Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 766821

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I have mixed feelings about doing well

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:27:59

People say I'm doing much better now and they think it's great, but does this mean that they didn't like me as much when I wasn't doing so well?

I'm not sure why, but it kind of makes me feel bad(?) (I dunno how to describe this feeling) when people say I'm sooo much better now.

I kind of want people to accept me for who I am. Sometimes I get in bad ways and I want people to accept that part of me.

I want people to like me just the way I am.

:-( Want to cry now

Deneb*

 

I don't know what's wrong

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:38:57

In reply to I have mixed feelings about doing well, posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:27:59

I get tearful easily lately. I get kind of sad. Get angry sometimes. Want to throw a tantrum sometimes.

This doesn't feel good.

Wow, it's really late. Not sleepy

I want to be happy again. :-(

Deneb

 

Re: I don't know what's wrong Deneb

Posted by sunnydays on June 30, 2007, at 9:48:18

In reply to I don't know what's wrong, posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:38:57

It's up to you how you choose to think about what people say. You could ask them straight-out, and then you would know for sure. But otherwise it's your choice how to interpret their comments. Personally, I think it's just that they're happy for you because it seems like you're happier. It doesn't mean they don't accept you when you're upset, they're just happier when you're happier. It is nicer to feel happy, isn't it?

But the sad times will come, and they will pass. It's about not getting stuck on them, and letting them go their natural course. But, no, I think people like you no matter what Deneb, because you're a likeable person!

sunnydays

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well

Posted by OzLand on June 30, 2007, at 9:50:26

In reply to I have mixed feelings about doing well, posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:27:59

If people say you are doing much better, it could mean they are happy for you. It does not mean they are more willing to accept you now. I also think it is very scary to start to do better; it can be very unsettling, but it also means you must be working very hard at changing. It can be like a death so to speak to lose the "old me," so to speak. The old may feel more comfortable even if it also feels awful. The new can be very unsettling and scary. I don't know if I am making any sense, but this has been my experience.

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Deneb

Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2007, at 10:54:37

In reply to I have mixed feelings about doing well, posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:27:59

I get the same feeling when people tell me I look like I've lost weight. It's a tricky thing to compliment people on change without hurting them.

But... When I say it, it's largely because I know you've worked hard, and I want to acknowledge that hard work. And because it seems that you're happier now. That's all. I'm sorry if I didn't word it well.

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Deneb

Posted by DAisym on June 30, 2007, at 15:09:31

In reply to I have mixed feelings about doing well, posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 1:27:59

I think this is pretty common - to have mixed feelings about compliments. I guess, for me, I'm always hoping no one noticed when I wasn't doing well, so they won't now know I'm doing better. I think we also use these kinds of statements as validation of the positive things right now - because even if you were doing worse, no one would probably say that to you.

It is hard not to worry about now having to stay strong, or in a good place or whatever. But the reality is that moods and feelings change - for everyone and everyone expects that. Hopefully it won't be a prolonged negative shift.

I hope you are feeling happier today.

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well DAisym

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 30, 2007, at 16:44:53

In reply to Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Deneb, posted by DAisym on June 30, 2007, at 15:09:31

Hi Deneb,
I like you just the way you are, even if that means that sometimes you're not doing well.

I don't think people change who they are just because they aren't stable, or they aren't feeling right. No matter what you'll still be Deneb*, and that's something that won't change as you go through phases of feeling better, feeling worse, etc.

You might want to talk to pdoc/T about the mood swings, though. They can be pretty scary, especially when things change out of the blue. I have found that I am much more mood-swingy as I make that transition from depressed to anti-depressed.

Hope you're having an okay day today and that you don't get too tired.

-Ll

 

Re: I don't know what's wrong sunnydays

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 17:07:41

In reply to Re: I don't know what's wrong Deneb, posted by sunnydays on June 30, 2007, at 9:48:18

Thanks for replying sunnydays. My thinking is all negative lately, I think it's my interpretation that is wrong. You're right, they're probably happy b/c I'm happier.

Deneb*

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well OzLand

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 17:10:47

In reply to Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well, posted by OzLand on June 30, 2007, at 9:50:26

> If people say you are doing much better, it could mean they are happy for you. It does not mean they are more willing to accept you now. I also think it is very scary to start to do better; it can be very unsettling, but it also means you must be working very hard at changing. It can be like a death so to speak to lose the "old me," so to speak. The old may feel more comfortable even if it also feels awful. The new can be very unsettling and scary. I don't know if I am making any sense, but this has been my experience.

Hi OzLand, I think you have a point there. Maybe change is hard, even if it's good change.

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Dinah

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 17:13:52

In reply to Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 30, 2007, at 10:54:37

I think you worded things very well. It's just me and my negative interpretations.

I think the positive reinforcement should be a good thing.

Thanks for all your support Dinah.

Deneb*

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well DAisym

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 17:15:52

In reply to Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well Deneb, posted by DAisym on June 30, 2007, at 15:09:31

Thanks DaisyM,

I feel a little better today. I might do something with my friends tomorrow.

 

Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2007, at 17:19:21

In reply to Re: I have mixed feelings about doing well DAisym, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 30, 2007, at 16:44:53

Thanks ((((LlurpsieNoodle))))

Thanks for liking me despite my flaws.

I'm still me even if I don't do the same things. Change is tricky.

Deneb*


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.