Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 954183

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I had one of the worst days I've had in a while...

Posted by obsidian on July 12, 2010, at 0:16:17

seriously, my mother did a Joan Crawford today...
holy sh*t
she really did
and I remember why it is that I am not close to her
my ever calm and steady boyfriend said to her "there is no reason to be nasty, and you are really pissing me off."
I'm still reeling, and feeling like someone ripped out my heart and said "you didn't need this did you??"...but no, that would be a sign of consideration for another's feelings, and there was simply none of that.
I did my best to not respond. I did not get flustered (in appearance) despite the bile thrown at me. I waited until I got into the car to break down.

and yesterday I saw relatives I did not recognize at a burial service because I have been estranged from that side of the family for forever...I went for the sake of memories from very long ago, and to see my siblings and mother.
I ended up feeling like I just didn't belong.

I practically obliterated myself (in mind only) yesterday.
I'm swimming in waters that are just too deep, and the sharks are circling.

I think I need some therapy, but T is out this week. Maybe pdoc will help.


 

Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a while...

Posted by mystickangaroo on July 12, 2010, at 3:01:08

In reply to I had one of the worst days I've had in a while..., posted by obsidian on July 12, 2010, at 0:16:17

oooooowwwwwww sid

wish there was something I could say. Your mother's sh*t is just that sh*t. And hers. Easy for me to say but keep sending it back to where it belongs.

Take care

 

Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a while... mystickangaroo

Posted by sassyfrancesca on July 12, 2010, at 8:55:25

In reply to Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a while..., posted by mystickangaroo on July 12, 2010, at 3:01:08

I lived with a verbally abusive mother (also physical); joined the army right out of high school, and then "married" her (the original abuser, mother) and tried to fix the past (all unconsciously of course......31 years of abusive "marriage" then divorce.

The book that saved my sanity and life: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans...abusers are excruciatingly INsecure and will do and say anything to make YOU as miserable as they are. They are like vampires who need a fix; they need their supply; when they don't get it (you reacting) they go at it with a vengeance.

They are miserable and want you to be as miserable as they are.

Hugs, Sassy

 

Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a whil

Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2010, at 20:14:29

In reply to I had one of the worst days I've had in a while..., posted by obsidian on July 12, 2010, at 0:16:17

((( Sid )))

Well, at least the contrast was stark. The family you were born into was not what you should have gotten. The family you are choosing yourself, your boyfriend, is a totally different matter.

Can you avoid seeing her? Some parents tear up their parent card (in the words of Dr. Laura) and don't deserve the filial duty and respect that otherwise migt be due.

 

Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a whil Dinah

Posted by obsidian on July 16, 2010, at 23:03:42

In reply to Re: I had one of the worst days I've had in a whil, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2010, at 20:14:29

cards we are dealt right?

I already ripped up the father card.

My mother card....well I don't know, she's like someone who is ok to be around as long as you don't get too close.
you must tip toe gently around the landmines
seems more lately


I just can't try talking to her for a little while. I don't feel up so it. I don't know if it's because I am hurt or angry or both. I think it's both. I managed both of those feelings in the moment....this has been an acquired skill, and I was like a wall that she was just hurling things at, waiting to get a retaliation, and I kept saying "it's ok", without a hint of an argument in me. After the fact I am incredibly hurt and angry, and I don't know what the hell to do with myself.


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