Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 511026

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Good for you! (nm) gardenergirl

Posted by fallsfall on June 11, 2005, at 13:49:27

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

 

Hooray! gardenergirl

Posted by Dinah on June 11, 2005, at 14:13:28

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

And at times, screaming banshee is what is called for. :)

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more

Posted by happyflower on June 11, 2005, at 14:48:02

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Good for you! Have you read the Women Who Run with Wolves? It is by the same auther as the Stone Child. It talks about being an authenic women. I am a women hear me roar!

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by partlycloudy on June 11, 2005, at 17:27:47

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

That's great! I'm trying really hard, too. Not to hold my tongue but instead to wait for the right words to come, then deliver them. Otherwise I am very good at swallowing my anger until it expresses as those inconvenient and unstoppable tears of mine.
It feels good like getting a zipper to go up without complaint. it fits.
pc

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more

Posted by annierose on June 11, 2005, at 18:25:05

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

That's great! It's feels powerful to say what you feel and not feel inhibited. Hopefully that feeling will carry over into your therapy sessions, think of the progress you'll make!!

Annierose

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by alexandra_k on June 11, 2005, at 18:29:44

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Yay! Good for you :-)
And maybe... If you start to express the negative emotions a little earlier then that might prevent the screaming banshee ;-)
Thats a hard one though, I struggle with that myself.
Yay. GG's coming out of her shell.


 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by Daisym on June 11, 2005, at 20:25:28

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Is this in or out of therapy? And what...no details? Are we 'spessing at the husband, or the sister?

I think 2x a week makes a difference.

Good for you!
Daisy

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by Aphrodite on June 11, 2005, at 21:40:24

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Details?

I'm glad for you, really glad!

My T seems to have a bias against anger. He tells me that he doesn't think it's a necessary part of healing. He's not a big fan of 'spressing it. Isn't that a bit unusual for a psychologist? Sometimes I get very angry, but I make sure I don't let him know. I'm a control freak over my emotions anyway, so I can do it. Still . . .

What do you think about anger and banshees and all of that as a client and as a professional? Sounds like you think it's healthy. I think it is as long as plates aren't flying. :)

Didn't mean to go off track. I'm curious what has happened to cause this for you.

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by Jazzed on June 11, 2005, at 22:33:22

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Good for you! Hope we can all get there one day.

Jazzed

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by Poet on June 12, 2005, at 12:22:46

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

Hi GG,

If the screaming banshee is letting out negativity, don't try to tone her done, let her loose.

Keep in mind I am good at negative emotions, it's positive ones that allude me. What would the opposite of a banshee be- a fairy godmother? I do have the fairy wand I bought for four year old me...

Go GG, congrats on 'spressing those negative emotions.

Poet

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by JenStar on June 12, 2005, at 13:14:27

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

good for you! I think it's great that you're doing it. I hope it will be helpful for you & the relationship.

How are things with hubby lately? Has he apologized at all about the birthday fiasco? Is he being nicer? (I hope so!)

JenStar

 

I didn't know you *knew* those words! ;^) (nm) gardenergirl

Posted by Racer on June 12, 2005, at 14:14:07

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by pinkeye on June 12, 2005, at 18:35:54

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

great to hear.

I am not very good in expressing negative emotions like anger, rage, hurt, jealousy, possessiveness etc. I tend to swallow it all up and one day burst. I wish I could follow you.

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more

Posted by antigua on June 13, 2005, at 13:32:27

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

I was startld at first because I thought you meant "suppressing" more instead of expressing more. Shows where my mind is.
antigua

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl

Posted by Tamar on June 13, 2005, at 15:42:43

In reply to Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 12:36:32

> This must be a sign of progress towards authenticity. I'm even 'spressing the negative emotions. (well, I suppose I could tone down the screaming banshee, but still...progress?)

Good for you! No need to tone down the screaming banshee, IMHO. Let her scream all she wants.

Tamar

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more rubenstein

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:02:46

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by rubenstein on June 11, 2005, at 13:38:47

Rachel,
Glad it's getting better for you, too.

Thanks,

gg

 

Re: Hooray!

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:12:05

In reply to Hooray! gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on June 11, 2005, at 14:13:28

Thanks Dinah, falls, and sleepygirl. It feels kinda good and kinda right, but it's a new behavior, so it hasn't settled in yet.

gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more partlycloudy

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:13:43

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on June 11, 2005, at 17:27:47


> It feels good like getting a zipper to go up without complaint. it fits.

Great metaphor. And I think one of the reasons I cry so much is due to unexpressed anger, too. Good luck with dealing with yours.

Let's all repeat after me: anger is just another feelings. Anger is just another feeling.

gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more annierose

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:15:02

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more, posted by annierose on June 11, 2005, at 18:25:05

> That's great! It's feels powerful to say what you feel and not feel inhibited. Hopefully that feeling will carry over into your therapy sessions, think of the progress you'll make!!

Yikes, at first I read this as maybe the anger will carry over into therapy and that would lead to progress. Hmmm, unconscious anger towards T at work? :)

Thanks,
gg


 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more Daisym

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:16:47

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by Daisym on June 11, 2005, at 20:25:28

Hi Daisy,
Anger at hubby outside of therapy. The birthday woes thing...

gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more Aphrodite

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:22:06

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on June 11, 2005, at 21:40:24

> Details?

See the birthday woes thread on the Social board. I'd link, but I'm pressed for time at moment. :(
>
> My T seems to have a bias against anger. He tells me that he doesn't think it's a necessary part of healing. He's not a big fan of 'spressing it. Isn't that a bit unusual for a psychologist?

I'm not sure if this is unusual or not, but I have not heard of it before. Your T is analytical? Or CBT? I forget. I think of anger as another feeling that gives you information about yourself. And I think expressing anger in a responsible way is a good thing. I'm not saying that screaming at someone, especially a loved one, is responsible. But considering the only way I used to express it to my husband wazs in indirect, passive-aggressive ways, I think direct is an improvement.

I've had clients tell me they are angry with me before. I always appreciated this, as it gives me more information about the therapy process and what's going on with the client. I've never had a screaming banshee on my hands, though. And no plate throwing, thank goodness.

My T thinks that I am moving towards becoming more authentic, and that includes angry feelings at times. And he thinks it's the result of going to twice a week therapy. But then he also admits that might be grandiose of him to think that. :) I'm not sure what I think, but it's a reasonable hypothesis.

gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more Poet

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:24:33

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by Poet on June 12, 2005, at 12:22:46

> Hi GG,
>
> If the screaming banshee is letting out negativity, don't try to tone her done, let her loose.

Thanks for the validation.
>
> Keep in mind I am good at negative emotions, it's positive ones that allude me. What would the opposite of a banshee be- a fairy godmother? I do have the fairy wand I bought for four year old me...

Hmmm, that's a good question. Someone who loudly and profusely proclaims love and joy all the time? (Why does that make me cringe?) A fairy godmother works. Or pollyanna?

I would have loved to see the wand...Good for you.


gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more JenStar

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:26:05

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on June 12, 2005, at 13:14:27

Thanks for asking. He has apologized, and I am feeling a lot better about things. We had a couple of really good although really hard talks, and we both expressed a lot.

It's remarkable, really, given how neither of us are very good at directly expressing our needs and hurts.

gg

 

Thanks folks

Posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:28:40

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more gardenergirl, posted by Tamar on June 13, 2005, at 15:42:43

Thanks Alex, jazzed, racer (apparently I'm "not a creative swearer"), pinkeye, antigua (yikes, hope things go better for you), and Tamar.

I appreciate all of your comments and support. Thanks so much. I don't know what I would do without Babbler's support.

Group hug to all. (((((((((*)))))))))

gg

 

Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more

Posted by Aphrodite on June 15, 2005, at 13:55:08

In reply to Re: Hey...I'm 'spressing myself more Aphrodite, posted by gardenergirl on June 15, 2005, at 11:22:06


> My T thinks that I am moving towards becoming more authentic, and that includes angry feelings at times. And he thinks it's the result of going to twice a week therapy.

I love what Dinah has said about that in the past -- "Twice a week therapy is not once a week therapy done twice a week." Well, at least I think I'm quoting her correctly. Anyway, I think the two of you are right about that.

My T is psychodynamic, but since he's into all of that mindfulness--Buddhist acceptance sort of thing, anger isn't big in his process. And that makes me SOOO mad!!!! ;)


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