Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 951259

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how to prepare for t vacation

Posted by mmealltalk on June 16, 2010, at 16:13:59

Before my therapist goes away we agree on ideas of things we can arrange, short of speaking, that will help make the time apart easier. Some ideas have been giving me a note to read on a certain day of the break, letting me hold onto a small heart she owns, exchanging ideas about books she and I could both read. Anyway, I am very curious to know if anyone had any suggestions for this summer. I am having a particularly hard time right now, which is making her break even more difficult this summer. Any ideas are welcome.


Re: how to prepare for t vacation mmealltalk

Posted by workinprogress on June 17, 2010, at 2:44:16

In reply to how to prepare for t vacation, posted by mmealltalk on June 16, 2010, at 16:13:59

Hey there. I don't know how long your vacation is... so this may or may not work. But, I was just away with family for a week. It was an experience of being invisible... just as invisible as I was as a kid. For me, during that time, besides a little bear my T gave me and a blanket that I sometimes take back and forth to the office (like the one my t used to have in her office that she'd let me take when I needed... I finally bought my own similar one)... I wrote her emails. She responded to one of them... but mostly they were just for me. To tell her what was going on and know that somewhere out there, someone was "seeing" me. It helped a lot. Your T would have to agree of course, but it was sort of like letters to her and talking to her. Of course I would have loved responses to all, but she didn't have that ability (she has others in her life- much to my chagrin sometimes).

A warning... if you're not ok with not getting a response, it would make things worse probably. But for me it was helpful.

Sounds like you have some good ideas and a willing T though... that's great!



Re: how to prepare for t vacation mmealltalk

Posted by Dinah on June 17, 2010, at 9:20:34

In reply to how to prepare for t vacation, posted by mmealltalk on June 16, 2010, at 16:13:59

Three weeks is a heck of a long time. She won't be returning calls in that time? Although I must say that the time my therapist was gone for a long period of time, it was actually better for me *not* to hear from him.

I like the ideas you have had, and it sounds as if she's being very sensitive to the effect this is having on you.

Given that the time period is so long, could she make arrangements for a foster therapist to take you in for that time? I know the terminology may sound odd, but my therapist and I have discussed it in those terms. I've told him, in the past, that I understand that he doesn't want me to see more than one therapist at a time, but that that gives him an added responsibility to see that I have support when he can't give it. Now might be a good time to give whatever adjunct therapy you've ever considered a try. Hypnotherapy, EMDR, for me it was sex therapy.

I know it's not your therapist. But, again using terminology I use with my therapist, with one leg on your support stool out of service, and other legs awfully wobbly, it's important to expand your sources of support. Babble isn't what it used to be, but I think what people are here will rally around if someone needs support. An adjunct therapist can be support. What other legs, temporary or not, do you think you can add to your support stool?

Aside from missing her support, you'll also miss her. I've found that for me photos help some, and his voice helps even more. For years I saved his voicemails. But I eventually asked him for a guided relaxation tape, so that I would have his voice helping me to self soothe. I don't listen to it all that often, but it helps to know it's there.

How often a week do you see her?

I hope these three weeks are restorative to her, and you get back the therapist you had before. That might almost be worth it.

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