Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 640592

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Wandering if I should change therapists

Posted by happyflower on May 6, 2006, at 11:54:56

I feel bad about this last session, I made him feel bad, I don't know if we will be able to get past this.
I am wondering if it would be better to get another therapist who can help me with my remaining stuff and who can help me get over the feelings about my T.
It is hard because I know I do good work with my T , but it feels like a double edged sword because it is going to hurt like hell to terminate. I just wonder if it would hurt less now than maybe later. Maybe I am overreacting about this. I just feel sad about this .

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower

Posted by fairywings on May 6, 2006, at 14:18:28

In reply to Wandering if I should change therapists, posted by happyflower on May 6, 2006, at 11:54:56

Do you wonder though if you'd get attached to another T, and then you'd have the pain of this break, and later the pain of terminating with another?

You said he was hurt, but it sounds like you feel pretty bad too. I hope it doesn't cloud everything right now. When's your next appt?

fw

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower

Posted by canadagirl on May 6, 2006, at 17:29:48

In reply to Wandering if I should change therapists, posted by happyflower on May 6, 2006, at 11:54:56

>>> I feel bad about this last session, I made him feel bad, I don't know if we will be able to get past this. <<<
I think you will. I think from what you have written that he does like you very much and values you as a client, and also as a person. We have to remember, we are only human and so are our counsellors/therapists. We can work things out. We aren't 100% perfect in dealing with everything and neither are they.

>> > I am wondering if it would be better to get another therapist who can help me with my remaining stuff and who can help me get over the feelings about my T. <<<
If I were you, I would hang onto this one. Sounds like he can handle it. He will deal with it appropriately, I am sure, and not take "offense".

>>> It is hard because I know I do good work with my T , but it feels like a double edged sword because it is going to hurt like hell to terminate.<<<<
Yes it will hurt. But you can and will get through it.

>> I just wonder if it would hurt less now than maybe later. <<
Probably not, and you would feel you had "unfinished business". Just my two cents. (and I am one to speak, still putting flowers on the grave (mentally) of my "termination"...and not just flowers but an entire wreath with roses, lilies, forget-me-nots, etc. Sigh.)

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower

Posted by wishingstar on May 6, 2006, at 20:31:53

In reply to Wandering if I should change therapists, posted by happyflower on May 6, 2006, at 11:54:56

I have to agree with canadagirl.. I think you should stay, at least for awhile. Everything you've said in the past makes it sound like he is a skilled therapist, even if his boundaries got a little too mushy.. so I'd guess he'll be able to handle this just fine. I think his reaction when you first told him was probably his issues coming out.. defensiveness, anger at himself, something like that.. but I bet he has gotten that part in check by now. At least give it another few sessions. Sometimes when things are really uncomfortable in therapy and I want to quit, I try to tell myself that it's just a different kind of therapy.. learning to deal with things like that in a fairly safe space. I dont always believe it at the time, but I do right now. But anyway, I know it's hurting right now.. but I do think you both can make it through this. If after a few more sessions things dont seem to have become any more comfortable, then maybe revisit the issue.. but for now, I'd say wait and see what happens. I'm hoping for the best for you. :)

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists fairywings

Posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 13:56:23

In reply to Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower, posted by fairywings on May 6, 2006, at 14:18:28

Thanks FW,

My next appointment is next week on Thursday. My moods have been up and down (which might be normal for this time of the month), but I find myself crying at the dumbest things.

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists canadagirl

Posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 13:59:29

In reply to Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower, posted by canadagirl on May 6, 2006, at 17:29:48

Thanks Canadagirl,

I plan on sticking with him, we have been together for 1 1/2 years now, so I guess things can happen especially since we work so close.

I still bad, I feel like I just cut off the foot of the one person who seems to care, and then I go tell them not to treat me like a friend when that is what I really need right now.

 

Re: Wandering if I should change therapists wishingstar

Posted by happyflower on May 8, 2006, at 14:08:56

In reply to Re: Wandering if I should change therapists happyflower, posted by wishingstar on May 6, 2006, at 20:31:53

Thanks wishingstar ( I just love your name)

I am going to stick with my T for now, I should at least give him a chance to redeem himself plus we have worked well together for a long time. I still feel angry when he said not to talk to him, I do regret telling him that he sucks. At least in a personal relationship, you can try to at least talk to the other person, but this case I have to wait 2 weeks. I hope things will work out. Thanks for your support.


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