picks up on it, and doesn't let me get away with not talking about it. I've always been so terribly reluctant to reveal what's going on inside.. fearful of being misunderstood and of being rejected. But T has not let me get away with holding back, and as a result, I really have learned that there's not much that can't be worked out if two people will talk. T modeled it for me over and over and over again - all the relational hiccups that take place - including therapeutic missteps - If I just put words to my feelings, it WILL be worked out. The main thing T has said all these years is: "I need to be able to trust you that you'll tell me if anything's amiss. If you'll tell me, we will work it out together." And we have. Every time. Doesn't matter whether it's about the therapeutic relationship - or other things causing me angst. T and I start talking about it, and my circumstances may not change, but my feeling about them or response to them frequently changes, and the main thing is that I'm left being okay!

Sol

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy Solstice

Posted by Phillipa on August 29, 2011, at 11:28:26

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy floatingbridge, posted by Solstice on August 29, 2011, at 6:20:15

You are very fortunate to have from someone who really listens to you have tried for years and it's always their agenda not mine. Phillipa

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy

Posted by emmanuel98 on August 29, 2011, at 22:16:23

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy floatingbridge, posted by Solstice on August 29, 2011, at 6:20:15

My p-doc once said that the gift I have given him is a relationship of mutual trust. Like you, I learned to trust that if I talked about things, no matter how shameful or hard, he would listen and help me.

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy Phillipa

Posted by Solstice on August 31, 2011, at 5:56:33

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy Solstice, posted by Phillipa on August 29, 2011, at 11:28:26

> You are very fortunate to have from someone who really listens to you have tried for years and it's always their agenda not mine. Phillipa

Yes, I am indeed very fortunate. I am not sure how I would have survived if not for having access to this therapeutic relationship.

Solstice

 

Re: Ups and downs of new therapy

Posted by Solstice on August 31, 2011, at 6:00:15

In reply to Re: Ups and downs of new therapy, posted by emmanuel98 on August 29, 2011, at 22:16:23

> My p-doc once said that the gift I have given him is a relationship of mutual trust. Like you, I learned to trust that if I talked about things, no matter how shameful or hard, he would listen and help me.

:-) Mine said something very similar to me - and it was potently heartfelt... something about what a gift my trust and vulnerability is. Like it's a privilege to have me in their care. That is a pretty therapeutically powerful thing - to have someone feel that way. Better than sex :-)

Solstice


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