Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 913505

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What good does calling a T do? (si trigger)

Posted by moonshadow on August 22, 2009, at 15:01:55

I was in a bad place today - wanting to s/i so badly. I thought about calling my new T, but talked myself out of it because I didn't know what she could say that would help, and I was worried about her reaction. I also didn't want to bother her. I've seen her for only a couple of months, and am still not secure with her.

She couldn't tell me anything I don't know already, right? At the moment, I didn't want to be told what to do anyway. I just wanted to 'wake up' out of the dissociation.

What happens when you call a T? I wasn't suicidal. It wasn't "that" bad. I just had a hard time not hurting myself, and once I started I had a very hard time stopping. Should I have called her? What would she say?

(She gave me her home # when I started with her, and told me to call if I was suicidal or wanted to hurt myself, but s/i seems like a stupid reason to call).

 

Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger) moonshadow

Posted by Dinah on August 23, 2009, at 8:56:15

In reply to What good does calling a T do? (si trigger), posted by moonshadow on August 22, 2009, at 15:01:55

I don't know that it will always be of immediate help. I think my therapist used to get frustrated and angry that I would call him and self injure anyway. He never pulled my calling privileges, but I know he didn't like it.

However, as my relationship with my therapist grew, I did find it more helpful. His voice would ground me, and my desire not to upset him would encourage me to find other alternatives. And eventually therapy did help, by opening the door so that I could use words instead of actions. I don't think I can explain it better than that. But it gave a voice to all of me, so that I didn't have to use other methods to "speak".

How long have you been seeing this therapist? If she asked you to call before injuring yourself, I think you should. Whether it will do any good or not, I don't know. But therapy is about working through these things in the ways therapist and client agree on, right?

At this point, I haven't self injured in a while. Sometimes calling my therapist is very very useful. Sometimes I'd be better off doing other things to calm me. I don't always guess the best solution for me. But I'm getting better at it.

 

Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger) moonshadow

Posted by antigua3 on August 23, 2009, at 11:41:51

In reply to What good does calling a T do? (si trigger), posted by moonshadow on August 22, 2009, at 15:01:55

Sometimes, for me, just hearing their voice is enough and for them to know that I'm feeling so badly. Often, I'm pretty sure about what they will say, and I have had disappointing phone calls in which I've said, "But you're not helping me. I knew that's what you would say," but sometimes they just offer support in a way that is really what I need. Sometimes I hear something (good) that I would never have expected. I think it's making the connection that is important, knowing that there's someone else out there who knows how badly I feel.

My rule is that if I find I'm obsessing over something, it's best to call because then I can work on letting go.

good luck,
antigua

 

Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger) Dinah

Posted by Moonshadow on August 23, 2009, at 13:53:09

In reply to Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger) moonshadow, posted by Dinah on August 23, 2009, at 8:56:15

I've been seeing her for about 1 month. Not long enough to get comfort from her voice. Not long enough to be assured she won't get mad. Before a couple of days ago, I had not si in over 6 years. So this was a pretty big breakdown for me.

 

Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger)

Posted by blahblahblah on September 10, 2009, at 19:38:35

In reply to Re: What good does calling a T do? (si trigger) Dinah, posted by Moonshadow on August 23, 2009, at 13:53:09

I've been seeing my T for nearly a year and a half. First year the transference was sooo strong she was all i could think about. So I used to feel bad calling her, yet always feel like i needed to. then when i did i would usually get disappointed. i had prior expectations to what i wanted from the call. Now that my transference has gotten better and i have built a better attachment to my t i call her and find it helps. just to tell her and know she cares is enough. it makes me feel like i'm not alone and that there is some support out there for me.


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