Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 957108

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Thinking of my therapist differently

Posted by widget on August 3, 2010, at 18:45:45

My therapist is on a 2 week vacation. Just before he left, I had a very scary post traumatic stress incident. It was the worst I have ever had. (I have not had many; just recently). I was more scared than I can express. I was desperate to see him. The office manager found me a cancellation. However, he seemed less kind than usual. I got the feeling he wanted to go on vacation and didn't want any of his patients to be in a "bad" place. I continued to be in the bad place for a number of days after seeing him. He just kept telling me "you are safe." HIs voice was kind of stern. In other words, shape up because I'm leaving. He says there is no such thing as an over reaction. Any thoughts? I feel like I don't like him anymore. Widget

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently

Posted by widget on August 3, 2010, at 18:51:19

In reply to Thinking of my therapist differently, posted by widget on August 3, 2010, at 18:45:45

Oh, I forgot to say I shared this with my husband who told me I was "high matainance." Yes, this did make me angry. I feel quite alone. Sadly, Widget

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently

Posted by emmanuel98 on August 3, 2010, at 19:44:05

In reply to Thinking of my therapist differently, posted by widget on August 3, 2010, at 18:45:45

My therapist often seems brusque on the phone, like he doesn't want me calling him. I call him rarely, but when I do, he'll just say, Hi, it's Dr. A, then silence until I tell him why I called. But in session, he is usually kind, so I've gotten used to it and just try to avoid calling him. Sometimes when I ask for extra sessions he is brusque also, so maybe that's all it is. He wants to go on vacation. He is a little pissed. You can ask, are you angry or annoyed with me? It is often very helpful to talk about it, rather than just assume and get upset.

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently widget

Posted by violette on August 3, 2010, at 20:23:09

In reply to Thinking of my therapist differently, posted by widget on August 3, 2010, at 18:45:45

Hi Widget,

My T told me that when I idealized him, then realized he wasn't so 'perfect', it's normal to feel disappointed. Since then, I have come to terms with the fact he's not always going to respond to me 'just right'; however, no matter what-he is always at the very least 'good enough'.

He's going to have good and bad days-he might not be feeling well, or might be quietly handling a crisis of his own. It's all part of his humaness. Either way, I know he does care about me and believes in me...regardless of how different he may come across from time to time (i.e.-dismissive).

> However, he seemed less kind than usual. I got the feeling he wanted to go on vacation and didn't want any of his patients to be in a "bad" place.

Could that be transference feelings related to when your parents left you alone or unattended? Projection (maybe you were feeling how you didn't want to be in a 'bad place')?

> He just kept telling me "you are safe." HIs voice was kind of stern. In other words, shape up because I'm leaving. He says there is no such thing as an over reaction. Any thoughts? Widget

Could he have been using 'suggestion' to help you through?

I'm sorry you are going through the PTSD reactions. I've expereinced that recently too, and it is very scary. Your T will be there for you when he gets back, hopefully refreshed and well rested. What do you think might have triggered a PTSD reaction?

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently violette

Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 5, 2010, at 12:32:39

In reply to Re: Thinking of my therapist differently widget, posted by violette on August 3, 2010, at 20:23:09

I think that is sad. Our feelings are all we have to tell us what is going on with ourselves.....feelings are not right or wrong, they just ARE...Sounds like the 2 importnt people in your life let you down.

"high maintenance" what a silly term.

Hugs, Sassy

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently

Posted by widget on August 5, 2010, at 14:43:30

In reply to Re: Thinking of my therapist differently violette, posted by sassyfrancesca on August 5, 2010, at 12:32:39

Thank you, sassy! Just what I needed to hear. I realize I am not totally "rational" about this but therapy is not always so rational. Thanks for the support. Sincerely, Widget

 

Re: Thinking of my therapist differently

Posted by widget on August 6, 2010, at 13:37:35

In reply to Re: Thinking of my therapist differently, posted by emmanuel98 on August 3, 2010, at 19:44:05

Oh, I did ask him if he was getting angry with me and he said "oh, no." So, I did try to check it out. Maybe he didn't want to admit he was annoyed. He has this belief that his patients always do ok when he is gone. However, when he takes "call" for other psychiatrists, their patients need him constantly. Perhaps I wasn't fitting into this schema of his? That's one theory I kind of buy into. Widget


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