Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 848397

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend

Posted by susan47 on August 26, 2008, at 11:58:51

Someone I'm seeing for help with employment, as I am in a very Stuck place right now.
And she said, I had enough to lay a formal complaint against my ex-T.
Which I always knew.
But I would never have done.
Because I didn't know, myself, my Dx.
Could I sue him for not giving me an obvious Dx?
Does it matter?
I don't want money.
I want health.
I want to be well.
I want it to be five years ago, before I ever walked into his office.
I want to know my life can be better than this.
I know it can.
I know it can.
I know my life is good.
My life is now better than before.
My life is good.
Life is good.
Life is good.
Life is good.
I know my Diagnosis now, and I know there's treatment.
All feelings are transitory.
They come and go like waves on the ocean.
They can wash over me
(and they won't scar me forever)
I don't have to hang onto any of them.
They just wash over me.
I can choose to hang onto the good feelings.
(I can choose to let go of the bad ones)
Hang onto the good feelings.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.
I love you
I love you
I love you
YOU.
Oh, dear.
God save me.
I am drowning in a sea of muck.
I want to live
I want to live
i want to live.

 

Re: Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend susan47

Posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2008, at 12:39:28

In reply to Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend, posted by susan47 on August 26, 2008, at 11:58:51

Susan don't know your history sorry about that but I don't think T's give diagnoisis but pdocs do but as usual I could be wrong. I always thought they used your pdocs diagnosis? Not sure. But glad you feel better . Phillipa

 

Re: Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend

Posted by susan47 on August 27, 2008, at 18:26:57

In reply to Re: Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend susan47, posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2008, at 12:39:28

> Susan don't know your history sorry about that but I don't think T's give diagnoisis but pdocs do but as usual I could be wrong. I always thought they used your pdocs diagnosis? Not sure. But glad you feel better . Phillipa

Yes, I don't know if I feel better. Today I swear is one of the worst days I've ever experienced. Each day it seems brings a new crest to how badly one can feel about oneself.

 

Please Know - a Prayer

Posted by susan47 on August 27, 2008, at 18:36:25

In reply to Yesterday, I was Talking to a friend, posted by susan47 on August 26, 2008, at 11:58:51

I don't know if my ex-T reads this or if he has someone else read it or it's never read. I don't know if this matters to anyone except myself. But I want anyone reading this to know that I would never hold anyone else responsible for the mess I have made of my own life, my own self, by my own hand. And for the fact that my ex-T may have erred in his own ways, I want and need to forgive him. But he probably doesn't want to be forgiven. I assume he has taken a back-off stance, has probably been legally advised to do that. Which is so hurtful and harmful to the whole process of a person healing from an emotional wound, it is so alien to the necessary requirements of healing, that I cannot begin to reiterate strongly enough to any therapists out there who would ever read this, "Please do not reject a borderline patient because of your erotic transference which you cannot accept, it is not about you.. it is about Love." The whole therapeutic relationship is about love, and learning the love oneself and the other, knowing the other to be but a part of you. I know that sounds wild and crazy (that's what I am inside, I think, wild and crazy, and hurting, oh God you have no idea how much pain can be inside a person who hasn't herself actually lived through a concentration camp, but you have no idea how pain is write Large, over years and generations, on persons. I quake for my children) .... I want love.
Please, god, annihilate me if I cannot have the one thing you promised. God promises to love. He promises to love all his children. I am a child of God no less than you.
Please, God, Love me.

 

Re: Please Know - a Prayer

Posted by WaterSapphire on August 29, 2008, at 3:36:35

In reply to Please Know - a Prayer, posted by susan47 on August 27, 2008, at 18:36:25

I am not God Susan, but is it ok to say I love you and everyone on here?
I believe in God, and believe that God loves you too Susan. Why we must go through these things, I truly never know...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers ok.

Stay strong.


 

Re: Please Know - a Prayer

Posted by susan47 on August 29, 2008, at 10:07:01

In reply to Re: Please Know - a Prayer, posted by WaterSapphire on August 29, 2008, at 3:36:35

> I am not God Susan, but is it ok to say I love you and everyone on here?
> I believe in God, and believe that God loves you too Susan. Why we must go through these things, I truly never know...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers ok.
>
> Stay strong.
>
Thank you for loving me, I am doing my best to love everyone as well. I know if I met you I could truly say I love you, as I love almost everyone I know, and even if I don't on the superficial level, underneath I know there's love, or at least the ability and desire to understand; that, at the very least, is always there, and grows to be more so each day.
I sound like I'm trying to be a fr*gg*ng saint, and that isn't it at all. Just a lot of pain, that's all.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, I'm hanging in there. Another thing that sounds painful. Why do we have to hang in anywhere, like monkeys on a string?

 

Re: Please Know - a Prayer

Posted by WaterSapphire on August 29, 2008, at 16:14:45

In reply to Re: Please Know - a Prayer, posted by susan47 on August 29, 2008, at 10:07:01

Hangin in there...you are right...
No one should have to hang in there. It would be much nicer if we all could be content and live in peace and not have to have to just "hang in there". I think we spend so much of our lives having to do this, and some of us more than others...that this is why we are so tired and weary at times. Hopefully one day we will be content. This I can hope for.


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