Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 615841

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No Meaning

Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 11:38:51

There's no meaning to anything but the meaning we give it.
Giving meaning to the wrong things, can wreck a life.
Choosing the things to give meaning to, for the better, is freedom. Does that make sense? Only when you're living it. Only when you're living within that reality ... closing off your true connection with yourself, is unhappiness. The ones you feel the most anger to, are the ones who are most important to you, the ones who can help you resolve the best ... does this make any sense? Let's work on it, let's not forget who we are.
I've been talking to my brother. My brother, who I thought was unbalanced, is a soulmate I never knew I had. I love him; he feels like the other half of myself, in a way. I can bring my family back together, my son, whom I was keeping from happiness with my selfishness. Who has an incredible life ahead of him, who is well on the way to all the happiness he deserves ..
May this last. May the peace continue to grow.
Forgive the sound of this, the holiness in which it is written. It is a frame of mind. One I desire to have. To keep.

 

Hah! *Poss Trigger*

Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 12:13:14

In reply to No Meaning, posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 11:38:51

.. did you know that a parent can split a child, not just into two, but into several different pieces, and those pieces are all bloody, and somehow, on some level, the parent can take comfort and yes, even pleasure, in that inflicted pain
not knowing on any level other than the deepest one, the level that makes him hate himself, that he is doing this to his family.
His family, that is an extension of himself, an entity he is creating, but not out of love .. out of other things. Things he needs within himself, things a broken soul needs in order to feel right, for this moment ...
It's called splitting. Garnering the loyalty and (perceived) love of others by separating them from each other
How hateful. How rude, how insensitive
How brokenly human, how sad to be his victim.
So many wasted years.
So much pain, lost opportunity, years of unshed tears turned to a living writhing mass of insecure humanity ..
your legacy dies here, old man.
Heal thyself, you bastard, but leave me alone.
From here on in, you have no piece of my heart but the one you earn.
I give you credit for those things you have tried to atone for,
in your own way,
making sure you always have your claw firmly squeezing the life out of any thankfulness the receiver might have felt.
However, you did these things thinking they were right.
Working it out, in your mind, trying to get your heart involved,
knowing that at some level, your heart is bigger than anyone's ...
the claw of fear may be loosened yet, and none too soon,
for we all die one day, old man.
I do not look forward to your dying; it will be one more moment of centrality for you. I pray it is quick, but I fear it won't be. I fear you will be the one, you who always prided yourself on your intimate knowledge of death, your laughing in the face of the what-will-never-be reality of death ...
you will be the one who will claw for your last breath.

 

Re: Hah! *Poss Trigger* Susan47

Posted by JenStar on March 4, 2006, at 19:06:20

In reply to Hah! *Poss Trigger*, posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 12:13:14

Susan,
as always, your writing is powerful and your words are poetic, even when (or especially when?) dealing with such hard topics.

I really think you are a poet at heart.
I'm sorry to hear such pain in your posts.

Take care of yourself.
JenStar

 

WOW Susan

Posted by Tanzanite on March 5, 2006, at 0:19:46

In reply to No Meaning, posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 11:38:51

Both of these writings really hit home. Coming from the family I did, and dealing with what I am going through now. What expression, the first a wonderful discovery, the second the expression and power of the words. I may be wrong but such writings can be very revealing, self validating, and give us a sense of "I cannot think of the word" My poor mind lol. Thank you for writing this. Peace and I hope you are doing well and continue to grow.
Tanzanite

 

Re: WOW Susan Tanzanite

Posted by Susan47 on March 5, 2006, at 12:04:59

In reply to WOW Susan, posted by Tanzanite on March 5, 2006, at 0:19:46

Tanzanite, thanks and yeah, my poor mind too. St-rrr----e-tc-hhhhh ... choke. Die. Why are these days so torturous? Why????? WHY?

 

(((SUSAN)))

Posted by Tanzanite on March 5, 2006, at 12:56:07

In reply to Re: WOW Susan Tanzanite, posted by Susan47 on March 5, 2006, at 12:04:59

I hope the days get easier for you as time goes by. In my thoughts an prayers.
Tanzanite

 

Re: Hah! *Poss Trigger*

Posted by B2chica on March 6, 2006, at 10:33:27

In reply to Hah! *Poss Trigger*, posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2006, at 12:13:14

you should post this on the writing board. i think it's a wonderful expression of you feelings and thoughts.
b2c.


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