Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 915791

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How much pain...

Posted by peddidle on September 5, 2009, at 2:47:14

...am I [are you, are we, or any human-being] expected to endure before I'm [we're, you're] allowed say "f*ck it, I can't do this anymore"?

 

One step more peddidle

Posted by Dinah on September 5, 2009, at 10:30:22

In reply to How much pain..., posted by peddidle on September 5, 2009, at 2:47:14

Then one after that.

The problem is that you are experiencing pain now, and remembering all the pain you've ever experienced before, and projecting it forward to a lifetime of pain.

But that's not the way it is. Pain waxes and wanes. You've experienced good times before. And you will experience them again.

So when you're feeling this much pain, don't look far into the future. Your view isn't clear from where you are. Just grit your teeth and make it through today. Do what you can to make your pain better today, without creating problems that will cause you pain tomorrow. If you are able, maybe think of things that can improve your life tomorrow.

Loss sucks. It just does. Grief hurts. There's all too much loss in life. But that's only because there is a lot of bonds that we make during life, bonds that bring us joy and comfort.

But grief also subsides over time, and loss becomes a dull ache that sometimes flares to a pain.

 

Re: One step more

Posted by Garnet71 on September 5, 2009, at 12:00:29

In reply to One step more peddidle, posted by Dinah on September 5, 2009, at 10:30:22

"The problem is that you are experiencing pain now, and remembering all the pain you've ever experienced before, and projecting it forward to a lifetime of pain." - Dinah

I think I rank this up there as one of the most useful pieces of advice I've heard on this forum.

Yes, when you look ahead in the future (or live in the future) in context of the pain, it can seem hopeless. I once read that people who have had childhood trauma often live in the past or the future, rather than the present. In fact, many of us have warped concepts of time. Some due to growing up repressing and dissassociating... amnesia can contribute to this 'habit'.

Medication techniques may be useful in learning to live more in the present. If you google 'meditation living in the present', or something similar, you will find them. Easier said than done, I know. While I once was able to indulge in meditation regularly, now anxiety prevents me from doing so. But it's always worth a try.

Hope you feel better soon, Peddidle.

------------------------------------------
But that's not the way it is. Pain waxes and wanes. You've experienced good times before. And you will experience them again.

So when you're feeling this much pain, don't look far into the future. Your view isn't clear from where you are. Just grit your teeth and make it through today. Do what you can to make your pain better today, without creating problems that will cause you pain tomorrow. If you are able, maybe think of things that can improve your life tomorrow.

Loss sucks. It just does. Grief hurts. There's all too much loss in life. But that's only because there is a lot of bonds that we make during life, bonds that bring us joy and comfort.

But grief also subsides over time, and loss becomes a dull ache that sometimes flares to a pain.

 

Re: How much pain... peddidle

Posted by floatingbridge on September 5, 2009, at 14:09:56

In reply to How much pain..., posted by peddidle on September 5, 2009, at 2:47:14

Hi,

....and by golly, you have asked just about the same question I have today. I find Dinah's post helpful, and Garnet's, too. Difficult not to project into the future, not live in the past. But, then there is the 'sometimes' painful present. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this much pain and distress. We don't deserve it. You're not alone.

fb

 

Re: How much pain...

Posted by Daisym on September 6, 2009, at 0:19:22

In reply to Re: How much pain... peddidle, posted by floatingbridge on September 5, 2009, at 14:09:56

Sometimes it is about asking a different question. Perhaps it isn't helpful to wonder how much pain one can endure, but instead wonder how many things need your attention or bring you comfort. If you get comfort as you give it, the mores the better.

And if you find yourself projecting into the future, perhaps you can offer yourself a deal. If, in one month (or 2 or a week, or whatever you can tolerate thinking about) you haven't found some respite from these feelings, and you don't feel comforted, at least a little, then you can begin to think about what it would mean to not be here. But if you have found a few moments of peace here and there - then give yourself another month (or week or whatever) and concentrate on expanding those moments into hours and then the hours into days. This works for me sometimes - like taking away the pressure of the decision. And who needs more pressure when you are in pain?

I hope you feel better soon.


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