Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 805920

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Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by muffled on January 12, 2008, at 13:19:00

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Whoah, thats weird that you posted that. I was just thinking yesterday that you'd posted some really GOOD poats lately. Enuf so that I remarked to myself on it.
I think that was such an amazing post that you wrote WAY cool. I hope you print it out or paste in in your journal or something.
It really is cool.
Reminded me of 10ders amaazing post!
This one is just as great!
Maybe some of us babblers are improving and better understanding ourselves. How GREAT!!! is that!!!!???
So for those who are not as far along on the journey as others. Well its GREAT to see how others further along are doing! And those that are further along can HELP.
We may or may not hear their advice right away. But over time, stuff sinks in.
So THANK YOU ofr that post Dinah.
I am happy that you are doing well.
((( DInah )))
Thanks for all you do here at Babble. INCLUDING your posts!
Lotsa times its just nice that a person has posted to me AT ALL, whether or not their words are what I need, it enuf to know they care enuf to post to me. That is HUGE.
Thanks Dinah.
M

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by Poet on January 12, 2008, at 13:51:17

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Hi Dinah,

You and me both. My thought process is so dull right now that I read posts,start to answer and then delete it.

You've always been helpful to me whether your realize it or not.

Poet

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 15:11:34

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2008, at 12:38:43

Well, I know they need to make a living, and I don't mind that in general.

It's just that he really seems to like money. :)

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here annierose

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 15:13:26

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by annierose on January 12, 2008, at 12:55:02

Thank you, Annierose.

I suppose I worry that I sound unempathetic. I'm really not. I've gone through all the angst over the therapeutic relationship that anyone does. And at times I go through it again. And again.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 15:16:45

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by muffled on January 12, 2008, at 13:19:00

Thanks, Muffled. It is really wonderful to read that. I do try to be helpful.

I think I might print out my post, if only to remind myself next time I get upset that I really do trust my therapist to be who I know he is.

I do think it's great that we're learning to understand ourselves. I absolutely refuse to grow up, but improving I can definitely tolerate. :)

I learn from you all the time. You and my son teach me a lot about the ways I really need to try to be more empathetic to others.

 

yo, Dinah

Posted by raisinb on January 12, 2008, at 15:19:07

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

I wanted to say that your above post to TG's thread about the end of a relationship helped me very much. For me, it's really easy to make the lack of a partner a symbol of how I'm worthless, how I'm not as good or lovable as other people. Your post reminded me that what I need is something I need to work on for myself, not something someone else can give me, and that a relationship can't make me happy or more *me*.

So, that's my .02. Everyone has wisdom to give, especially you, I've noticed.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Poet

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 15:19:28

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by Poet on January 12, 2008, at 13:51:17

Thanks, Poet.

I definitely know the dulled mind feeling. I woke up this morning as if I were waking up the first time in a very long time. My mind felt clear and was able to stray farther than the usual ruts. But now I'm back to "normal" I think. Battling the urge to curl back up in bed with my adorable bedmate, who loves to sleep as much as I do, and who looks at me hopefully to suggest I take a nap after he helpfully licks my face to a nice smelly doggy scent.

 

Re: yo, Dinah raisinb

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 15:22:23

In reply to yo, Dinah, posted by raisinb on January 12, 2008, at 15:19:07

I'm so glad if I could help you. :)

Perhaps especially on that topic. You are definitely as good and loveable as anyone, and having a partner or not having one doesn't affect that one bit.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 15:34:40

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Dear Dinah ((((((((((you)))))))))

If you hadn't posted such a detailed post, (& I usually am only at Social, so don't know your Psychology history) - anyway - I would never have guessed that you even GO to a therapist!

So there.

I've always viewed you as very wise, calm, kind, comforting, to name a few.

Even reading your original post in this thread shows your immense wisdom!!

One little nudge....maybe one time, you might go 1 extra week between visits? If you felt like trying to loosen things between you & your T just a little. You could view it as "just this once & I'll see how it feels". I think often people tend to see things as black/white; all/nothing. I know I do!

Anyway, I feel a sense of 'safety' knowing you're here! A sense of calm, groundedness.

Thanks for being here Dinah.

luv, Kath

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by star008 on January 12, 2008, at 16:02:02

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

dinah,,

you are helpful from what i have seen.. the support itself is often enough for me. I understand taht therea ren't answers alot of the time but to know that someone understands and can connect with what I am saying is all I can expect at times and is often enough to eae the burden a bit

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 12, 2008, at 16:04:03

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Dinah, you've helped me accept my life and my situation and myself more than you will ever realize. your dry wit has made me laugh, even when I am super-down.

you are a very special person, and a very special babbler. I dunno if that comes through in your real life or not, but I consider myself privileged to have your responses to my posts.

-Ll

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by Raindancer on January 12, 2008, at 16:31:09

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Oh Dinah, wow your post is so beautiful and puts into words so much of what I feel - you know so much about the therapeutic relationship and have gained in wisdom and strength over the years. I told my T the other day that I thought I would always want to hold onto his leg (do you remember that?) and said that you had said it first, and it feels so true for me still. I have posted on and off for several years now and when I come back i always look for your posts as having humour, understanding and good sense. I have seen how your relationship with your T has become closer and how you and he have come to understand each other better and this has helped me a lot when the going has been rough. You mean a great deal to me. Thanks for being there. ((((Dinah))) Rain.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Kath

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 18:43:20

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 15:34:40

Thank you, Kath. I really appreciate that.

A sense of calm and groundedness is what I get from my therapist. It scares me senseless even to think of not needing him, if that makes sense. But I am now at least entertaining those thoughts, and I never really thought I would. Maybe some day I'll be able to act on them.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here star008

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 18:43:44

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by star008 on January 12, 2008, at 16:02:02

Thank you, Star.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 18:45:23

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 12, 2008, at 16:04:03

That makes me feel very happy, llurpsie. You're such a special person, and I'm glad in any way I'm able to help you.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Raindancer

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 18:46:47

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by Raindancer on January 12, 2008, at 16:31:09

I'm glad it's helped you as we've gotten closer! I think that's the part that worries me. That we've really settled down so much that I might lose touch with how agonizing a relationship it can be. And I don't want to do that.

 

Thank you everyone

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 18:51:49

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

I really treasure your kind words.

And I hope that you all will be understanding if I ever sound complacent. I really know it's not easy. The agonizing I've done over the years...

And it's ok if you point it out to me if I do sound that way at times.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by TherapyGirl on January 12, 2008, at 19:07:38

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

I love this post, Dinah, as I love so many of your posts. I can't imagine the time would ever come that you would be unhelpful -- here or elsewhere. And that's the depressed me talking. Just imagine how gushy I'd be if I was in my non-depressed state.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here TherapyGirl

Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 20:17:22

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on January 12, 2008, at 19:07:38

Thanks Therapygirl. I especially am glad to hear that from you, since my post to you was one of the ones I was afraid I was being insufferable on.

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by LadyBug on January 12, 2008, at 23:50:29

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

When I see your name I know if I click on it I will learn something. I think some of us that have been with the same T for several years understand a lot of what other's are struggling with. So I think you better not even give it another thought! Keep on posting. Me on the other hand, can't come up with anything too neat these days. Too much is on my plate right now. I can't concentrate.
Thanks for all you do for us and for how much you add even when you are struggling!
LadyBug

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here LadyBug

Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2008, at 15:56:08

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by LadyBug on January 12, 2008, at 23:50:29

It's a different perspective, that's for sure. :)

You've got so much going on right now. I'm glad you have your therapist on your side. I've been wondering how you were doing. It sounds like you're still having a hard time?

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah

Posted by JoniS on January 14, 2008, at 8:43:53

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

Hey Dinah

I see that I'm pretty late in reading and posting but I needed to tell you that your posts mean ALOT to me too. I appreciate you greatly!

Joni

 

Thanks, Joni. :) (nm)

Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2008, at 9:22:06

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here Dinah, posted by JoniS on January 14, 2008, at 8:43:53

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here

Posted by antigua3 on January 14, 2008, at 18:10:19

In reply to I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 12:21:38

I'm sorry you feel unhelpful, but I can say that you are one of the main reasons I ended up becoming involved in this site. From the very beginning (long time ago!), your posts have always drawn me to read what is going on here. Your posts are always thoughtful and insightful, and I can always count on you to be honest and truthful in your replies, even if we may not always agree.

Plus, we are therapy for lifers and when I learned you felt that way about your therapy, somehow it made me feel better about myself, that I would go to therapy until I reached a point where I was comfortable leaving and would leave when I was ready.

I haven't read all the posts here, but I know others must agree with me.
antigua

 

Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here antigua3

Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2008, at 20:07:26

In reply to Re: I sometimes feel so unhelpful here, posted by antigua3 on January 14, 2008, at 18:10:19

:-)

I'm so glad if I could help in any way.

I feel so lucky in so many areas in my life. Maybe it makes me feel a bit guilty.


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