Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 803407

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

star gets to rant and rave poss trigger

Posted by star008 on December 31, 2007, at 9:08:28

Why is it that we have to be so dependent on out T's for support..Why do we have to miss them. feels like an addiction sometimes.. We can't we just go about life and do whatever it is that everyone else does.??

sometimes i feel so needy and I hate it.. I hate neediness part of me that has to see him to get a reality check..What does he have that I don't have??what is it that "normal" people have that I don't have.. I think about him retiring someday and then i will never see him again and it will be like he died and I will have to accept it that way and know that I am not part of anythng.. I am just a client to be left behind eventually.. and i know it will hurt.. I have seen this guy for over ten years.

why do I have to be so needy? i feel needy sometimes when i go there and it embarrasses me that i need the help..That i just don't have it together..

And they have their own lives, families, houses, etc..And they go on vacations and leave for this or that and I accpt it and wait it out till he gets back.. that just doesn't feel good to me..And sometimes I miss him alot and that bothers me too..

I leave him and come back to my dumpy little house with my three dogs and that is all there is for me..

 

sigh, I'm with ya all the way(((Star)))(((dogs))) (nm) star008

Posted by muffled on December 31, 2007, at 9:41:55

In reply to star gets to rant and rave poss trigger, posted by star008 on December 31, 2007, at 9:08:28

 

me 2- what Muff said (((Star))) (((Muff))) (((dogs (nm)

Posted by JoniS on December 31, 2007, at 14:52:26

In reply to star gets to rant and rave poss trigger, posted by star008 on December 31, 2007, at 9:08:28

 

Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger star008

Posted by lovelorn on January 1, 2008, at 11:05:07

In reply to star gets to rant and rave poss trigger, posted by star008 on December 31, 2007, at 9:08:28

Well, it's like anything if we tell ourselves often enough. If you are constantly saying you need help, then you are in a constant state of feeling helpless and needing help. I try to frame it as much as possible as I need help with x or y, and once I've gotten that with my T, then move onto the next thing I need help with. If there is only one outlet for helping ourselves (as in seeing a T), then our dependency grows on that outlet, not shrinks. 10 years is a long time. There are some that do 'forever therapy'. Have you just kind of resigned yourself that you are one of those people?

Anyway, it's not easy as we are regularly opening ourselves up and being vulnerable with our T's and that adds to a sense of neediness and needing help. Maybe at an upcoming session you can ask your T for ways and suggestions on needing him and therapy less if that is a goal you have for yourself.

 

Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger lovelorn

Posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 16:13:13

In reply to Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger star008, posted by lovelorn on January 1, 2008, at 11:05:07

It is a long and confusing story.. I have had so much to deal with over the years and haven't been able to get my life together. I have been depressed for over 30 years so it is no surprise that I have been in therapy over ten years.

I just dont make progress very quickly.. I was only going every other week for a long, long time but recently things hae gotten worse and I need to work on my DID

 

Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger star008

Posted by lovelorn on January 1, 2008, at 16:22:03

In reply to Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger lovelorn, posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 16:13:13

Yes, I know that with some diagnosis that therapy will be very long and perhaps even lifelong, just the nature of the disorder or illness. I am glad you are able to get the therapy you need.

 

Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger

Posted by frida on January 2, 2008, at 16:33:20

In reply to Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger lovelorn, posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 16:13:13

Hi..
i've been in T for almost 8 years now. My t has been like a mom to me. And she's told me i've had an impact in her life as well and she loves me very much. 8 years, 10 years, is a long time, and the relationship we build *is* real.
as i see it, i want my T to be in my life somehow forever..I feel that's the way it will be. She has helped me so much and continues to help me. I make slow progress. It took me a long, long time to trust and learn how to talk, i'm still learning.
but now i do believe that some t's are different and willing to be emotionally touched and open.

i hope you can give yourself the opportunity to believe in the relationship you share with your T. After 10 years, Iam sure you two have built a deep, real bond.

just wanted to say that...

i know it hurts too...to trust and need someone...it gets a little easier when you realize it is ok to need and trust and the other person is human too...

not sure if i'm making much sense.
sending support,
Frida

 

Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger frida

Posted by star008 on January 2, 2008, at 21:19:23

In reply to Re: star gets to rant and rave poss trigger, posted by frida on January 2, 2008, at 16:33:20

Hi frida,

I think we do have a bond but I know it has limits too.. I love him very much.. Not a romantic love but a bond. I think that he loves me too...We go way back.. I actually met him when I was 14 years old and saw him for a couple of years then and went back to him many years later when my life still wasn't working.

I want to believe in the bond. I think it is there but I am always going to be the one who needs something and he is always going to older and wiser.. I don't have to discuss it with him yet but maybe someday I will.. I just don't want to lose touch in later years. I think that I will still want to see him but i don't know if he will want to see me..

thx.. you did make sense


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