Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 794039

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

How much Can I really take?

Posted by star008 on November 9, 2007, at 0:13:49

I have been therapy for about 14 years, and on meds for about 12 years.. The problem is that I have treatment resisitant depression and hadly get a break from it at all these days. I have tried every med there is out there at the moment. I know this board is not about meds and they weren't really the isssue anyway. I sober for alsmot 12 years until I relapsed 6 weeks ago. The problem is mine and I can't put it on anyone else but I want to ask my therapist "what do you expect".. "What do you expect from me when I have been in therapy for what seems like forever and I don't get better.. I stayed sober for 12 years trying to get through this stuff and finally I just can't take anymore. Alcohol isn't the answer but don't therpists realize that sooner or later it is bound to happen if the depression isn't relieved?? thanks for letting me ramble.this could go on a few boards but the therapy one seems the closest to me

 

Re: How much Can I really take? star008

Posted by Phillipa on November 9, 2007, at 10:43:32

In reply to How much Can I really take?, posted by star008 on November 9, 2007, at 0:13:49

I feel they understand and any advise from her/him? Phillipa

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by star008 on November 9, 2007, at 15:26:19

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take? star008, posted by Phillipa on November 9, 2007, at 10:43:32

Thanks for your response.. Well mine doesn't understand. Alcohol is not the way to go and I know it. I think he doesn't know what to do anymore since my progress is so slow. I guess he just wants me to hang in there and wait more years for thngs to get better.. But they don't get better

 

Re: How much Can I really take? star008

Posted by Raindancer on November 9, 2007, at 18:08:05

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by star008 on November 9, 2007, at 15:26:19

Star, it seems like a very long time with so little in the way of feeling better. Would this be a good time to try a fresh approach with a different T? Just a thought as you seem a little stuck. I know it's not easy. Do keep posting and let us know how you're getting on.

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by star008 on November 15, 2007, at 22:18:56

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take? star008, posted by Raindancer on November 9, 2007, at 18:08:05

Thx raindancer and phil for your feedback.. I have thought about finding a new T but I really like the one I have. I may be stuck.. You might be right.. maybe i should leave this T for awhile and work with another. I know I am hard to work with..

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by antigua3 on November 16, 2007, at 6:55:38

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by star008 on November 15, 2007, at 22:18:56

please don't put all the responsibility on yourself. yes, you may be hard to work with (by, the way, I'm the queen of that category so you have some hefty competition), but they are also supposed to be trained to help all types. All I'm trying to say is that please don't take the blame, you are not at fault here. Old childhood pattern? For me, I know it is.
best,
antigua

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by star008 on November 16, 2007, at 7:38:48

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by antigua3 on November 16, 2007, at 6:55:38

Yes,, it is an old habit of mine to take the blame for everything. You are right a good T should be able to work with almost anyone. I really don't know what to do.. He says that sicne I have started drinking again that we can't work on much.. I understand that but we couldn't work on much anyway since I am rarely "stable" enough to take into painful stuff.. I have my good days but they are overshadowed by the bad days..the bad days can get really BAD.. It seems that as I get older things just get worse and worse.. MIght sound strange but my depression seemed to get much worse when I quit drinking.. Being sober means never taking a break from it. I know I can't drink but right now it is what I want to do.I am only drinking a couple of days a week and not getting drunk. thx for your help any ideas?

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by rskontos on November 16, 2007, at 10:38:51

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by star008 on November 16, 2007, at 7:38:48

Star008, Today my neuro said something I thought was good when we were discussing the AD I am on. When I told her that I was not getting the high and energy etc that alot of people said they got when taking them she replied that you don't really want to totally numb the depression if you are in therapy because then you won't be motivated to work on the depression. I have been thinking about that. Are you using drinking to avoid it too like she suggested. I had not really thought about being motivated to do something about the depression and working on what caused it. She did ask me if I was making progress. I am . But I know it takes time and for me I know my issues have been around since childhood. Do you know what is the source of your depression. I dont know if that is important but it would seem to me IMHO to get something under control you must know the controls and mechanisms of it first. Do you know the controls and triggers of your depression or does life just suck? I think if you fall in the category of life just sucks it is much harder because you really need to discover the source. I have a difficult childhood to put to rest. I am not sure if laying that to rest will ease the depression for good but that is my hope. I would not worry so much about the drinking because I think you are just using it to numb you when you cant take the depression. So you don't blow up. My T says not to struggle so much against your inner self but go with the flow to a point and to try and work with yourself. do you see a way to do that? I am very introspective at the moment so forgive me if this seems like a bunch of rambling. I mean well but if you find that you can't handle this you won't hurt my feelings. I just felt your pain when I read your post and it reminded me of what my neuro said and who would think a neuro would have some insight? She is a good doc though and listens to me when I talk about my issues and offers advice. Another first in my book.

Good luck I wish you well. I do understand how hard this is. rk

 

Re: How much Can I really take? star008

Posted by antigua3 on November 18, 2007, at 6:50:22

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by star008 on November 16, 2007, at 7:38:48

No, it's not unusual at all for the depression to get worse when you stop drinking. Drinking numbs and if you use it when you just can't handle it anymore, then you are dealing with the drinking and not the underlying problem. I say this because it's exactly what I went through. When I quit drinking, I had to deal with what was underneath and I can truly say that I didn't make leaps and bounds of progress until I quit. Drinking episodes always lead to great insight to my problems, but I had to use it to stop coping.

And yes, I went into a very deep depression after quitting. But with a compassionate T and good doctors for meds, I really quit and I see the world in a whole different way. In both good and bad ways, but eventually the good has definitely outweighed the bad. Quitting was a godsend for me. Alcohol abuse runs through my family and I was a natural for turning to it to help.

For me, there would be a point where I just couldn't stand IT anymore, and I would drink. When I learned what the IT was (confronting childhood issues), I could start dealing with that.

Quitting is very difficult, but if you can do it, or need help to do it, please do so. It will shift the entire focus of your therapy, and your life.

I am always here to help, and there are others on the substance abuse board who will support you.

Ask me anything you want.
antigua

 

Re: How much Can I really take?

Posted by star008 on November 18, 2007, at 7:08:25

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take?, posted by rskontos on November 16, 2007, at 10:38:51

Hi Rk

thx for your response. I was sober for about 12 years with a couple minor slips. I did have to feel the depression more. I stayed sober for a long, long time but recently I guess I got discouraged and just couldn't take the depression anymore. I have been in therapy for years and have tried med afte med after med.. Some work for a little while and I think that maybe this time will work for me but I always end up crashing down again. I don't have faith that any med will work for me any more.. I am treatment resistant as far as meds go and don't get a whole lot of relief from therapy either. I keep trying new combinations of meds.. nothing works for any length of time if it works at all.

I do understand some of my triggers..There are many of them.sometimes I just crash and know it was a trigger but didn't even notice what it was. I have lots of the childhood stuff too.. Alot of the time my life just sucks..
No, waht you said was not too much for me.. I understand what you are saying. I have only been drinking a couple of days a week and not getting more than a bit drunk. I think I honestly know that it isn't the best way to go for me but I have been relieved to take a break from the endless depression. I don't know why it worked, but it did. My P and my T aren't too happy about it!!

 

Re: How much Can I really take? antigua3

Posted by star008 on November 18, 2007, at 7:18:09

In reply to Re: How much Can I really take? star008, posted by antigua3 on November 18, 2007, at 6:50:22

antigua..,

I was sober for along long time in therapy. The depression was bad after I quit and it is still here and still bad.. I get little breaks now and then and I feel better for a week or so but I know it will come back and hit be again.
My T is not too happy, (of course) about my alcohol use.. I did have a serious drinking problem back then before I quit. I know I might be playing with fire and it could get me again.
I think I just got desperate and tired of things not getting better for me even though I have been in therapy for years and on every med they make.
Sorry some of this is repeated from the post above but I wanted to anwser each of you individually. Right now my meds just take away any ambition I have and I don't even do simple things like clean my house.. If I drink a few drinks I can get up and get something done.
thx for your caring. I haven't posted on this board before but am touhed by the people who don't even know me who want to help and give me support


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