Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 642206

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Oh h*ll

Posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

It seems my son's play therapist thinks that given the current situation in New Orleans, it's better for us to move even if my son thinks it's not what he wants. That long term kids around here will be continually retraumatized by small losses for the next five to ten years.

So that leaves just my therapist as a reason to stay here, and I guess it would be selfish for me to insist to stay here for that reason.

I know we're going to try phone sessions, and I'll come here as often as I can to see him. But I'm realistic enough to know that that won't work. At least it should be more of a drifting away than a traumatic ripping.

Sigh.

How can there be this person that has been so important to me for a quarter of my life. The mother I always wished I had. And it will just *end*. How can that be?

I know people divorce. And people move away from their parents. But that's a bit different because you stay in touch and you're still family. How can there just be nothing after a quarter of my life with someone? Someone I love so much? It's like ripping out a part of me.

 

Re: Oh h*ll

Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2006, at 14:18:26

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

(((((((((((Dinah))))))))))))))))
this is a terrible situation.
i don't even know what to say. i understand your loss but only to a degree. i had an amazing connection to my T but i only knew him for a year. it pains me still. so i can't even imaging had our relationship been years.

i know you will in the end do what is best for everyone. a terrible decision to have to make.
don't know what to say Dinah.
so sorry.

b2c.

 

it's just not fair. it really isn't.

Posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:25:51

In reply to Re: Oh h*ll, posted by B2chica on May 10, 2006, at 14:18:26

i think i may hate therapy.

 

Re: it's just not fair. it really isn't. Dinah

Posted by LadyBug on May 10, 2006, at 14:46:28

In reply to it's just not fair. it really isn't., posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:25:51

There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. I can only imagine how you feel. I think I'd be devastated to leave my T. after so many years of being with her. We are so close and things have been so good between us the more years we have worked together.

Hang in there, you are strong! I wish you peace.
LadyBug

 

Re: Oh h*ll Dinah

Posted by orchid on May 10, 2006, at 15:23:45

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

I am sorry for the pain that you are going through. It must be incredibly difficult. I hope your T does everything possible to make it easy for you.

You have all my hugs and support.

(((dinah)))

But remember, you can count on babble.

 

Re: Oh h*ll Dinah

Posted by gardenergirl on May 10, 2006, at 15:42:56

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

Dinah,
I'm so sorry this is still a conflict. It must be really difficult to make such a decision.

I saw this in a catalog today and after reading your post, I thought of it again. I wish I could send it to you. But here it is virtually.

Release Miniature Clay Sculpture

EXCLUSIVE! A tiny bird rests in the hands of a caring adult-but the bird is a separate piece, not permanently attached. The story card explains: "As you take flight, remember that you are surrounded by the limitless space of my heart." An eloquent gift for a child leaving home, a friend moving away, or any loved one striking out on his or her own, this sculpture celebrates life's passages and reminds us to trust in them. 2"w x 3"h x 1"d. Made in a small studio in Oregon's Willamette Valley. http://www.signals.com/graphics/products/large/HC6442.jpg

Love,
gg

 

Offering two perspectives for your confusion... Dinah

Posted by Racer on May 10, 2006, at 17:20:11

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

Dinah, you know that my heart is going out to you, and I hope that you know what I'm about to write is offered with great affection -- and a lot of fear that you won't like reading it.

My friend's pdoc, who did therapy with her as well as meds, was killed in the tsunami at the end of 2004. It's a tragic fact that sometimes people are ripped from our lives, and it hurts like a bad word every time it happens, but accepting it helps heal the hurt. Believe me, I know that I have felt the denial, the "but it shouldn't be this way!" I know I felt like digging in my heels and hauling back on whatever it was, but all that did was prolong my agony. (In my case, I'm thinking mostly about the deaths of people I loved. Those, obviously, can't be hauled back.)

On the other hand, of course, I just hate that you're in so much pain. I wish I could offer you something that would help.

 

Re: Oh h*ll Dinah

Posted by annierose on May 10, 2006, at 18:43:50

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

I am so sorry this decision is filled with so much angst for you and your family.

I truly do know how much your T means to you --- the world. It's okay to let him go. That's part of love too. One day your son will be all grown up and declare that he is old enough to make choices on his own --- he'll go to college, maybe meet a nice girl, marry, etc. Even when we love someone so so so much, life continually evolves, for better or worse, and as humans, we adapt. And I know you are tired of adapting this past year or two. You have had your fair share of life changes.

I think if you and your husband decide to move, you will eventually try to find another therapist. And you'll be extremely careful in your choice. You may have to sit in some pretty bad waiting rooms and sift through a few until you find one that is just right. But I do believe, I truly do, with the right therapist, you can grieve this loss and all the others you have endured. And this new T will help you in new ways.

This decision is an adult one. As I said before, your son's job is to say he wants to stay. That's what kids do. Your job is to reassure him that you have considered his feelings, and you will help him adjust to the new home and new school and new friends (of course, that is if you do in fact move).

 

(((((((Dinah)))))))It isn't fair, U R right. (nm)

Posted by happyflower on May 10, 2006, at 20:54:09

In reply to Re: Oh h*ll Dinah, posted by annierose on May 10, 2006, at 18:43:50

 

Re: Oh h*ll Dinah

Posted by milly on May 11, 2006, at 16:22:07

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

can't offer any advice only to say it isn't fair and it does hurt like crazy
((((((dinah))))))))))))
milly

 

Re: Oh h*ll » Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on May 13, 2006, at 16:51:10

In reply to Oh h*ll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 14:10:12

Somehow I can't imagine your relationship with your therapist just "ending". You will always have a relationship with him. He will always remember you, and you will always remember him. And I would expect that you will keep in touch with him on some basis forever.

I guess I don't see it as "ending" - I see it as changing...

May the decision-making phase of this end quickly for you!


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