Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 641534

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What do you do with so much anger inside?

Posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 19:53:37

I am trying to get it all out and everything I am doing isn't helping.
I am working out everyday, jogging, yoga, weights, cardio.
I am blasting my trumpet as loud as I can until I am exhausted.
Sunday I gardened for 7 hours till exhustion.
I take relaxing baths with music
I read books
I play with the kids
What else is there? I just feel like I have this inside of me an it is just building no matter what I do.
I feel so frusterated, my running is getting too hard and it is so discouraging. I know it has to be anger holding me back.
My kids are arguing all the time and it drivingme insane.
Then I have my husband acting like everything is noramal and expect me to forget everything that has happened this year, heck he won't even talk about it, just wants to shove it under the rug.
Then there is my T , well you know that story.
Do you ever have so much anger you feel like you are going to explode? What do you do? I want to call my T and just scream as loud as I can, F*ck life, f*ck the world, living sucks! Will I ever be able to stop fighting for everything?

 

well, according to homer simpson...

Posted by madeline on May 8, 2006, at 20:29:23

In reply to What do you do with so much anger inside?, posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 19:53:37

to lisa....
"Take your anger and squeeze it into a tight little ball, and then release it at an inappropriate time. Remember when daddy hit that referee with the whiskey bottle? Hmm? Yeah..."

that homer...

Seriously, anger is not a bad emotion, I think as you have already demonstrated, it can be very motivating and constructive. But, to me, anger always indicates that I'm not getting something that I really really want.

The problem for me at least, is finding out what that thing is and if it's out of reach how to soothe myself. That's a tuffy.

I have actually been known to stamp my feet like a child when something wasn't going my way.

Water helps. Not a bath, but just being around moving water. I migrate to lakes, rivers, sometimes just a little stream. It helps me to visualize "washing it away and out of me".

In fact, I am overdue for a trip to the ocean.

Just an idea. Remember it's not a bad thing to be mad. Just try not to kick in the dishwasher.

Love ya HF

Maddie

 

Re: well, according to homer simpson...

Posted by fairywings on May 8, 2006, at 23:11:07

In reply to well, according to homer simpson..., posted by madeline on May 8, 2006, at 20:29:23

(((HF)))

maddie, you're so on target with what I experience too. And the homer simpson thing was too funny.

Recently I realized what I thought was anger was hurt, but it came out as anger because there were things I couldn't express because of shame, pride....whatever. But, that's just me, I don't know if it's typical. And yep, that foot stompin' - right on target. (arms crossed in front of me, lip sticking out, furrowed brow - just like our toddler!) How can I be a mom, and feel like such a baby? I can't seem to be able to self soothe, so it comes out in tantrums, and then I regret it.

HF, I hope you can treat yourself to something really nice. You deserve it, you know? As for the kids - kick 'em out of the house when they argue - you don't need that aggravation!

I"m with madeline, a trip to the ocean w/o the family......maybe with a girlfriend? (not trying to hint at anything.....; )) But it sure sounds good! ; )

fw


 

Re: What do you do with so much anger inside? happyflower

Posted by Daisym on May 9, 2006, at 1:42:38

In reply to What do you do with so much anger inside?, posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 19:53:37

I'd like to suggest to you something I find very hard to do. Stop running, working out, cleaning, gardening, etc. etc. etc. -- and just be angry. Maybe you can't just "get it out." Maybe - you have to hold if for awhile.


I find this to be very scary. It is "easier" for me to give away my anger and let someone else be twice as angry. For me to be upset, ligitimate or not, is horrible. I'm afraid my anger will hurt another, and it feels terrible to me too. So I run from mine, work a billion hours, or pretend like it isn't there.

What I've found helps, is for me to slow down and write down what I'm feeling and why. And the writing itself is helpful. I can bang the key board if I want but I'm express the anger, not channeling it or stopping it. And I know I can't hurt paper! Under all this anger there might be grief. But for right now it is Ok to be angry, and to allow yourself to feel it. Exhausting yourself won't work forever. I've tried, believe me.

Good luck with this. It isn't easy.

 

Re: What do you do with so much anger inside?

Posted by antigua on May 9, 2006, at 8:21:54

In reply to What do you do with so much anger inside?, posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 19:53:37

well, I took a soft baseball bat and beat it against a wire fence (so I wouldn't hurt anything but my arem) until I was exhausted. I don't know how to release my anger in therapy, but I've found other ways to release it. I felt great afterwards, except for my arm, but I recovered.
best,
antigua

 

Re: well, according to homer simpson... madeline

Posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:48:03

In reply to well, according to homer simpson..., posted by madeline on May 8, 2006, at 20:29:23


> "Take your anger and squeeze it into a tight little ball, and then release it at an inappropriate time. Remember when daddy hit that referee with the whiskey bottle? Hmm? Yeah..."

If I did that it would create a nuclear bomb! LOL

> Seriously, anger is not a bad emotion, I think as you have already demonstrated, it can be very motivating and constructive. But, to me, anger always indicates that I'm not getting something that I really really want.

This is so true and it is so frusterating. It is hard to live in a marriage without love.
>
Thanks for your support Maddie, and by the way, have you "done" the younger man yet ? LOL Now that is what I NEED! (that might get out some frusteration) LOL

 

Re: well, according to homer simpson... fairywings

Posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:50:18

In reply to Re: well, according to homer simpson..., posted by fairywings on May 8, 2006, at 23:11:07

Fairywings,

> I"m with madeline, a trip to the ocean w/o the family......maybe with a girlfriend? (not trying to hint at anything.....; )) But it sure sounds good! ; )


Lets go! Anytime, just name the date! I am afraid we would have so much fun we wouldn't ever go back home! ;-)

 

Re: What do you do with so much anger inside? Daisym

Posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:52:51

In reply to Re: What do you do with so much anger inside? happyflower, posted by Daisym on May 9, 2006, at 1:42:38

Maybe I should try that, just let myself sit with it for awhile because trying to work it out to phsicall exhustion isn't working anymore.

You are probably right about the grief, I was feeling that last week, now it is intense anger. I also need to start writing again, thanks Daisy. How are you lately ?

 

Re: What do you do with so much anger inside? antigua

Posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:54:37

In reply to Re: What do you do with so much anger inside?, posted by antigua on May 9, 2006, at 8:21:54

Thanks Antigua,
With all the anger i have it probably wouldn't be a good idea if I had a "weapon " on me especially since my DUMB husband is around the house more. LOL

 

Re: well, according to homer simpson... happyflower

Posted by madeline on May 9, 2006, at 18:26:56

In reply to Re: well, according to homer simpson... madeline, posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:48:03

(sheepish grin).

He's in Africa for a stint studying some bird or something, but I'll keep you posted. He'll be back mid-may.

Wow, he is SUCH a little hotty pototty (fanning myself now)

kiss kiss
Maddie


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