Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 911197

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toxic parents

Posted by deerock on August 9, 2009, at 19:14:33

hi there,

ive been working on anger issues with my T and I have been discovering that most of my anger has to do with being treated poorly by my parents. my mother, in particular, is manipulative, moody and vindictive. i live near them and we talk about twice per week.

most of the conversations involve my mom pressuring me to make her happy by getting married and having children. both of these things are things i want for myself too but she seems to want me to have these things in part because it will make her happy.

it seems like cutting contact with my parents is not an option. they do love me and they mean well but they accept no responsibility for their wrongs and blame me for everything.

i want to move forward and i am trying but it seems that when i talk to them, i always have a setback.

im wondering how others have dealt with this scenario. i plan to talk with my T about this on tuesday. thanks for reading and your input.


Re: toxic parents deerock

Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 21:48:02

In reply to toxic parents, posted by deerock on August 9, 2009, at 19:14:33

I have emotionally divorced my mother.

I haven't completely, I suppose. But I try to keep her at arms length emotionally while still being relatively dutiful and kind to her. It's not really her fault that she is who she is.

I'll never let her live with me, and I have let her know that if she says or does certain things, I'll walk away or hang up. Then I do.


Re: toxic parents » Dinah

Posted by deerock on August 10, 2009, at 7:25:18

In reply to Re: toxic parents deerock, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 21:48:02

I like that idea. I will begin to implement similar tactics.
Career and relationship issues are off limits. New rules.

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