Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 792529

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so NOW what do i do?

Posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 12:03:57

ok...first..i lost my @#()$&# i need to restate it as best as i can rmember.

so NOW what do i do?
i've got this Overwhelming NEED to talk...about EVERYTHING. about it all. all the abuse i can remember. the emotions, the pain. i want tell it all.
i want to throw it all up. i have this...this URGE to do it.

...but i don't think my T see's people wed-fri this now what? i mean i JUST saw her, why couldn't i have been like this yesterday?
i know...i just know that i wont be like this for long. soon...very soon. i will close over. and tuck it down, and minimize it and become afraid to talk about it...again.

i wish i could email it to her. all of it.
i wish i could see her in one hour.
i wish...i wish i could get this corrosive bile outside of me.

what do i do?



Posted by happyflower on October 31, 2007, at 12:29:47

In reply to so NOW what do i do?, posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 12:03:57

((((((B2)))))))))))) Write on babble all the stuff or on paper or something. Don't worry about grammer or spelling, just let it pour out of you. Or talk to yourself,or sing outloud to some music. Some of that crap just might stay out where it belongs instead of inside you. Good luck! I think it is a good sign you wanting to do this. Maybe call and leave a long message to your T all the sh*t on your mind.


Re: (((((((b2))))))))

Posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 12:56:46

In reply to (((((((b2)))))))), posted by happyflower on October 31, 2007, at 12:29:47

i wish there was a place on babble we could write out abuse...but its nothing but triggers, and i just don't want the world reading it...people here on babble psych ok...but it is so "OUT THERE" on the net, that i can't...ya know?

but....even though i'm worried about writing on paper in fear of someone finding it...i NEED to try something.
i'm at work, so i'm gonna try and sneak some writings in...
maybe i'll do my old trick of doing an outline first then filling it in tonight! outline...for abuse..great. WTF?? that sounds so moronic...yet, it might just work?
god, i think only people here would not think i'm out of my Freaking mind.


Re: (((((((b2))))))))

Posted by rskontos on October 31, 2007, at 17:23:58

In reply to Re: (((((((b2)))))))), posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 12:56:46

B2c, my T encouraged me to write it out and get it out of me. She says it is a release so do it. Write it out and hide it where only you know if you have to. I do understand. I feel the same need. I didn't say all I needed to at me therapy session. I talked to my sister today because my father is provoking me. I am not talking to him but he left me a message and it is provoking so.....I understand the need to get it out. so you need to do this now. Email her. Write it down and then give it to her. Do the outline and give it too her if you don't want to write all of it. I don't it is dumb or moronic . YOu are not out of your mind you are trying to heal. So go for it. Let us know how you do with it. I find writing it out the best. I think it helps the inner voices too. rk


Re: (((((((b2))))))))

Posted by happyflower on October 31, 2007, at 20:34:51

In reply to Re: (((((((b2)))))))), posted by rskontos on October 31, 2007, at 17:23:58

HI B2,

One thing I used to do when I was writing a lot with my first T, I would write out all the nasty stuff then I would burn it outside in my firepit, because I too, didn't want people to come across it either. Hope you got through today at work. Take care


Re: so NOW what do i do? B2chica

Posted by RealMe on October 31, 2007, at 23:07:12

In reply to so NOW what do i do?, posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 12:03:57

B2; I just sent you a long post and lost it. I hate it when I do that and hit the wrong button. Crap. Anyway, the gist of what I was saying is that it did not work for me to vomit it all up with my last T. I just ended up more depressed because I felt so overwhelmed. Current T says we will return to time frames and events over and over, and so it doesn't matter my focus. I keep thinking if I go through things chronilogically that I can take care of it all. Not so. Stupid idea. So, the day before therapy I try to thing about what I want to focus on, and then I try to stay with that.

At first I just went through the senario, or tried, and he stopped me. You know what I mean? When you talk about the abuse as if you are just reporting on it and have no emotions. So, I try to not do that, but it is less painful.

I would think try to do one piece at a time. A marathon session seems like it would be great, but it would not be.



Re: so NOW what do i do? RealMe

Posted by B2chica on November 1, 2007, at 7:55:28

In reply to Re: so NOW what do i do? B2chica, posted by RealMe on October 31, 2007, at 23:07:12

RM, you are absolutely right.
my last T i did exactly that. i vomited it all up with him...and it's still there. infact i think i have more cognitive memories of it now.
i know it helped to spit it up-to take away alot of the physical effect. but now i need to do something different.
and i did just want to "report" it.
i do need to do a piece at a time. i wish i just knew what to do with it.

i told T last session that i think that my 'parts' need to tell memories of their own because when i say them with no emotion they don't seem real, or that bad. so it's hard for 'me' to tell her i was feeling bad if i'm not feeling bad in the moment. and i think that's where littleone comes in. shes the crier. and she KNOWs how bad i felt. 'i' however don't.

this is just so much more complicated than i ever thought.
i thought ok, i see a therapist, i spit i out...all done.
LOL ya right.

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