Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 568832

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words for abuse...

Posted by B2chica on October 19, 2005, at 11:49:02

do you ever wonder how your T words your 'issues' (abuse) to others?
my T is going to tell my pdoc (no he hasn't yet, can't get in touch with eachother due to schedules.)
anyway, my T asked me why it would be better if he told rather than me, and i told him 1.i'd be too ashamed and humiliated and embarrased and 2.i wouldn't know how to word it.

so he's going to and then call me when he does. yes i'm still waiting for that phone call.
anyway, now i'm wondering exactly how much detail he's going to tell him. how's he going to word it?

do any of you wonder how someone else (you T or pdoc) see your issues or how they would put them into words?

b2c.

 

Re: words for abuse... Ľ B2chica

Posted by orchid on October 19, 2005, at 12:09:38

In reply to words for abuse..., posted by B2chica on October 19, 2005, at 11:49:02

I think it would be highly in a professional tone and medical terms.

Nothing you need to be embarassed about.

 

Re: words for abuse... Ľ B2chica

Posted by JenStar on October 19, 2005, at 13:56:21

In reply to words for abuse..., posted by B2chica on October 19, 2005, at 11:49:02

hi B2,
I agree with Orchid. I'm sure he'll use professional language, and both of them will treat the topic and your suffering with the utmost respect.

If you feel up to it, do you think you could ask him, in a future session, how he worded it? If you learn what words he used, it might help you to be able to describe it to him or other doctors in the future without feeling embarrassed about the words.

Of course the topics themselves are probably scary and full of terrible memories...perhaps there are no words in the world that could make it easier to talk about the subject of abuse.

I hope it goes well. Please tell us what happens.

take care!
JenStar

 

Re: words for abuse...

Posted by Racer on October 19, 2005, at 14:13:20

In reply to Re: words for abuse... Ľ B2chica, posted by JenStar on October 19, 2005, at 13:56:21

Not only do I agree that your T will likely communicate on a professional level with your pdoc, I would bet that they won't have to discuss many details while doing so.

I know it's got to be hard, and there are times when I would be totally mortified to think that my T and pdoc were discussing me, but you know what? Those were times when there was something really wrong with my relationships with each of them. (I'm thinking Agency From You-Know-Where) Right now, I do trust my T very much, and so I trust her to communicate in a way that is not only professional, but also protective of me. I mostly trust my pdoc, and I do trust that he will always be professional, and I trust that he will communicate fairly towards me, and I even mostly trust that he will think fairly towards me. Therefore, I'm mostly frustrated that they haven't been able to connect with one another to discuss me. Back in the Nightmare Days, though, I didn't trust either of them enough to feel secure with them discussing me.

OK, I got long again. Sorry. My point was that, if you're really freaked out about this communication between them, it's probably worth examining why you're so anxious about it. Is it because you distrust one or the other of them? Or is it just because you have such a habit of shame built up around your issues? That's worth discussing in therapy, in my not nearly humble enough opinion. The other suggestion I have, though, is to echo JenStar -- can you bring yourself to ask your T what was said and how it was framed? Doing so might not only ease your mind, but it might give you some perspective. Could be that, when you hear how they framed it, you'll see your situation in a way that doesn't seem so shameful, maybe even in a way that can allow you to feel some sympathy for yourself. Worth a try, right?

Best luck with this.

 

Re: words for abuse...

Posted by daisym on October 19, 2005, at 15:21:16

In reply to Re: words for abuse..., posted by Racer on October 19, 2005, at 14:13:20

I want to throw in a caution here...

I agree that both will most likely communicate in professional terms, using jargon, short-hand and few details. And I think is really important that you ask what was said.

But prepare yourself just a little for it to feel somewhat harsh and detached. I can only speak for myself but I was a little shocked to hear that things that happened to me were "severe", that my depression was "major" and that my current stressors were "enormous." It wasn't that I disagreed, I just never thought about stuff like that. I feel silly saying "I thought I only had a little bit of abuse, but..." I've talked about that recently here and in therapy.

I hope he calls soon. It sounds very stressful.

 

Re: words for abuse... Ľ B2chica

Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 19:15:05

In reply to words for abuse..., posted by B2chica on October 19, 2005, at 11:49:02

I agree with others that they will use professional language.

But I think you raise a very interesting point that goes beyond the discussion between your T and your p-doc. It seems to me that giving it all a vocabulary is a very difficult matter. And itís something each person has to work out with their therapist when discussing abuse. So itís true that he might use a certain kind of professional language when talking to your p-doc, but itís also important that you feel you can find words that work for you when you talk about it with your T.

Tamar


 

Re: words for abuse... Ľ B2chica

Posted by fairywings on October 20, 2005, at 9:03:11

In reply to words for abuse..., posted by B2chica on October 19, 2005, at 11:49:02

> do you ever wonder how your T words your 'issues' (abuse) to others?

I think, from what you've said, your T is very thoughtful and caring, knows how concerned you are about how things get communicated, and will be sensitive to that.


> anyway, my T asked me why it would be better if he told rather than me, and i told him 1.i'd be too ashamed and humiliated and embarrased and

And it would probably be hard to have to go through it all over again w/yet another person, even if it is your p-doc and even if you know he cares.


> so he's going to and then call me when he does. yes i'm still waiting for that phone call.

The waiting would be hard. I agree with everyone else, you need to know what's said, and it will give you some insight into maybe another way your T looks at your issues - using the more technical jargon. daisy's right, it might seem harsh, but try to see how much they care and want to help you feel better.

((hugs))
fw


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