Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 977627

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Feeling anxious

Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

I had actually scheduled only one session next week. No grand announcement. No plans for the future. Just only one session next week.

That must have upset the fates. My mother, who has been quiet lately, suddenly started piling troubles on me. And worse yet, my A1c levels rose alarmingly this quarter. I swear I ate no worse than usual. Maybe even better. But my levels rose from the mid 7's to the low 10's. I don't know what that means to me. They called, told me the result, asked if I'd been taking my medications, then said they'd have to talk to the doctor. I dread knowing what comes next. Insulin maybe.

I could probably cut down on sugar without much sadness. But I think I'd rather die than give up crusty white bread, or potatoes, or pasta. I really think I would.

I just want to curl up in a ball, and suddenly it matters that I won't see him for a week. Not that he can help. What can he do? But I am calling to try to get my Tues appt back anyway.

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

In reply to Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 17:56:16

Good grief. How did that happen?

Some sort of subconscious hit the wrong board mistake? Sorry about that. Meant to be on Psychology.

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by obsidian on January 21, 2011, at 21:08:16

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

I'm sorry Dinah :-(
Can u ask about another session?

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by sigismund on January 21, 2011, at 22:36:23

In reply to Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

A1c?

What's that stand for?

I do like crusty white bread, but I wonder if you are being too liberal with your affections when it comes to potatoes and pasta?

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by sigismund on January 21, 2011, at 22:57:26

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by sigismund on January 21, 2011, at 22:36:23

Some measurement of glycation?


Uuuuhhh, well.....I know nothing about that. I found it so easy to abandon aspects of the European diet. Except (I should mention) alcohol.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2011, at 0:45:00

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

Dinah I read it on the other board and realized how anxious you must be. I'm so sorry. I don't feel you will have to give up all the things you like just count carbs and eat less a lot less. Learn to savor the tastes. If I could I would. Insulin when my Daughter was pregnant she had to use and said it gave her lots of energy. You must control diabetes as you know. I'd be anxious too so time consuming. I'm sorry. But maybe with diet it will be okay. Phillipa

 

Re: Feeling anxious sigismund

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:27:50

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by sigismund on January 21, 2011, at 22:36:23

Pasta perhaps. I've actually sort of lost my taste for potatoes, so maybe they aren't such a loss. I'm not sure how my family would feel about cutting back on pasta. My personal downfall is bread though.

I think the really depressing part is that I had expected them to go down. I had become aware of the relationship between carbs and those involuntary naps not caused by distress. My husband agrees that I've been much more careful than I ever have not to overdo the carbs. Except maybe for Christmas day and the yorkshire pudding.

So for it to have gone up 25% or so since my last quarterly readings, when I've cut down on carbs and have practically stopped sugars altogether is pretty depressing.

 

Re: Feeling anxious obsidian

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:31:15

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by obsidian on January 21, 2011, at 21:08:16

I did call him. He didn't call back.

I'm going to pretend he didn't call back because he wanted to give me a chance to change my mind about adding a session back. And I suppose I have. What could he do really?

My husband is being really nice. He knows my feelings well. He got really mad at a dietitian once for making me cry. He's also going to read through my books with me, since his ideas of what is healthy isn't necessarily what is actually healthy. It isn't at all intuitive.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:34:44

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2011, at 0:45:00

I really hope he's not going to suggest insulin. I really shouldn't have insulin on hand. I can't be relied upon to remember to take it, and I can't be relied upon to remember if I've already taken it. Not even to mention those times I get upset and have self destructive urges. I no more want to have insulin available than I want a gun in the house.

I wonder if I should tell the doctor that. I barely know the man.

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by Solstice on January 22, 2011, at 8:41:40

In reply to Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

> I had actually scheduled only one session next week. No grand announcement. No plans for the future. Just only one session next week.
>
> That must have upset the fates. My mother, who has been quiet lately, suddenly started piling troubles on me. And worse yet, my A1c levels rose alarmingly this quarter. I swear I ate no worse than usual. Maybe even better. But my levels rose from the mid 7's to the low 10's. I don't know what that means to me. They called, told me the result, asked if I'd been taking my medications, then said they'd have to talk to the doctor. I dread knowing what comes next. Insulin maybe.

Hi Dinah..

I have Type I, but I know a lot about how Type II works. An A1c in the 10's is very significant, and it sounds like you're aware of that. If you've been able to keep simple sugars and keep your A1c in the 7's with medications alone, but now suddenly had a jump, it may just be that your system is no longer able to manage the simple sugar foods. Bread and pasta should be fine - they are much more complex sugars. Do you have the equipment to check your blood sugar at home? If you do, you could experiment with it yourself to find out if cutting out simple sugar does the trick. If not, I'd highly recommend getting a meter.

If you end up having to add insulin - please know that it really isn't bad! Especially now-days. And with insulin (which is a hormone, as opposed to a drug that changes body chemistry), you would not be as confined with respect to food choices. I think the most important thing is having what you need to be able to monitor your blood sugar yourself. I check mine 2-3 times a day. In fact, right now I'm looking into a fairly new device that involves a subdermal sensor that communicates wirelessly with a handled (size of a Blackberry) and continuously monitors blood sugar levels. The beauty of this thing is that it also has an alarm on it. I have no symptoms of low blood sugar, which can be very problematic because without the physical symptoms to warn you, blood sugar can dip and you never know it until it's too late for you to fix it yourself. So with this device, I can set it to sound an alarm any time I drop to 50, so I can fix it before I lose the ability to fix it. So please don't feel dread about insulin, if you have to go that route. It beats the heck out of the problems high A1c's can cause..


Sol.


>
> I could probably cut down on sugar without much sadness. But I think I'd rather die than give up crusty white bread, or potatoes, or pasta. I really think I would.
>
> I just want to curl up in a ball, and suddenly it matters that I won't see him for a week. Not that he can help. What can he do? But I am calling to try to get my Tues appt back anyway.

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by Solstice on January 22, 2011, at 8:56:28

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:34:44

> I really hope he's not going to suggest insulin. I really shouldn't have insulin on hand. I can't be relied upon to remember to take it, and I can't be relied upon to remember if I've already taken it. Not even to mention those times I get upset and have self destructive urges. I no more want to have insulin available than I want a gun in the house.
>
> I wonder if I should tell the doctor that. I barely know the man.


When I wrote my last post, I hadn'd read these last three you wrote.

I want you to know that I know what you're talking about with insulin being similar to having a gun on hand. All I can say, is that when I was in the deepest dispair of my depression, for all my fantasy & research about using insulin to relieve my pain - I ultimately didn't. Of course, I didn't have a choice - because without insulin I *might* live one week. I hope your therapist calls Monday and gets you in - because I don't know about telling the prescribing dr. about this issue, but telling your therapist about it would be the way to go. Maybe you guys could work out a 'deal' where anytime an urge like that becomes intrusive, you have to call him. And I don't know if that would work for you.. I just know that ongoing high blood sugar will destroy a body in a million different ways. The only way to manage blood sugar is with insulin. If your pancreas isn't making enough, or if your body is not using it efficiently, then you'll have to inject it. And I'll tell you this: I've had Type I for 30+ years, and I just had a complete work-up. I have Zero complications. Zero. No retinopathy, no nerve damage, kidneys are perfect, everything is good. I don't want you to be afraid of insulin.

Solstice

 

Re: Feeling anxious Solstice

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 9:12:34

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by Solstice on January 22, 2011, at 8:41:40

Thanks, Solstice. That is a helpful way to think about it.

I had rather vaguely suspected that the jump had more to do with my pancreas getting tired than it did with my food choices since they keep getting healthier. Or, since my belly is getting as round as if I were pregnant without my weight changing, that something was going on with that. My last quarter was pretty stressful with work, and I find that whenever something in my body changes for the worse it's usually after a stressful period at work.

My doctor was apparently one of those who didn't push the daily readings so much, as long as the quarterlies were ok. I had called his office a few times because my fasting blood sugars were high, though my after meal blood sugars were more or less what you'd expect. He basically said not to worry about it, so I mostly quit testing unless I am feeling bad. Well, to be honest, when I'm feeling bad I might actively avoid testing because it might upset me. I'm a bit of an ostrich.

I suppose I should start testing to see how foods affect me. My boss has one of those monitors. It has helped him immensely. He used to get so sugar low, and whenever we would see he was zoning out, we'd tell our office manager who would gently tell him he needed some sugar. Or call the paramedics. He's doing much better now, though he's a scary image of what can happen even if you are obsessive about following the rules. If you can get that machine, I think you'll find it can change your life. At least it changed his.

My mother's been on insulin for years. She doesn't watch her diet at all, and she's not overly responsible about taking it either. She showed up for Christmas dinner in the late afternoon/early evening without having taken any insulin all day and had to leave after dinner to go home and take it. Of course, she's also always having problems with retinopathy and part of both feet are missing.

Hmmm... No wonder I'm depressed.

I know that insulin can actually be a better choice than pills. My boss has been trying to convince me of that for years. I just don't trust myself. I'm not trustworthy.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Solstice

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 9:19:06

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by Solstice on January 22, 2011, at 8:56:28

I suppose I should call him again.

It's partly that I'm just not very good remembering to do something, or remembering that I've already done it. My OCD makes that even worse. My dog with kidney problems would likely not still be here if my husband and son weren't so much better than I am about remembering.

It's also partly because I'm afraid that when I'm not thinking clearly I might do something stupid.

But it's also because when I'm feeling depressed I tend to get obsessions and compulsions. Even if I never do anything, having it available would be a nightmare in terms of obsessions and compulsions.

I suppose I should talk to my therapist.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by sigismund on January 22, 2011, at 12:07:36

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious sigismund, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:27:50

I don't know if he was talking about the same kind of bread, but my son told me the bread in the US was really sweet and he wondered if it had corn syrup in it.

Fructose is something to watch, though I have forgotten anything I knew about it.

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by annierose on January 22, 2011, at 16:36:49

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

I hope you did call him again. Sorry that you are feeling so anxious. I hate hate hate that feeling. You know yourself better than anyone I know - so trust yourself to take care of you.

Did you call him again? Remember he is bad at calling back and often needs reminders. Let him know you need him.

I'm sorry your mom's issues are rearing their ugly head once again. I'm thinking of you.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by floatingbridge on January 22, 2011, at 17:33:28

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Solstice, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 9:12:34

Sending good thoughts to you, Dinah.

fb

Btw, you seem trustworthy to me. Sorry you're having an intensely hard time. It will pass soon. (I'm not being trite.)

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by floatingbridge on January 22, 2011, at 17:36:52

In reply to Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

Between you and Solstice, I'm sure you have this covered, but I thought of the influence of age related hormone changes....

(I have no idea what age you are, and I'm not asking. Just a thought....)

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2011, at 19:32:26

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:34:44

Dinah sorry to get here late but I feel that two heads are better than one. So I feel both docs should know. Insulin is a very powerful hormone and must be strictly adhered to . I'd inquire about getting an insulin pump inserted as will release insulin when needed. I'm not sure who or how the pump is filled will have to google as new when I was nursing. And Floating Bridge has a point as as menopause nears and for some the transition can take up to 15 years or more diabetes is an autoimmune disorder and seems to tie in a lot with thyroid issues which could also help explain weight gain. Some some things to think about and maybe also search for you. Phillipa

 

Re: Feeling anxious sigismund

Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:23:22

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by sigismund on January 22, 2011, at 12:07:36

It would depend on the bread, I suppose.

I actually find the healthier the bread is the more unpleasantly sweet it is. I can never figure out how to butter really healthy bread, and peanut butter clashes. (Maybe that's the point.)

I doubt the crunchy french bread we in New Orleans love so much has much sugar in it. Or my homemade bread. :) Machine made, I should say. I never got the hang of having bread rise, unfortunately. I've got grandma's bread recipe and can't use it.

 

Re: Feeling anxious annierose

Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:27:27

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious, posted by annierose on January 22, 2011, at 16:36:49

I think I maybe overreacted with my mother. Trouble is probably brewing, but I should probably check to make sure before I get too upset.

At this point, should he ever bother to call, I'm thinking of thanking him for giving me time to think over whether I really need to see him, and that on second thought I probably don't.

Which is likely true. What can he do? He'll probably just annoy me with foolish statements. He's good at that.

 

Re: Feeling anxious floatingbridge

Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:42:47

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by floatingbridge on January 22, 2011, at 17:36:52

Hmmm... It does look like age related hormones may play a role.

I appreciate your confidence, but I'm really not very reliable or trustworthy - at least in some ways. If my husband doesn't wake me up in the morning with my pills, and put me to bed every night with them, I forget them until I feel so awful that I'm forced to remember. If it weren't for pill boxes with days of the week on them, I'd probably take meds more than once when I did remember to take them.

I'm positive that a few dogs have been sent to the grave earlier than they ought to be because as much as I want to do so, I simply can't remember to give medications every single day. I console myself with the knowledge that my dogs generally outlive their diagnosis, so I must be doing something right. My husband and son have both appointed themselves to make sure my current dog gets her fluids every night, or I would forget on a regular basis.

My father used to call me the absent minded professor. My husband is less polite. I walk around being only partly present at best. And somewhere else entirely far too often. I live in my head, where there are no dates or times. I can have entire conversations with no recollection of them as soon as I quit talking (probably *while* I am still talking). If there's something important, my husband will sometimes have me repeat it back to him to make sure I was actually listening.

I'll admit that the obsessions and compulsions probably greatly outweigh my impulsiveness. I probably think I'll behave stupidly more often than I do so. But even not counting the horrible feeling of being caught in an obsessive desire to kill myself with a really available means, I just am not trustworthy to do something so important.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:53:31

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Dinah, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2011, at 19:32:26

Thank you, Phillipa. I got a couple of books and have been reading them with my husband. The poor dear tries to help, but his idea of what's healthy and what's healthy for a diabetic aren't really the same. It really is not intuitive in many cases. As it turns out, potatoes are the worst of the carbs. I can live without potatoes. And pasta is better than rice!

The really sad thing to me is that I was pretty proud of myself. I had gotten much better with portion control, and had largely avoided those foods that I have trouble controlling. I hardly ever eat sugar, aside from the sugar in fruits I suppose. I'd even lost a couple of pounds, though my weight redistributed itself to my belly so that my pants keep falling off. I think I need to get maternity clothes.

It's really depressing that when I thought I was being healthier, I get an unprecedented jump in glucose readings.

Of course Christmas was in that time period. But that's only a couple of days of Yorkshire pudding and Mrs. Smith's deep dish apple pie.

mmmmm..... Mrs. Smith's deep dish apple pie....

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by floatingbridge on January 23, 2011, at 14:28:42

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:53:31

Dinah,

You sound a bit better today. Try not to blame yourself, if you are tempted, for the spike in the diabetes. Some people get too much on their plate, (so to speak), and we are only just humans.

Illness really can s*ck. And so much in our environment (culture, media, popular thought), put so much stock on self-control and 'self-determination'.

fb

 

Re: Feeling anxious

Posted by emmanuel98 on January 23, 2011, at 18:32:07

In reply to Re: Feeling anxious Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2011, at 9:53:31

You don't have to eat sugar to get glucose spikes. All carbohydrates turn to glucose in the body. Refined carbs turn to glucose faster, because they are easier for the stomach to digest.

 

Re: Feeling anxious Dinah

Posted by obsidian on January 23, 2011, at 19:44:44

In reply to Feeling anxious, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2011, at 20:47:35

I hope your anxiety is less today.
Sending you good vibes~~~~
-sid


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