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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
I am sorry if I am posting too much, it seems like so much is going on. But now I am more worried about my T than I am about myself. He just had heart surgury 2 weeks ago and they told me he just had a virus. But my T would tell his secretary to down play why he is in the hospital, so I am sure there is more to it than a virus. He will be in all this week. Plus I don't have an appointment next week either.
I called my old T and told him to just remove my request to see him. I told him I didn't want to cause my T any more stress in his condition especially about something that has to do with me and my old T. And my T did say it wouldn't be pleasant for him but he wanted to do it, but now with what has happened to him, it is best to just forget it.
I have crying all morning wanting to post here, but not feeling I should. But I just don't know what to do, I can't go to my T about this, he is in the hospital.I am so worried he is going to die, everyone I know that I care about has died.
I am sure it is just a coincedence that both my T developed heart conditions while seeing me. I just feel like I am not strong enough to get through this. I hope he will be all right, I know he has a stronger fighting spirit than anyone I know. He means so much to me. I just don't know what to do.
Posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:13:02
In reply to My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
Okay my post had a lot of mistakes, I am not thinking straight. He had unplanned heart surgury while on vacation 2 weeks ago, then I saw him last week and now he is in the hospital again and will be out all this week. His secretary said he had a virus and they are just monitoring him carefully because of the recent surgury. I hope that makes more sense.
Posted by myrtledog on June 30, 2008, at 13:26:36
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:13:02
(((((((happyflower))))))) I know this will feel really hard. Remember that your reactions will be coloured by your past experiences and not some kind of terrible foreboding. Maybe try to break the time down into small segments and only think about how you are going to deal with that time. I only say that beocs when i've been in a similar place with similar worries it helped to focus in on minute details - it curtailed my wide global catastrophising. Take care of yourself, too.
Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2008, at 13:36:45
In reply to My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
(((Happyflower)))
I imagine they do take special care with illnesses when someone has just had surgery.
But I sure do understand being scared. It's scary enough when anyone we care about is in the hospital. It is exponentially more scary when the information we have is very limited. These people we care so much about, and who are such an important part of our lives. And yet, we have access to almost no information that would help us put a situation in proper context. It *is* scary.
Posted by raisinb on June 30, 2008, at 13:44:59
In reply to My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
Happyflower, I'm so sorry, I'd be very upset now, too. It's tough not to know so many details, but maybe that's better, too.
(((((Happyflower)))))
Try to take care of yourself.
Posted by Lucie Lu on June 30, 2008, at 13:45:53
In reply to My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
Happyflower, I'm so sorry for the stresses you are under right now. I can see how this would be very distressing for anyone, let alone for someone with your background of losses. I feel for you and hope everything turns out OK.
MD's advice is very good, about trying to minimize catastrophic thinking. You know, you sound calmer in your second post than the first, and as you yourself say, the second post has more accurate details. Our emotions so strongly affect how we experience things around us.
Wishing your T a speedy recovery and yes, please do take good care of yourself in the meantime. If you two were in session now, isn't that what he'd say to you? I'll bet he would.
Hang in there! -Lucie
Posted by rskontos on June 30, 2008, at 15:25:27
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:13:02
Happyflower,
my guess is that they are being extra careful given his recent surgery and age and overall health. We all tend to react like chicken little when things like this happen. In our minds we know that they are being cautious, but our heart tells us the sky is falling. Just try to keep busy and know that he is getting extra special care is all.
Just try and relax. And YOU DID NOT cause this. Don't let your mind go there. A +B does not allows equal C
rsk
Posted by seldomseen on June 30, 2008, at 19:05:55
In reply to My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:07:29
I'm so sorry to hear about your T, HF - both of the actually.
You did nothing to cause either of the problems with their hearts - this is totally out of your control.
I'm sure your T will be back and good as new presently.
Sending good thoughts your way
Seldom
Posted by muffled on June 30, 2008, at 23:30:22
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on June 30, 2008, at 13:13:02
(((((HF)))))))
Sh*t I so sorry :-(
Its good they taking good care of your T, but manoman, I can understand your worry.
Glad you put other T on backburner for now.
Its good its summer and you can be with your kids more.
I dunno what to say, cept this is just lousy bout your T.
I sorry.
Take good care,
M
Posted by Phillipa on July 1, 2008, at 12:31:52
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by muffled on June 30, 2008, at 23:30:22
Happyflower bet they are making sure the virus isn't an infection and you did nothing to cause it. Funny I think like you if something happens to someone I think it my fault. Past history of blaming me by others I guess. Good that they put him in the hospital as all sorts of blood tests will be run and they will pick up anything wrong be be right on top of it. And yes you also have suffered a lot of recent losses I know what that's like. Love and let us know if you hear anything. Love Phillipa
Posted by Happyflower on July 1, 2008, at 15:24:57
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Phillipa on July 1, 2008, at 12:31:52
Thanks everyone for all your support and wise words. I bought a card for him today and dropped it off at the office. His secretary who is super nice and likes me told me he called her today. I guess he has some kind of infection that attacks your nerves. He can't even walk. But I guess the medicine will help and he should be back next week. He will have to have physical therapy for awhile and he can't drive for awhile. But I am glad he seems to be okay.
It was hard to pick out a card that wasn't too corny or too personal. So I found an encouragement card that I think will fit.
He is always telling me that all the adversement I face will make me stronger than most. Well I found a card that said, adversement often builds good character (then I added, you always tell me) and inside it said, I believe you have enough good character now. ( I forget the exact words) I thought it was cute and something he would expect from me. I told him to get well. So that made me feel good to do that. He is so generous with me, I wanted to do something.
I did some restorative yoga today but it was hard, I am so tense and exhausted, but I left feeling better. Thanks again everyone.
Posted by Annierose on July 1, 2008, at 18:50:23
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on July 1, 2008, at 15:24:57
He will love the card. I always think people appreciate when we think of them and wish them well. It was a nice thing for you to do. I'm glad the secretary filled you in on his progress. I would feel so unsettled not knowing what is going on.
I hope he is back on his feet soon ... and back to work asap!
Posted by Lucie Lu on July 1, 2008, at 19:20:41
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried, posted by Happyflower on July 1, 2008, at 15:24:57
HF, really like your card :)
Posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 1:15:07
In reply to Re: My T is in the hospital and I am so worried » Happyflower, posted by Lucie Lu on July 1, 2008, at 19:20:41
But I am afraid of starting a new thread because I don't want to appear to be hogging the boards. as per BOB
Geeze I feel so restricted, can't even offer support and get support at the same time because I write too many threads according to some. Kinda makes me wonder why I am even here anymore. Doesn't feel like home anymore.Are my threads really too much? Tell me the truth, do you all agree with Bob? Am I hogging the boards?
Posted by Dinah on July 2, 2008, at 7:52:32
In reply to Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her T, posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 1:15:07
I certainly don't. I've never liked that rule. I've always found it personally hurtful.
Given how quiet the board's been lately, you'd think Dr. Bob would be glad to see any posts at all to stimulate discussion. A person could easily keep their same posting frequency, but because of low posting volume in general, find themselves in violation of the rule.
However, you're back to one in a row, so I can't see why you can't post at least two more threads before someone else starts one, under the rules.
I can see why you're feeling hurt, and I am sorry. My own opinion is that even if it is possible to post too frequently, you haven't done so.
Posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 10:10:53
In reply to Re: Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2008, at 7:52:32
Thank you Dinah,
I am trying not to take it personal, but it sure feels personal.Telling me to share, that seems kinda toddlerish, now I feel like I am scared to post anything. So many rules. I know we need rules, but it is getting to be too many. I don't know how a new person would even want to join, having to learn all the rules, would take so much time.
I knew about the rule of posting on the same thread more than 3 times in a row, but I didn't even know about starting more than 3 new threads in a row. I have been a member for a long time now, and if I didn't know the rule, I am sure there are more that didn't. Well at least I didn't get blocked for it.
The boards were very quiet, if I didn't post, there would have been no new posts for 3 days it seems. There are theories out there why the boards are so quiet, and some say because it is harder for new people to find the site. Well what about the all the old members who used to post. Why did they all leave? There were plenty of members before. I am too depressed to even fight it, I just feel like leaving again. I feel really hurt.
Posted by antigua3 on July 2, 2008, at 13:41:24
In reply to Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her T, posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 1:15:07
Posted by raisinb on July 2, 2008, at 18:57:16
In reply to Re: Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her, posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 10:10:53
I did not know about either of those rules. So I learned something today.
HF, I am happy you are posting. I agree with the others--try not to take it personally.
Posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 19:49:16
In reply to Re: Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her » Happyflower, posted by raisinb on July 2, 2008, at 18:57:16
Thanks rasin,
I am trying, but I feel like I got caught with peeing my pants in kindergarten. lol I will get over it eventually. ;-)
Posted by Raindancer on July 3, 2008, at 17:38:35
In reply to Re: Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her, posted by Happyflower on July 2, 2008, at 19:49:16
I am always pleased to hear from you Happy. Your posts are always interesting and I look forward to them. Hope your T is better really soon.
Warmest wishes,
Rain(((((HF)))))
Posted by Happyflower on July 4, 2008, at 10:34:00
In reply to Re: Want to ask Ladybug if she has heard from her » Happyflower, posted by Raindancer on July 3, 2008, at 17:38:35
Thanks that makes me feel good to hear that.
This is the end of the thread.
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