Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 899053

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Re: Well.... FindingMyDesire

Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 17:25:49

In reply to Re: Well...., posted by FindingMyDesire on June 2, 2009, at 17:23:56

I was trying to remember if the pants were the same color, and I thought maybe they weren't. But what are the chances? It's so extraordinary that if I hadn't known him for so darn long, I'd think he might have some issues.

 

Re: Well.... SLS

Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 17:29:51

In reply to Re: Well.... Dinah, posted by SLS on June 2, 2009, at 17:19:50

I'm sorry, Scott. This was a followup to a previous post of mine where I writhed in embarrassment after pointing out a wardrobe malfunction. I vowed that if it ever happened again, I'd say nothing.

I never expected it to happen again ever. Certainly not this soon. Fourteen years and it never happened once before. Then twice in a couple of weeks?

We never have silence in our sessions. But eye contact is not a staple. It took me years and years before I made contact at all. And now I usually alternate between eye contact and looking out his window. I don't think he noticed any difference in me.

 

Re: Well.... Dinah

Posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2009, at 17:48:07

In reply to Re: Well.... FindingMyDesire, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 16:52:24

I'm starting to think he needed your check from the fire alarm situation to pay his tailor bill for the month. Clearly, the man is wearing threadbare clothes. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

How awkward!

 

Re: Well.... Dinah

Posted by SLS on June 2, 2009, at 17:50:29

In reply to Re: Well.... SLS, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 17:29:51

> We never have silence in our sessions.

That's good. You had me worried there. I could imagine such a thing happening, but I question how therapeutic it would be if it continued.

> But eye contact is not a staple. It took me years and years before I made contact at all.

Gosh Dinah. I would never have guessed. You must have done an extraordinary amount of work.

My respect for you has grown - and it was pretty great to begin with.

I just looked down. No malfunction here. Phew. I just got done walking to the mailbox.


- Scott

 

I'm liking him more and more!

Posted by jane d on June 2, 2009, at 18:08:37

In reply to Well...., posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 15:33:30

Or at least I'm beginning to identify with him. My clothes always have something wrong with them. I then go home planning to repair whatever but I always forget until the next time.

Binder clips work ok for areas you dont want to staple. Whether you wish to recommend this to him is up to you. :)

Sorry I'm laughing. I'd find it horribly uncomfortable myself. I'd probably opt for saying nothing and then feel terribly guilty about that.

Last thought. This is an excellent additional argument in favor of same sex therapists! Or is the assumption that the situation would then be less uncomfortable also something to be addressed in therapy?

jane, who's remembering again all those shirts with missing buttons in unfortunate places, still unmended

 

Re: I'm liking him more and more! jane d

Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 19:22:45

In reply to I'm liking him more and more!, posted by jane d on June 2, 2009, at 18:08:37

Well, at least he doesn't go commando. :) So I can still believe he's a Ken doll.

It's so unlike him, don't you think? Mr. Stylish?

I can't decide what's more unbelievable. That he didn't take those pants out of circulation or that he had two pairs.

Wait! I think I have it. He thought he fixed it, but he really didn't. It came apart again. Zippers tend to do that don't they?

Whew! Surely he'll give up after this time.

 

Re: Well.... TherapyGirl

Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 19:23:56

In reply to Re: Well.... Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2009, at 17:48:07

lol.

Poor man!

 

Re: Well.... SLS

Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 19:25:24

In reply to Re: Well.... Dinah, posted by SLS on June 2, 2009, at 17:50:29

Ah well, fortunately eye contact isn't an issue with the internet. :) I've always been awful at it.

Thanks, Scott.

 

I almost died laughing

Posted by BirdSong on June 3, 2009, at 1:02:35

In reply to Re: Well.... SLS, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2009, at 19:25:24

I don't post much, but I had read your earlier post about your T's pants....and this cracked me up.

...honestly, what I really want to know is how? His job is sitting all day..we are not talking physical labour here, so..is he gaining weight? or does he pass alot of gas? LOL....

 

Re: I almost died laughing BirdSong

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 9:29:05

In reply to I almost died laughing, posted by BirdSong on June 3, 2009, at 1:02:35

:)

I wonder they haven't included it in a movie or TV yet, that I know of anyway.

I was a bit concerned when I first posted here that there might be something going on with him.

But somewhere in answering posts, I remembered nylon zippers and how you can fix them, but they might break again later. That has to be what happened. The odds are too long for any other explanation. Hopefully he'll decide any fix is temporary and toss them this time.

I have every sympathy for him, since I know it could easily happen to me. But sympathy or no, it's potentially difficult for clients.

Of course, later it *is* funny.

 

Re: I almost died laughing

Posted by Tabitha on June 3, 2009, at 12:33:25

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing BirdSong, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 9:29:05

Does he have any throw pillows in the office? A man so prone to zipper malfunctions definitely needs a few pillows around for emergency coverage.

 

Re: I almost died laughing Tabitha

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 12:39:24

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing, posted by Tabitha on June 3, 2009, at 12:33:25

:)

I'll maybe hand him one, along with the sewing kit.

It's worse of course, because like many big men, he sits with his legs apart. Otherwise I'd probably never notice.

 

Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong Dinah

Posted by rskontos on June 3, 2009, at 16:54:35

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing Tabitha, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 12:39:24

"It's worse of course, because like many big men, he sits with his legs apart. Otherwise I'd probably never notice."

Ok ok ok,

This visual made me laugh so hard I started coughing. (just getting over a bad cough)

and Birdsong and Tabitha both of you cracked me up.

rsk

 

Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong

Posted by blahblahblah on June 3, 2009, at 20:45:15

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong Dinah, posted by rskontos on June 3, 2009, at 16:54:35

omg this is so funny. i actually feel sorry for the guy. I guess being a therapist you'd have your own insecurities, but you would try your best not to let them show in front of your clients. So now you have his insecurity. do you feel it has changed the relationship Dinah?

 

Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger

Posted by BirdSong on June 3, 2009, at 21:21:51

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong, posted by blahblahblah on June 3, 2009, at 20:45:15

Really now?

Do you think Freud ever dealt with this issue? Perhaps that is how he came up with the p*nis-envy thing...


 

:-) (nm) rskontos

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 21:50:56

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong Dinah, posted by rskontos on June 3, 2009, at 16:54:35

 

Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong blahblahblah

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 21:57:28

In reply to Re: I almost died laughing/Tabitha/birdsong, posted by blahblahblah on June 3, 2009, at 20:45:15

I feel sorry for him too.

Even though it's anonymous, I've felt a bit bad about mentioning it. It's nothing to be ashamed about of course, and it happens to everyone. But it's an issue on the client side too! Trying to figure out what to do in such an unusual relationship is hard.

We've been through so much together, I think his vulnerabilities are known to me far more than is usual in therapy. I saw him while we were both evacuated from Katrina, I was with him through the aftermath. It's hard to put that horse back in the barn once it got out.

Still, this is a different sort of intimate, I suppose. I make every effort to avoid having my glance at crotch level, and it's really a distraction I'd rather not have.

 

Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger BirdSong

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 22:00:59

In reply to Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger, posted by BirdSong on June 3, 2009, at 21:21:51

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Or he'd feel the different give of fabric?

I really got a bit nervous when it happened again so soon. I know that after fourteen years I'd know if he was an exhibitionist, and I know he isn't. But it made me feel a bit anxious. Or crazy. I was wondering if I'd imagined it. I was almost relieved when he clearly saw it too, because then at least it wasn't in my mind.

 

Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger Dinah

Posted by Daisym on June 3, 2009, at 23:50:07

In reply to Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger BirdSong, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 22:00:59

OK -now you know. Next anniversary or Christmas - Levi's 501 jeans with a BUTTON fly...

or a Kilt. :)

I love your therapist.

 

Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger Daisym

Posted by Dinah on June 4, 2009, at 0:23:40

In reply to Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger Dinah, posted by Daisym on June 3, 2009, at 23:50:07

I love him too. :)

 

Re: one other thought....

Posted by rskontos on June 4, 2009, at 21:51:06

In reply to Re: Doesn't he feel the breeze? (one word may trigger Daisym, posted by Dinah on June 4, 2009, at 0:23:40

is that he is so comfortable with you it just isn't a big deal.

It does occur to me that there are quite a few people that even if they noticed the tear, rip or broken zipper and were running out the door they would not bother to change because they would hope no one would notice, and again they don't worry about the fashion police. Your t sounds like he could be like this.

again, I think you have handled it gracefully. But pack that sewing kit just in case.

rsk

 

Re: one other thought....

Posted by Phillipa on June 4, 2009, at 23:30:15

In reply to Re: one other thought...., posted by rskontos on June 4, 2009, at 21:51:06

I thought the same thing now you know what he really needs for an anniversary gift a gift card to a tailors shop for repairs. Phillipa

 

Re: one other thought....

Posted by backseatdriver on June 5, 2009, at 8:55:07

In reply to Re: one other thought...., posted by Phillipa on June 4, 2009, at 23:30:15

o, this made me laugh. a t's authority is so tenuous. love that you were silent about it.

thanks, dinah

 

Whew

Posted by Dinah on June 5, 2009, at 17:06:48

In reply to Re: one other thought...., posted by backseatdriver on June 5, 2009, at 8:55:07

Jeans today so no issue.

I'll get that kit before next week.

My therapist is actually a very fastidious and fashionable dresser. He's not quite as fashionable lately since he's gotten married and gotten heavier, but he's still fastidious.

That's about all I remember from my session today. Other than that I did manage to tell him how anxious I've been feeling. I wasn't feeling well because my latest pillow experiment failed miserably. About all I remember was asking him for a hug at the end of the session and being glad his pants weren't torn because I couldn't have asked for a hug if they were.

 

Re: Whew Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on June 5, 2009, at 20:18:31

In reply to Whew, posted by Dinah on June 5, 2009, at 17:06:48

Dinah could add something just imagine??? Love Phillipa


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