Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 548702

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

sex talk and T's gender...

Posted by B2chica on August 30, 2005, at 12:15:27

crushedout's post above made me think of something. i have a guy T and we've Definately talked about sex issues and i'm quite comfortable with that now. however i KNOW i can't open up to women (many issues there) but i can't even THINK about discussing sex with a female therapist...does anyone else feel that way?
and incase there are newbies reading i am female myself.

my only guess is two things 1)my mothers attitude growing up about sex (she was almost puritanical about it and 2)that i do have trust issues with women, and maybe fear of being judged.

i think i may write this down and take it to T on thurs. maybe it's something we should discuss. when he talked about my transitioning to another T there is one male and one female he mentioned, and he said he'd really like to see me have a relationship work with a female therapist. (i thought alot about that last night and i'd just be to hindered of really talking about deep issues also i'd probably be on guard or worse get prevoked and end up telling her off). i guess that's another issue for you babblers.

b2c.

 

Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica

Posted by Annierose on August 30, 2005, at 17:12:58

In reply to sex talk and T's gender..., posted by B2chica on August 30, 2005, at 12:15:27

Hi -

I'm a straight, married female (sounds like a singles ad) that has a female T. I have talked to her about sex. It is uncomfortable, but I don't think I would feel more comfortable with a male T. Describing intimate details of my sex life with anybody is embarrassing. My T's comfort level with the topic helps; I know anything I say wouldn't surprise her. Her sense of humor helps me get the words out sometimes ... the conversation resembles a guessing game. "Are you saying that he likes .....?" ... "Or would you rather have sex ...." "too rough? not rough enough? (that cracked me up)"

Not sure that answers your question. I think what I'm trying to say, it's the therapist that can either help or hinder this topic. Mine definitely helps, and sex is an issue for me too.

I'm glad I found the courage within myself to broach this topic (babblers helped me big time).

 

No help here, equally horrified talking to anybody (nm) B2chica

Posted by Poet on August 30, 2005, at 18:59:00

In reply to sex talk and T's gender..., posted by B2chica on August 30, 2005, at 12:15:27

 

I'm w/ Poet! ;) (nm)

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 30, 2005, at 21:31:56

In reply to No help here, equally horrified talking to anybody (nm) B2chica, posted by Poet on August 30, 2005, at 18:59:00

 

i third that. i'm too ashamed to talk about sex. (nm)

Posted by ghost on August 30, 2005, at 22:15:43

In reply to Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica, posted by Annierose on August 30, 2005, at 17:12:58

 

what is sex? (nm)

Posted by sleepygirl on August 30, 2005, at 23:03:14

In reply to sex talk and T's gender..., posted by B2chica on August 30, 2005, at 12:15:27

 

It's what other people are getting (nm) sleepygirl

Posted by Damos on August 30, 2005, at 23:14:15

In reply to what is sex? (nm), posted by sleepygirl on August 30, 2005, at 23:03:14

 

Oh, you. Complain, complain. Poor baby ;-) Damos

Posted by 10derHeart on August 30, 2005, at 23:43:18

In reply to It's what other people are getting (nm) sleepygirl, posted by Damos on August 30, 2005, at 23:14:15

Poor, deprived Damos. Gee, I see a pattern with you and this subject lately...hmmm {scratches chin, trying appear like a female Freud...}

Now, keep it Psychological here, people! :-)

I'd help by telling a story about some T. fantasy I've had...but...oh, never mind.....

[a female Freud???!!! Eeeewww, creepy!]

 

Re: i won't talk about that either... (nm)

Posted by alexandra_k on August 31, 2005, at 6:32:54

In reply to Oh, you. Complain, complain. Poor baby ;-) Damos, posted by 10derHeart on August 30, 2005, at 23:43:18

 

Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica

Posted by fairywings on August 31, 2005, at 13:22:31

In reply to sex talk and T's gender..., posted by B2chica on August 30, 2005, at 12:15:27


First of all, I said on my latest post that you, B2 talked about a sexual history, sorry that was crushed.
I guess for me talking about sex and my comfort level depends on who I'm talking to. I feel comfortable if the person I'm talking to is comfortable with it. I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be with explicit details since it hasn't come up yet with this T. With the last T I know it wouldn't have been any problem at all. I was comfortable on the topic of sex with him. I'm fine with it with my p-doc, he's also male. I talked to my kids T, who's female. I've talked to my female friends, and I'm more comfortable with talking about it than my husband is.

I agree that talking about certain things has to do with your relationship with your primary parent. I also agree to that I'd rather have a male T, but I love my kids T and she's female. I just feel like it's a warmer relationship with a man, and also I feel like most of my problems were with my dad, and men in general, so I should try to "work it out" with a male T. Does that make any sense at all, or am I rationalizing?

I guess if you need to learn to tell someone off, then going to a female T might be good. Maybe finding out that you can open up and develop a relationship with a female T is good?
fw

 

Re: sex talk and T's gender... fairywings

Posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:30:53

In reply to Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica, posted by fairywings on August 31, 2005, at 13:22:31


> I agree that talking about certain things has to do with your relationship with your primary parent. I also agree to that I'd rather have a male T, but I love my kids T and she's female. I just feel like it's a warmer relationship with a man, and also I feel like most of my problems were with my dad, and men in general, so I should try to "work it out" with a male T. Does that make any sense at all, or am I rationalizing?

no,, your not rationalizing. you make perfect sense about 'working it out' with a male T for you. that's exactly what my T said to me about a female T. i just feel so much more comfortable with male T. i guess growing up mostly ive always had male friends.


> I guess if you need to learn to tell someone off, then going to a female T might be good. Maybe finding out that you can open up and develop a relationship with a female T is good?
> fw

ya but i'm really scared to make that jump. i just don't know if i'm ready. i guess i don't worry about getting mad with a male cuz those that i've met i know can 'handle' it. i'm worried that a female will misunderstand me (as i'm used to) and take it personally or even worse become afraid of me. i have so much anger inside, i'm just afraid that if i don't have the right guidance it will just explode and you know what will hit the fan.

thanks for your advice.
b2c.

 

Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica

Posted by fairywings on September 1, 2005, at 10:52:12

In reply to Re: sex talk and T's gender... fairywings, posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:30:53


>
> ya but i'm really scared to make that jump. i just don't know if i'm ready. i guess i don't worry about getting mad with a male cuz those that i've met i know can 'handle' it. i'm worried that a female will misunderstand me (as i'm used to) and take it personally or even worse become afraid of me. i have so much anger inside, i'm just afraid that if i don't have the right guidance it will just explode and you know what will hit the fan.

Wow B2, this is just what i said to my new T last week, i have SO much anger inside. i don't want to work with a female either. i'd stick with a male, why go to someone you don't want to work with? what's the point?
fw

 

Re: sex talk and T's gender... fairywings

Posted by B2chica on September 1, 2005, at 10:55:53

In reply to Re: sex talk and T's gender... B2chica, posted by fairywings on September 1, 2005, at 10:52:12


> Wow B2, this is just what i said to my new T last week, i have SO much anger inside. i don't want to work with a female either. i'd stick with a male, why go to someone you don't want to work with? what's the point?
> fw


thanks for the support fw....me too.


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