Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 509808

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

OMGosh!!!! This guy was SUCH a freak! I would NEVER see him again, even if he was the last T on the face of the Earth! I left feeling so angry, I just shook my head in total disbelief all the way home. I wanted to scream while I was in there, couldn't wait to get OUT!!! It was the longest 40 minutes! Felt like I was going to hurl because his office smelled bad.

He didn't offer me any help that anyone here couldn't have offered me, or for that matter, didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. He was a total harda** regarding how I should be with the kids regarding discipline. Said that my husband is the king and that I am the queen, and that our family is not a democracy. Gee, how profound. NOT! And he said that because I was a stay at home "traditional" mom, I probably coddled the kids! Hardly! ARGH, I've never met this guy b4, and in the first 10 min. he thinks he's got a clue! I told him my kids were good kids, and that I didn't want to be that way with them.

He kept repeating himself, and said that he felt like he was most of the talking. Could that possibly be because you're a total jerk, who is a male chauvanist?!

Let's see, he asked me how old I am, and told me that I looked young, but that since I wasn't as young as I used to be (who is?), that I probably wasn't as used to getting down on the floor and wrestling with my kids! (Can you guys help me back into my wheelchair?) Geeze! I told him that he underestimated me. What does he know?! And this was after I told him how much I exercise - which is a lot.

He said I was irrational because I didn't feel I should deserve a break after being home all day with a two year old, even if I didn't get anything else done. Irrational? Seems a bit strong to me.

Anyway, I really want to tell my p-doc, but don't know how to broach the subject. Thought? I was thinking of just asking him if I could tell him my experience with one of the Ts. But then he could say no. I also thought that I'd ask him if he would've referred me to this guy if I'd asked for a referral, and if he said possibly, I'd tell him what a total waste of time it was. Now I have to start from square 1, and none of the other Ts in this office are accepting new patients. Gee, I wonder why he was?! LMAO!

Oh, and about his appearance, he was totally dissheveled. I've never seen a "professional" look so bad. He had long, dirty hair, a hat, sloppy clothes, and muddy shoes. Oh, NO problem with transferrence EVER in THIS lifetime!!!!!!!
Jazzy

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by sleepygirl on June 8, 2005, at 20:46:35

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

YUCK!!!! Run forest, run!!!
That sounded horrifying! What a creepy guy!

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed

Posted by pinkeye on June 8, 2005, at 21:19:41

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

LOL. I had the same feeling about one of the GPs that I met.

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 22:15:49

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

Oh, forgot to mention, while I was in the appt. His phone buzzed twice and he got up to check it both times. Excuse me, but..... It was such a waste of time, his checking his phone didn't even matter, but you all know how unprofessional that is.

My husband was laughing at how pissy he made me. ; ) At least someone enjoyed it.
Jazzy

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed

Posted by daisym on June 9, 2005, at 0:09:11

In reply to Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 22:15:49

I'm sorry you had such a lousy experience. I would ask your pdoc for a referral but if he does recommend this colleague I would explain what your experience was.

I know some styles work for some people and not for others. But gee, there seems to have been so many things that wouldn't work, for anyone! Be glad you can pick and choose. Some countries don't give people this luxury.

Try again though. There are good ones out there.

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed

Posted by Dinah on June 9, 2005, at 0:17:01

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

Definitely a frog. But keep trying, there are a lot of princes out there.

This will probably be funny to you, one day. I laugh all the time about biofeedback guy. I'd laugh more, but he was the only biofeedback therapist in a few hundred miles. :(

The really bright spot is that you saw right away he wasn't going to be a good match, and didn't think twice about going back. Good for you! Would that all his clients were so judicious.

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 7:26:58

In reply to Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed, posted by Dinah on June 9, 2005, at 0:17:01

Thanks Daisy and Dinah,

I will try again. I'll have to come up with a way to talk to my p-doc about this. I don't know how independant from one another the docs and Ts are, or if it would concern him at all.
I can imagine that I will laugh about it one day, but for now I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.

Jazzy

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed

Posted by cricket on June 9, 2005, at 7:58:44

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

Oh Jazzed. I get the creeps just reading about the guy in your post. Yuck.

What about your daughter's therapist? Could she recommend someone? I remember that you like her, correct?

Also, I'm curious. How did the session end? Did you both actually assume that you couldn't work together or did you tell him that you wouldn't be coming back?

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 8:06:53

In reply to Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.! Jazzed, posted by cricket on June 9, 2005, at 7:58:44

> Oh Jazzed. I get the creeps just reading about the guy in your post. Yuck.
>
> What about your daughter's therapist? Could she recommend someone? I remember that you like her, correct?
>
> Also, I'm curious. How did the session end? Did you both actually assume that you couldn't work together or did you tell him that you wouldn't be coming back?


Hi Cricket,

Thanks for the support, it WAS yucky.

My daughter's T is in another office, and I was hoping to keep all the other therapy and meds in the same office so it wouldn't get confusing for me. Since 5 of us go, it's hard for me to keep straight. Plus, there's a 4 month wait in the other office, and in our office none of the Ts are taking new patients, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

As far as how it ended, well, I guess I should have been more assertive with him. I couldn't get to the door fast enough! He said, "why don't you come back in a week, we need to work on that self esteem. What's a good day for you?" I just said, "I'll have to check my calendar.", but of course in my mind I was thinking, "I'll call you when hell freezes over!" Oh well.

Jazzy

 

Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!

Posted by PM80 on June 9, 2005, at 8:59:20

In reply to Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 8:06:53

Wow, what an arrogant last statement! After my first interview, my T said something like "I think that I can help you with XYZ. Where would YOU like to go from here?" He always leaves it totally up to me if I want to make another appointment and when. ANd, at the beginning of each session he asks "what would you like to talk about today?" He is all about empowering his clients in their lives, so he himself lets us have some power. I find it very reassuring that I always know where we'll start and how the session will end.

As far as the pdoc goes, I would probably say something like "I saw a therapist on my own, and I really felt that he was not a good fit for me. Could you recommend a therapist that you think is good and would be fit for me?" I wouldn't make a big deal of how horrible this guy was. Just listen to the doc, try out his judgement and you don't really have to say much about it next time you see pdoc if the 1st interview goes poorly (maybe just that it didnt really work out)unless you want to.

 

therapy appt.! Jazzed

Posted by Shortelise on June 9, 2005, at 12:19:04

In reply to Re: Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 8:06:53

Jazzed, that is just awful!!

King and Queen? What is he, Dr. Laura's little helper? What an IDIOT!

You might have wished you'd told him that you wouldn't see him if he were the last T on earth, and no doubt there would have been a certain satisfaction in that, but I like the idea of keeping one's dignity.

I do hope you can tell your pdoc about him, though. It's important that other professionals know that he is wacko and don't refer vulnerable people to him. I would think this would be info he would welcome.

What kind of credentials does he have?

It would be great if there were some sort of anonymous board here where we could list the good therapists and the bad therapists.

Now that you've seen the worst, it can get nothing but better, right?

ShortE

 

Re: therapy appt.!

Posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 12:54:35

In reply to therapy appt.! Jazzed, posted by Shortelise on June 9, 2005, at 12:19:04

Hi PM and ShortE,

I'd sure like to be able to tell the p-doc about it, and not have him be annoyed w/me for bringing it up, but I know that might not happen. On the other hand, shorte, I think you're right, he should know so he knows what works for someone like me, and what doesn't. I think I'll just tell him that I saw him, and that it was not only unproductive, but somewhat offensive.

ShortE, believe it or not he's a PhD psychologist! Unbelieveable! I know I could do a better job w/o a degree. I hope he's the worst, and that I never have to go through something like that again! It was pretty bad.

Jazzy

 

Ewww! Jazzed

Posted by Tamar on June 9, 2005, at 18:10:11

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

Oh Jazzy, I'm so sorry he turned out to be such a disappointment.

In my very humble opion, any man who tells a woman she's being irrational in relation to her kids needs to be [naughty words deleted].

I liked the suggestions other people made about telling your pdoc. But I'm delighted you've been spared the painful transference experience (for now).

Seriously, I hope you find a good therapist soon. Sorry this guy wasn't it.

Tamar


 

urgh...

Posted by Tamar on June 9, 2005, at 19:14:58

In reply to Ewww! Jazzed, posted by Tamar on June 9, 2005, at 18:10:11

I meant:
> In my very humble opinion,
blah blah blah...

 

Ick! Jazzed

Posted by Poet on June 9, 2005, at 22:04:08

In reply to Had my first (and last!!!!) therapy appt.!, posted by Jazzed on June 8, 2005, at 20:42:21

Hi Jazzed,

How horrid. I can't imagine sitting for 40 seconds with this guy. No wonder he is accepting new clients, he can't keep any.

I hope you find a good one soon. They are out there. Sorry this guy was such a loser. Ick again.

Poet


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