Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 803954

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Re: Never a dumb question muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 17:16:43

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 16:13:47

I read a book once about the Japanese idea, I think. It's likely still around somewhere.

I don't know what I consider myself. I don't lose time or anything. But I know I'd spit fire if I referred to myself that way. Seriously. It would not be pretty.

Maybe I'm looking to unionize or something. Rights for nondominant body sharers? I dunno. I seem to have pretty strong feelings tho.

 

Re: Never a dumb question star008

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 17:28:41

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by star008 on January 4, 2008, at 15:59:12

I guess everyone's experience is different, and I don't want to ask any intrusive questions about your experience. So I suppose all that makes discussion a bit difficult. It sounds as if they don't take over the consciousness?

 

Re: Never a dumb question

Posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:20:57

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question star008, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 17:28:41

Dinah, you ask about peeps, I am the one that started calling them peeps. I hate the word alters and my old therapists called them alters. My inners got hateful at that word so I called them peeps someone else on this site called them peeps first and I adopted the terms because I felt comfortable with it at the time. I don't know if my alters are comfortable with the terms or not because we don't talk yet. When they come out I am gone totally for the most part. They do take over my consciousness. I have lost so much time I have lost days and sometimes weeks. I have awaken in different places wearing different clothes. I have bought stuff I don't remember. I have driven places and dont know it. It is scarey but it is. I have met people I swear I don't know but know stuff about me that it is apparent I have meet them but I DONT remember them. So I would fake it sometimes and sometimes I would leave and never call them back. Sometimes I just wouldnt answer the phone. Now if my others have different names i don't know yet. My new doc and I aren't that far. I am scared to find out in some ways. So the question about the term peeps if my doing but I can 't answer it for mine because I don't know what they like. I know they don't like or trust my new p-doc because they try to prevent me from getting there. It takes me 45 mins to 1 hour to drive the 15 mins. it should take. they interfere big time. but we finally get there. He says this is how I know I am doing to the right thing. THey have no reason to trust him yet. They are around to protect me. I just wish they would not use driving to try and stop me from getting there. It is dangerous. But he and I have strategies to help me stay safe. So mine do and can take over my consciousness. I am now better at knowing the signs which my new pdoc Dr. X has helped me know and understand. It is so weird and scary and I have one peep that tries to make me deny their existence. She gets me so worked up. she is the one that usually takes over. I am getting some control over staying but it is more like an out of body experience that I have to fight to stay. Sometimes I can only hear stuff. You can ask me I don't mind. It does help to talk about it however weird it is to talk about. And as my new doc says I am not crazy. I keep saying I feel that way and he keeps saying I am not. Oh and the voices. They can chatter up a storm at least mine can. And the flashes of them I have been getting. When my eyes aren't closed that is new. Have I scared you yet..........let me know when I do....rsk

 

(((Rsk))))thats gotta be hard :-( rskontos

Posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 18:42:42

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question, posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:20:57

Glad you got a good p-doc to help you out.
Hang in there.
Nice to see you posting.
M

 

Re: Never a dumb question rskontos

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 18:43:28

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question, posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:20:57

No, I'm not scared. And I don't think you're crazy.

I guess I just have to keep in mind that everyone's experience is different, and what would upset me doesn't upset others, because if it did they'd find a way to stop it, I'm sure.

I hope I didn't upset anyone by bringing it up.

 

Re: Never a dumb question Dinah

Posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:58:39

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question rskontos, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 18:43:28

OH no, the peeps term started out as a joke if I recall correctly and it was an easy thing for me to use since any other term bothered me, now that I am coming to terms with my dx, it isn't so bad what they are called. I don't they will mind so much as I don't if my hunch is correct. They are a part of me, they are the part that has the most disturbed parts, the memories, they have all the feelings. I have no feelings, no memories. I am the shell. I am the adult with no memories, no emotions. No connections to the past. When I need to connect I cannot. It is hard to function in the world when you need to go to the parts of you that you need to utitilize that would use those parts and hence the troubles. When you are so badly fragmented and it starts to unravel it gets messy and this is the state I am in now. Some days I seem fine. Other days I seem to be a raving lunatic. Some days I feel fine other days I feel like a bundle of nerves that are like trying to find a calm in a sea of nerve ending waves. I think therapy will find a way to make those connections from me those fragments parts. Neither of my parents parented. Both were ill. So I dissociated all my life until now. I still do actually. Most of the time I am dissociating. I do it well. So well sometimes I am unaware. And I did not know I was doing it.

So no you did not upset me. I can understand how you would think alters might not like the word peeps. For all I know one of them may come out and yell that they hate that word. I just don't know yet. And may not ever know. Everyone's experience is different just like depression is different for everyone. I am sorry if that term upset you. And if in the future one of my alters post forgive me in advance as I can't always stop them...for now this is rsk......


 

Re: Never a dumb question Dinah

Posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 20:09:12

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question muffled, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 17:16:43

> I read a book once about the Japanese idea, I think. It's likely still around somewhere.
>
> I don't know what I consider myself. I don't lose time or anything. But I know I'd spit fire if I referred to myself that way. Seriously. It would not be pretty.
>
> Maybe I'm looking to unionize or something. Rights for nondominant body sharers? I dunno. I seem to have pretty strong feelings tho.

*hmmm. It seems the stuff that triggers us the most is what we supposed to look at.....
Take it easy Dinah.
M

 

Re: Never a dumb question muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 21:47:37

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 20:09:12

I do look at it. I discussed it today with my therapist.

I like my therapist. He's so calm.

 

Good! Dinah

Posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 21:51:18

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question muffled, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 21:47:37

Keep up the good(but hard) work!
My T is calm too.
((( T's )))
I see mine next Tues.
M

 

Re: Never a dumb question Dinah

Posted by star008 on January 5, 2008, at 8:16:40

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question star008, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 17:28:41

Dinah..

In straight DID alters can take over consciousness.. In ddnos, for me, they don't..ddnos is a category for dissociative disorders that only have some of the criteria for DID, (previously called multiple personality disorder).. hope this helps.. confusing i know..

 

Re: Never a dumb question rskontos

Posted by star008 on January 5, 2008, at 8:27:09

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question, posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:20:57

rsk,,

I have trouble getting to my T too.. Even though I have gone the same way to get there for a couple of years and know the area I get lost at the same intersection all the time.!! I hadn't thought that maybe one of them didn't want me to get there. i am there, am aware of where I am but I can't remember where to turn..It doesn't make sense to me to get lost but maybe this is what is happening?? I have suspected that I am late on purpose though.. It happens too often..

 

Re: Never a dumb question star008

Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2008, at 9:37:26

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by star008 on January 5, 2008, at 8:16:40

It's actually not DID without time loss. Or inability to recall greater than what would be expected by ordinary forgetfulness.

My therapist has said that if he were to diagnose me, DD-NOS would be his top choice.

 

Re: Never a dumb question Dinah

Posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 10:48:27

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question star008, posted by Dinah on January 5, 2008, at 9:37:26

> It's actually not DID without time loss. Or inability to recall greater than what would be expected by ordinary forgetfulness.
>
> My therapist has said that if he were to diagnose me, DD-NOS would be his top choice.

*oh my goodness Dinah...
Your being so mysterious....
People with DD are just like anybody else often enuf. They function at complex jobs and their life is just fine. There's plenty out there who don't even know they dissociative! Its just not a prob for them.
I had no clue I had a DD before. NO clue. I just had headnoise, blanked, nothing was hard. Had it as long as I'd known. To me it was normal. How could I know any different?
So having a DD is not the end of the world and is considered treatable.
There's also many types of DD, that can be very different.
What type(DSM manual) do you think you lean towards?
So if your worrying that you got a DD, then quit worrying.
Or mebbe I am reading you wrong.
Just I wondered if you was worrying cuz you not saying much.
Post away.
Take care,
M

 

Re: Never a dumb question muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2008, at 11:04:30

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 10:48:27

I've never hid the fact that I have a dissociative disorder that does not meet DID standards. If it did, that would be ok too, but it doesn't. The standards for DID are rather precise.

I'm not trying to be mysterious about it. In fact, my attitude toward it is more that of an activist. :)

 

Re: Never a dumb question star008

Posted by rskontos on January 5, 2008, at 12:31:03

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question rskontos, posted by star008 on January 5, 2008, at 8:27:09

Star, I didn't realize this either, it was my new p-doc that told me this was what was going on and that it was proof that I was in the right place at the right time. (meaning changing to him) He also said it would get really messy but we have now identified some things to help me get there safely. I just have to leave really early to drive what should only take 15 minutes. And the days leading up to therapy are a struggle. I start having flashes, I dissociate (he calls switching dissociating, the other T called it switching). And I have a whole range of things that happen. I have noticed that this p-doc who has so much more experience with DID that the other T did he has a much different vocabulary for it as well as insight. The differences are interesting as well as insightful. I am not late on purpose, I have too many "helpers". But he (new doc) says to recognize this is a key to it all. rsk

His take on the troubles getting there is all the alters are trying to protect which is their role. so they try to prevent getting to the place where they felt threatened. It has happened each time I have gone and has gotten worse with each trip.

 

Re: Never a dumb question rskontos

Posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 12:38:03

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question star008, posted by rskontos on January 5, 2008, at 12:31:03

Can you take a cab or have someone drive you there Rsk?
Just a thot.
M

 

Re: Never a dumb question muffled

Posted by rskontos on January 5, 2008, at 13:16:45

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question rskontos, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 12:38:03

Muffled, thanks but I have no friends here I could ask, I have not made many here in the years we have lived here and the one I have that knows about my DID just moved. A cab, too scary for me. I hate strangers. But thanks for the thought.

I must confess something before a lid blows here. This thread triggered something. Dinah when I say no it didn't upset me, it didn't me, but it did someone inside of me. I must say this before she comes out. I just deleted a rather nasty posted before she posted it and it was a struggle. So I wanted to confess that in order to maybe calm a storm before it blows up more. Last night I was a seething storm and the triggers set off stuff. So I know you didn't mean it and all, but I need to let you know this from my perspective. Just to let them calm down. Thanks, I will be taking a break from babble to let this blow over as I am not sure what might happen if I don't. rsk

 

Re: Never a dumb question rskontos

Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2008, at 14:03:28

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question muffled, posted by rskontos on January 5, 2008, at 13:16:45

I'm sorry if anything I asked or said upset you.

I'm going to let it drop.

 

Re: Never a dumb question star008

Posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:03:52

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by star008 on January 5, 2008, at 8:16:40

Not so; wrong on both counts. DID develop greater awareness and integration of parts. For anyone that says they cannot be helped or cured or whatever you want to call it, that person is dead wrong. With DID, a person can be well aware of the parts, and at first, maybe not so.

DDNOS can be just like DID but with fewer parts, maybe two. DDNOS have dissociative episodes.

Everyone has dissociaive episdodes. There is the thing called normal dissociation. For example one is driving the same route they drive every day, and they space out thinking about something, and then all of a sudden the person says to self, Oh I am almost there. Did I stop at that stop sign 2 miles back? Likely the person did and just doesn't remember. Research backs this up.

Sometimes people confuse what is actually going on. Some folks are both Borderline Personality Disorder and DID. Some are just BPD with psychotic episodes and fancy themselves as DID. Some are just DID and get misdiagnosed as BPD. Or with the new fad diagnosis, some BPD get diagnosed as bipolar, etc. etc. etc. Just my PROFESSIONAL opinion.

Best for you and therapist to decide what is going on with you. The tendency to give misinformation on dissociative disorders can be damaging to others especially as I saw her later, someone said that DID is untreatable or something to that effect. That is just NOT SO.

RealMe
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

 

Re: Never a dumb question (nm)

Posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:09:11

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 10:48:27

 

Re: Never a dumb question muffled

Posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:12:51

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question Dinah, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 10:48:27

I meant to say that in my opinion, not all DDNOS folks do well in life and hold down a job. I have seen this as not so. In my opinion, there are people who are also BPD who may have some elements of dissociative disorder, and they are often quite impaired but certainly not untreatable.

RealMe

 

Did I miss the boat?

Posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 14:32:40

In reply to Re: Never a dumb question muffled, posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:12:51

Wouldn't be the first time...
Anyhow, this seems to be a topic of some controversy.
Ugh, I feel like Bob, I want to ask questions that are...well...Bobish..but I won't.
Thanks Realme.
That was an informative post.
The one above desctibing DD's etc.
It just goes to show how utterly confusing all this stuff truly is.
I have tried researching and it is indeed crazy making.
Thats why I am so inclined to just call them all DD, cuz they all interconnect and involve dissociation in such a way as it interferes with daily functioning.
If it doesn't interefere, its not a 'disorder'.
Thats my way of thinking.
Just for me, my life was such a continuing mass of confusion, and when I found out some stuff, it was SUCH a huge releife to me, cuz then it wasn't as confusing. SO much made sense finally. The reasons I could never move ahead, why I couldn't think, why i had such a bad sense of time, why i had the physical weirdness, why I always hid, etc etc etc. Its an ongoing journey of discovery for me. But alot better knowing stuff than being so utterly utterly lost.
So I am sorry if I say wrong things. I suppose I shouldn't be so rah rah, but like I said, this has been huge for me.
I just wonder if there's others out there reading and if it might help them. Its just much of what i learned bout myself I figgered on my own. I did not reseach cuz i wanted my own ideas. So then I research later and what i had figgered WAS real! Others were the same. I wasn't just being an idiot. So it is exiting for me in some ways.
Cuz it was so hard for so long, and I was SO lost so much of the time. So if I can help another somehow. That'd be great.
*I* beleive i have come to terms with my disorder. But I am afraid not all of me has. There is still great shame and fear on the part of others.
I will also cease to use the word p**p as I can understand how that might be problematic. Just when I say it, I think 'people', and that word is not insulting to my inner world. Cuz they are themselves, and we know that, and we do OK. There has been GREAT strides made in the arena of acceptance. It feels good.
So there you have it.
M

 

Re: Did I miss the boat? muffled

Posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:55:29

In reply to Did I miss the boat?, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 14:32:40

I will just say that in my opinion it is important to be careful who you read. There are some crackpots out there that put things on the internet (in my humble opinion)about dissociative disorders.

RealMe

 

Re: Did I miss the boat? muffled

Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2008, at 15:19:11

In reply to Did I miss the boat?, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 14:32:40

Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make trouble for anyone.

And Muffled, I think I understand better now that it isn't disrepectful for you to call them peeps. Thank you. That was what was upsetting to me, since respect is a big issue with me. But I see better now that it isn't meant disrespectfully or glibly when you say it.

Respect isn't something that is easy to come by in the circumstances, you know? So often (and I'm not talking about here, but with the "experts") it's either a lot of drama or a lot of mocking and disbelief. And rarely quiet dignity. That's why I love my therapist for being so calm and matter of fact.

And I guess it's why I continue to see him even when I'm doing well. Right now I wouldn't even say I have a dissociative "disorder" because it really doesn't cause me distress. But were I to no longer have my therapist, I can see where it could become a problem again.

 

Re: Did I miss the boat? RealMe

Posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 15:32:30

In reply to Re: Did I miss the boat? muffled, posted by RealMe on January 5, 2008, at 14:55:29

> I will just say that in my opinion it is important to be careful who you read. There are some crackpots out there that put things on the internet (in my humble opinion)about dissociative disorders.
>
> RealMe

*I agree.
See from above:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/804109.html

But I would say...thats why I kinda like to try and discuss it here on babble. To help me sort out the wheat from the chaff. To find out the best info I can. And to find out if I am going down paths that could be dangerous...
Cuz there is no question that there are sites out there that are just a persons opinion on something. Right or wrong. Partly right or partly wrong.Or even downright dangerous. I just try to pick out that which is useful to me. I do have a part thats reasonably intelligent but its not always available to me. I have only a HS education, but that doesn't mean I am not able to research and learn w/o being in school.
This site I posted, cuz it had some good safety stuff and imagry stuff, coping stuff, etc, that I thot might be good for all. It wasn't even the DID stuff I was looking at as being useful, it was just an aside to pick thru...that why I said '*some* useful stuff' and 'for all'.
I expect the intention of the site owner was proly just to put some stuff out there that he/she has learned in order to help others along their journey.
Its up to us as individuals to try and sort thru it.
And I thot babble might be a useful forum to help me with this endeavor, but perhaps its too controversial.
Oh well.
Sorry to any I migh perchance of offended.
M


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