Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 794592

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Well after four tries here on finding good fit no

Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 10:52:23

Tried four times up here to find a good fit in a therapist since it isn't happening and I have delt pretty well with the verbal abuse of my past and aging is something that can't be controlled will probably just stop theraphy and go it alone. I'll also go back to probably occasionally lurking on this board as I obviously have nothing in common. My problems are medical. If they disappeared would feel much better. And afterall I am an adult and should and will try to solve my own problems with help from my online friends and neighbors. Phillipa money is a problem too. Can't afford those trying out new therapists. Will do the Cbt. I seem to do much better since I'm a control freak of me operating on my own schedule. So once and a while may post but will mostly just read.

 

(((Phillipa))) Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2007, at 11:04:58

In reply to Well after four tries here on finding good fit no, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 10:52:23

I'm not currently on many meds, but I don't feel uncomfortable posting on the medication board about medications I once took.

I don't think currently being in therapy is a requirement for posting on this board.

Moreover, working on CBT on your own is definitely a Psychology Board topic, so please feel free to post any questions you have about your progress, or if you need a fresh perspective.

Maybe if we understood why you found your previous therapists a bad fit, we'd be able to be of assistance?

 

Re: (((Phillipa)))

Posted by rskontos on November 12, 2007, at 12:01:04

In reply to (((Phillipa))) Phillipa, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2007, at 11:04:58

Phillipa I do think you have something in common which is having trouble coping with life at the present. I don't think being in therapy is a pre-requisite for being here. I think just having issues dealing with your brain and its inner workings is. jMHO. I almost quit therapy. I have issues with it too. Mainly I wonder if I will get well. I struggle with thinking I am a loser that my life doesn't count so why go. But I then smack myself mentally and try to pick myself up from my bootstraps again mentally and plug forward mentally. and boy it takes effort these days. I understand where you are but please stick around. I you have financial and mental reasons for not wanting to do therapy then take the break. I wish you luck. I am on meds but don't post much on the meds boards because i feel intimidated there. I am more comfortable here. I wish you luck doing it on your own. We here at Babble are good at listening and want to help you all we can......rk

 

Re: (((Phillipa))) rskontos

Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 12:35:56

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))), posted by rskontos on November 12, 2007, at 12:01:04

I'm scared so very scared of everything. Going out, staying home, I feel I'm the sickest on babble and have for a long time and just don't like to cry on here. But until you turn 60 you will never know how frightening that in itself is as there is not much time left in your life. Tell me that 20 years ago I would have brushed it off and forgotten it. I think to myself what is the point in sticking around as if the end is the end why does it matter when. I brought my kids up to be independant as I raised myself and have made so many mistakes until lately forgave myself for. Oh but I was a good Mom maybe too good as my kids don't even call when they know I'm having the surgery to act concerned. They live their lives. Well I want them too. But when no one not even a therapist or a doc says it's your right to end it anytime you like is that right? Makes the self-esteem and fear even worse. I have to leave the house with my husband daily to stay alive another day. I am very active on the med board as I don't understand why lets say an SSRI seems to make people tired and me I flip out. I have given up hope. All I wanted was to nurse. Now the pains in my degenerative disc back and fused on it's own neck won't allow me to do even this small joy to me. So I know I have to do something else. I can't go from being a nurse to volunteering it would be devasting for me so trying the maybe not supposed to mention but ebay . I must find something to give me the desire to live again. Boy I'm fighting inside for my life can't cry only want to sleep and can't stand being criticized cause I can't contribute more than my disability to the household. Even trying to clean is hurtful for my back and tiring. Well just seriously delete this go on and live cause life is not forever. There will come a time in life when a lot of medical problems may or may not affect you. But love your kids and enjoy those baby and toddler times they will be gone soon never to return. Sorry to sound negative. This babble is my life line at this time in life. My real board is the meds board . Social if anyone is there to try and lighten up. No I'm not suicidal don't think about that. Just let try and help others my happiness comes from that. Just no I don't want help from you if you don't. And I hope this civil. I don't want to break any rules. Thanks for letting me vent. Phillipa

 

Re: Well after four tries here on finding good fit no Phillipa

Posted by sunnydays on November 12, 2007, at 14:21:06

In reply to Well after four tries here on finding good fit no, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 10:52:23

We're all adults and we're not going it alone. But I hear how hard you've tried. You're sure you can't keep trying out therapists? I know you said you had Medicare at one point, how much will they pay for?

sunnydays

 

Re: Well after four tries here on finding good fit Phillipa

Posted by cactus on November 12, 2007, at 15:48:30

In reply to Well after four tries here on finding good fit no, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 10:52:23

this is number 5 for me

 

Re: (((Phillipa))) Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2007, at 17:05:44

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))) rskontos, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 12:35:56

I'm finding that it's hard to acknowledge that my body just can't do the things it once could. My mind can't either, I suppose. I always feel surprised and betrayed. My therapist and I commiserate with each other, since he's a few years older than I am and is experiencing the same thing.

Maybe it's something that needs to be mourned like any other loss. Yet people are more likely to tell you that age doesn't matter, and there's nothing to mourn. Maybe something in the middle is more likely true.

I'm sorry you haven't been able to find a therapist who is able to help you let go of the pain of loss and evaluate what the best possible future might be.

I'm sure this goes without saying, but I imagine if you look back over the families you met while you were nursing, that you'll remember that there are a lot of different ways of contributing to a family.

 

Re: (((Phillipa))) Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 19:04:42

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))) Phillipa, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2007, at 17:05:44

Dinah I agree with the midde road. Mine is in her 50's I'd say but so trim, thin, and well manicured I feel very insecure around her.Seriously the only one I've clicked with was a new Social Worker who worked for the hospital no private patients. But maybe it's better to have someone younger. As far as nursing and families when nursing up North in Ct always felt so sad for the elderly patients as their families would buy them things but if they needed assistance it was for the nurse to do no the families did no hands on. When they were old were put in a nursing home. Down South the little time I nursed found a much stronger family unit with family staying around the clock with the family member and helping to care for them. It's horrible what we do with elders these days. Not speaking of all of course. I think the Chinese rever their elders and that is how it should be as they had given to the best of their ability through the years. My Mother died when I was l7 so I never had a Mother when kids were born did it all myself. Forgave my Mother many years ago as her yelling and screaming at me were from prednisone when first discovered they did not know the long term side effects. I feel psychosis was applicable in her case. So it was not her fault she did the best she could and how horrible to be sick from the age of 33. Phillipa

 

Re: (((Phillipa)))

Posted by Justherself54 on November 13, 2007, at 10:22:12

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))) rskontos, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 12:35:56

> I'm scared so very scared of everything. Going out, staying home, I feel I'm the sickest on babble and have for a long time and just don't like to cry on here. But until you turn 60 you will never know how frightening that in itself is as there is not much time left in your life. Tell me that 20 years ago I would have brushed it off and forgotten it. I think to myself what is the point in sticking around as if the end is the end why does it matter when. I brought my kids up to be independant as I raised myself and have made so many mistakes until lately forgave myself for. Oh but I was a good Mom maybe too good as my kids don't even call when they know I'm having the surgery to act concerned. They live their lives. Well I want them too. But when no one not even a therapist or a doc says it's your right to end it anytime you like is that right? Makes the self-esteem and fear even worse. I have to leave the house with my husband daily to stay alive another day. I am very active on the med board as I don't understand why lets say an SSRI seems to make people tired and me I flip out. I have given up hope. All I wanted was to nurse. Now the pains in my degenerative disc back and fused on it's own neck won't allow me to do even this small joy to me. So I know I have to do something else. I can't go from being a nurse to volunteering it would be devasting for me so trying the maybe not supposed to mention but ebay . I must find something to give me the desire to live again. Boy I'm fighting inside for my life can't cry only want to sleep and can't stand being criticized cause I can't contribute more than my disability to the household. Even trying to clean is hurtful for my back and tiring. Well just seriously delete this go on and live cause life is not forever. There will come a time in life when a lot of medical problems may or may not affect you. But love your kids and enjoy those baby and toddler times they will be gone soon never to return. Sorry to sound negative. This babble is my life line at this time in life. My real board is the meds board . Social if anyone is there to try and lighten up. No I'm not suicidal don't think about that. Just let try and help others my happiness comes from that. Just no I don't want help from you if you don't. And I hope this civil. I don't want to break any rules. Thanks for letting me vent. Phillipa

I rarely post on this board as I don't see a therapist (distance and lack of therapists) and let me tell you I can feel your pain Phillipa..I feel betrayed by my brain and body..I have not been able to find "closure" on the fact I may never be able to return to my career. That's not to say my career defined me, but I took pride in it and miss working terribly..my self-esteem is in the toilet..even when I tried to return to work, I had to deal with all the office politics and backstabbing from younger workers who had their eye on the prize which was my job..and now there is only 4 months left..either I try again or it's gone for good..and I don't have it in me to try again..

I too feel time ticking by and no real improvements..physically or mentally..so the question is "what do I do with myself now?"..I look back at the vivacious, intelligent person I was 5 years ago and wonder where she went..I feel I have no purpose in life..sure I take pleasure in the fact I have 3 beautiful grandchildren but my chronic pain condition makes it harder and harder for me to spend more than one or two days with them..

It's hard when your friends and colleagues don't understand what you're living with..when you know what's going through their minds.."why can't she pull herself up by her bootstraps"..

So Phillipa..you don't sound negative to me..just tired, in pain and scared..me too..

 

Re: (((Phillipa))) Justherself54

Posted by Phillipa on November 13, 2007, at 20:28:08

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))), posted by Justherself54 on November 13, 2007, at 10:22:12

Yes I am very scared and tired. What is helping you out? Love Phillipa

 

Re: (((Phillipa)))

Posted by angela2 on November 14, 2007, at 19:05:04

In reply to Re: (((Phillipa))) rskontos, posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2007, at 12:35:56

((((((((((((Phillipa)))))))))))))
My brother has back issues too. He can't always move in ways that most people can. And finding a T? Don't get me started, lol. finding the right t is so hard. I'm going it alone too right now.


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