Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 542254

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Re: Silly question :-) Shortelise

Posted by All Done on August 19, 2005, at 2:31:55

In reply to Re: Silly question :-) All Done, posted by Shortelise on August 18, 2005, at 0:59:01

> Or you could deny it. No, I've always had brown hair, doc. And look at him strangely.
>
> Oh, I feel evil.
>
> `. -)

You are too funny, ShortE!! I wish I could pull that off, but I know I'd burst into laughter.

 

So, Did you tell him? All Done

Posted by daisym on August 22, 2005, at 0:26:13

In reply to Re: Silly question :-) Shortelise, posted by All Done on August 19, 2005, at 2:31:55

I've been lurking, reading this thread with a smile. Once in a blue moon my therapist will comment on what I'm wearing, very dressed up or very dressed down. I once threatened to come in my pjs and he said that would be fine, but wear slippers. :)

If you told him, what did he say?

 

Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but...

Posted by All Done on August 23, 2005, at 16:50:37

In reply to So, Did you tell him? All Done, posted by daisym on August 22, 2005, at 0:26:13

my hair appointment isn't until this coming Saturday. Right after my next session. So, I still have one session left to tell him, if that's what I decide to do.

See how I obsess about these little things? It's been weeks!

This last session was filled with other - dare I say, more important - things to talk about. It never even crossed my mind to discuss my hair. So, I'm leaning toward not telling him.

One of the things we've talked about in more depth is Babble and whether or not he reads or is curious to read. So, maybe this is all a moot point and he already knows ;).

 

Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but... All Done

Posted by daisym on August 23, 2005, at 17:09:18

In reply to Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but..., posted by All Done on August 23, 2005, at 16:50:37

Thanks for the update. So did he say he reads? I find that my therapist is very open to asking about the board, but I don't refer to it by name. I've never asked him not to read but I guess I don't want him to. Today he said, "are you getting flack from the board about coming so much?" I laughed and told him no, just the opposite.

Sounds like a good session. Keep us posted.

 

Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but... All Done

Posted by Dinah on August 23, 2005, at 17:45:11

In reply to Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but..., posted by All Done on August 23, 2005, at 16:50:37

You didn't make him cross his heart and swear to stick a needle in his eye if he read?

A serious ommission. :D

 

Re: Therapists and Babble daisym

Posted by All Done on August 24, 2005, at 0:44:53

In reply to Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but... All Done, posted by daisym on August 23, 2005, at 17:09:18

> Thanks for the update. So did he say he reads? I find that my therapist is very open to asking about the board, but I don't refer to it by name. I've never asked him not to read but I guess I don't want him to. Today he said, "are you getting flack from the board about coming so much?" I laughed and told him no, just the opposite.
>
> Sounds like a good session. Keep us posted.

LOL, Daisy. No doubt that your T doesn't read.

Since I wouldn't tell my T the address of Babble (even though he asked), we kind of played a guessing game to see if he even knew about the site. He guessed wrong and then told me he didn't think he's ever come across this place.

He asked if I felt like I wanted him to read. That's when we talked about me wanting him to be curious enough to read, but not necessarily to *actually* read. I hinted at a lot of the stuff that would make me uneasy about him reading, though. Like I said that I like to kind of have fun with erotic transference sometimes. I came so close to telling him I call him Beefcake here.

All in all, I think it would be quite interesting if he read. Problem is, I don't think we'd have enough time to discuss everything.

 

Re: You are too funny, Dinah :-) (nm)

Posted by All Done on August 24, 2005, at 0:46:39

In reply to Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but... All Done, posted by Dinah on August 23, 2005, at 17:45:11

 

Re: Therapists and Babble All Done

Posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2005, at 16:13:02

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble daisym, posted by All Done on August 24, 2005, at 0:44:53

I talk about Babble quite a lot. About the issues I bring here. And the helpful things people say. And about whether I'm upset with something thats happening on the boards or whatever. To start with I think she thought it was rather bizarre and she seemed sort of disaproving. But I persisted. And now she seems fine about it. Realising how helpful it is to me.

I actually sent her an email this week... Said people here vary with respect to how they feel about their t's reading... Said that I felt a bit divided about it... But that I'd prefer to know she was reading rather than not know. She responded:

>I dont have any intention of going on the boards Id never find the time!

And I realised... That that is a HUGE relief to me. Though part of me wonders whether she has been reading and whether she realises that if I know she reads then I might not talk about certain things over here... Yeah, I think the 'stick a needle in your eye' promise has something to recommend it!

 

Re: Therapists and Babble

Posted by daisym on August 24, 2005, at 23:48:46

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble All Done, posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2005, at 16:13:02

We talked a little more about this today. I told him we even have a few therapists in training, or near done with training here. He was surprised at that but then asked if I thought they could "hear" different points of view from their training. I said absolutely. :) I told him that attachment was one of the most common topics and he thought that was really interesting too. I still didn't say the name and I didn't ask him to not read either. I guess I don't want to have the "why not" conversation.

I was tempted to tell him that you guys approve of him but I didn't do that either. Overall he said he was glad I felt connected and supported here. I'm glad too!

 

Re: Therapists and Babble alexandra_k

Posted by All Done on August 27, 2005, at 23:45:24

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble All Done, posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2005, at 16:13:02

> I talk about Babble quite a lot. About the issues I bring here. And the helpful things people say. And about whether I'm upset with something thats happening on the boards or whatever. To start with I think she thought it was rather bizarre and she seemed sort of disaproving. But I persisted. And now she seems fine about it. Realising how helpful it is to me.
>
> I actually sent her an email this week... Said people here vary with respect to how they feel about their t's reading... Said that I felt a bit divided about it... But that I'd prefer to know she was reading rather than not know. She responded:
>
> >I dont have any intention of going on the boards Id never find the time!
>
> And I realised... That that is a HUGE relief to me. Though part of me wonders whether she has been reading and whether she realises that if I know she reads then I might not talk about certain things over here... Yeah, I think the 'stick a needle in your eye' promise has something to recommend it!
>

I just can't decide if I want to make my T promise not to read or not. I'm pretty sure I've piqued his curiosity, so it would be hard for me to make him promise. I think maybe I should just make him promise to tell me if he starts reading, otherwise I'm just always going to wonder. And I can't imagine he wants me asking him about it week after week.

 

Re: Therapists and Babble daisym

Posted by All Done on August 27, 2005, at 23:53:29

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble, posted by daisym on August 24, 2005, at 23:48:46

> We talked a little more about this today. I told him we even have a few therapists in training, or near done with training here. He was surprised at that but then asked if I thought they could "hear" different points of view from their training. I said absolutely. :) I told him that attachment was one of the most common topics and he thought that was really interesting too. I still didn't say the name and I didn't ask him to not read either. I guess I don't want to have the "why not" conversation.
>
> I was tempted to tell him that you guys approve of him but I didn't do that either. Overall he said he was glad I felt connected and supported here. I'm glad too!

Mine was surprised to hear that there are therapists in training here, too. I'm surprised there aren't more. What better way to learn and understand your clients? Maybe they're just lurking?

You better tell your T how much we approve of him so he can start preparing for his "How to be a Great Therapist" seminar. ;)

 

Re: I'm brunette

Posted by All Done on August 28, 2005, at 0:09:36

In reply to Re: Sorry to keep you guys hanging, but..., posted by All Done on August 23, 2005, at 16:50:37

and I didn't tell him what's coming. I'm guessing I'm going to get a non-reaction, but if I do get one, I want it to be real. Well, I *think* that's what I want. You know, if it's a good reaction ;).

One good thing, not much longer to wait. I had to reschedule my next session from Saturday to this Wednesday evening.

For those of you keeping track, I like the change. I wish it was a little darker. It's kind of caramel and I wanted chocolate. (Yes, it *is* all about candy.) My colorist wouldn't go darker yet, though. She said it was a big change and if I didn't like it, it would be easier to get back to blonde. She'll go darker next time, if that's what I still want. That's what I'll still want :).

 

Re: I'm brunette All Done

Posted by Annierose on August 28, 2005, at 7:31:40

In reply to Re: I'm brunette, posted by All Done on August 28, 2005, at 0:09:36

I bet it looks fabulous! What were the reactions of the main men in your life?

Can you post a photo on the birthday/anniversary page?

 

Re: I'm brunette All Done

Posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2005, at 11:07:20

In reply to Re: I'm brunette, posted by All Done on August 28, 2005, at 0:09:36

Yes, it IS all about candy. Chocolate is better than caramel...

What was your son's reaction?

Please post when you get home from your therapy appointment on Wednesday!

 

Re: Therapists and Babble and caring

Posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 13:46:15

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble All Done, posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2005, at 16:13:02

Hi. a few times i told my T about babble and about other places that i post and he said that he doesn't have time to read either.

If i become upset by something said against me at the forum- or something i don't agree with T will take the side against me.
It gets me so angry with T how he doesn't take my side so many times-- he said "If enough people say something (about me) than it's probably true."
It's really hard when you have parts inside that don't take my side either.

A support group is supposed to be supportive and here it really is for the most part- very supportive compared to other boards- where they try to 'fix' what they see wrong with you. All they have to work with is the viewpoint of one or two of your parts besides.. What a mess.

i think my T did read here though because last week he said things out of the blue like, i really care about you- not just like a job- like my job caring for plant material- i wouldn't care that much if i lost a couple of plants but if he lost a couple of patients..something like that.
i asked if he had favorite patients.
he said No - every one is different. A parent cares about every child the same. T's caring is Less than a parent and more than just a job. T cares 'Inbetween.'

kerria
just a plant

 

A lovely and resilient plant kerria

Posted by gardenergirl on August 28, 2005, at 15:42:13

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble and caring, posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 13:46:15

With bright and sunny yellow flowers.

((((kerria))))

gg

 

Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria

Posted by Pfinstegg on August 28, 2005, at 16:23:42

In reply to A lovely and resilient plant kerria, posted by gardenergirl on August 28, 2005, at 15:42:13

And it sounds like he really does care- about you as a person. Think that when all the parts get together more, what a wonderful, interesting person you will be! I think he knows that. Some of the earlier, less positive messages from him- it's so hard to say how much weight to put on them. He sounds very supportive and committed to you now.

 

Re: A lovely and resilient plant gardenergirl

Posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 16:37:16

In reply to A lovely and resilient plant kerria, posted by gardenergirl on August 28, 2005, at 15:42:13

Thank you, (((((((gardenergirl)))))))

love,
kerria

 

Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria Pfinstegg

Posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 23:42:31

In reply to Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria, posted by Pfinstegg on August 28, 2005, at 16:23:42

Hi Pfinstegg,

Thank you so much for your positive words. Yes, i think my T really cares and has hope we can get better.

i think T stays the same in his beliefs but parts see him in different ways. He does get angry though and there have been some very hard times with T in the past, times that i still don't understand why he acted as he did. It had a lasting negative effect on my ability to trust him. i try not to think of those times.

Once - about two years ago, i did try to leave him. i was successful in leaving for a month. Then my little ones inside went back ONE time to say 'goodbye' to T1 and the new T terminated me as a patient. i came home from work one day to find a letter from T2 saying that i was no longer his patient- he would have nothing to do with me- and sent copies to T1 and my psychiatrist. we were devastated. i couldn't even receive the letter. i mailed it back to him because i was so upset. There was no warning.
see- i can't leave.

i think that it was all for the best but i feel that T2 was heartless to just send an impersonal letter after all the struggle of therapy with a new T . Why wouldn't he understand that i needed to say 'good bye' once?

Some people think that persons with severe dissociative disorders don't hurt the same as 'real ' people do.

That therapist- T2 was on the ISSD list. Not the friendliest bunch of people i've found - that's my experience.

There are some therapists and drs that treat persons with DID as sub-human. They will cover their true beliefs with language like "We must, to do our best work, (?) recognize our limitations as therapists... etc, "

Some at the top of that organization think that some with DID are incurable and don't think that time should be wasted trying to treat them. There's so much arrogance between the lines on some of the writing on their website. TRIGGER- It hurts to read there.

At least my T is hopeful that there's a possibility that we can get better, thankfully.

Take care, Pfinstegg.
Thank you,
kerria

 

Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria

Posted by Pfinstegg on August 29, 2005, at 0:06:31

In reply to Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria Pfinstegg, posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 23:42:31

Yes. I think dissociative disorders are among the most painful things one can have, and you deserve complete respect for your courageous struggles, and your commitment to getting better. You can, too- other people have done it. If your T. did make some errors by getting angry under some sort of stress, it doesn't sound like the main way he is with you most of the time. You did say that your parts do trust him, and will talk to him- what a good beginning. As you are becoming more aware of your parts, so that you know simultaneously about more than one, it will probably get a lot easier to experience your T. as very caring and skillful. I hope that's what happens. There are so many rapid ups and downs with DID that the hardest thing is to maintain hope, and a sense that you are making progress. Posting frequently here may help, as we may see an overall improvement when it's hard for you to see that yourself. Then, one day, you'll see and know it for yourself and probably won't need to post as much. That has already happened for one poster with DID.

 

Re: p. s. to my last post - untreatable DID

Posted by kerria on August 29, 2005, at 0:34:26

In reply to Re: A lovely and resilient plant kerria Pfinstegg, posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 23:42:31

About the T that terminated me - that i shared about in my previous post- the one that i found on the ISSD website -

i just looked up the ISSD website and he's speaking at their conference in Bali next year.
Not a very kind or caring person at all.

The beliefs that many at the top of that organization hold - that some with DID are untreatable is so troubling because of their huge influence on therapists in the field of treating trauma disorders.

Maybe that's why persons with complex DID like me have a hard time finding therapsts...
and finding hope of ever getting better.

Even if it were possible to get better it would be impossible without a therapist because no one will take the difficult 'cases.'

kerria:(

 

Re: I'm brunette fallsfall and Annierose

Posted by All Done on August 29, 2005, at 1:11:13

In reply to Re: I'm brunette All Done, posted by Annierose on August 28, 2005, at 7:31:40

> I bet it looks fabulous! What were the reactions of the main men in your life?

My husband likes it and doesn't seem too weirded out. :)

When I walked in, my son said (and I quote), "Mommieeeeeeeeee. You look pretty." :)

I'll let you know what Beefcake thinks (or doesn't think, or non-thinks...whatever) as soon as I can after my Wednesday evening session. Does he count as a main man in my life? ;)

> Can you post a photo on the birthday/anniversary page?

Done.

 

Re: Therapists and Babble and caring kerria

Posted by All Done on August 29, 2005, at 1:40:18

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble and caring, posted by kerria on August 28, 2005, at 13:46:15

(((kerria))),

I'm glad you find this place to be a supportive, at least for the most part, and I hope the times you find it to be unsupportive are few and far between.

It must be so hard to have parts that don't take your side. What a struggle. But you are working so hard with your T. And it sounds like he cares regardless of previous missteps on his part. That sounds hopeful to me.

Take care, kerria.

Laurie

 

Re: I'm brunette All Done

Posted by fallsfall on August 29, 2005, at 12:14:11

In reply to Re: I'm brunette fallsfall and Annierose, posted by All Done on August 29, 2005, at 1:11:13

Of course Beefcake counts as a main man in your life!

Will your son give flexibility lessons to my 17 year old daughter???

And he's right - you do look pretty!

 

Re: Therapists and Babble and caring All Done

Posted by kerria on September 6, 2005, at 12:00:25

In reply to Re: Therapists and Babble and caring kerria, posted by All Done on August 29, 2005, at 1:40:18

Thank you, ((((((Laurie))))) safe hugs.

love, kerria


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