Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 944278

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!

Posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

I have a binge eating disorder and for the first time was discussing this with the new T. I mentioned something I had eaten and was about to say what I had eaten before that and she blurts out, hand up, "Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food". I find that terribly unprofessional and intend on discussing it with her next week. My response to her was "Oh, are you a binge eater yourself?" because some binge eaters don't want to hear about food by name because it makes them want to binge. She said she wasn't but I find that reaction unacceptable and as usual I don't discover these things until after the fact. I mean during it I found it very unacceptable but I was more in the groove, the "we're in therapy right now" mentality. Well, I am the person behind the mask that was grooving and she is going to be getting to know the real me. I have hired her as a consultant to help me with my mental, emotional and psychological issues and that includes topics she may find distasteful. (No pun intended), haha. I also indicated the romantic habits of someone I had dated and then apologized for perhaps giving too much detail and she said, "Well that's OK if you tell me here in therapy but say I was over at your house and we were having tea, that is not something you would want to share" and I was thinking, "What the heck"? It was just a reference to a romantic gesture!. I mean she's a woman, I am a woman. . I know she said that right after I said, "Oops, sorry about that" when I blurted out myself something about Dan's romantic side. I understand fully I am not there to discuss men per se with her but as a T I did not think twice about saying something about a man I had dated. And if I was having tea with another woman I would most definitely discuss a man's romantic side if his name came up whether I knew her well or not. I mean what else is there to talk about? The tea?

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny

Posted by Deneb on April 21, 2010, at 0:09:13

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

Wow, that really is unprofessional. I think it's a therapist's job to listen to anything a client says. Nothing should be held back and nothing should be taboo.

I tell my pdoc, who is also my therapist, everything. I tell her everything from my first sexual experiences to constipation to suicidal thoughts.

She never judges me or tells me something is inappropriate. She wants me to tell her everything.

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny

Posted by pegasus on April 21, 2010, at 8:34:54

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

I agree with Deneb. I would think that if there were subjects she didn't want to hear about, she should at least explain those rules to you. Preferably before you stumble on them. It would totally freak me out to be talking along about something and suddenly have my T say, "Ahh, I don't want to hear about XXX." I would have shut right down and stopped talking about anything at that point. It's hard enough, without having to worry about hitting hidden landmines.

Peg

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!

Posted by deerock on April 21, 2010, at 8:38:36

In reply to Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny, posted by pegasus on April 21, 2010, at 8:34:54

id be pissed too rnny. she sounds like she is correcting a child. i say you tune her up a bit at the next visit and let her know how it made you feel.

rock

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny

Posted by Verloren on April 21, 2010, at 14:06:14

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

I agree with everyone else.

I think you are right to tell her that was unacceptable.

I'm trying to think in what possible capacity would she think talking about the food would be harmful to you. As THAT would be the only way I could see her justifying telling you not to talk about it.

Also, I think the discussion about the romantic gesture should be okay if you want to talk about it. You should not feel limited, especially in therapy. And moving forward, I would urge you not to apologize for the subjects you bring up. Therapy is about your comfort, not hers.

I often have social teas, and of course we talk about guys, gestures, kids, previous stomach flus, weight, etc etc etc. Whatever you want to talk about is open discussion. And worst case scenario, that's what asking "TMI?" is for.

:-) good luck rnny!

-v

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny

Posted by obsidian on April 21, 2010, at 23:08:16

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

hmmm...sounds a little stiff?
is she comfortable with strong emotions?

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!

Posted by sweety on April 22, 2010, at 13:43:35

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

I agree with everyone else...geez, I'm female and have a male therapist and he encourages me to please talk about whatever I need to talk about.
I hope you will have the courage to speak up and truly tell her how that made you feel - go from there, but if you haven't been with her long, she may not be the right one for you, don't waste your time.

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'! rnny

Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 22, 2010, at 15:04:58

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

In therapy, you are supposed to be able to talk about ANYthing; sounds like she hasn't dealt with HER issues. I have a male t, and there isn't anything we cannot discuss.

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 22, 2010, at 21:06:14

In reply to 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by rnny on April 20, 2010, at 23:01:08

> I have a binge eating disorder and for the first time was discussing this with the new T. I mentioned something I had eaten and was about to say what I had eaten before that and she blurts out, hand up, "Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food".

Is it possible that you misinterpreted her intention? Perhaps she was trying to get you to focus on emotions etc. rather than focusing on the specifics of what foods you ate.

I find that terribly unprofessional and intend on discussing it with her next week. My response to her was "Oh, are you a binge eater yourself?" because some binge eaters don't want to hear about food by name because it makes them want to binge. She said she wasn't but I find that reaction unacceptable and as usual I don't discover these things until after the fact.

Regardless of whether she had a different intention or not, I do think you should share your reaction with her.

I mean during it I found it very unacceptable but I was more in the groove, the "we're in therapy right now" mentality. Well, I am the person behind the mask that was grooving and she is going to be getting to know the real me. I have hired her as a consultant to help me with my mental, emotional and psychological issues and that includes topics she may find distasteful. (No pun intended), haha. I also indicated the romantic habits of someone I had dated and then apologized for perhaps giving too much detail and she said, "Well that's OK if you tell me here in therapy but say I was over at your house and we were having tea, that is not something you would want to share"

Two different things come to mind: Maybe she was joking. The other option is that she thinks you might be prone to inappropriate discolsures in social settings and was trying to give you feedback.


and I was thinking, "What the heck"? It was just a reference to a romantic gesture!. I mean she's a woman, I am a woman. . I know she said that right after I said, "Oops, sorry about that" when I blurted out myself something about Dan's romantic side. I understand fully I am not there to discuss men per se with her but as a T I did not think twice about saying something about a man I had dated. And if I was having tea with another woman I would most definitely discuss a man's romantic side if his name came up whether I knew her well or not. I mean what else is there to talk about? The tea?

It sounds like you are not very fond of this T. How long have you seen her? Is she worth giving a chance or not? I have a good relationship with my T and she said something that bothered me a little last week. But since I like her, it was easy for me to say to myself, "well, that probably came out wrong." When you don't have a good relationship w/ T, those little things are harder to move past.

So, I guess my major advice to you is to think about whether this T is someone you want to work with or not. There are other T's out there--perhaps there is someone you'll "click with" more.

Best,
EE

 

Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!

Posted by rnny on April 23, 2010, at 17:25:38

In reply to Re: 'Aaah, I don't want to hear about the food'!, posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 22, 2010, at 21:06:14

Right this second I am not very fond of her, but that could all change. I am going to have my say, that is for sure. And I plan on asking her alot of questions. I think it is outrageous to wave your hand in someone's face who has an eating disorder and say, "Argh, I don't want to hear about the food". But maybe she meant talking about emotions would be better. And the etiquette lesson too. We'll see.....One thing I do know for sure is I will not be held back or confined in therapy. She has been "acceptable" up until this point. I will not tolerate having someone pulling in the reins however in a therapy session. If I want to sit there and recite the alphabet, it is her job to work that into what is going on with me. Not try to silence me! Absolutely no freaking way! Trust me, this will not be passed over. I am glad I could bring it out here though.


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